First off,I honestly think this could have been way better. To be honest,I don't really like it,but often times,people tend to like the stuff I hate. T_T No,I don't plan on making a sequel.
Word Count:802
My past resembles a rose whose petals have withered,a once seductive and elegant blossom desecrated by the harsh weathering of time. I am no more a saint than night is to day,not do I pretend do be as such. My appearance is deceiving,as though I wear the mask of a stranger that is only visible to those around me. I have made many a man's worst nightmares come to life and seen more blood than can fill a lake. But as many nightmares as I've induced,I have endured twice as many.
I was well aware of my actions on the night of the Uchiha massacre. Do not fool yourself into believing that I hadn't a clue what I was doing. I killed them on orders from the Leaf Village council,the village I had pledged my loyalty to for years. The village that I had grown to love. How was I to know of the treachery amidst the council? The order had been clear and legitimate—the Uchiha Clan posed a threat to Konoha,and the village feared that the clan would take over. I did not stop to contemplate the fact that I,too,was of Uchihan descent,and therefor should have been considered a threat as well. No,this idea came to me many years later upon the betrayal of man. Senju Ikadsu was his name,and he hailed from the Uchiha Clan's enemies,the Senju Clan. Formerly our brothers in arms,the Senju had turned their backs on the Uchihas when they had been refused the secret of the Sharingan. Had I known that a Senju had given the command to obliterate my family—my home—I would have slit the bastard's throat on the spot.
However,I was unaware of his position as a council member,and carried out the order with a heavy heart and the images of their deaths forever imprinted in my mind. My loyalty to Konoha was a weakness,though I was unaware of this until a few days later when the first ANBU squad came after me. The very ANBU squad I had formerly led. It was then that it dawned on me the mistake I had made,and the duplicity behind the scheme. I fled,tears streaming down my face. No,I had not known of the betrayal of our brother clan,and the deaths of my clan members was not entirely my fault. However,the fact that I cannot take it back leaves me crumpled in excruciating pain each and every day.
I had been sixteen then. And to think,one's teenage years were supposed to be the best of their lives! Now,I was twenty-one,and still very much remorseful for what I'd done. Even the comfort in knowing that I'd spared my brother,Sasuke,was not enough to heal the pain. I could not have beared to kill him,so I'd left him as the sole survivor,a witness to the deaths of the people he'd loved. I had told him of his potential,promising him that he would one day be powerful enough to obtain the Mangekyou Sharingan. I longed for the day when he'd kill me for what I'd done. He served as a constant,agonizing reminder of the past,and just the thought of him ripped the wound open again. I often thought that I shouldn't have held back,that killing him would have been far less painful than allowing him to grow up alone. Then,the cold heartlessness of those thoughts almost killed me. To even think of doing such a thing! I feared that I had become a monster,a soulless husk of despair.
I resented my village then,and wanted to destroy it. But I stopped myself from doing so,knowing that Sasuke was one of its residents. Then,I was almost overjoyed when he turned his back on them and went to Orochimaru. In a way,I felt as though he'd done me a favor by betraying that village before its people betrayed him first. As a member of the Akatsuki,I plotted the village's demise. I had found a home here with people who'd suffered similar,if not worse fates as I had. This was when my sanity began to pull itself back together.
My partner was like a therapist,and as if he knew how much pain I was in,he made an effort to reach out to me. As stoic as my demeanor appeared,I always felt the childish urge to allow him to do so. I wanted to let everything go,and melt in his arms.
I had always believed in heaven and hell;I also believed I would be going to hell when I died. Somewhere in my mind,I knew there were angels in this world. My suspicions were confirmed when one of those angels found me—Kisame. My lover,my friend,and my savior,he was the only one I ever dared to trust. For his patience and devotion,I offer the remainder of my sanity,though by now there's probably not much of it left.