Ginny looked out at the graduation ceremony from atop the astronomy tower. She knew this was coming, she knew she shouldn't get attached but despite what her brain said, she simply ignored the fact that this day would come. 'I should be happy,' she thought, 'Now I don't have Ron poking around in my business all the time.' Ginny tried to smiled but found she couldn't as another tear ran down her cheek, she had told Hermione she was really sorry that she couldn't be there for this but she just felt so awful and she really did but not because of the flu. Hermione had suggested that she should go to see Madame Pomfrey but Ginny said that she probably wouldn't even get seen before graduation started from all the seventh years in there getting reassured that they weren't going to be sick for their graduation. Ginger sighed as she slipped into a dreamlike state and began to softly sing a song she recalled from a store radio in Hogsmeade, it was by some muggle called Britney something, a pretty common name if you asked her. She had found a muggle station on the radio and they played the song quite often.
"Notice me take my hand why are we strangers when our love is strong why carry on without me? Everytime I try to fly I fall without my wings I feel so small I guess I need you baby and everytime I see you in my dreams I see your face, it's haunting me I guess I need you baby" Ginny sang softly to the empty tower as her tears began to stream down her face. Ginny knew that she shouldn't be this upset about her-she stopped herself, 'He was never mine'-about Harry graduating this year, she knew they wouldn't be able to keep a relationship going and she somehow doubted that he would even want to, maybe...'No, stop trying to fool yourself, you know damn well the only time you're going to see him again is in the Prophet.' Ginny stopped singing as she was consumed by her thoughts and her tears. Ginny knew he was planning to go on to be an Auror, it was only natural, after all. Ginny was planning on a trip to the States to study abroad for a while, she was sick of the magic community and wanted to get away for a while.
Ginny didn't know what to think about Harry. It was possible, very unlikely, but possible that he did love her and only wanted to keep things easier. Ginny sighed as she remembered the previous year, when she and Harry had been dating. She had been so happy and she knew him so good, his hand seemed to fit perfectly into hers, his lips seemed perfect on hers, and he seemed to fit perfectly into her life completely. He broke up with her a week later because he didn't want to lead her on since he still liked his old crush, Cho. Ginny had always loved him and even began to move on and although she wasn't able to stop loving him she was able to hide it well. Ginny began to date a kid at school named Kayl, she didn't think it would last but she kept telling herself that she loved him and she knew that he loved her and that he probably still did. She would probably still be with him if it wasn't for the night that he really scared her. She had stayed at the school for Easter break and so had he, she had gone over to his room as he was a Hufflepuff to hang out with him and his best friend, Mike. They were up in the guys' room and he playfully held her down and she was giggling and playing along when Mike pulled out a pair of cheap velcro handcuffs. She felt a little scared at the fact that Kayl wasn't telling him not to put them on her but she trusted him. Mike put the cuffs on her and she was struggling, truly scared of them for the first time. Kayl still held her down and held a shirt up to her face to keep her from yelling out. The shirt covered her mouth and her nose. She began to panic, she couldn't breath well enough and she was feeling really dizzy. Ginny could have hugged Kayl's brother for walking in when he did. She quickly got up and muttered something about having homework and cried as she walked back to her common room. She broke up with him about a week after that, she knew they didn't mean anything by it, the didn't know she was seriously freaked by it. The thing that scared her was not so much what happened but that he had the strength to hold her down without even trying. He was so much stronger that she was and it terrified her.
Ginny shivered as she remembered his eyes that day, they had looked so different. Ginny sighed as she found her tears were all dried up, she assumed that she couldn't cry anymore, she had been doing it for over 3 hours straight. She decided to sneak down to the kitchens to get some food. She walked down and asked the house elves to get her some butterbeer and a bit of popcorn with some chocolate melted over it. That was her comfort food, she knew she had weird taste in food. Ginny thought about Harry as she ate. She remembered the time over Christmas vacation, when him and Ginny both stayed at the castle but her brother's and Hermione left. She remembered opening the door to the room she shared with her roommates. She could practically feel his presence in the room as she remembered how she let him touch her. He fingered her roughly but she pretended to really enjoy it. She thought that he could love her if she let him do that. They didn't go any further because she stopped him, saying that she heard a noise in the common room. They stood and he looked at her for the longest time, she silently pleaded with her eyes for him to kiss her. He never did, he muttered a goodbye and left. She cried that night out of shame, she let him do that to her in hopes of getting his love but she didn't, he even wanted to 'hook up' with her now. She knew he wouldn't love her so she put her love in remission. She hid it well, he thought she was totally over her. Then he had to go and care when he found her crying. He had to ask what was wrong, he had to tell her she deserved better, he had to act like he loved her. She remembered then the next time she was left alone with him, it was a Hogsmeade weekend and she decided to stay in. To her surprise, so did Harry. The two talked as they sat on the couch alone since the younger students were all at a meeting with their respective houses about a few dangerous pranks that had occurred. Harry had noticed that she looked tired and he put his arm around her and said so. Ginny smiled inside and laid her head on his shoulder. She felt his other hand grip hers. She felt almost nervous as she felt his hand creep down in between her thighs. She found that this time it actually felt good. Ginny gasped as he began to masturbate her. Ginny reached over to his length, she gripped him and began to stroke and pump her hand