A/N- I know it's sad, but hopefully you will like it- don't forget to review and read my other stories!!!! *The song featured in this is "Last Kiss"*
Disclaimer: Swac is not mine, neither is "Last Kiss" by Pearl Jam
The Way It Was
I sat around the fire, looking down at my son and daughter. Lily was nine and Nolan was six. They both had my blue eyes, but their mother's gorgeous auburn hair.
My wife, Kat, short for Katlyn, was away on another business trip. She had come home for two days before leaving for a month long conference in England.
It was around nine at night, past both my children's bedtimes, but I didn't care. I was never one for bedtimes. When I was eight years old, my nanny had always insisted I be in bed by nine. But being the child rebel I was, I did what any eight-year-old rebel would do- sit under the covers with a flashlight and read until well after midnight.
Yes, yes, Chad Dylan Cooper actually reads. Big whoop. But do not be mistaken. It was not child fairytales I read, but scripts.
Instead of Sleeping Beauty, I read what I was supposed to say in the toothpaste commercial the next morning. Instead of Superman Comic Books, I read the script for the latest episode of The Goody Gang.
Anyway, Nolan and Lily were in their silk pajamas and sitting cross-legged beside the blazing fireplace in the mansion's sitting room with steaming cups of hot cocoa in their tiny hands. I was in my flannel pajamas and robe and sitting in the big armchair, watching the snowflakes fall outside the window beside me.
My calm nightly ritual was interrupted by Nolan's voice.
"Daddy, tell us a story."
"Yes, Daddy, please, tell us a story," Lily pleaded, gingerly sipping her cocoa. I sighed, as it was clear I was not going to have any peace until I either sent them to bed or told them a story. And I knew exactly the story to tell.
"Alright, I will tell you a story. But just know that this is not a made up story. It really happened, though a long time ago…" And I began my sad tale.
"A long time ago, around fourteen years ago, so that would have been when I was nineteen or so, I was at the climax in my career as an actor on the number one tween drama: Mackenzie Falls. And I had a friend. Her name was Sonny Monroe and she was on our show's rival television show, So Random. I used to like her as more than a friend, but after a while, we had just settled on being good friends. She was the one person I could let my guard down with; she brought out the best in me. She saw the one thing no one else saw- Chad Dylan Cooper being nice. I was actually decent to her, though we had playful spats daily. We hung out every weekend, helping each other with our lines and eating ice cream. Sonny constantly invited me to hang out with her cast mates, but I refused to treat them the same way as I treated her. I treated them like I treated everyone else, like I was better than them and I knew it. So it was just us two whenever we hung out. I eventually became like a brother to her, and her like a sister to me. We were really close, and the public knew it. They also knew better than to call us a couple- we would chew them out. We did everything together, she would guest star on my show one week, and I would make an appearance on hers the next.
It was like this for three more years. The week after her twenty-second birthday was the day that would change me as a person forever.
It was a normal day at first. It was a bright and sunny day, but the forecast had predicted rain later in the evening. We had made plans to go out to the movies, there was a good one that had just been released that week, and neither one of us could go wait to see it.
We had laughed about it over the phone last night, teasing each other about our "date". I told her I had to use my dad's old car, since my more expensive one had been having problems and was getting fixed. She agreed and I told her I would pick her up at seven.
It all went down hill from the second she got in the car."
I paused my story to take a deep breath. I looked down at the floor, where Lily and Nolan had dragged their sleeping bags and were now buried deep inside them, listening intently to my tale. I took one more deep breath and continued.
"We were out on a date in my daddy's car
We hadn't driven very far
There in the road, straight ahead
A car was stalled, the engine was dead
I couldn't stop, so I swerved to the right
I'll never forget the sound that night
The screamin' tires, the bustin' glass
The painful scream that I heard last
I cried out over and over again, and finally managed to call 911 with shaking fingers, as hard as it was in a turned over car. As soon as I hung up, the shock over came me and everything went black.
When I woke up the rain was pourin' down
There were people standing all around
Something warm rollin' through my eyes
But somehow I found my baby that night
I lift her head, she looked at me and said,
'Hold me darling, just a little while'
I held her close, I kissed her our last kiss
I found the love that I knew I would miss.
I shut my eyes real tight, hoping it was all a dream. I woke up in a hospital bed, my mother and father standing over me, tears pouring out of their sorrowful eyes. They rushed to me when they saw I had opened my eyes and started hugging me. They said only two words, but when they said those words, I knew what had happened was not a nightmare. It was real.
