Please Read

These will be reserved mostly for spoiler and trigger warnings. I'll put an occasional message here, but try to keep it short so as to not break the flow of the story. Updates from me will be on my profile page. Always assume spoilers for the 2012 Avengers film. If the trigger is in the MCU, assume it is here (I won't write much detail for death, gore, extreme violence, etc.).

Trigger Warnings: anxiety/panic attack

The cold is what stirs me to consciousness. My groggy mind reasons that I must have kicked my blanket off during the night. Ugh. I'm beat, but it's too bright. I should get up. I should layer a bunch of curtains again is what I should I do.

This little debate melts away some of the sleep fog, and I realize my pillow is missing. Also, why does my lumpy old mattress feel smooth and cold? My eyes shoot open as panic begins to wash over me. Bright room, glass floor, men's boots — wait! Boots means person! I quickly sit up to find —

Oh crap. Oh no, no no no! My chest seizes up, my heart begins to race. I feel myself losing rationality, something I am clearly going to need. "P-please excuse me, Your Highness," I stutter out, body trembling. That's how you address a prince, right? "I— I need to get past this panic attack." Yes, that's what this is. I close my eyes. In other words, this is trouble.

No, stop thinking like that! Breathe! In, and out. In, . . . out. You need to be rational.

Thank goodness I'm not crying. That would be bad. That would be very bad with him.

Think. Be rational. Brain, work!

Deep breath. Okay, . . . okay. The trains are moving again. What's the game plan? He can see through lying, which you suck at anyway. Honesty is the best policy. Full honesty? Full disclosure could be bad. Manipulative honesty, then. Yeah, that works. Now, timeline. Glass cage means after Germany, but before the helicarrier craziness. Crazy guy in front of me. Is he sane? Dangerous for sure. And I haven't had breakfast. Hypoglycemia is going to take its toll soon.

Silent prayer.

I need to get out. Don't offend, but don't kiss up. Breathe in, . . . and out.

I open eyes. He is still staring at me. He looks . . . slightly amused? I get up slowly, fighting weak knees and the general shakiness that has taken over my whole body. His face is . . . intense. That's okay, you're good at looking away, and it may be taken as respectful. Respect is good. Deep breath in, . . . and out.

"My apologies again, Your Highness." I didn't stutter this time, but my voice is still wavering. "Those happen sometimes, but I think I'm mostly through it."

"Your Highness?" He quirks a brow.

"Is that not the correct title? As an American, I don't really know these things. If something else is more appropriate—"

He waves a hand. "It is fine. Why the title?"

"Well, Your Highness, you are a prince, twice-over." Crap! Not common knowledge!

He leans forward. "And you know this how?"

I attempt to back away, only to find myself against the wall after my first step."That's . . . difficult to say — Um, Director Fury?" I address the man I know must be listening by now, but keep my attention on the towering threat in front of me. "Would you mind getting me out of here?"

Loki steps closer. "You fear me."

I give a small nod. "Please?" I plead with the air. Maybe they think I'm a trick? "My name is Paige Katherine Bauer. I was born on June 20th, 1997." I begin to rattle off information. "I attend Brigham Young University. I—" Shut up! Any more and he might go after your family! Actually, that was probably enough for him to find them already.

The speakers come to life what feels like ages later. "No such person exists." Where are the speak— Oh crap, I need to get out of here and help my family!

Wait, what? "I assure you, I'm real."

"There is no proof of that as of yet."

"I know his plan!" I didn't even think; the words just tumbled out of my mouth. Oh, panic-brain is making mistakes!

"If you haven't noticed, they caught me." He is awfully close. This is not a good time for my personal bubble to be invaded.

It's okay. They think they foiled his plan. No, wait, they send in Black Widow because they think he is planning something. I shift uneasily.

"Would you mind enlightening us, then?" the disembodied voice asks. I think it's finally Fury.

No, then he could change the plan. The plan as-is can be defeated, if barely. Any changes and who knows? But I can't just say that, not with him here. I shouldn't have said anything to begin with.

"Release me first," I say slowly, almost choking on my words.

"Do you know the stakes here?"

"I do."

"Then be a dear and take one for team Earth."

I summon what little courage I have an reply with one small, quiet word: "No."

