A Broken Heart Can Never Be Fixed

Today, my heart was broken, and ironically, eight days before Valentine's Day :'(. So I wrote this to express my sorrow and hurt. All the events in this are true, but I'm using different names and stuff. This doesn't particularly have to do with marching band, but band in general. I need to get this out, and I want you guys to share my misery if you can relate to it. Who knew Facebook could be the cause of a broken heart?

1st Person P.O.V.

My stand partner in band, Patrick, is a really nice, friendly guy. He may be a bit harsh when you first meet him (ignores you, won't be nice, etc.) but eventually, when he gets to know you, he's the nicest person ever.

It was like that for me last semester. It took us about a month to finally say something to each other. I was as stubborn as he was, so I wasn't about to talk first. He was the first to talk, and I smirked to myself.

We started out by talking about the music we're playing and what to mark in our music, but eventually, we talked about normal stuff, like what we did, funny stories, and stuff like that. Patrick has a twin brother, Nate, and I currently sit next to him in band.

Also, we started greeting each other when we got to band and after school when we were at our band lockers. He'd ask how school was, and we'd go from there, telling our adventures from school. I really liked Patrick. He was for real, and he was very easy to relate to.

One day, I forgot to get my music folder from my backpack, and my band director had told us to put our stuff on the other side of the room near percussion stuff sow there can be room in the aisles. Well, we were collecting music that day, and my music was in my folder.

I was afraid to get up in front of the whole band and walk up the stairs in the middle of the band room, scoot past percussion people, and retrieve my folder. I was afraid that I'd knock something or someone over.

Brent, my brother's stand partner (who's a jerk) told me in a harsh voice to go get my music. He obviously didn't understand my fear. Finally, after seeing my fear, Patrick asked what color my backpack was. After I told him, he got up in front of everyone, and retrieved my folder.

Instead of making fun of me, he teased me about my folder all ripped up playfully. I was grateful for his kindness, and that was the day that I, a freshman, fell in love with Patrick, a sophomore. We both play clarinet.

All we did from there was become better friends, and my likeness of him grew. Unfortunately, we changed chairs the next semester. I moved up to 6th chair, and Patrick moved down to 11th chair. His twin, Nate, is 7th chair, so I'm his stand partner. Also, Brent forgot his folder, and his backpack was on the other side of the room as well, and he was afraid to get it.

I told him

"You were making me get mine, so now it's your turn."

He ended up getting up in front of everybody and retrieving his folder. That was a good dose of karma that came his way.

Patrick and I continued to talk after band and after school, even though we don't sit next to each other anymore. I was glad that he was still willing to talk to me even when I don't see him much.

Then, today, February 6, 2011, I went on Facebook to check my inbox, notifications, and chat with people. Patrick got a new profile picture, so I went to check it out. When I got to his wall, I saw a word that mad my heart turn cold and my face fall. Married. Then I read the name of who he goes out with. Her picture was on his wall, and she is pretty.

That made me want to go in a hole and die. I should have known that Patrick wouldn't want to be with a freshman. Most sophomores at my high school don't want to have anything to do with freshmen, and some of them are jerkish to freshmen (Brent is a sophomore. Go figure). But, I led myself to believe that maybe a sophomore that I truly like would return feelings for a freshman, but I was proved wrong.

I know I won't get comfort from my family. They'll tell me to suck it up. I know I won't get comfort from my friends. They'll start asking me all of these questions about why I like Patrick and who was he, blah, blah, blah.

Never again will I have a crush on a sophomore my freshman year. Never again will I have a crush on a stand partner. Never again will I fall in love with someone in band. And never again will I fall in love with Patrick.