"I'm sorry," they had said, and then they left.
A week later I got home from the hospital. It was the day of her funeral, and I was very tempted not to go, knowing it would make this whole experience that much realer. But I owed it that much to her. I was the one that made her leave me. I had insisted she come with me to the movie. It was my fault the engine stalled.
I dressed in a nice suit that I had found in the back of my father's closet. My parents had gone back to their vacation home now that they knew I was going to be okay, which left me to roam the spacious home and do whatever I wanted, which included borrowing my father's suit. He would never know unless I messed it up, which I did not plan on doing
Since my father's totaled car was in the junkyard, and my car was still in the shop, I walked to the church.
I had never been one for religion, but I felt more comfortable inside the church than outside. I realized that as soon as I sat down in an empty pew close to the front of the church, that I no longer had the cold feeling in my body. It had been replaced with one of warmth, like I had just gulped down an entire pot of steaming coffee before sitting down.
After the pastor had spoken and some songs were sung, it was time for people who knew Sonny to go up and speak. Sonny's mother surprised me by calling me up after she was done talking. Or rather crying and trying to force words out. But even I was teary, and Chad Dylan Cooper never cried.
I went up and I wasn't sure of what to say. I thought about it for a minute or two and then I spoke.
I talked about how great of a person she was and how sorry I was for doing this to everybody. I proceeded to tell my story of how I killed my best friend. I heard some gasps of shock after I was done, but I ignored them and finished up my speech with these words:
'Well now she's gone
even though I hold her tight
I lost my love, my life, that night.
Oh where, oh where, can my baby be?
The Lord took her away from me
She's gone to heaven, so I've got to be good
So I can see my baby when I leave this world
Thank you for listening, and I hope you forgive me for what I have done. '
I barely got the last sentence out, as I was now crying heavily. I went back to my seat and say patiently for the rest of the service.
When the service finished, I slowly got up to go share my sympathy with Sonny's mom and other best friend, Lucy.
When I got to them, before I could say anything, he mom attacked me with a big hug.
"I cannot believe you said that. It is not your fault she died. It was obviously her time to go, and you nor anyone else could have changed that. Nobody blames you, even if it does feel that way at times. And I also want to tell you how much you meant to my daughter," Mrs. Monroe said, sniffling, tears threatening to flow out of her eyes at any moment. "You meant the world to her. You were her own personal sun." She laughed weakly at her own joke. "She loved you, you know. She was just too shy to tell you. I hope you realize that. And thank you for coming, Chad. This meant a lot to me and Lucy." She hugged me once more then walked away. Lucy came up to me and whispered two simple words in my ear, and then she too, walked away.
'Thank you' was all she said, but it scarred me. Every time I hear those two words together, my heart breaks into a million pieces.
Now I walked back home from the funeral, salty tears staining my father's suit. Darn it, now I would have to send it to the dry cleaners. I shrugged it off. Nothing was as bad to me as it would have been before the accident.
On my way home from the dry cleaners I stopped at a convenience store. And I bought a notebook. A special notebook. It may have only cost a dollar, and it may have only been plain green, which had always been Sonny's favorite color, but it was still special. And why was that?
It was her notebook. A notebook in which I stored all of our memories and tokens, like the receipt from when we had our first fake date, and a program from the sketch I guest-starred in.
And on the very last page, I wrote what I had said that had touched me the most at Sonny's funeral:
Oh where, oh where, can my baby be?
The Lord took her away from me
She's gone to heaven, so I've got to be good
So I can see my baby when I leave this world
And for the first time in my twenty-second year old life, I had kneeled down and prayed."
I finished my story, tears silently pouring out of my eyes. I sniffled and wiped the tears on the sleeve of my robe. I glanced down at my children's reactions. Both had tears on their cheeks.
I pulled both of them into my lap and I hugged them tight.
"Bedtime," I said, setting them down and I watched them run off to their rooms.
I went into the bathroom and splashed some water on my face, then went to go tuck in Nolan and Lily.
I walked into Nolan's room and tucked the covers in around him. He was already asleep, so I kissed his forehead softly and left.
When I arrived at Lily's room, she was still awake.
I tucked her into her bed, and kissed her forehead. I got up from the edge of her bed and was about to close the door behind me when she spoke for the first time since I finished my story.
"Daddy? You loved her didn't you? Just as much as she loved you, right?" I sighed internally, feeling my heart break as I felt the pain of my best friend's death all over again when I realized how smart she was.
"Yes," I whispered, "I loved her. More than she ever knew."
The End