Emmett's POV
My Favorite Things
A List Poem By: Emmett Cullen, 2nd grade
Bears. They are cool.
Girls. They are hott.
Cars. They are good to pick up girls and to drive in.
Blood. It's cool to me.
Punching. It lets me get my way a lot.
Screaming. I do this when I am mad.
Rosalie. I would so tap that.
Grudges. I like to hold them.
Hugs. I hate to give them.
Pink. Is for gay men and straight chicks.
Hate. No comment.
13. It's not lucky.
Gay Fags. Are to die for.
Writing. Is to kill for.
Hunting. Is to live for.
"What is so wrong with this poem? I definitely agree with every word of it now," I countered.
"Emmett, you can't enter you 2nd grade English poem in a competition," Rosalie argued.
"Oh, and why not?" I fumed. This poem was too perfect; the world needed to know about my master skills.
"Because, it's from second grade and it sucks," Rosalie replied.
"Well, I'm gonna go ask Alice. Humph."
With that, I dashed towards Alice's room.
"Oh, Alice? I need you to do something for me," I boomed in a sing – songy voice.
"What, Emmett. I'm kinda busy right now," she sneered.
I looked in the door she had just opened to find Jasper in there, his hair all messed up.
Not sorry I broke that up.
"It'll take one minute. I need to know what the world will think of this," I said, shoving the poem into her hands.
She burst out laughing, "Ok, that is too stupid."
"What? Alice, I'm going to enter this in a competition. Tell me if I'm going to win or not. PLEASE?!"
"I don't need a vision to tell me, there is no way in hell that this will win that competition," she said, like it was childishly obvious.
I pouted, for a very long time, before she finally gave in.
"Fine, but you owe me, this took longer that a minute."
I waited a few moments in silence, then shock crossed her face.
"O. MY. GOD. You … won?"
I pounded my fists in the air, SCORE!
"I can't believe it," I heard her murmur.
I disappeared downstairs to tell Rose, after grabbing the poem from Alice's hands.
"Guess wha–a-at?" I asked, stretching the word what.
"What," she snapped.
"Alice just told me that I am winning the competition!!" I declared, like a proud little kid.
"She did?" Rosalie seemed unfazed.
I nodded.
"Emmett, do you happen to remember what category you signed up for?" she asked, playfully.
"Nope," I responded, not seeing where she was headed with this.
"Well, I happen to know. While you were upstairs with Alice, someone called. You entered in comedy, Emmett," Rosalie said, slowly.
"I know, that's why I wondered why you guys were so stubborn. I knew you thought it was hilarious. After all, I'm me."
She stared at me in disbelief and walked away.