Hey! ^u^ Wow, it's my fourth ever fanfiction, and my second Angel
Sanctuary, which means it's my second Rociel/Katan angst/sap fanfiction.
Whoo-hoo! Yeah, I know this fanfic sucks just as much as the others. I've
just been rereading Volume 6 far too many times to actually be healthy.
This story is basically set after Katan has been fully cured and after the assassination attempt. It's his thoughts and feelings, and is set during the night when he cannot sleep. Rociel/Katan is implied, because it's my favourite Angel Sanctuary Ship. and its rated PG for Katan's complex feelings towards Rociel.
Oh yeah, and :: ----- :: signifies a quote from the manga. This story contains BIG spoilers for Volume 6 so if you haven't read much AS or haven't read up to Volume 6 this story reveals a lot of plot points. I myself have only read up to Volume 15.
*******
TIGHT SKIN
*******
He couldn't sleep.
The body was too tight. Too sharp. Too real. It was uncomfortable, but he knew he would have to grow used to it. Ever since he had been cured, everything had rushed in a daze, a blurred dream, and he had not had time, no time, to accept his new skin.
He could still feel Rociel's arms, draped around him. His fingers clutching his naked skin. Begging him to tell him the words that only he could hear from him. Katan. He was beautiful. The most beautiful creature in existence.
Katan curled in a ball in his bed, desperately wanting to scratch at his tight skin, and at the same time cherish the memory of Rociel's embrace upon it forever. He could never sleep now. Freed from the confines of the coffin, now back in the form of an angel. it all seemed artificial somehow.
It was probably fate. He thought. I died. And I would not take Rociel's pill. To save him. And to save me. But I am still by Rociel's side. It is a cycle. No matter what I will do, I will always end up next to him. We are two. And we belong. And I need him. I need him more then anything.
But. was it so anymore? Rociel had been desperate to save him. Rociel was so much like a child. It was not like before. When Katan looked up to Rociel, unquestionably, an innocent child, who idolized him, adored him. But now.
When he had held Rociel, Rociel had curled in his arms like a child, while Katan stood tall. Rociel had begged him to tell him. tell him that he was beautiful. He sounded so desperate, and Katan had vowed to take care of him forever.
Had fate twisted so much? Katan was now like Rociel's father. Looking after the child. And Katan hated to admit it to himself. but even now. he could not trust Rociel wholly, like in the past. Like when he was a young angel, accepting Rociel's orders, whatever they may be. And Katan missed that trust. That trust had placed him in such security, a little cocoon of ignorance. If Rociel was thinking or doing something. it was always right. Everything would turn out allright. And Katan knew that now, things were very different.
.And. what about. what about Teitel.?
:: Even for us there will come a day when our sins will disappear. If the two of us are together, we won't be lonely, Katan ::
His heart twisted.
:: You promised? To not sin anymore! To aim for the kingdom of light together, get away from him! ::
But he had not. He couldn't. And she had known. Even a small child, such as her had known. The image of her haunted him, her large trusting eyes. The beauty in them. Even she had known.
:: But I knew that you were going to choose him from the beginning. ::
But she had still believed in him. Believed that he could change. And now she was gone. Dead. And he was groping for his only salvation. His dear, deepest love for Rociel. It would always be his priority. And he could never escape it. But still, he wept for the child, the child who had known him, almost more then anyone had ever known him. Except for maybe Rociel.
And he knew. No matter what. No matter whom came in the way. Kirie. Teitel. he loved Rociel. The only one who he would ever love. Maybe the only way to save himself. was to submit to this love. He knew things could never be like the way they were before, but he couldn't care anymore. Rociel was the only person. the only thing he had left in the world. He needed him, more then he need himself. He would sacrifice his life for him.
He pulled desperately at his skin.
And he wished that he could just sleep.
--- END ---
This story is basically set after Katan has been fully cured and after the assassination attempt. It's his thoughts and feelings, and is set during the night when he cannot sleep. Rociel/Katan is implied, because it's my favourite Angel Sanctuary Ship. and its rated PG for Katan's complex feelings towards Rociel.
Oh yeah, and :: ----- :: signifies a quote from the manga. This story contains BIG spoilers for Volume 6 so if you haven't read much AS or haven't read up to Volume 6 this story reveals a lot of plot points. I myself have only read up to Volume 15.
*******
TIGHT SKIN
*******
He couldn't sleep.
The body was too tight. Too sharp. Too real. It was uncomfortable, but he knew he would have to grow used to it. Ever since he had been cured, everything had rushed in a daze, a blurred dream, and he had not had time, no time, to accept his new skin.
He could still feel Rociel's arms, draped around him. His fingers clutching his naked skin. Begging him to tell him the words that only he could hear from him. Katan. He was beautiful. The most beautiful creature in existence.
Katan curled in a ball in his bed, desperately wanting to scratch at his tight skin, and at the same time cherish the memory of Rociel's embrace upon it forever. He could never sleep now. Freed from the confines of the coffin, now back in the form of an angel. it all seemed artificial somehow.
It was probably fate. He thought. I died. And I would not take Rociel's pill. To save him. And to save me. But I am still by Rociel's side. It is a cycle. No matter what I will do, I will always end up next to him. We are two. And we belong. And I need him. I need him more then anything.
But. was it so anymore? Rociel had been desperate to save him. Rociel was so much like a child. It was not like before. When Katan looked up to Rociel, unquestionably, an innocent child, who idolized him, adored him. But now.
When he had held Rociel, Rociel had curled in his arms like a child, while Katan stood tall. Rociel had begged him to tell him. tell him that he was beautiful. He sounded so desperate, and Katan had vowed to take care of him forever.
Had fate twisted so much? Katan was now like Rociel's father. Looking after the child. And Katan hated to admit it to himself. but even now. he could not trust Rociel wholly, like in the past. Like when he was a young angel, accepting Rociel's orders, whatever they may be. And Katan missed that trust. That trust had placed him in such security, a little cocoon of ignorance. If Rociel was thinking or doing something. it was always right. Everything would turn out allright. And Katan knew that now, things were very different.
.And. what about. what about Teitel.?
:: Even for us there will come a day when our sins will disappear. If the two of us are together, we won't be lonely, Katan ::
His heart twisted.
:: You promised? To not sin anymore! To aim for the kingdom of light together, get away from him! ::
But he had not. He couldn't. And she had known. Even a small child, such as her had known. The image of her haunted him, her large trusting eyes. The beauty in them. Even she had known.
:: But I knew that you were going to choose him from the beginning. ::
But she had still believed in him. Believed that he could change. And now she was gone. Dead. And he was groping for his only salvation. His dear, deepest love for Rociel. It would always be his priority. And he could never escape it. But still, he wept for the child, the child who had known him, almost more then anyone had ever known him. Except for maybe Rociel.
And he knew. No matter what. No matter whom came in the way. Kirie. Teitel. he loved Rociel. The only one who he would ever love. Maybe the only way to save himself. was to submit to this love. He knew things could never be like the way they were before, but he couldn't care anymore. Rociel was the only person. the only thing he had left in the world. He needed him, more then he need himself. He would sacrifice his life for him.
He pulled desperately at his skin.
And he wished that he could just sleep.
--- END ---