Prompt: Coulson isn't a fan of Thor's unique name for him.
Author's Note: This was just an example piece of Narrative for a RP submission. As I am writing a Thor crossover for NoNa, I thought I would bulk up my new account with a short flic. I am hoping to develop it into a series, with each Avenger calling him that name at some point, and his reaction to it. I have no idea how long that will take though. [LAZY] So anyway, read if you wish and I hope you enjoy it.
Extra Note: My headcanon is that Coulson enjoys Reality Television. I don't know why I picked Survivor, we don't even have that anymore in the UK lol.
It was nearing the end of the work day and Agent Coulson was finally beginning to believe he had escaped for the day. Of course working with the Avengers did mean that his work day was rather disjointed, but it was not the end of his shift that he was waiting for. In exactly 23 minutes, Jane Foster would officially be finished for the day, and Coulson would no longer have to worry about being ambushed by a certain God of Thunder.
It was not that Coulson disliked Thor. In comparison to Stark, he was almost angelic with his ways. Of course Rogers was the most efficient out of the group but Thor, when not angered or withheld from food, was normally most agreeable. Though he still had not found a way to make the Asgardian prince do his paper work, but the agent was sure that he would one day find a way. All men have their weaknesses, even Thunder Gods.
No, his reasoning for wishing to avoid the Asgardian was simply because of three words. Son of Coul. Over the last three weeks Thor had randomly approached him many times, calling him that name, and insisting that he join the Thunder God in a trip to the nearest "Tavern" in order to "make their ancestors proud". The God did not even seem to understand the idea of personal space, a fact Coulson found out when he was using the Men's Bathroom as a hiding place.
It did not matter how many times he told him he was on duty, that he did not drink, that he wasn't even allowed out of the base without clearance (of course these were lies), the golden haired prince did not give up. If anything he had increased his attacks, and even tried to persuade him with gifts. Coulson was now beginning to feel bad for accepting the coffee and donuts he found on his desk.
Stark was laughing at him, and so was Barton and Romanoff, the latter was even encouraging the God. Coulson needed to think of something, quickly too it seemed as thunderous footfalls were approaching his door. Using his rational mind, the agent decided he had two choices; dealing with the target head on, or taking cover. As Thor opened the door it was obvious he had gone with the second choice.
"Son of Coul! Come, Jane is working late this eve and so we shall drink in the names of the mighty Coul and Odin! They and their fathers will smile on us proudly as we toast to their battles." A pause. "Son of Coul?"
Sitting beneath his desk, Coulson began to recite the names of the contestants from Survivor in his mind, starting with the first season. Thor had began inspecting the room at season 2, neared the table at season 8, sighed at season 14 and left the room at season 16. When Coulson had reached season 21 he decided it was safe to exit his desk.
Whilst he put the finishing touches to his report about Stark's latest train wreck of a press conference, Coulson briefly wondered if S.H.I.E.L.D had Loki's contact details. Or if he should perhaps think about changing his last name by deed poll.