Written for Quidditch League
Team/Position: Montrose Magpies - Seeker
Round Four - Prompt: Lonely
Isolated
Remus Lupin was used to being by himself. He was used to having no friends. Used to getting by only with his books.
Even after Dumbledore turned up at his house, offering him something he had always wanted – a place at Hogwarts – he knew that wouldn't change. It was exciting going to Diagon Alley, but he watched other children with their friends and he just felt so like he was missing so much.
The train ride wasn't much better. He loved going through the barrier but his eyes fell on where the students were laughing and joking. Everyone seemed to have a friend, someone who cared about them... but Remus was only with his father.
After listening to his fathers advice for school again, he climbed onto the train and found an empty compartment. Pulling out a book, he curled up in the corner of the seat and began to read. It was one he had finished already, but it didn't hurt to be prepared for starting Hogwarts.
He watched as other students rushed past the compartment, laughter so loud that it distracted him from his book. He watched them all wistfully, wishing that he wasn't be himself. Wishing that he had someone to laugh with too.
Finally the door opened and students began to take advantage of the empty seats. Eyes fell on him and the other students began to talk amongst themselves, not paying much attention to Remus and Remus tried to concentrate on his book.
He may as well have been invisible.
Maybe if he had chosen a different compartment, he might have met someone who actually noticed him? Someone who was also... by himself or herself and wanted to make a friend. Someone who liked the same things he liked.
Maybe if he wasn't reading, the others would have let him join the conversation with them? He would have made some friends?
But he didn't know how to put the book down and engage his fellow students, so he hid behind the book and paid them no more attention, though the laughter and jokes made him wish he was a part of them.
...oOo...
It was a few hours before the train arrived at Hogsmeade and he followed the other students from the carriage. He didn't say a word to them, instead he just followed to the boats and climbed into one where a red-headed girl and a dark-haired boy were talking to each other. A small blond boy took the last spot.
Remus watched the trio talking and wished he could join in, but there never seemed to be an opening. They got out of the boat and continued to the castle, Remus following behind.
He stood by himself as he waited to be sorted and when it was finally his turn, he was shocked to be placed in Gryffindor. How would he fare in a house that was known for it's bravery.
How was he brave when he couldn't even talk to someone on the train or in the boats? The Sorting Hat had it completely wrong. He needed to tell someone that he should be somewhere else – that he wasn't brave enough for Gryffindor.
He turned fearful eyes onto the Professor who had placed the hat on his head, and opened his mouth as she removed the hat.
Before he could even argue, he felt himself being pushed towards the table with the red banners where the students were politely chatting.
He felt disappointment as he recognised one of the boys from the train compartment as his soon to be room-mate. Neither shared a word. Another boy from the train soon joined them, and the two fell into conversation – one that didn't involve Remus.
Why couldn't he have just gone into Ravenclaw? He would have had a friend there.
...oOo...
Over the next few weeks, Remus realised that he didn't fit in. He was left sitting by himself during meals, he was left out of the dorm conversations that the other three had. All he could do was study and hide out in the library, wondering why being at Hogwarts was just as isolating as being at home.
It only had more people than he was used to.
Sure, they were all very polite to him, no-one in his house was mean or cruel, but he wasn't really a part of it. He wasn't a Gryffindor and it seemed like they all knew it... as though they were all waiting for him to suddenly be moved out of Gryffindor and into one of the other houses where he truly belonged.
...oOo...
Remus listened from his bed as laughter rang through the dorm as his room-mates enjoyed themselves. He listened to the jokes and the stories they all told and imagined himself to be part of the group. They seemed so funny and interesting. So lively.
Everything he wished he could be himself. Everything he knew he could have been if he hadn't been cursed by that bite.
He knew he would never be a part of that though. He'd never be brave enough to include himself... but maybe that was for the best. He was a Werewolf after all, so it made sense to get used to being isolated.
Remus just didn't seem to notice the curious glances the other boys gave him. He didn't notice the cues they offered for him to involve himself. To them, he was a boy that wasn't interested in being their friend – someone unsocial.
To Remus, they were a group of boys that weren't interested in being his.