My pathetic refusal is met with obscenities; I'm definitely talking to Director Fury now. "You would risk the human race for your personal safety?" he growls. I remain silent. The only hope my family has is if the plot continues. Is my family even here? It doesn't matter; others are. To answer their question: no.

But I would risk my life for the human race.

Loki backs away, chuckling under his breath. I don't know what's going to happen to me now, but the possibilities are bleak. My knees buckle. I slide along the glass wall of the cage until I am on the floor, knees up to my chest. I close my eyes and steady my breathing again.

No more impulsiveness. No more mistakes. Everything from now on has to be carefully calculated with all likely consequences taken into account.

The time for fear is over. Fear is for self-preservation. Self-preservation is no longer the issue at hand. But I need to still play the part. He will see through my poor acting, so I will have to play on my natural responses. Ambiguity will be the key to tricking the Trickster.

I glance up at said man. His posture reads cool, collected, and in-control, but he is very obviously watching me out of the corner of his eye. I wonder what his master thinks of me or if he even knows of me, and then it clicks, causing a wave of tumblr to crash into my thoughts.

He was not acting alone.

To what degree is he acting of his own free will? If that one theory is correct, he is making Earth look strong using a weak invasion. No, not likely. There's no motivation for that. There's little for this scheme in general. He must be forced, mind-controlled, or having his emotions manipulated; it could be an all-of-the-above case.

I begin to study Loki carefully while he observes me. He certainly doesn't look very healthy. Okay, ill treatment by the chitauri: check. Eye color? Though not as bright, it's definitely mind control blue.

Hm, but he has a strong mind. Time for interrogation.

"You don't have to do this, Your Highness." A cliche, sure, but the ambiguity and mention of necessity could make his response helpful. That is, if I could read even normal people, let alone the god of lies. Maybe Black Widow will pick up on something.

He glares. "Do not suppose to know the things of gods, mortal," he spits. Loki doesn't see himself as a god, though; at least, not in Thor: The Dark World. One more test then.

Near-terror forces my question into a whisper. "What would your mother say?"

That elicits some very nasty words. Nope, Loki would never, in any state of mind, say such horrid things of Frigga. Deny her as being his mother? Yes. Throw some accusations of bad parenting? Maybe. Use those crude and vulgar words in reference to her? Never.

I throw my hands up, palms out, fear of using that line justified. "I'm sorry, Your Highness. I was just trying to do my duty as a Midgardian." True enough. "I'll stop now." I've managed to find out what I need to know.

"If you wish to do your duty as a Midgardian, tell everyone the details of my plot."

"I would rather not."

"You are a coward."

That's fairly accurate. I shrug. "I have other priorities."

We sit in silence for a time, which suits me just fine. I take the time to think through the plots of what I had seen of the Marvel Cinematic Universe and determine risks of different interferences on my part.

—

Oh my gosh, can he stop pacing? For just one minute? I mean, at least he's done staring at me, but come one. You're not the only one antsy for things to progress here, Loki. Ugh, I must have shown up in the middle of the night, because I feel like I haven't slept, and I'm so cranky, but goodness, just chill for a moment.

Suddenly the light footsteps stop. I turn to find Agent Romanoff outside the cell.

"There's not many people that can sneak up on me," Loki says, turning to see our guest.

"But you figured I'd come."

"After. After whatever tortures Fury can concoct, you would appear as a friend, as a balm. And I would cooperate." I try not to wince at Loki's mention of torture.

Natasha nods in my direction. "And so you summoned your own company."

Loki snorts. I snap out of my trance — an actual movie scene is playing out before me — and remember that I can't interfere. I turn my back to the conversation and rest my head on my knees, determined to reveal nothing.

"Only the weak fear solitude. Besides, the little mouse is not very entertaining." Yup, I'm a mouse. Don't mind me.

"I want to know what you've done to Agent Barton." Good, she's ignoring me now.

I tune them out, not wanting to react to anything said. This works until Loki's tone suddenly becomes angered. "This is the basest sentimentality. This is a child at prayer . . . pathetic!" I don't know, my prayers are part of what's keeping me going right now. I focus on another prayer, only to have my thoughts interrupted as Loki slams the cell wall. "I won't touch Barton. Not until I make him kill you! Slowly. Intimately. In every he knows you fear! And when he'll wake just long enough to see his good work, and when he screams, I'll split his skull! This is my bargain, you mewling quim!" I shudder at the sincerity in his voice.

