You are the best thing that's ever been mine.
The words echo deep in Brittany. She walks aimlessly. Her feet hit the pavement harder with each step, her jaw clenched. She takes deep breaths of cold air into her lungs. After a while the air stings, street lamps come on and the sun disappears.
She stops at the end of a street, panting. She's been walking for hours.
Ever since the choir room.
She blinks once and looks around. She knows this street. She knows that house on the corner with it's red door. Her eyes count the houses, she doesn't need to look at the numbers on the mailboxes to know which one her feet are taking her to.
She stops in front of Santana's house and stares at the wooden door.
The night feels too quiet around Brittany. The wind rustles the leaves of the big oak tree in the Lopez's front yard. She and Santana used to climb that tree in the summer when they were younger.
She walks down the path. Her hands get cold as she steps onto the porch. She can't seem to feel her fingers when she knocks on the door.
She can hear muffled voices on the other side of the door, footsteps and a figure, blurred in the glass pane. Santana opens the door.
Brittany doesn't know who she was expecting to see.
"Britt," Santana says, blinking and taking a step back.
Brittany says nothing.
"What's...are you okay?" Santana's voice is laced with concern, Brittany can see it in the way her eyes soften.
"I wanted to see you." The first words that pop into her head.
"Britt," Santana says so softly Brittany thinks her heart my break.
"Can we talk? I need to talk." Brittany says, her voice wavers lightly.
"Brittany," Santana says taking a step forward.
"You're my best friend."
The silence is nearly palpable. Brittany flexes her fingers at her sides.
"Of course," Santana says, clearing her throat. "Of course, come in."
Brittany steps past Santana into the foyer of the Lopez house. Her second home. She keeps her back to Santana and turns when she hears the door shut, the bolt locked.
"Do you wanna go upstairs?" Santana asks it so softly Brittany isn't sure if she heard her.
"Mija?" Brittany's heart skips a beat when she hears Santana's mothers voice.
"Have you told them?" Brittany asks, eyes wide.
"No," Santana whispers, sniffing.
"Oh, Brittany," Maribel says, stepping out of the kitchen. "I should have figured." She smiles at Brittany.
"Mrs. Doctor Lopez," Brittany says smiling back. "Always a pleasure."
"Santana, your father and I are going to watch the new NCIS, would you two like to join us?" Maribel asks, stepping back into the kitchen. Brittany hears the microwave ding. "I can make more snacks," she calls.
"We're fine mom, we're just going upstairs," Santana calls back.
Brittany watches her body language closely. She watches Santana fidget, her weight shifting back and forth. She clenches her hands into fists, forcing them to stay at her side. She looks down.
"Keep the door open," Maribel laughs.
Brittany can't help the way her mouth turns up at the corner. She looks up in time to see Santana averting her eyes.
"Thanks, mom."
They listen to Maribel move around the kitchen. Brittany counts the light thumps she hears as Mrs. Lopez disappears into the basement family room. "I forgot," she says without realizing.
"Forgot what?" Santana looks back at her.
"NCIS."
Santana says nothing, she looks away. "Wanna go to my room?"
"Yeah,"Brittany says. She wipes her hands on the side of her pants and follows Santana up the stairs.
Santana's room smells like Santana and clean laundry. Brittany didn't know what she was expecting.; Santana's room always smelled like Santana. She feels a lump rising in her throat. She steps into Santana's room and looks around, half-smiling at all of the piles of folded clean laundry.
"Brittany," Santana says slowly.
"Santana," Brittany interrupts, turning around. Her smile gone. "I understand. I know why you're doing this, but I really don't want to do this." She balls her hands into nervous fists at her sides again. "I don't know how to do this."
Santana doesn't say anything. Brittany watches, her heart racing as Santana's warm brown eyes begin to water. "You sang that song to me. You're my best thing too, Santana. You've always been my best thing."
Santana turns her body away and Brittany's heart breaks all over. "Santana," she says softly, taking a step forward.
Santana says nothing.
"Santana," Brittany says again. "We could just try. I'll try better." She hates how much her hands are sweating. She hates the lump in her throat. She exhales, frustrated, searching for the words she needs. "You're my best thing. I love you."
Brittany watches closely as Santana's shoulders tense, her entire posture seizing up.
"Brittany," she whispers. Brittany stops, hearing the waver in her voice.
"Look at me," Brittany says, stepping closer.
Santana turns around and Brittany's heart jolts. Her body softens towards Santana when she notices she's crying. She can see Santana's heart breaking. She can see that same look in her eyes, the same look she saw in front of those lockers while Ben-Israel interviewed her about Karofsky.
She can see Santana trying to figure it all out as best as she can.
"Britt," Santana says, voice breaking. She brings her hand to her face, wrapping her free arm around her stomach.
"You're mine," Brittany whispers.
