I finished 2-1 of Super Paper Maria early and am working on the interlude redo, so you get to enjoy this wacky little oneshot I wrote. The description says it all. Oh, and I'm sure I don't know how courtroom procedures go exactly, so don't bug me about that, okay? And it's supposed to be stupid anyway. Don't question it.

*It should be noted that the X-Nauts ended up going into law in this oneshot.

*Grodus may or may not be slightly OOC. This is done on purpose considering he's just a head.

*There is A LOT of fourth-wall breaking in this oneshot.

I don't own the Mario franchise/anything by Nintendo, or any of the references in this oneshot.

It was quite a normal afternoon in the X-Naut Courthouse…except for the case that no one was quite sure how to address. For one thing, this case was a rather unusual charge in itself, and it was impossible to 'fix' the problem, per se… the person making the charges was also very strange, and had handwriting next to impossible to decipher, to make things worse. The defendant, however, was another problem entirely: it would be very, very difficult to bring this person into the courthouse. One shouldn't underestimate X-Nauts, though, which is where we come in now.

The entire courtroom had been filled with an abnormally large amount of people, which was odd standing alone, but not so odd once you got right down to it. An X-Naut stood and cleared his throat for silence, which fell immediately. He spoke. "All rise for the dude—I mean, the honorable dude—I mean, the dude judge—"

"Grodus," the Elite X-Naut next to him spat, elbowing him.

"Right, the honorable judge Grodus, rise for him." The first X-Naut sighed.

There was a collective wave of movement as everyone rose for Lord Crump, who was carrying a rather large head. This was apparently all that was left of Grodus.

"Be seated," Grodus commanded. Everyone sat once more.

"U-Uh…hey… can I put you down now?" Lord Crump's arms were shaking. Grodus the head somehow leapt out of Lord Crump's grip to allow him to collapse to the floor from the extreme and disproportional weight of Grodus' head.

"Where is the defendant?" Grodus snapped at an X-Naut, who jumped. "O-Oh…" the X-Naut appeared particularly nervous. "We, uh… we kind of… we're trying to get him in here now."

An audible SLAM sounded against the courtroom doors, causing the audience to jump as one, and turn around in surprise as the doors opened and a strange little creature was dragged in.

"I HAVE INNOCENCE!" he screeched. "I have the blamelessness of a small kitten who sits upon a soft cushion, drinking milk out of the saucer that scoffs at your negligence!"

Grodus gave a snort of appreciation, which was odd considering he did not possess a nose. "Ah, yes… you're 'Fawful', aren't you?"

"You are of the incorrect notion! I laugh at your hopelessly idiotic brain that is dwarfed by the Fawfulish fruit of knowledge! Fawful the super genius stands before you, fink-rat, with guilt equal to the number preceding the number that Fawful will always be on the list of ultimate villains!" Fawful spat, taking a seat at last as the X-Naut who dragged him in scurried off.

"Actually," Grodus said dryly, "there is a case against you."

"Lies! Deceit! I HAVE INDIGNANCE! Fawful demands to know this case bearing no importance to the lives of even the most obscure obscurities like the red and green fink-rats who I hate!" Fawful shouted, flailing his arms in frustration. "You are lacking in the case! You are caseless!"

There was silence in the courtroom, broken by Grodus, who cleared a throat he did not have—by now, the assumption that there was a noise simulator in his head was a good one—and resumed running the trial. "Since there seems to be no need to make sure this defendant is who he says he is… let's get back to business. The prosecution may now enter the courtroom."

The double doors swung open to reveal a man no taller than Fawful, but certainly older. "He's guilty, see?" he thundered, stomping into the court with a strangely cartoony snarl on his masked visage. "Guilty! Guilty! Guilty! No one steals from Popple the shadow thief, you hear me? NO ONE!"

Fawful stood and glared at Popple, hissing, "I have scorn! Fawful does not steal, let alone from thieves who call themselves great but are really the second cousin of the disgusting mold left on the bread that holds together the old sandwich that emits the stench of losers!"

Popple gawked at him with unflattering disbelief, quickly followed by him leaping at Fawful with his fists thrashing at him from all directions. "THAT AIN'T GONNA FLY, SEE?"

