Disclaimer: I don't own Lost Girl, obviously.

So, the other day I was diligently working on the stories I've been trying to finish forever when, to my horror, my computer got infected with a virus and became unusable, causing me to lose all my work. The good news is that it can be repaired and all data restored, but it'll take a few days, so in the meantime I decided to crank out this little two-part short story.

Just to be clear, since this is my first foray into the Lost Girl fandom, I ship Bo/Dyson, so if you prefer Doccubus or Valkubus, you might want to hit the 'back' button right now and find something else to read.

Well, that could've gone better, Bo thought as she watched Tamsin storm out. Telling someone who loved you that you didn't return their feelings was never easy or fun, but she really wished the awkward conversation she'd just been forced to have with Tamsin hadn't ended with the valkyrie running away in tears. Maybe if I'd said something different, found a better way of handling it…

As she replayed their breakup in her head, though, she realized it had gone about as well as it possibly could – Tamsin had decided they were a couple, managing in the process to blind herself to all the subtle and not-so-subtle signals that that wasn't what Bo wanted, and that was always going to end badly. The only thing Bo could've done differently that might have really helped was to make it clear from the start that they were just friends with benefits so Tamsin couldn't delude herself about the extent of Bo's interest and attraction to her.

So why didn't I do that? the succubus asked herself. True, she had tried not to respond in any way that could be considered overtly encouraging when Tamsin flirted with her…until the night of her birthday, when the blonde stepped up her efforts by literally giftwrapping herself for Bo. Rebuffing her at that point would have had serious repercussions; she would've been hurt and angry and might even have left like she did tonight, and Bo didn't think she could handle anyone else leaving her after Kenzi…

Least of all Tamsin, who had done more than anyone else to fill the hole Kenzi's departure had left in Bo's life. As she had noted earlier, she and Tamsin had been living together and taking cases together, and basically doing all the things she used to do with Kenzi, which lessened the pain of her best friend's absence a little. Holy fae, did I really sleep with Tamsin because I was desperate to hang onto my Kenzi substitute?

Bo sank onto her couch, feeling like she'd been punched in the gut. She didn't want to believe she could be insensitive enough to give Tamsin false hope so she could continue using her to satisfy her own emotional needs, or pathetic enough to sleep with someone just because she was afraid they wouldn't be her friend anymore if she didn't, but the more she thought, really thought about her recent actions, the more it seemed like that was exactly what she'd done. And even after all that, she'd still pushed Tamsin away in the end, just like she'd alienated Kenzi.

She stopped that train of thought in its tracks; she'd already spent enough time agonizing over her failure to be there when Kenzi needed her most and vowing to do better if the human girl ever came back and gave her a chance to make it up to her. As for Tamsin, Bo wasn't sure if she could fix their friendship; she might have screwed that up irreparably, but it was done now, and even though she was sorry she had hurt Tamsin, she didn't regret breaking up with her. Having entered into that relationship for all the wrong reasons, she had finally realized it couldn't go on any longer, especially not now that she and Lauren were on their way to getting back together.

It had been rather sudden – one minute Bo was expressing her frustration with Lauren working to make Evony fae again (what was the point of turning the evil bitch human if she was just going to turn around and undo it?) and the next, after Lauren revealed her real reason for being at the clinic, Bo had been so relieved to know she wasn't losing Lauren to the dark side after all that she hadn't thought twice about falling back into the doctor's arms.

Of course, she didn't expect rekindling their romance to be a totally smooth ride; a slight frown crossed her face as she remembered all the issues that had come between them when they tried dating before. Now that Bo was in thinking mode, it occurred to her that those issues hadn't gone away – Lauren's human chi still wasn't enough to sustain her, making true monogamy impossible, she still couldn't guarantee that she'd always be able to make Lauren her first priority since her life was just as chaotic as ever, they still had almost no common interests, and now, on top of all that, there was the whole Karen Beattie thing that Lauren still hadn't fully explained; her words in the lab about how people had died because of her were vague at best, and the situation hadn't allowed for any further discussion – so maybe the chances that it would be different if they tried again weren't great.

Still, Lauren was her true love, wasn't she? Even the all-knowing oracles said so; Trick had told her how oracles appeared as whoever their target's heart most desired, and when they visited Bo they took on Lauren's form…

…And Dyson's. Her pensive frown deepened as she recalled her vision. Why had Dyson been part of it? And the things he'd said… "There's a reason you chose me first. Everything we've been through, everything we've sacrificed – that was love. It doesn't go away."

That was true; despite all the times she had recited her 'no feelings' mantra as they tore each other's clothes off, almost like she was trying to convince herself as well as him, Bo had to admit that she did still feel something for the wolf. She had told herself over and over that it was just platonic love until she finally believed it, but now she wasn't so sure. Platonic love wouldn't qualify him as one of the people her heart most desired, would it?

Bo didn't think so because, platonically speaking, there was no one she loved more than Kenzi, so if the oracles would appear as someone she only loved as a friend, then Kenzi should've been in there somewhere. Then there were all those little moments that, if she'd paid attention, might have given her a hint – the most recent example being how, when Mark first showed up, she found him irresistible until she put her finger on the similarities between him and Dyson, after which her attraction to the obnoxious teen shifter disappeared, proving she was never into Mark himself. She only liked him because he reminded her of Dyson. That incident had actually caused her to think back to the time when she thought he was the one, only for Tamsin to persuade her that they were better as friends…except Tamsin wasn't exactly an unbiased observer when it came to Bo's love life, so she probably should have taken her advice with a grain of salt.

Okay, so maybe I'm not as over Dyson as I thought. The question is, what am I going to do about it? A lead weight seemed to drop into her stomach as she realized that, even though acknowledging these feelings would definitely complicate things, she couldn't just sweep them under the rug. Lauren's Dyson-related insecurities had been a major problem for her and Bo last time, so trying to restart their relationship when she couldn't honestly assure the doctor that she had absolutely no interest in Dyson anymore wouldn't be fair to Lauren, or to herself.

She decided the first step was to clear the air with Dyson, because she needed to know how he felt about her before she could figure out where to go from here. For all she knew, he might have moved on to thinking of her as just a friend he occasionally slept with, and if he had, there was no reason to pursue this any further; she would go back to Lauren and never let another romantic thought about him fight its way out of her subconscious. But if he hadn't… What would she do then?

Bo stood up with an exasperated huff; it was late, and she was so tired that all she wanted to do was crawl into bed, but she doubted she'd be able to sleep until she had sorted this out. She went outside, got into her car, and started driving toward Dyson's place.

Well, that's that. I plan to do one more chapter in which Bo confronts Dyson and they compare notes on their oracle visions, and hopefully by then my computer will be fixed.