I think the reason I found Mr. Allison so interesting, was his resemblance to Elijah. When we were younger, Elijah always seemed to know everything. He was smart, brave enough to stand up for the things he felt strongly about, and always knew exactly what to do. But unlike Todd Allison, my brother would sometimes get a scary look in his eye.
A burning look – one that spoke of a deep hatred. Meredith had that same look sometimes, but it was never one of just pure hate like Elijah's. No, Meredith's was always softened with a mixture of sorrow and pity. It wasn't a look of fire, but rather one of hot embers. It was smoldering gently instead of burning up viciously.
I often wondered if they saw a similar look in my eyes. I was sure I had it – a visible look distain and hate – but wasn't sure how it looked on me, or even how often It showed. Was it scary like Elijah's, or maybe more muted like Meredith's? Maybe mine was something completely different, but I was certain that I had one. After what the three of us have been through, it would be impossible not to harbor at least a little hatred in our hearts, a little darkness. I liked to think that my darkness wasn't as severe as theirs, but I knew that it was useless to deny its existence. I felt it every once in a while, but mostly when thoughts of the past resurfaced. I knew that dwelling on it was pointless, but some days it was just impossible to keep the memories at bay.
I found Todd Allison interesting because he resembled my brother in personality, but also because he was different from my brother. They are both calculating, smart, and confident about their intelligence, but my brother let his darkness take root in the midst of it all whereas Todd Allison…well, I wasn't quite sure what was at the base of his ambitions, but I knew it was something to do with passion. A passion for learning or maybe a passion for the many plants he had scattered about his small apartment beside mine. Whatever the root of it was, it was something that had a positive feeling to it.
Maybe someday I'd find out what it was that was driving Mr. Allison – maybe I could add it to the list of things I knew about him, which was slowly starting to grow after the whole kidnapping incident. Maybe someday I'd be close enough to him to ask about it. If that day ever came, I might just ask him what the darkness in my eyes looked like – because knowing him, I'm sure he's already noticed it, and come to some conclusion about me because of it. Maybe I'll get the chance to ask him about that too.
Just a little something I wrote a while back ~ posted it on Tumblr and then realized there was a section for TAPV on here lol