By: Lady Sapphire
Mariah couldn't sleep. It was hopeless to even try falling asleep. There wasn't anything wrong with the sleeping conditions. In fact, the place where she and the rest of the White Tigers were staying felt just like their hometown. No, there was an ulterior reason to her sleeplessness.
Getting up, she dressed herself, pulling a rose-pink jacket over her shoulders. Silently, she crept out the door, closing it gently behind her, as to not disturb the others from their rest. They would need their strength tomorrow.
*~*~*
It was midnight in China and the night before the big Asian tournament. All of Asia's best teams were competing. Everyone was excited, especially the White Tigers. Mariah was excited once too…but now the feeling's somewhat dispersed. That is, she was excited until she let her heart and emotions take over her mind and soul. Sighing, she made her way through the streets absent-mindedly. It was a cool night, a slight breeze playing with her soft locks of pink hair. She hadn't a clue where she was going, for her mind was elsewhere…
That afternoon, she had met Ray. Ray-- the one whom she had grown up with and the one whom she had grown to love over the years…and also the one who abandoned her so long ago.
'I never did find out why you left us,' thought Mariah angrily, clenching her fists tightly at her side, 'And it still makes my blood boil when I think about the way you just disappeared and never even said farewell. Maybe that's why, when I saw you today, I acted like you were a traitor…I still had to protect the honour of the White Tigers. But, in fact, I really miss you a lot.'
"I miss being you're friend…" she whispered glumly to the night air, remembering the days she spent with Ray as children. Those were the best times of her life.
Brushing a strand of hair out of her face, a sad expression came to rest upon her troubled features. 'It's been so long, Ray, oh why did you have to decide to show yourself now?' she grumbled, displeased by the fact the she couldn't stop thinking about him, and if this kept up, she wouldn't be able to concentrate on her Beybattle tomorrow.
I never found out why you walked away
And never said good-bye
But now that I see you
I'm torn inside
But I've still got my pride
Her daft wandering led her down a narrow path and soon she found herself in a park. Tall trees loomed overhead casting luminous shadows by the street lamps. She shrugged and sauntered over to a bench nearby to take a rest. This would be a nice quiet place to think. Leaning forward, she rested her head on her hands and slumped.
"I can't believe myself. After all these years, I can't believe that I still have these feelings for him! And especially after what he did!" cried Mariah in disbelief, growing more and more frustrated with herself. She gripped at her head, tugging her hair in aggravation.
Sometimes, it was hard letting go. And in Mariah's case, it was next to impossible. Although she constantly told herself that it was time she forgot all about Ray and move on, her heart did not want to let go, not when the reasons of why he left was still unknown. There was still hope that he would someday return and everything would be as it once was. That hope, that tiny flicker of light, was what sustained her love for him all these years. She refused to believe he was gone, afraid of the reality. And perhaps it was better that the reasons remained unbeknownst to her.
I understand
That some things are better left unsaid
I'm afraid of the truth
But what can I do
If I still want you?
Maybe it was just destiny that they would happen to meet again. Perhaps it was just fate that after what seemed like forever of trying to forget about him, one glance brought it all down. She had to face facts, she was still very much in love with him.
"Ray, I wish you would just come back and we could start again from the beginning. I miss you and your company so much. Things just aren't the same without you."
If we could start over again,
I know if we try,
Our love could be stronger.
If we could start over again,
I'm sure,
That we'd never have to let go
Meanwhile, in a hotel room not very far away, a certain dark-haired member of the Bladebreakers was also having a restless night. He turned his position on the bed, trying to find a comfortable position, but to no avail. No matter whichever way he tossed or turned, he still couldn't get any rest. What's more, was that he knew exactly the reason why he could not sleep. His mind was too preoccupied with something else. With someone else, to be precise.
Slowly, Ray pulled himself out of bed and got dressed. He was not getting any sleep just lying around, so he might as well go for a walk and some fresh air. It would help him clear his mind. Carefully, he grabbed his coat and slipped out without making a sound, as not to wake the others.
