Disclaimer: Not mine but I did ask for it for christmas so we'll see :P
Just a bunch of silliness I wrote up for the holidays
Hope you'll enjoy reading it as much as I did writing it.
Beware the errors I didn't find.
Mistletoe II
Here it was again, the time of year when everybody (and I mean everybody) was trying to get him and a certain major under a mistletoe. The first year he thought it was just an other prank. The second year he found it more awkward than anything else. The third year, he realized, either people really liked playing the same prank over and over again, or they were all trying to send him a message. But when the same thing happened the fourth year, he had almost kissed her. That is, before the words 'court martial' decided to make an appearance in his mind. Darn them.
This year he was determined to completely avoid the always awkward situation. So far, everything was going according to plan. He hadn't seen Sam in what felt like forever if he was being honest with himself. Only problem was he wasn't being honest and instead he decided to count the remanning time before this torture was two days, five hours and 14 minutes to go before their Christmas vacation. He was going to go nuts.
Jack was avoiding her. She had a pretty fair idea why since she was avoiding him for the same reasons. She hadn't failed to notice how people always seemed to fell like playing matchmaker this time of the year, especially with the 'impossible couple', as they had been officially called by various SGC personnel. You would think they would have given up by now. Worst wet, they seemed to be getting more and more determined every year. She just hoped that this year she could succeed at avoiding the mistletoe. Hopefully she wouldn't go insane before then...
Daniel was frustrated. No matter what he tried, they would see right threw is plan and wouldn't go anywhere near where he had planted his mistletoe. In fact, this morning, while he was setting his 'trap', he noticed that somebody had already beaten him to it. That's when Daniel got his brilliant idea. All he needed now was a few more recruits. He walked strait to the mess hopping to find a few volunteers. He wasn't surprised when he found a group of 'shippers' having coffee and complaining about their own failed attempts at the mistletoe mission.
"They're actually going as far as completely avoiding each other." He heard Walter say.
"No kidding, they're like kids locking themselves in their rooms." Janet said.
"They have indeed updated their evasion techniques." Teal'c said.
"Which is why we need a new plan." Daniel interrupted them. "I have an idea."
Everybody looked expectantly at the archeologist. Daniel proudly explained his idea.
"That's genius." One of the nurses said once Daniel finished.
"Indeed." Teal'c said.
"If this doesn't work, nothing will." Siler said.
"Alright, you all know what to do. Let's have everything ready in an hour." Daniel said, breaking up the meeting. He hoped his plan would work for once.
Almost an hour latter, Janet went to find Sam in her lab.
"Hey." She said.
"Hey Janet." Sam answered looking up from a device she had been working on.
"What's that?" Janet aimed for a safe subject.
"The device sg-4 brought back from P2X-314. It seems to be some sort of power source." Sam said, taking a moment to rub her tired eyes.
"You look drained. When's the last time you ate?"
"...Today." Sam said uncertain.
"Thought so. Come on, let's go to the mess." Janet said using her best doctor voice.
"I guess I could use a break." Sam said after checking the time. Two in the afternoon. Jack was probably doing paperwork in his office, which he would deny knowing about time and time again. Figuring it was safe, she got up from her seat and followed Janet to the commissary.
Janet did her best not to smile too much, so far their plan was working.
"O'Neill. I require you're assistance." Teal'c said.
"I'm a little busy T." Jack said, slightly grumpy.
"It concerns the strange cakes in the commissary." Teal'c went on.
"The christmas cakes?" Jack asked concerned.
Teal'c raised his eyebrow.
"The cakes with the weird fruity stuff in them." Jack clarified.
"Indeed. They have replaced the common sugary sustenance."
"And you want me to help you do what exactly?"
"I believe the commissary personnel are concealing the normal food."
"Again, what do you want me to do?"
"I believe they would be more easily persuaded to give the location of the cakes to a superior officer."
Jack blinked at Teal'c for a moment. "What type of cake?" He asked.
"The ones containing various types of chocolate."
"Alright, I'm in." Jack said. Besides, Sam wouldn't be anywhere other than her lab at this time of the day. It was probably safe to go to the mess. He followed Teal'c out the door and down the hall. No little green bushes on the ceiling, no Sam in view and no... oh crap! When they turned the corner they were face to face with Sam and Janet.
"I got to...", "I should..." Both Sam and Jack said trying to escape the now obvious trap. But when they both turned around, they were surprised to find the hallways blocked by a great number of personnel. Before they knew it, they were both being grabbed and dragged into the nearby supply closet.
"Crap." Jack said before they were both practically tossed in the closet and having the door locked behind them.
"Double crap." Sam said when she noticed the ceiling was completely covered with mistletoes and that the only light available was from a few candles a little everywhere around the room. Not to mention the fact that the light bulbs where all conveniently missing.
