***I started gathering together a bunch of domestic short ficlets I was going to put together in some sort of collection and never did - just random, day to day b.s. that happens when you're a couple. I wrote this one during last year's heat wave, and during this year's heat wave, when our electricity went out, I dug it back up. So here it is.
Sebastian's apartment is hot, and humid beyond belief. The sticky air leaves a sheen everywhere it touches. There are fans positioned in every room, three in the master bedroom, but without any electricity, they just sit like quiet sentries, except these sentinels are unmoving and useless. Without any circulation, the apartment becomes stagnant, and it builds. The heat piles up, the moisture accumulates. Breathing it in feels like shoving cotton in your lungs, and breathing out takes too much effort. But once the body heat escapes, it stays there, collecting in the air with the rest of it – a day's worth of baking in the relentless summer sun, even thru the protection of the tinted windows.
Sebastian moves forward, and Kurt groans. He moves again, backing away this time, and Kurt sighs.
When Sebastian moves forward a second time, Kurt growls, "What the fuck's wrong with you, Sebastian? Did you order up this heat?" The words are all there, the angry inflection, but without any tone.
It's an asinine question, but Sebastian doesn't have the energy to laugh. "Even if I could, why do you think I would?"
"Because you would do something as annoying as this," Kurt accuses. He considers swiping a hand behind him to smack Sebastian on the stomach, but his hand coming in contact with Sebastian's skin would be intolerable. "And why did you think that sex right now would be a brilliant idea?"
Sebastian sighs. It's barely even a breath, but that additional heat on Kurt's shoulder feels like torture. "Because sex is always a brilliant idea."
"No, it's not," Kurt says, finding just enough strength to argue. "Not when the heat index is off the charts. Not when half the city has no electricity. Not when you live on the 15th floor of a frickin' sky rise! Heat rises, you know!"
"The electricity'll come back on in a second."
"You've been saying that for over a three hours!" Kurt whines. Sebastian doesn't answer. He pushes forward again, and Kurt screams, "If you don't stop, I'll cut it off!"
"You're not exactly moving away."
"That's because it's too hot to move!"
"And you don't have to move. Just let me do my thing. Who knows…" Sebastian's voice drops to a whisper, more because his throat is too dry to make words any more than for any conscious effort on his part to be sexy, "maybe you'll enjoy it."
"Ha! Not when you moving makes my ass feel like it's on fire."
"Is that a medical thing? Or…"
"Sebastian!"
"Alright, alright. Tell you what, if I can figure out a way around the heat, will you let me finish?"
Kurt sighs with relief, seeing his way out of this torment. Normally he'd love having sex with his boyfriend, but not right now. Not when he can feel his thighs glued together, the sheet beneath him soaked in his own sweat (and not in a sexy way), and his hair clinging to his head in thick clumps that he can't efficiently separate, thus trapping in the heat.
"Fine," Kurt agrees, knowing Sebastian can't do it. He can't fix this heat. He'll just have to back off, leave Kurt alone, and let him try to get a few hours' sleep before he has to be up for work in the morning. "If you can solve our heat problem, then you can finish. In fact" – Kurt chuckles, conceited in his assumed victory – "I'll even let you go for a round two."
"How gracious of you," he hears Sebastian mumble. Kurt feels the bed behind him shift, but Sebastian doesn't leave, and Kurt wonders how Sebastian thinks he's going to solve their problem by staying in bed. Unless he realizes that he was wrong and there is no solution. But Kurt has never seen Sebastian concede defeat this easily.
"Okay," Sebastian says, nearly half-a-minute later, grabbing Kurt's hips and pounding his ass in earnest. "Problem solved."
"Wha-what?" Kurt tries to pull away but he just doesn't have it in him. "What do you mean, problem solved?" He weakly bats Sebastian's hands away, but Sebastian childishly bats back. "It's still nine hundred degrees in here!"
"Yeah, but it's not nine hundred degrees at the Waldorf Astoria, where I just booked us a room via Expedia thanks to my iPhone. So let's hurry it up so we can go."
"Why didn't you do that an hour ago?" Kurt asks enraged.
Sebastian stops. In the thick, mucky silence, Kurt can hear Sebastian thinking while he lays still and contemplates the question. In the end, he simply says, "Meh. It was kind of fun watching you suffer," which leads Kurt to the realization that Sebastian is more than willing to slowly simmer to death in a fiery pit as long as he gets to watch Kurt incinerate with him.
In retrospect, that's probably been the entire basis of their relationship.