Stuffing both hands into his pocket, Ray sulkily he made his way through the dark streets, with no destination. His silky bangs gently swayed in the wind. Ultimately, he found himself in the park. The same park Mariah was in, but of course, he did not realize it. Spotting a bench near by, he approached it and laid his back across on top of it. Sighing he gazed out into the starlit sky, wondering where Mariah could be.
"Mariah…if only I could tell you how much you mean to me. After all these years, I've always hidden how I felt about you. Every time I try to tell you, I always lose my nerve…" he confessed quietly into the engulfing night. He cursed himself for missing the opportunity to tell her in person all the years he had known her.
His heart fell as he thought back to when he had met her this afternoon for the first time in years. "Why, Mariah? Why did you act so indifferent towards me when we met this afternoon? Are you still angry with me?" he questioned out loud, knowing no one was around.
"You should know, that even if I am not part of the White Tigers anymore, I would never betray them…I would never betray you, I never have and I never will. I can't let this rivalry come between the relationship we used to share," he vowed.
For so many years now I've held inside
Things I meant to say,
But faced with the past now
I realize
I can't let that stand in our way
"I'm sorry, Mariah, I never meant to hurt you this way. All I wanted was to learn more about bit beasts, about Drigger. I guess I should have told you, before I left," sighed Ray sadly.
He thought back to that day he decided to leave. He hadn't told anyone else, for fear that they would try to stop him. This was something he had to do. It was only after he had completely left the village, he began to realize his feelings for Mariah, a love that had resided in concealment within him. He dared not think about it when she was around, for she was like a sister to him in the village. But when she was gone, he couldn't stop thinking about her. And the more he thought about her, the more he missed her. Time passed, but he could never forget her. The love would not fade.
"If you only knew…I wonder…would you return my love…?"
I never knew
That a love so strong would never fade
But what can we do
If I still want you
And you want me too?
Sighing, Ray sat up and rose to his feet and continued his mindless wandering on the narrow path. In his heart, he wished that he could have the chance to explain to Mariah what he felt for her and his true intentions. He wanted to have a new start in their relationship. He did not want her to leave him again, nor did he want to be ignored anymore by the one he deeply loved.
Suddenly, tilting his head up from the ground, he noticed a darkened figure up ahead, heading towards him. From the shape of the shadow, he could tell she was a female, and wondered why a female would be up so late, in a park and alone.
As the distance between them drew nearer, he could vaguely make out a hair ribbon, tightly securing a ponytail. A pink ribbon in pink hair. There was only one person he knew of with this combination.
"Mariah?" he ventured, tentatively.
The figure ahead stopped walking and stiffened considerably. Who was calling her? Slowly, she raised her head and found herself in a pair of beautiful golden eyes. It was Ray. The very person whom she was thinking about all this time was standing right in front of her. She held her breath, afraid that if she breathed he'd disappear like an illusion. Just like how he disappeared from the village.
Indubitably, it was Mariah. She looked a bit forlorn, depressed even, but she was still Mariah. The same one he had grown up with and grown to love. Staring transfixed into a mirroring pair of golden eyes, the two of them froze on the spot.
When Ray finally felt his legs beginning to unglue themselves from the ground, he calmly made his way towards her. "Mariah, what on Earth are you doing out so late at night, and alone by yourself too? There are many dangers in the dark; you should know better than that…" he scolded.
Mariah's jaw figuratively dropped open. 'Why is he reprimanding me? Like I'm some child? He comes out here at night to tell me this?!' She shook out of her surprised expression to respond, "And why are you following me? For your information, I am perfectly aware of what I am doing, and frankly Ray, I don't need your grief," she said haughtily. She turned her back to him. 'But I do need your love…' she added silently.