"Great." Sam said in a low voice. Meanwhile Jack was banging on the door demanding somebody to unlock it. Realizing it was hopeless, he turned to Sam.
"Any chance you can get this open?" he asked.
"Not from in here, there's only a lock on the other side."
"Peachy." He mumbled before going back to yelling at whoever might be on the other side of the door.
"Give it up Jack." They heard Daniel's voice. It was coming from a radio on a table next to the door. Jack picked it up.
"Daniel. Get us out of here now." Jack ordered, barking into the radio.
"No problem, glad too. Once you and Sam work things out."
"Daniel I swear..." Jack started to yell again.
"Have fun." Daniel said, effectively ending the conversation and turning off his radio.
"I don't believe believe this." Jack grumbled.
"They can't keep us in here forever." Sam reassured him. "Eventually general Hammond will realize we're missing and will ask questions."
"You're assuming he wasn't in on this."
"Do you really think he would be?"
Jack sighed. "No."
"So I guess we wait it out." Sam said sitting down on the floor.
"I guess." Jack said sitting down next to her. That's when the song Kiss the girl started to play seemingly out of no where. Sam closed her eyes. Why her? She wondered.
"Carter?" Jack asked.
"Sir."
"Since when are there intercoms in the storage closets?"
"Good question sir."
"You wouldn't have a gun so I could... incapacitate it."
"Sorry sir."
Jack picked up the radio he had earlier dismissed and threw it at the com. The music continued playing.
"I'm going to kill whoever came up with this."
"I'll help you sir."
A few hours had passed and they were still stuck in the closet. Jack had tried throwing other object at the intercom but it was like the thing had a shield around it. And was it just him or was the music getting louder every time? Sam was so bored that she counted the mistletoe's on the ceiling and was wondering where they had all came from and how long it took to put then all there. She noticed that one of then seemed to be shinning.
"Daniel!" Jack tried the radio again.
"Yes Jack." Daniel answer far to happily.
"Open the dam door now."
"Sure no problem."
"Finally!"
"After you've kissed."
"Dam it Daniel!" Jack yelled and then got an idea. He waited a few seconds before speaking again. "Ok we kissed, now open the door."
"Nice try Jack." Daniel said before once again cutting the connection.
"How'd he know?" Jack asked.
"I'm guessing that there's a camera there." Sam said, pointing to the mistletoe she saw shinning before.
"Doh! They really thought of everything."
"Yes sir." Sam said. "I think it's to assume General Hammond knows about this."
"What makes you say that?"
"Because he would have realized by now that we're 'missing'."
"Ok, So?"
"So, if he hasn't put a stop to it then..."
"Then he's ok with... this."
Sam nodded.
"Well in that case." Jack said before pulling Sam closer to him and kissing her like he did in the time loop. Once Sam had gotten over the initial shock she kissed him back. They were so caught up in the moment that neither realized that the door was now open and that half the base was now looking at then and that some had cameras. It was only when the need for air was too big that they realized what was going on and quickly jumped apart, both blushing. Everybody was cheering and clapping.
"Four hours and twenty three minutes." Daniel stated. "I didn't know you would last that long."
"Daniel, if this was your idea,I swear..." Jack was interrupted when he noticed that Hammond was coming. Oh ho, maybe he wasn't in on it and... oh no. Jack thought.
"Don't say anything you might regret colonel, after all doctor Jackson is the one responsible for this." Hammond said handing Jack a letter. Jack looked at it suspiciously before taking it and reading it.
By order of the president blah blah blah... New rules... blah blah... no more frat regs in the SGC... Blah bl- Hold on, what! Seriously!
Jack read it over a third time and the words had remained unchanged. He could feel ratter than see that Sam was now reading it too wondering what had him so shocked.
"Sir is this for real?" Sam asked Hammond. Right, that's the words Jack was looking for.
"I assure you it is. I suggest you both take the next week of." Hammond said smiling. Having said all he needed to, he left and was soon enough everybody else was doing the same.
Jack still couldn't believe it. "Ok, just hold on a minute... This was your idea?" Jack asked Daniel.
Daniel looked slightly scared.
"Indeed it was." Teal'c said.
"And instead of just telling us you decided to do this?"
"huuu, well... we sort of started to feel bad and went to see Hammond and so he called the president and apparently he had already done all the paperwork and was just waiting for the good time to send it."
"What!" Jack and Sam both exclaimed.
"Yeah, the only condition was that you would kiss first so..."
Sam and Jack stared hat him blankly...
"Guess we should have done it a long time ago." Jack dwelled.
Daniel shrugged. "What do you think we were trying to do?" He said before leaving with Teal'c, leaving a dumbfounded Sam and Jack alone in the corridor.
"So..." Sam said.
"Wanna go back in the closet?" Jack asked.
Sam grinned.
They weren't seen again until a few hours later.