"Please," Santana begs.
Brittany cuts her off, stepping forward, pulling Santana against her and holding her tightly. "Mine," she whispers into her ear. Santana's hands clinging to her body.
Brittany buries her face against Santana's neck, inhaling her scent. She holds Santana, feeling her crying against her. She can feel her body shivering, her breath catching in her throat. Brittany blinks her eyes over and over, trying to hold her own tears at bay.
She wishes she hadn't have come over.
Santana in her arms makes everything right itself again.
She kisses her neck once.
"Britt," Santana says, voice thick. Her body stiffening.
"Shhhh," Brittany whispers against Santana's neck, kissing again. She grips Santana's body, holding her tighter. Her lips open, sucking ever so slightly at Santana's skin.
Santana's breath catches again, different. Brittany's heart begins to pound, pulsing through her whole body. Santana's body presses harder to Brittany and she can't help the small noise she makes as she kisses Santana's soft skin again.
She knows every what every shift or smile or raised eyebrow means from Santana. She knows her curves and her skin and all of her nervous habits. She knows her body and it's language. She knows what Santana's heart pounding so hard against hers means. She knows by the way her hands grip with more nail than they did before into the back of Brittany's shirt. She knows by the way her legs move, sliding slightly apart like they have for Brittany many times before.
Need.
She can feel the same desire making her skin flush and her knees weak. She kisses below Santana's ear and when she receives a light gasp in return she reacts strongly. She pushes her body against Santana's, moving her backwards quickly. Santana's body smacks against the wall, whimpering on impact. Her wide eyes find Brittany's.
Brittany freezes, heart beating so hard it's all she can hear. She pulls away, opening her mouth to apologize.
Santana's hands find her hips, pulling their bodies together hard. Brittany's body respond immediately, lips finding Santana's, hands sneaking into her hair. She moans into Sanana's mouth, forcing her leg between Santana's, eliciting a moan.
"You're mine," Brittany says, voice low as she kisses her way across Santana's jawline.
"Britt," Santana gasps. Brittany's heart pounds impossibly fast as she feels Santana's nails gripping into her back.
Brittany's hands move on their own, in Santana's hair, down her neck, over her breasts, squeezing. Brittany can't help but smile into her quick kisses as Santana moans loudly. Brittany's hands slide down, down to her hips. She doesn't hesitate, her hand slips into Santana's shorts, between her spread legs.
"Shhh, honey," she says, hands touching hot flesh. They gasp into each others mouths as soon as Brittany makes contact. Santana's legs buckle, Brittany presses her body harder against Santana.
Her fingers work slowly.
"Britt," Santana moans, head leaning back against the wall as Brittany spends a long time kissing the base of her throat.
Brittany's body flushes harder, the ache between her legs becoming unbearable. She works her fingers slowly against Santana's clit.
Santana gasps loudly, arms around Brittany's neck tightening, pulling their bodies impossibly close.
"Mine,"Brittany grunts against the soft skin of Santana's neck.
"Baby please," Santana begs, lips weakly kissing Brittany's face.
Brittany melts at the words. She looks into Santana's eyes and kisses her. "I love you," she whispers, sliding two fingers slowly inside of her.
It's a feeling she knows so well. The connection, the love, the trust. It took so long to get there.
"I love you, Britt," Santana gasps into Brittany's mouth, whimpering.
Brittany's fingers move back and forth, her own hips rocking against Santana's leg. She kisses Santana at any point she can reach. Her lips and chin, her jaw and neck and ear.
"You're mine," she whimpers against Santana. She can feel the build in her body growing. She can feel it radiating off of Santana. The way her nails grip, her hips move, her body trembling ever so slightly.
Santana's hands move quickly, right hand gripping Brittany, left hand sliding into the hem of Brittany's shorts and-
"Oh," Brittany gasps louder than she means to. She shudders, Santana's fingers on her clit, stroking her, slipping inside of her. "I love you," Brittany repeats, her head resting on Santana's shoulder. She kisses her neck, kisses up to her lips.
They meld together, disappearing into their own world. Brittany only knows Santana, Santana's body and love and fingers inside of her. Santana, Santana, San-
"Britt," Santana whimpers, the rest of her words swallowed by Brittany's lips on hers. She kisses Santana as hard as she can, feeling her quake and writhe under her. She gasps, feeling her own body falling, reeling with Santana's. She presses as hard against her as she can, trembling. Her face buried in Santana's neck again.
She shivers and can't stop. She tastes salt on Santana's neck.
"Brittany," Santana whispers so lovingly that Brittany's heart breaks. She slides her fingers slow from Santana and wraps herself as completely around her as she can, crying freely.
"You're mine," she sobs.
She can feel Santana holding her just as hard. "I know," Santana cries, holding Brittany and stroking her hair. "I am."
Brittany holds onto her as long as she can.