"I was not following you…it was just a coincidence. I couldn't sleep so I just thought I'd go for a walk…' he said, attempting to explain. Mentally, he slapped himself. This was not what he wanted to tell her. He couldn't sleep because he felt guilty that he never told her his true emotions, but now he had the perfect chance. He wasn't going to let this chance pass by.
She crossed her arms. Blushing fervently, she could feel the warmth emitted by her cheeks. Silently, she thanked the darkness for covering it up. What were the chances of meeting the guy you were just thinking about on the same night? It was quite embarrassing, she realized, as she recalled upon her thoughts on him. Now that he stood, charming good looks and all, before her why is it that all she could do was turn away in a huff? She knew she wasn't really angry with Ray, but was merely acting this way so that her shock would not be revealed. Why did she always let her pride get in the way of her love life?
Ray sighed, and walked around her so that he was facing her. Picking up his courage, he began his confession, "Mariah, I know you are angry at me, but I have to something to tell you. Something I should have said a long time ago, and I'm afraid if I don't tell you now, I'll never have the nerve to tell you again."
'But where do I start?' he wondered to himself.
Mariah perked up and gazed into his profound, alluring eyes. 'Could it be…' she thought, but quickly denied it. It wasn't possible…was it?
"I…Mariah…I…um…" he stuttered, failing to articulate his emotions.
Rolling her eyes, she turned and started to walk away, tired of being a fool for love that was merely a fantasy, but she was halted when Ray grabbed her arm. In an instant, he whipped her around to face him, and pressed his lips on hers vigorously in a kiss. Shocked, Mariah's first instinct was to fight him off, but after awhile of ineffectual struggling, her senses kicked in, and she remembered: she wanted this. This was the kiss she had been craving for so long, a kiss that she had always dreamt about sharing with Ray. So why was she spoiling the moment? Her body became limp as she let him take control.
Without releasing her, he managed to finally voice his feelings, "I love you…" he whispered.
If we could start over again
I know if we try our love could be stronger
If we could start over again
I'm sure,
That we'd never have to let got lib?
Under a starry night sky, beneath a towering oak tree, a love was pledged between two lovers, a secret passion kept hidden for many years now. Mariah closed her eyes and leaned her head against Ray's shoulder, simply enjoying their propinquity.
Ray held her in a tight embrace, and explained everything to her. "I'm sorry for leaving. I should have told you my reasons. I won't ever let you out of my grasps again; I never should have in the first place. Oh, Mariah, you don't know how much I regret leaving you..." he whispered earnestly into her ear.
She giggled. "Ray, I love you. I've loved you since forever, but for the same reasons, I couldn't say. I was afraid…scared of ruining our friendship," she explained, "And when you left, I hated you so much, but as time passed, you always remained in my heart."
"What we shared together was so strong, I should never have let that go. Forgive me, I was wrong," apologized Ray once again.
How can we walk away
From something that was once so strong?
Have we the strength to say we're ?
Mariah threw her arms around him. "It's all right, Ray. As long as we're together now, nothing else matters. We can start over again, build a new relationship. And this time it'll be stronger than ever. You and I, we shall never be apart again," she reassured him gently.
Ray smiled and hugged her back. Yes, that's what they would do, leave the past behind and start over. Start over a new relationship, and this time he was going to make sure it lasted for the rest of his life.
If we could start over again
I know if we try our love could be stronger
If we could start over again
I'm sure,
That we'd never have to let go
~*Owari*~
Author's Notes: Another Ray/Mariah songficcy! I like this one much better, it is happier! This is such a beautiful song! *sniff* If you have the time, you simply must listen to it! It's called "If We Could Start Over" and it is sung by Celine Dion. Well, hope you enjoyed this R/M songfic, I have more songfics I want to write, but they'll have to wait! Oh and Happy March Break! Yay, no school for a week!
Disclaimer: I don't own Beyblade or this song. 'Tis a nice song though! ^_^
~Lady Sapphire
March 9, 2003