Chapter 1: Lady Marmalade

Disclaimer: HHAHAHAHHAA!! No.

Chapter 1: The Return of the cheeky first year

History Of Magic

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Remus, voulez-vous coucher avec moi ce? –SB

…Why the bloody hell did you ask me that?! –RE

Because it's cool to say things in Frechie. –SB

Sirius, do you have any idea what that means in French?-RE I dunno…something about breakfast, I know. – SB

…Breakfast? –RE

Yes. Breakfast. –SB

And why would you say it means something about Breakfast? –RE Because it was in a song "Lady Marmalade" –SB

…-RE Remus? –SB

...-RE

Don't look at me that way, Remus…I don't like it when people look at me that way.

… -RE I mean it! –SB OW!! What was that for! –RE

Because you looked at me funny. –SB

Don't you get looked at funny ALL the time? –RE Yes…but you weren't looking at me the way the others look at me. –SB And how was I looking at you? –RE

You looked like I was gonna attack you or something. –SB Yes…well…would you be offended If I said I was scared? –RE I'd be forced to attack you –SB

…uh-huh… edges away slowly

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Hey, baby-doll! –JP James, as much as I love you, please do not call me 'baby-doll" –LE

Aww…why not? –JP Because, it's names like that that make a new relationship sickening. –LE Are you telling me that our new relationship is sickening? –JP No, just the names that you've been using lately. –JP You don't love me anymore, do you?! –JP James…of course I still love you! –LE Okie dokie then…I love you too! –JP

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Lily!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! –SB

Yes, Sirius? –Lily

Have you ever attempted to lick your elbow? I heard it taste delicious…-SB Um…Sirius, it's impossible to lick your elbow. –LE

You can so lick your elbow!! –SB

No you can't, Sirius. I'm sorry to say. –LE

How can I trust you?! You have periods…

Ew…you're a creep…-LE

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"Do you realize that your best friend spent all of our History of Magic lesson trying to prove to me that you can in fact lick your elbow?" Lily said as they walked out an interesting HOM lesson. James wrapped an arm around her waist.

"Yeah…well, that's why he's my best friend!" he said.

"Don't talk about me like I'm not here!" Sirius said. All of a sudden, He lunged on James' back, which sent not only James and Sirius tumbling, but Lily and an entire horde of first years in front of them.

"Holy shit! What the hell is your problem?! Are you sodding insane?" screamed a fat first year.

Sirius, from on top of James, visibly paled.

"PROTECT ME PRONGS!" he screeched. The fat first year, was well-known in the Marauders…Last year, he famously kicked Sirius in the balls for blocking the doors to the Great Hall. Ever since then, Sirius had been terrified of the porker.

"What in the hell is your name, anyway?" Lily asked the kid.

The first year looked Lily up and down.
"For you baby, it could be anything." He said suggestively, winking at her.

James lunged at him, but Remus and Sirius both stopped him.

"Trust me Prongs, this kid could so some damage." Sirius whispered.

"Yeah, I could do some damage to your girlfriend too." The kid said.

Lily gagged.

"Ew…that's just….ew…" she said with another gag.

"What is your name?" Remus asked him, still trying to restrain James.

"Hector." The first year said, which made Sirius burst into his bark-like laughter.

"Hector? Your name is Hector?" Sirius laughed insanely. For some reason, Hector ignored his comment and turned to Lily, who cringed.

"Hey baby, does that name turn you on?" he purred…well, at least attempted to. It sounded more like he had something stuck in his throat.

"Not hardly." She said. James looked relived.

"Then tell me what name does turn you on, and baby, I'll use it." Hector said.

"Oh my God…" Lily said, "Uh, I HAVE a boyfriend."

He just looked at her, then at James, then back at Lily.

"So, I could treat you better." Hector said. He reached into his jumper at pulled out a piece of paper. "Here, it's directions on where my dorm is. Stop by sometime." He handed her the paper, and walked off.

James laughed, remarkably.

"So, babe, you gonna leave me for him?" he asked after Remus and Sirius let go of him.

"Oh ha ha ha.."

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I'm baaaaaaack!!! Did ya miss me? Lol…I didn't really like this chapter till I got to the end…So, please tell me what you think!!! Well, please review, cookies to all who do!!!

Love,

Sinner

PS. This story is dedicated to all the readers from our last go around, like I promised. Woot!