Interlude

Tara/Connor

By Vixen

It took him a while to adjust to what had happened, between the flashing lights and that tunnel thing. It was what he had wanted, in the end, the sweet release. No more demons to fight against, no more questioning why he didn't fit in the world, there was nothing but peace.

Peace and the lady in white.

Tara.

Somehow he knew her; he knew everything. The pieces fit in a way they had never been able to before. The hurt remained however, but her soothing voice began to erase even that from his mind. "How are you feeling, Connor?"

"Like my own father killed me." He tried to resist the urge to wrap his hand into a fist, his anger felt out of place in front of her. The emotions remained though and he could nothing to keep them away. "Always knew he would."

"Isn't that what you wanted?" Tara's voice was hesitant, she knew the truth even if she was wary to speak it and cause even further damage to his weakened emotional state. "You set the scene and the universe played out according to it."

The truth was so much simpler in this new place. As his deception slipped away, Connor answered with sincerity. "I never thought he'd go through with it."

"You were testing him," she nodded her understanding. "You wanted to see if there was anything left holding on for."

"Guess I got my answer." He looked down, willing himself not to care. It wasn't like there was anything in that life that mattered anyway, just a bunch of broken promises. Tara smoothed his hair back, compassion filling every delicate movement. Glancing back up to her, he asked, "What happens now?"

"Now you get to rest." She laid her hand lightly on his shoulder. "For a little while at least. Walk with me for a little while, I have some things I'd like to teach you." Tara stretched out her feathery wings while Connor watched in amazement. Her dirty blond hair settled back down across her shoulders, and she reached out for his hand. "Are you coming?"

He was still transfixed by the beauty of her wings. Finally, when he found his voice again, Connor whispered, "You're an angel. Da-- Holtz, used to talk about them, he thought his wife was one. I never really believed in them." He took her hand, letting Tara take the lead in the strange new world. "Not until now."

Curiously, he reached his own hand behind his back, checking for his own set of wings. When he found nothing there, his mood deepened. Maybe he wasn't where he was supposed to be; maybe the son of two demons could never hope for anything besides fire and brimstone.

"Not yet, Connor." Tara reassured him with a pure and radiant smile, leaving no doubt of her angelic nature. "You haven't learned everything yet."

As she had promised, Tara taught him many things, how to see the paths each person in his life had taken; each person's steps forward and each of their mistakes. He'd made many of both. With her help, he confronted his emotions, dealt with the past, and had begun to make the steps towards feeling whole again. It wasn't the rest he had expected. There were too many issues cluttering his mind to bring much solitude at first. Each painful step he walked though, she stood by him, acting as guide and mentor. She told him the truth. That was something he had always respected in a person in life. After his death, it became doubly important.

Tara told him about herself too. Each story she told him made him respect her more. She'd been through a lot in her own life. She'd lost her mother at an early age, been teased and tormented for loving another woman, and emotionally abused by her father. Then when she had finally found a place to belong and a love of her own, her life had been cut short by a bullet. One tiny bullet. Through it all though, she had been made stronger. She was a deep believer in things having reasons.

"The Universe has a plan for everything," she dispensed her knowledge of the world during a conversation about magicks. He'd never trusted the stuff before but the way she talked about witchcraft, working with it seemed almost natural. It was a part of nature, like everything else.

"Everything?"

"Yes," Tara touched his cheek lightly, "Even you."

"And here I thought my plan was over," he replied with a lop-sided grin. Smiling seemed to come naturally to him now, when he was with her. "I already died, so what else is there for me to do?"

"You have to go back." There was a hint of sadness in her blue eyes, just enough that Connor knew it was serious. She had never looked this upset, not even when she was discussing her past.

"Go back?"

"You're not really dead, not completely," she explained slowly, "You're just sort of in between lives at the moment. You see, your father made a deal with Wolfram and Hart--"

"No!" He cut off her sentence violently and twisted away from her. All the work he had done in this place to ensure that he would be able to find some form of peace and his father took it away. Again. It wasn't fair. "I don't want to go back there, I'm not ready."

"Technically, you're not going back there. Not to your old life. They found you a different family to live with, a good one. You'll be happy with the Reilly's." She paused, taking a slow breath, "And you won't remember any of this. Not me, not this place, not your old life. Nothing." Tara tentatively embraced him in a hug, and surprisingly he let her. He was shaking, scared to return to where everything hurt. "I promise you though, you'll be happy.. and safe.. and loved."

"I don't have a choice here, do I?" Connor held onto her, breathing in the scent of her deeply. Her wings wrapped around them both. She didn't have to answer his question, they both knew. There were still miles for him to go, a whole life out there for him to lead, and this had just been a brief interlude. He broke away, accepting the decision that had been made for him. "How does this work?"

"Just close your eyes."

He did so, resigned to his fate.

"And wake up." Tara said and then repeated herself, though the second time she said it her voice sounded oddly like Connor's little sister, "Wake up! -- Connor, wake up! Mom said if you're not up in five minutes you're walking to school!"

"What?" Connor fell out of his bed, tangled in his blankets and bed sheets. For an instant, he couldn't remember where he was. He blinked a few times as his eyes became adjusted to the bright morning light. He looked over at his sister who was standing expectantly in the doorway, "Tell her I'll be down in a minute."

She skipped down the stairs screaming, "Mom! Connor said he'll be down in a minute! I think he's lying though, can I squirt him with water and make sure he's really awake?"

Connor shook his head, stood up and lifted the blankets back onto his bed. He could vaguely remember what he dreamt about the night before. Wings. A bright smile. A warm touch. But the rest was lost to him.

.END.