"Fawful commands you to bring it!" Fawful shrieked, his headgear snapping at Popple furiously. There was a loud and violent scuffle for several moments until two Elite X-Nauts managed to break the fight up. Popple was still struggling against his restraint, while Fawful was panting, though admittedly quite livid.

"Now then," Grodus growled, "Maybe we can hear the case."

"THIS guy," Popple spat, "used my battle theme in the penultimate battle of Superstar Saga!" The cartoony snarl reappeared on his face. "BOO! BOO, I SAY! IT DOESN'T HAPPEN!"

"Fawful did no such thing! I have DENIAL!" Fawful grunted, his headgear spitting with rage at this point. Popple gasped and tore from the Elite X-Naut to avoid the blasts now shooting from the mouth of the headgear. The Elite X-Naut abandoned his duty to take cover at once.

"You know," Grodus sighed, "The game is already out, and you choose to bring this up… how many years later?"

"Cripes! It's not my problem, it's his!" Popple shot an accusing finger at Fawful, which he quickly retracted with a yelp, as Fawful's headgear had just bitten it.

"And what do you want me to do about it?" Grodus asked dully.

"Wh… I DON'T CARE, SEE? Feed him to the Cheep Cheeps! Just make him PAY!" Popple roared.

"Fawful refuses to be the meal of the fish who will surely turn and snack upon your faces with the rage of Fawful's aftertaste of fury burning in their bellies!" Fawful screamed, glaring from Popple to Grodus with deep loathing. "I have INNOCENCE! I have RAGE! I… have… FURY!"

There was a very loud silence. A screen suddenly lowered itself from the ceiling and displayed a clip of the second Fawful fight. The court stared at the clip that displayed the fight between Fawful and the team of Mario and Luigi, and the music was—

"MINE!" Popple yelled, pointing at the screen in triumph. "THAT'S MINE, SEE? IT'S MY MUSIC!"

"What is this?" Fawful squealed, clearly stunned. "Fawful had no knowledge of this! Unless my mind has insanity, the music belonging to the hapless crook is playing on the battle that brings back memories of fury!"

"I'LL SHOW YOU HAPLESS, YOU LITTLE—!" Popple lunged for Fawful again. The fight resumed.

Grodus sighed deeply as the screen pulled itself up again and the brawl was thrown several unsuccessful attempts to be broken up. "Alright. Get up, both of you."

At his voice, the two small villains jumped up and glowered up at Grodus. "Is he going to jail or what?" Popple barked, positively fuming and favoring his right hand, for Fawful's headgear had bitten the entire hand this time rather than just his finger.

"Well, I did reach the verdict," said Grodus.

"And?"

"Not guilty."

"WHAT?" Popple choked out.

"HA!" Fawful jumped up on the nearest table and began a victory dance. "Fawful laughs at your face of stupidity that screams of the defeat that I know not! I SPIT IN YOUR GENERAL DIRECTION!"

"Cripes! Why...Why is he innocent?" Popple demanded hotly, pointing at Fawful, who was now breakdancing with surprising skill.

"Because," Grodus grumbled, "he didn't know he'd stolen your theme. You also chose to bring up this case several years too late. Furthermore, I find you both inferior and want this case done and over with as quickly as possible."

"…Meh!" Popple scowled and stuck his nonexistent nose in the air. "I don't care, see? I'll just go…steal something! Yeah! Then you'll ALL see the wrath of Popple, shadow thief!" With that, Popple dashed out of the courtroom and did not return.

Grodus rolled his… eyes… and made a motion with his head. "Fine then. I declare the defendant not guilty. Case closed. Bring in the dancing lobsters."

With this command, a few rather odd lobsters danced into the courtroom and crowded around Fawful as his backup dancers. Fawful was still grooving quite spectacularly while his headgear played rather upbeat dance music. The audience joined in with enthusiasm, along with the X-Nauts.

Yep. Just another peaceful afternoon at the X-Naut Courthouse.

To celebrate his 'not guilty' verdict, Fawful has requested reviews. What are you waiting for? Click that button!