"You're a monster," I hear Romanoff say quietly.

Loki gives a broken, twisted laugh. "No, you brought the monster."

"So, Banner . . . that's your play," she responds calmly, all confidence once more.

"What?"

"Loki means to unleash the Hulk. Keep Banner in the lab; I'm on my way. Send Thor as well. . . . Thank you for your cooperation." I wait a minute after I hear her quickly exit the room, then I stand up and stretch a bit.

"What are you preparing for, child?"

"Chaos, Your Highness."

He chuckles. "Perhaps you can be entertaining. Do you really believe you can even hope to prepare for what is coming?"

"Your Highness, my hope is the only real preparation I have."

He smirks wide, toothy, and manic. "Everyone should take notes from you."

I bow my head. "Thank you, Your Highness."

An explosion shakes the helicarrier. I lose my footing and tumble into Loki. I'm surprised that he catches me, but when I right myself I find his grin has somehow grown and become even more manic. My blood runs cold. All I can think is that Loki definitely has ice powers. I try to step back, but my arms are locked in his iron grip.

"You will be leaving with me." My eyes go wide. "Be grateful, mortal; my side is the safest place you can be, granted you don't displease me." I nod. "Good. In exchange, I expect you to stay quiet and not interfere. You will give absolute obedience willingly, or else join Agent Barton." I nod again. He releases me and chuckles.

Distant chaos is a strange thing. I can feel the ship swaying and hear the Hulk's muffled roars, but this room is calm.

Perhaps 'calm' isn't the best word, because it is charged with anticipation, but nothing happens until three turned agents rush in with Loki's scepter and open the door for us. Loki grabs my upper arm and roughly pulls me out behind him.

"Thor will come to stop me." It's a statement, but he looks to me for some sort of confirmation. I simply nod. "Do not interfere." I nod again. He waves the agents off while guiding us to the controls to lie in wait. As he crafts his illusionary self, he shifts so that he is clutching me close to him, covering my mouth with one hand and gripping the weapon in the other.

When Thor enters, I bite my lip to keep from acting. "No!" he yells and runs through the fake-Loki breaking out of the cell.

Loki reveals us and taps the 'close' button with the tip of the scepter. "Are you ever not going to fall for that?" Honestly, I can't disagree. Thor should know Loki's favorite tricks after a few centuries.

I think I'm in shock? I'm taking this pretty well. "The humans think us immortal. Should we test that?" Maybe it's not shock; maybe it's because I know Thor should be okay. So I ignore his rage and take a deep breath as he attempts to break out using Mjolnir.

Then I hear his voice. "Move away, please."

But Loki had already dragged us away, leaving an illusion in our place. During his monologue, we move behind him.

I can't breathe. I'm not in shock, nope. I am perfectly aware of what is happening and what is about to happen. As we get into range behind Coulson, I act on an impulse that has never failed to get me out of this hold.

I lick Loki's hand.

"What the—?" He drops his hand. Agent Coulson whips around, but Loki's reflexes are faster. He slashes into the agent's side, then uses the staff part to knock him into the wall. Coulson's head collides with the metal, knocking him out cold.

In the same motion, Loki shoves me to the ground, then steps on my shoulder, pressing the tip of the scepter into my back.

"Try that again, and you will know the true meaning of regret, mortal," he hisses. I'm then roughly pulled back up by my shirt collar. He stomps over to the control panel and drops his brother into the sky. The only help I can offer is a silent prayer.

"It won't happen again, Your Highness," I cough out. I stare at the floor, unable to look at either the agent Coulson killed or the possibly dying Coulson against the wall.

A cold hand jerks my head in the former agent's direction. "Get used to it," Loki whispers into my ear. "War is not without casualties." I nod silently. And I remain silent as he practically drags me through the maze of the helicarrier until we reach our ride.

—

I sit dutifully in my seat as the plane speeds away from the damaged helicarrier. The initial escape was an . . . interesting flight. Okay, my blood sugar is low and the piloting of this thing is not helping my dizziness. "Your Highness?" I call out weakly, my head in my hands.

"What is it?" he grumbles.

"You said I could be useful."

"And?"

"I'm hypoglycemic. If I don't eat soon, I will pass out." Seriously, has this guy ever piloted one of these before?

"Your point being?" Loki says exasperatedly.

