Author's Note: This story takes place five years after the end of Full House. If the show hadn't been cancelled, this would be season thirteen, from 1999 to 2000. I can only presume they would have had some good episodes about Y2K.

The Tanner Household was in an uproar, when Danny told the family the good news.

"Dad!" Stephanie complained. "How could you buy her a car? She doesn't even have a license yet!"

"When I got my license, I had to wait two years before I got a car!" DJ said. "And even then, I got a used car, not a new one!"

Danny Tanner didn't understand why his daughters were upset. "Michelle has been a very good girl recently," he said.

"That's right," Michelle said, proudly. Nothing could spoil her mood, not with the brand new convertible sitting pretty on the driveway.

"You know, Danny, I'm inclined to agree with Stephanie and DJ," Aunt Becky said. "Where'd you get the money for a new car?"

"Can we get a car, too, Mommy?" asked one of the twins.

Joey spoke up, sensing an opportunity to use one of his hilarious cartoon character impersonations. "Well, kids, as my old pal Bullwinkle would say, Life isn't always a—"

"Joe, the Bullwinkle show was cancelled in the 60's," Uncle Jesse interrupted. "Nicky and Alex have no idea who he is."

"Well, I'll be blowed!" Joey said, using his Popeye voice. When nobody laughed, he frowned slightly. Why weren't people amused by his outdated comedy routines?

In the meantime, Michelle got the feeling that she was no longer the center of attention. This was a situation she could not allow to continue, so she slapped the table and rolled her eyes at Stephanie. "You're just jealous of my new car!" she said.

"No, I'm angry because you don't deserve it!" Stephanie said. "Dad always gives you everything you want! Clothes, a cell phone, your own computer, and now a car!"

"It's true, Dad," DJ said. "You spoil Michelle rotten! She gets away with everything!"

"That's not true," Danny said. "I love all you girls equally. I just show my love in different ways."

"Oh, really?" Stephanie asked. "When's the last time you got something for me, then?"

"Easy," Danny said. "I got you that bottle of cleaning detergent, just last month."

"Danny, you got that for yourself," Aunt Becky said.

"Oh, right," Danny said. "Well, then, I...um...I...what about last week, when I took everyone to dinner? I gave up Fishstick Friday, just for you!"

"Dad, your company paid for that meal," DJ said. "You didn't spend a dime."

"It still counts as a nice family dinner," Danny said. "And frankly, I'm astonished that my daughters are being so greedy. There's more to life than owning things."

"Says the man who just bought a new convertible for a fourteen-year-old," Uncle Jesse muttered.

"It's not just for Michelle!" Danny said. "Everyone in the house can borrow it."

"Yeah, thanks, but I don't want to be cruising around the neighborhood in a car that's painted hot pink," Joey said. "It might ruin my chances with the ladies."

"You ruin your chances with the ladies," Uncle Jesse said.

"Besides, it's my car," Michelle said. "You need to ask permission if you want to drive it."

Stephanie groaned. "Back me up here, Deej! Dad's totally spoiling her!"

"It's true," DJ said. "Dad, you always give Michelle anything she wants."

Danny nodded seriously. "I think I know what the problem is, girls. You don't know how to respect your sister's property."

"That's not it!" Stephanie said. "Just forget about it!"

Stephanie marched out of the room angrily. One person in the studio audience made a sympathetic noise.

"What's her problem?" Michelle asked.

Everyone in the studio audience laughed uproariously. One man laughed so hard that he had to be rushed to the hospital.

Stephanie marched upstairs to the room she shared with DJ. To be honest, it was actually a closet. Michelle took over DJ's room when DJ went to college, and by the time DJ returned, Michelle had taken over Stephanie's room as well.

DJ soon appeared. "Steph, are you okay?" she asked.

Stephanie wiped away a small tear. "Everyone cares more about Michelle than me," she said. "Remember when I got stood up at junior prom? Everyone ignored me, because Michelle had a book report to write."

"I know," DJ said. "Some weeks, it feels like I only get to say one sentence, before people stop paying attention to me. It's like we're secondary characters on the Michelle Tanner show."

"No one's going to miss me when I go to college," Stephanie said. "I'm surprised you even bothered to come back here."

"Well, what was I supposed to do?" DJ asked, sitting on her bed. "All of my friends abandoned me! Steve and Kimmy ran away to get married!"

"I always knew there was something wrong with him," Stephanie commented. "I still can't believe the Gobbler and Gibbler got together. It's like something out of a nightmare."

"My life is a nightmare," DJ said. "I'm in my twenties, and my little sister still controls everything. It's ridiculous."

"Yeah..." Stephanie said. "I wish there was something we could do. Something like..."

Stephanie grinned widely.

"What?" DJ asked.

"I just got the perfect idea," Stephanie said.

The next day, the family was having lunch together, when Michelle ran into the kitchen, crying.

"Daddy! Daddy!" she said. "Someone destroyed my car!"

"What?" Danny asked.

"They broke all the windows and dumped paint all over it!" Michelle said.

"Oh no, Michelle, that's terrible!" Joey said.

"Who would destroy a brand new convertible?" Aunt Becky asked.

Uncle Jesse came into the room, looking solemn. "The police think it was either a gang or some drunk college kids," he said. "I hate to say it, but the car is done for."

"I guess I'll have to call the insurance company, then," Danny said.

"But...my car!" Michelle cried. "Doesn't anyone care that my car was destroyed?"

Stephanie stood up. "I care!" she said passionately. "I know I was jealous that you got a car and I didn't, but...I'm really sorry that your car got ruined."

"Me too," DJ said.

The three sisters hugged each other.

"Awww..." Danny said. "Isn't that nice? A terrible tragedy has brought my girls together."

"You'll get me a new car, right, Daddy?" Michelle asked.

"Not in this neighborhood!" Danny said. "It's too dangerous. Maybe we should wait a couple of years, until you get your license."

"But Daddy!" Michelle whined.

When no one was looking, DJ and Stephanie shared a secret high-five.

"Looks like Mission Destroy Michelle's Car was a success!" Stephanie said.

"That went better than I expected!" DJ agreed.