Hi Everyone! This is only my second fic and I'm really rusty. Special thanks to tinyhuman02 for being my beta! This story will be a few chapters long. I hope you enjoy.
"Do you?"
April thought that today a man would be saying, "I do" to her. Now she had her terrified best friend standing in front of her asking her if she loved him back. April hadn't taken her eyes off of the blue orbs staring at her from across the room. Time stood still. She had no idea how much time had passed since Jackson stopped speaking and neither one of them had drifted their eyes elsewhere. April's heart was racing and her throat felt like it was drier than the Sahara. She needed to move or do something, but all the bride could manage to do is swallow hard. Normally, April rose above in a crisis. She was a freaking trauma surgeon for goodness sake.
The room was practically silent and April didn't hear Matthew calling her name until she felt his sweaty palm gently pull at her arm. The paramedic guided April out the side of the Church and into the rectory. The red head was too nervous to look back at Jackson. Now that she was finally moving she didn't want to risk falling flat on her face. There had already been enough people humiliated that day and truthfully April was not one of them.
The couple that was supposed to be married that day sat in silence for what felt like an eternity. April kept her eyes on the front of her dress and fidgeted with the ring around her finger. She took a deep breath and looked into Matthew's eyes for the first time since Jackson had spoken.
"Matthew...I..uh I don't know what to say. You would think that someone who loves to talk as much as I do would be able to find the words to say right now. I had no idea that...that Ja-Jackson was going to do that. I would never ever set out to hurt you. I..I..Matthew say something please!"
Matthew's face softened and he let out a small laugh. How was he even laughing right now? The groom grabbed April's hands and looked up at her.
"You know I should've seen this coming. Your reaction on the night of the bus explosion said everything. And you know what? I'm an idiot for choosing to ignore it. I know you would never set out to hurt me April, but right now I am hurting. I'm pissed at you. I'm pissed at Jackson. But most of all I'm pissed at myself. It's always been him and I know you were just trying to convince yourself that we could work out. And we were never gonna work out. Even if we made it through today together. You know why? Because you have never looked at me the way that you look at him. And you never would. I have to let this go, let us go. Because it wouldn't be fair to either one of us. See this...this is the Christian in me speaking, but that doesn't erase the fact that I am furious. And even if we went through with this today I would never be able to look at you the same way again."
Matthew let go of April's hands and she wiped a stray tear running down her cheek.
"This is why I could've married you. You really are an amazing person and thank you for everything. I'm so, so sa-sorry." April choked out in a sob.
"I guess this is goodbye then" Matthew replied. He rose from his chair without making eye contact and walked out of the room.
"Goodbye," April whispered as she watched the man that she loved second best walk out of the room.
April sat in the rectory in silence. She heard a knock on the door and almost jumped out of her seat. "Sorry, I didn't mean to scare you! I just thought you could use a friend." Arizona said with a faint smile.
"Ari-Arizona, no it's fine. Thanks. You really are a great friend and a great..a gr gr-great maid of honor." April said letting out a quiet sob.
"Sshh sshh it's okay. Matthew told everyone to leave. It's just me and you right now." Arizona said pulling April in for an embrace and rubbing calming circles on her back.
Me and you. April had heard those words before, but in a totally different situation. Yet all of this came back to one source: Jackson. Oh god Jackson.
"So...everyone's gone?" April asked pulling her head off of Arizona's shoulder.
"Well...I'm not sure. Matthew told everyone to leave and as he was walking out he..um well he punched Jackson in the face. I had to have Owen restrain Karev cause he was about to fight back for Avery. Can't have him messing up that hand. I have never understood why boys get so into that stuff. I guess they really are all cave men." Arizona said with a chuckle.
April let out a little laugh too. Never a dull moment with her coworkers. "Hey Arizona, can I ask you something?"
The blonde looked up at her friend with wide eyes, "Yeah..yes of course! Do you need me to get you something to eat or a drink or a change of clothes or..."
"Arizona stop! You're going to freak me out! And I'm already a little on edge to begin with given the events that have transpired today." The trauma surgeon replied.
"Sorry! I just want to be helpful. And this situation is new to me and I don't want to make things harder for you April. Should I get Mere? She has more experience with wedding fiascos." Arizona quickly covered her mouth and gasped. "You know what I'm just gonna zip it and let you speak."
"Arizona you're doing great. And thank you. Okay..um..do you think that two people who have really hurt each other can make things work? Can they have a chance at truly being happy together? Because I'm scared. I'm scared out of my mind and I just need to know what to do. I wish there was some instruction manual on this because I'm kinda a control freak and I don't know what's gonna happen. With Jackson things have never gone as we planned. And things with him are far from perfect, but with him I feel free. He changed me and I feel...I feel alive with him. But...we have hurt each other so much and I don't know if I can go through with all of this again."
Arizona took a deep breath and ushered them over to the couch on the other side of the room. "You know when I was freaking out earlier?" April nodded her head and Arizona continued. "Well I'll let you in on a little secret. We are all scared. It's good to be scared. It means you still have something to lose. The easy route may be less painful, but I mean come on! What fun is that?"
Both of the ladies burst out laughing. The line wasn't even that funny, but looking back on both of their lives nothing had been easy. It was like God was mocking April on her wedding day for trying to take this route. He wasn't having any of it. This wasn't in His plan for her and if April was being honest with herself she knew that all along.
"Thanks again Arizona. I'm gonna go check to see if anyone is still here." April pulled he friend into a hug and then headed back into the church.
There was only one person left there. "Daddy?" He father looked up at her with tired and sympathetic eyes. "Da-Dad I'm so sorry for everything. I'm sorry for being such a disappointment and I will pay you back every cent you spent on this wedding." April was just now crying uncontrollably. She felt awful for bringing her family out here and wasting their time and money.
"Oh April, sweetheart. You are far from a disappointment. Honey, you are one of my greatest accomplishments." Joe Kepner stood up and pulled his little girl in for a hug. The kind of hug that only daddies can give. "Nothing you could do would change how much I love you. You are my star, remember?" Her father said while whipping a few stray tears away.
"Always. I love you so much, Dad." Always. Another word that rang in her head. I love you, April. I always have.
"Oh and that Jackson boy left something with me for you." April stood there with her mouth gapped. Jackson had talked to her father? Joe let go of his daughter and reached down into the pew. "I love you pumpkin and I just want you to be happy. I'll give you a few minutes and will meet you in the car." Joe said handing April a brown box and walking out of the church.
April starred down at the box. It was one she had picked out for the wedding. She opened it and a butterfly flew out. Was this supposed to be some twisted joke on Jackson's end? Then something caught her eye. Scribbled on the inside of the top box was a message in Jackson's handwriting.
April, I never meant to hurt you. I am so sorry for ruining your wedding, but I am not sorry that I am in love with you. And I am not sorry that I told you. It's always been me and you and I want it to always be me and you. Take all the time you need, but when you're ready to talk come find me. I love you, always.
Next chapter will have way more Japril interaction. I just felt like April should talk to these people first. Please review and let me know what you think! Thank you :)