over him. Harry leaned back, his eyes closed as he suppressed a moan of pleasure. Ginny felt him stop and she felt his hand guide hers under the waistband of his sweat pants. Ginny felt his warm skin and began to heatedly masturbate him as well. Harry was moaning and Ginny actually feared that if there was somebody upstairs they might come down and catch them and that if the meeting was over the young students would catch them. She told Harry she thought that they should stop. Harry moaned in protest but then nodded, he got up and glanced at her once before he walked up to his room. Ginny knew that she was being paranoid but she couldn't help it, she thought she really did have reason to stop. Ginny went up to her room and fell asleep right away and didn't wake until 9:00 Sunday morning. She saw Harry sitting at in a chair at the far end of the common room. He didn't even acknowledge her presence. Ginny walked up to him and he never said a word until she said good morning. Even then he merely nodded in response. Ginny knew she made a mistake by letting him do the to her again. Ginny didn't know what to do so the next day she cornered him when she found him alone in a far corner of the library. She asked him what was between them. Harry refused to look at her as he gave her some line about a fling. Ginny merely nodded, expecting as much, she refused to let him see that she was hurt. He told her that it wasn't her fault because he would try dating her again but he was to graduate in two weeks. The last thing he said to her was that it was fun while it lasted. Fun. Yeah, right, fun for him maybe, fun for her too but it created a torture that would last for a long, long time.
Ginny felt the heartache more every day. She began to cry again as she ignored the elves' cries, asking why she was crying. Ginny finally stopped again and walked out of the kitchens, leaving her food untouched, she felt sick to her stomach. Ginny felt the bile rising up in her throat. She hurried to the common room and into the bathroom and collapsed onto the toilet as she let the bile release itself from her. After she was done Ginny stood shakily and looked at her hands shaking and wondered why they shake when you get sick. Ginny got a glass of water and took small, slow sips. She rinsed her mouth and brushed her teeth as she thought about how much better she felt now that she had gotten that done and over with. Ginny slowly walked up to her room and fell asleep.
After summer, the next school year went by fast for Ginny with nothing particularly memorable. She had gotten a few boyfriends and lost her virginity to Colin Creevey who then began a rumor that she was easy. Ginny didn't care about anything anymore. She never went one day without remembering Harry and having the pangs of heartache that came with it. Before she knew it she was sitting at her own graduation, receiving her own diploma and buying her ticket to the States.
A/N: Hey! I hope you guys liked this! I think I like it because this chapter is basically my problems right now...oh well, it feels good to get this all off my chest so to speak. Please review and tell me what you think or this! Also I need to know if I should give Ginny a pet for when she moves out. I need ideas and names, I'm going to give her a small owl but I want her to have a pet, a loveable type animal, something that would suite her too. Oh, and don't worry, this does get Draco in it, I'll try to update soon! Review!!!!!!!
"Notice me take my hand why are we strangers when our love is strong why carry on without me? Everytime I try to fly I fall without my wings I feel so small I guess I need you baby and everytime I see you in my dreams I see your face, it's haunting me I guess I need you baby" Ginny sang softly to the empty tower as her tears began to stream down her face. Ginny knew that she shouldn't be this upset about her-she stopped herself, 'He was never mine'-about Harry graduating this year, she knew they wouldn't be able to keep a relationship going and she somehow doubted that he would even want to, maybe...'No, stop trying to fool yourself, you know damn well the only time you're going to see him again is in the Prophet.' Ginny stopped singing as she was consumed by her thoughts and her tears. Ginny knew he was planning to go on to be an Auror, it was only natural, after all. Ginny was planning on a trip to the States to study abroad for a while, she was sick of the magic community and wanted to get away for a while.
Ginny didn't know what to think about Harry. It was possible, very unlikely, but possible that he did love her and only wanted to keep things easier. Ginny sighed as she remembered the previous year, when she and Harry had been dating. She had been so happy and she knew him so good, his hand seemed to fit perfectly into hers, his lips seemed perfect on hers, and he seemed to fit perfectly into her life completely. He broke up with her a week later because he didn't want to lead her on since he still liked his old crush, Cho. Ginny had always loved him and even began to move on and although she wasn't able to stop loving him she was able to hide it well. Ginny began to date a kid at school named Kayl, she didn't think it would last but she kept telling herself that she loved him and she knew that he loved her and that he probably still did. She would probably still be with him if it wasn't for the night that he really scared her. She had stayed at the school for Easter break and so had he, she had gone over to his room as he was a Hufflepuff to hang out with him and his best friend, Mike. They were up in the guys' room and he playfully held her down and she was giggling and playing along when Mike pulled out a pair of cheap velcro handcuffs. She felt a little scared at the fact that Kayl wasn't telling him not to put them on her but she trusted him. Mike put the cuffs on her and she was struggling, truly scared of them for the first time. Kayl still held her down and held a shirt up to her face to keep her from yelling out. The shirt covered her mouth and her nose. She began to panic, she couldn't breath well enough and she was feeling really dizzy. Ginny could have hugged Kayl's brother for walking in when he did. She quickly got up and muttered something about having homework and cried as she walked back to her common room. She broke up with him about a week after that, she knew they didn't mean anything by it, the didn't know she was seriously freaked by it. The thing that scared her was not so much what happened but that he had the strength to hold her down without even trying. He was so much stronger that she was and it terrified her.
