Disclaimer: I don´t own the rights of or anything else related to "Castle" and am only borrowing the characters. I am not making any money by doing so. Rats.
Warnings: Spoilers for the second season´s episode 21 Den of Thieves. If you haven´t watched it yet, you probably want to stop reading now.
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Author´s notes: Den of Thieves inspired me to write this; it´s set on the evening of the day Esposito underwent the polygraph examination. They show Castle spending time with Alexis later that night, but not what Ryan and Esposito are doing after Ryan followed his partner out. Which, in my opinion, is grossly negligent considering a great deal of the episode´s focus is on Esposito due to obvious reasons. This story can hence be considered as a gapfiller.
Enjoy!
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Till the Wheels Fall Off
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Ryan hesitated to go after his partner; he knew Esposito well enough to be aware that the other man needed a little head space right then. Yet when Beckett motioned towards the door, the detective immediately followed Esposito , surprised by the instant feeling of relief. He hated seeing his friend like that, had been on tenterhooks all afternoon because Esposito was as well, and because Javier did not deserve to be treated like a criminal. The situation itself added to Ryan´s nervousness; he was on unfamiliar territory, so to speak, because Esposito had never told him about Ike. Ryan knew nothing about the former partner, or that Esposito was still keeping contact with said partner´s widow. It was like Javi to feel responsible, though, and he had a remarkable sense of loyalty. Maybe that was why he did never talk about the whole issue; Ryan could not but feel a little irritated about it, but on the other hand tried to convince himself that Esposito meant what he had said earlier: he had left the case behind.
But still, the small, nagging voice in his head insisted. Doesn´t he think you´re trustworthy? What else has he not told you?
Ryan sighed in annoyance, trying to shut his inner voice up. Whatever had been Esposito´s true motives for keeping these things to himself, this was not about Ryan right now. It was about Esposito, and Ryan wanted to make sure he was okay and would not go off and do something rash.
He caught up with Esposito just as the elevator doors opened; wordlessly, he stepped in with the other, who looked at him from the side but did not say anything. Ryan would have expected a frown, but Esposito´s expression remained blank, apart from the muscles working underneath his skin, betraying how agitated he was. Only when they reached the underground parking lot did Esposito look at his partner again and raised one eyebrow.
"It´s Thursday, right?" Ryan said, obviously unfazed. "Madden night."
Esposito stared at him, shaking his head, but there was a little, incredulous grin playing around the corners of his mouth. "You think you´re so smart," he murmured when they got into Ryan´s car.
They did not talk much, even when it took ages to find a parking space near Esposito´s apartment. Usually they bickered at each other while driving around the block for the umpteenth time, but on that night there was still too much tension in the air. Without even noticing, Ryan gave a sigh of relief when he finally turned the ignition off.
Silently and much slower than usual they climbed the stairs, as though the case was literally weighing down on them. Both of them knew that they were not going to play Madden that night, but that Ryan would stay nevertheless.
After he had closed the door behind them, Esposito weighed the key fob in his hand and considered the "54th" sign for a moment, before he turned around to his partner: "I´m going to bed."
Ryan nodded, then sat down on Esposito´s couch. He hoped that Espo knew he did not want to babysit him, or simply butt in because he did not like to be left out. Sighing again, he leaned back and closed his eyes for a moment, he felt so tired all of a sudden. This was the first time ever that he was not sure whether he had to justify himself for being protective of his partner. Even though his nerves were on edge, fatigue finally won, and he fell asleep while he was still pondering the matter. He did not wake up when Esposito pulled off his shoes and spread a blanket over him.
When Ryan opened his eyes early the following morning, he found himself quite comfortable in a lying position; he did vaguely recall waking up in darkness with a crick in his neck, thus automatically assuming a more convenient sleeping position. He was just fumbling with his sleeve to take a look at his watch when Esposito came in, two steaming mugs in his hands, and sat down on the coffee table. He beheld his sleep-tousled partner for a moment, expression unreadable: "I could easily have snuck out and back in a dozen times, you know," he eventually said.
Ryan slowly sat up and gratefully took one of the mugs: "Right," he mumbled, stifling a yawn,"keep dreaming."
"Bro, you didn´t even notice when I pulled off your shoes."
Ryan craned his neck a little to squint at his feet, but only shrugged: "Just pretended not to. It could´ve been a ruse to slow me down, after all."
"A what?"
"Yeah, you know- if you had done a bunk, it´d have taken me some time to put them on again. But let me tell you- I´d have followed you on socks, if need be."
"Yeah, that´s what I thought. That´s why I stayed." Esposito´s expression was still unreadable, but Ryan thought he could see an amused smile hiding there somewhere, and immediately felt another smidgen of relief.
"Javi," Ryan began, in a low voice, but Esposito cut him off: "It´s okay," he murmured. "I appreciate it, bro."
Ryan unhappily looked from him into his coffee and back to Javier, for once not knowing what to say.
Esposito gave him the tiniest of smiles, even though it was a sad one: "Just don´t wanna lose another partner, Kev. I won´t have you dragged into this any more than necessary."
Ryan remained silent at this, though he could not help thinking what if I already am? He never said it out loud, however; experience had taught him that Esposito would not take it well. He would probably try and exclude Ryan from any further investigations, against Beckett´s and Montgomery´s orders if need be, come what may. Ryan did not want to risk the chance to keep an eye on his partner just because said partner wanted to protect him as well, thus he eventually nodded, meeting Esposito´s gaze: "´kay." For now, he added in his mind.
They were quiet for a while, neither of them happy with the situation.
"So," Ryan finally said, making an effort to sound easygoing, "anything I should know before we pay a call at Carol´s?"
Esposito regarded him, as though trying to read his friend´s mind, then shook his head before another, barely visible smile subtly brightened up his features: "Just be yourself, bro."
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Fin
More author´s notes: In the episode, Ryan and Esposito are going to visit Carol, Espo´s former partner´s ´widow´ that morning. Later, before the case finally gets solved, Ryan says the famous words "I´m your partner. That means I´m with you till the wheels fall off."