"That's why I'm so sorry. But I have to do this."
Then he's off, running away from his friends with the hope that he can still call all of them that even after the timeline changes. There's a small voice in the back of his head saying Don't do this. You think that this will make everything better, but it will only make things worse, and Barry knows it's the Speed Force, but he doesn't care. He has to do this, has to save her. Anything else would fix him about as much as a band-aid fixes broken glass.
Save her. Save her. Save her is what starts playing over and over again in his mind, drowning out the other voice, the Speed Force's voice, to almost nothing.
Save her. Save her. Save her.
Now clad in his Flash suit, he races down a city street, and within seconds a familiar portal appears. He dives into it without hesitation.
Save her. Save her. Save her.
It's easier this time, moving through the blue tunnel of energy to reach that night. It took him a while to truly focus on the event before, the first time he did this, but now it's all he's thinking about. In fact, he passes through so quickly that there aren't any past, present, or future memories along his path as he runs.
Save her. Save her. Save her.
He shoots out of the portal and skids to a stop, his leather boots scraping against the road. The first thing Barry's eyes focus on is the sign for Holly Drive, the street he grew up on for the first eleven years of his life.
The street his mother and his father died on.
Not for long, says the only audible voice in his head. You're going to set things back to the way they were always supposed to be. You're going to save both of them.
Save them. Save them. Save them.
He turns and sees the flashes of lightning in his house, hears the screams of the woman that was doomed to die tonight, but is now the woman who will be miraculously saved. It's everything Barry's ever wanted, the thing he's dreamed of countless times, and now it will be real.
Save them. Save them. Save them.
His mom will live. His dad won't go to jail. He'll have the life he's always deserved.
Save them. Save them. Save them.
But he also might never become a forensic scientist without his mother's murder driving him on. He'll never become friends with Caitlin and Cisco, never meet Harry and Jesse. He'll never move in with Iris and Joe.
But he'll also never be so broken that even he doesn't know if he can be healed again.
Suddenly Iris's voice fills his head, and the other voice, his voice, goes silent.
"Wherever you need to go, whatever you need to do, do it. And when you get back, I'll be here."
Iris will be waiting for him when he comes back home. He'll find his way back to her, he's sure of it. No matter what happens.
Then she says something else:
"Run, Barry. Run."
So he does.