Ginny shivered as she remembered his eyes that day, they had looked so different. Ginny sighed as she found her tears were all dried up, she assumed that she couldn't cry anymore, she had been doing it for over 3 hours straight. She decided to sneak down to the kitchens to get some food. She walked down and asked the house elves to get her some butterbeer and a bit of popcorn with some chocolate melted over it. That was her comfort food, she knew she had weird taste in food. Ginny thought about Harry as she ate. She remembered the time over Christmas vacation, when him and Ginny both stayed at the castle but her brother's and Hermione left. She remembered opening the door to the room she shared with her roommates. She could practically feel his presence in the room as she remembered how she let him touch her. He fingered her roughly but she pretended to really enjoy it. She thought that he could love her if she let him do that. They didn't go any further because she stopped him, saying that she heard a noise in the common room. They stood and he looked at her for the longest time, she silently pleaded with her eyes for him to kiss her. He never did, he muttered a goodbye and left. She cried that night out of shame, she let him do that to her in hopes of getting his love but she didn't, he even wanted to 'hook up' with her now. She knew he wouldn't love her so she put her love in remission. She hid it well, he thought she was totally over her. Then he had to go and care when he found her crying. He had to ask what was wrong, he had to tell her she deserved better, he had to act like he loved her. She remembered then the next time she was left alone with him, it was a Hogsmeade weekend and she decided to stay in. To her surprise, so did Harry. The two talked as they sat on the couch alone since the younger students were all at a meeting with their respective houses about a few dangerous pranks that had occurred. Harry had noticed that she looked tired and he put his arm around her and said so. Ginny smiled inside and laid her head on his shoulder. She felt his other hand grip hers. She felt almost nervous as she felt his hand creep down in between her thighs. She found that this time it actually felt good. Ginny gasped as he began to masturbate her. Ginny reached over to his length, she gripped him and began to stroke and pump her hand over him. Harry leaned back, his eyes closed as he suppressed a moan of pleasure. Ginny felt him stop and she felt his hand guide hers under the waistband of his sweat pants. Ginny felt his warm skin and began to heatedly masturbate him as well. Harry was moaning and Ginny actually feared that if there was somebody upstairs they might come down and catch them and that if the meeting was over the young students would catch them. She told Harry she thought that they should stop. Harry moaned in protest but then nodded, he got up and glanced at her once before he walked up to his room. Ginny knew that she was being paranoid but she couldn't help it, she thought she really did have reason to stop. Ginny went up to her room and fell asleep right away and didn't wake until 9:00 Sunday morning. She saw Harry sitting at in a chair at the far end of the common room. He didn't even acknowledge her presence. Ginny walked up to him and he never said a word until she said good morning. Even then he merely nodded in response. Ginny knew she made a mistake by letting him do the to her again. Ginny didn't know what to do so the next day she cornered him when she found him alone in a far corner of the library. She asked him what was between them. Harry refused to look at her as he gave her some line about a fling. Ginny merely nodded, expecting as much, she refused to let him see that she was hurt. He told her that it wasn't her fault because he would try dating her again but he was to graduate in two weeks. The last thing he said to her was that it was fun while it lasted. Fun. Yeah, right, fun for him maybe, fun for her too but it created a torture that would last for a long, long time.
Ginny felt the heartache more every day. She began to cry again as she ignored the elves' cries, asking why she was crying. Ginny finally stopped again and walked out of the kitchens, leaving her food untouched, she felt sick to her stomach. Ginny felt the bile rising up in her throat. She hurried to the common room and into the bathroom and collapsed onto the toilet as she let the bile release itself from her. After she was done Ginny stood shakily and looked at her hands shaking and wondered why they shake when you get sick. Ginny got a glass of water and took small, slow sips. She rinsed her mouth and brushed her teeth as she thought about how much better she felt now that she had gotten that done and over with. Ginny slowly walked up to her room and fell asleep.
After summer, the next school year went by fast for Ginny with nothing particularly memorable. She had gotten a few boyfriends and lost her virginity to Colin Creevey who then began a rumor that she was easy. Ginny didn't care about anything anymore. She never went one day without remembering Harry and having the pangs of heartache that came with it. Before she knew it she was sitting at her own graduation, receiving her own diploma and buying her ticket to the States.
A/N: Hey! I hope you guys liked this! I think I like it because this chapter is basically my problems right now...oh well, it feels good to get this all off my chest so to speak. Please review and tell me what you think or this! Also I need to know if I should give Ginny a pet for when she moves out. I need ideas and names, I'm going to give her a small owl but I want her to have a pet, a loveable type animal, something that would suite her too. Oh, and don't worry, this does get Draco in it, I'll try to update soon! Review!!!!!!!