"I doubt I'll be very useful while unconscious, Your Highness. I would imagine that if anything, I would be in the way." He must agree, because the agent piloting the plane tosses a pack of trail mix at me. I — of course — fail to catch it, earning a scoff from Loki.

I pick the packet up from where it landed next to me and proceed to fumble with the packaging, trying to blink away the dizziness. I feel much better a few minutes after my snack. However, my head is not quite up to more plot line exploration. I had planned sufficiently to handle the rest of the day, anyway. I wish I could just take a nap, but that simply is not going to happen.

—

I hold my breath through sounds of crashing. "Puny god," a large voice says. I stay as still as possible until I'm sure Hulk has left. I take a small breath and cautiously peek out from my hiding spot. The coast is clear.

I take a deep breath and slowly approach Loki where he lies in the floor crater. As I peer down at him, he opens his eyes. I watch as they switch between green and blue. Uh-oh. Isn't he supposed to snap out of it at this point? What do I do? I say a silent prayer.

"Hey, um, Loki? Loki, snap out of it. You can beat him. Come back to yourself." His eyes stay blue for a few moments. "Loki?" This is a big problem. "Jarvis? What's the status on the portal?"

"It is in the process of being shut down."

"Keep me updated, okay?"

I encourage Loki to fight the mind control. There are a few moments when he is himself and looks at me confusedly.

Jarvis speaks up, "The chitauri ship has been destroyed."

Loki clutches his head and his eyes go back to blue. "No!" he yells and starts to push himself back up.

Nuh uh. "Loki, you are stronger than him! Push him out!" This is unacceptable. "I swear to God, you purple piece of shit, if you don't let him go right now, I will assemble the armies of the nine realms and personally shove you into the most remote corner of the universe where not even the sweet embrace of Death can give you any respite!"

With a groan, Loki falls to the ground. I kneel beside him. "Loki? Loki, are you okay?" He is in frost giant form and has dropped all illusions hiding his wounded state. "Jarvis? Please contact SHIELD and ask for a medevac."

"I'll do my best to explain the situation."

"Thank you, Jarvis. And don't worry about Stark; he'll be alright."

—

"Oh my god, she's real," Stark mumbles.

"Why is Loki blue?" Captain Rogers asks.

Thor rushes toward Loki and moves to pick him up. "Don't move him!" I beg. He stares at me, as if just now noticing my presence. "He's too hurt. We need to wait for paramedics."

"How did this happen? Did we . . . ?" he asks.

My eyes trail away. "No. Loki has a strong mind. It took a lot of torture control him." I hear some gasps. "Loki was tortured and mind-controlled. His actions were not his own," I clarify, now finally able to reveal the truth.

"How do we know to believe you?"

I don't look up. "Asgardians are raised to fear and despise Jotuns as inferior monsters. Loki would never show his frost giant self like this." I see Thor nod solemnly in my peripheral. "Also, his eyes have been mind-control blue like Agent Barton's were. Loki's eyes are green."

"I . . . I didn't even notice," Thor mumbles.

"So if Loki wasn't leading the attack, who was?"

"Don't worry; this battle is over. The bigger bad shouldn't attack Earth again for some time yet."

"And this big bad is?"

" . . . Well, he already knows I know of his hand in this. He is a powerful being, an insane Titan called Thanos."

Thor coughs. "Tha-Thanos? Are you sure?"

"Positive. I'll brief everyone once we get back to, um, wherever. I need to speak to Fury." I frown down at the still form in front of me before looking back up. "Please, I . . . is Coulson . . . ?"

"He is in critical condition, but has a decent chance of pulling through."

I sigh in relief, then jump a little as I feel a hand on my shoulder. I turn to see Agent Romanoff kneeling beside me. "Come, let's get you something to eat. You've had a long day."

I shake my head. "I stay by Loki's side. Once we're picked up, you should all go get your shwarma. I assure you, you have nothing to worry about from either of us. I will explain things once we are with Fury. And Loki is . . . . I don't think he'll be capable of much for awhile."

Thor grabs my wrist before I can check Loki's pulse for probably the twentieth time. "Don't! Jotun skin—"

"I know, but it hasn't been. I'm worried. I don't know if it's because he wasn't raised on Jotunheim, but I fear it's because is so weak or because he is drained of his magic. He really struggled to reclaim his mind."