I have a crush. A big one. On a certain Fujino Shizuru. How this crush came to be, I'm not sure. All I know is that I'd date this girl in an instant. If only I could bring myself to talk to her, eh heh. Yes, that's the slight complication to my dream for the future; I haven't had a real solid conversation with her. Now you may say, "Kuga, you don't know her, this is clearly an infatuation." Perhaps this IS an infatuation. But one can hope that something comes of it, can't they? And don't happy couples generally have some starting point somewhere. It's not an instant thing. One of them has to make a move. And that's pretty scary, I think.
How rude of me. I haven't properly introduced myself. My name is Kuga Natsuki. I am 19. I am a student at Tokyo University. Admittedly, I am generally not a social person. My best friends, Mikoto and Mai live in residence with me. We all went to the same high school and for some reason, these two decided to stick around me. Mai cooks and Mikoto entertains me, so I can't really complain about having them around. Mai knows that I have a thing for Shizuru. I never told her. But she says that she just knew and I didn't deny it. See, Shizuru also went to the same high school and then we all got into the same university.
I should give you a bit of a background. I met Shizuru in my second year of high school. Her locker was beside Mai's. I was waiting around at the end of school for Mai to show up, and then this girl comes up and starts fiddling around with the locker beside me. At first, I didn't really pay attention, but then I guess one of her books fell out of her hands while she was trying to get her locker open. Thinking it would be stupid to just stand there and not help, I bent down and picked it up. That was when I got a good look at this girl. My first thought was, she has a nice smile. Yes, lame. But that's the truth. I didn't say anything to her. I just handed the book to her, and she softly said, "Thank you". Then I felt an elbow nudging me in the side. It was Mai.
"Natsuki, move it! You're in the way, I need my things." Mai looked over. "Oh, hey Shizuru, what's up?"
Shizuru, I thought. Hm. Pretty name, girl-with-nice-smile.
"Natsuki, do you know Shizuru?" said Mai. At the sound of my name, I was pulled out of my thoughts.
"Uhhh... no. Hi, I'm Kuga Natsuki". I said, scratching my head, and averting my eyes. I was never good at this introductions thing.
"It's nice to meet you, Natsuki," she said with that beautiful smile. I noticed she had a distinct accent. From Kyoto maybe?
It was then that some tall guy walking by stops and does a double-take. He approaches Shizuru and they greet each other and talk about some class they apparently had together. Shizuru then introduces him to us as Reito. Mai says hi back, and I notice she's looking down... and blushing? That was odd, I thought. Mai's never the shy type. I look at Reito and his eyes are locked on Mai. Eventually Reito and Shizuru say bye and walk away together, leaving Mai and I. Mai swings around and says excitedly, "Oh my god. Shizuru's boyfriend is so cute.... But don't tell her I said that".
Boyfriend? And for a second, it seemed like I cared. "He's okay, I guess," I say. While we walk down the halls, I keep thinking about Shizuru and her smile. And her supposedly-cute, not-bad-looking boyfriend. I guess with her looks she's got to have a boyfriend already. I catch myself. Why do I care? Then Mikoto jumps onto me from out of nowhere.
"Jesus, Mikoto! Don't do that!"
"Haha Natsuki's so easily scared, Mai. So I saw you guys meet my brother!"
Mai and I are confused. Then Mai stops. "Wait a second! That Reito is the same Reito, your brother Reito. THE Reito that went to Kyoto for a year?"
"Yup, yup. He's back now. He brought some cool things back too," Mikoto says. She rambles on about the gifts he bought. Mai listens intently while I just keep to myself.
The days after that, when I waited for Mai at the end of classes, I always saw Shizuru. She would say "Hi, Natsuki" with that gorgeous smile of hers. And I would say hi back. It never really went beyond that and the occasional how are you, small talk, etc. Sometimes I would see her walk up to her locker with Reito and they would be talking about their class or Kyoto. Those days, I was a little disappointed that she wouldn't say hi to me. Day after day, this went on. Eventually I noticed small details about Shizuru. She was always smiling. She wore skirts a lot. Not too short and just short enough. So, it's pretty impossible to not notice that she had nice legs too, and an overall nice figure. Uh... yeah. Well, you would probably notice that too! Geez. Obviously, with Shizuru's good looks she had admirers. And I guess I was just like one of them: an insignificant fan. She became popular and took up being student council president.
And so high school went by fast. And we're here in university. Mai, Mikoto, and I went into chemistry class today, the first of the year. We decided to have our schedules match up almost identically so that we could help (cheat off) each other. The class was huge. Maybe a thousand students. It was loud and we were all just getting settled into our seats. Then Mai smacks me in the head.
"Natsuki! Look! Over there! It's Shizuru and Reito! Oh damn, he's looking at me. Pretend you're talking to me, Natsuki. Now, Natsuki. Talk."
I look at Mai's goofy smile, and her pleading eyes and try to come up with something random to talk about. Past Mai's shoulder, I see Mikoto waving frantically at someone. Shit, she's calling Shizuru and Reito.
And then... "Hi Natsuki," I hear behind me in a Kyoto accent. I freeze. Then I slowly turn around. Shizuru's standing beside me and fuck, she looks beautiful. I blush instantly and wave back a little awkwardly. She's wearing a light pink, short-sleeved top and white skirt. Her hair is tied up, for once, but she let some strands down next to her face. Of course, she's looking at me intently with a cute smirk.
"Hi Shizuru! Ummm, hi Reito. How are you?" Mai says.
Reito says in his casual, charming voice, "I'm fine, thanks. It's nice to see you again, Mai. I didn't know you were taking chemistry too? Mind if we sit beside you? We'll just sit beside Natsuki."
Mai smiles wide, but her eyes stare at me menacingly, probably for sitting beside her and effectively taking away her chance to sit beside Reito. Shizuru sits down beside me. My heart is racing at this point and my mind isn't thinking. She gets her pen and paper out, looks at me, and says, "I like your sweater, Natsuki." I say "thanks". Then my eyes scan her for something to compliment back. "I like your... er.... um...." Uh oh, think something fast, Natsuki. I look at her top and notice it's unbuttoned at the top. Wait, is that her... "bra?" I say. Shizuru stares at me for a second and then looks down at her top. Fuck. What did I just say?! Stupid. Stupid. "Uh. Wait. What I meant was... was..." She lightly laughs at me and cuts off my sentence. "Um, thank you, Natsuki". I instantly look down at the ground, blushing like mad.
"Well Natsuki, you certainly have a way with the ladies," Reito adds in, grinning. Great, I thought.
The lecturer starts. I listen. At least there's one thing that I can use to escape – academics. Despite my apparent lack of conversational skills, I'm actually pretty smart. I'm top 10 in my science courses, not so much in my writing courses. I look to my right. Mai's starting to doze off already and Mikoto's concentrated on spinning her pen around her fingers. I glance to my left and Shizuru's listening intently, taking notes along the way. Reito is sitting back, not even writing anything. He's probably one of those students that absorb information like a sponge.
I try to relax a little and bring my arm up onto the armrest, unintentionally touching Shizuru's arm. I quickly pull it off and muster a quick "Sorry!" Maybe that was too loud; people in the row in front of us turn around. Mai wakes up and Mikoto stares at me, dropping the pen she was spinning. "Uh... sorry," I say, a little quieter. Shizuru says it's okay and continues writing with a small smile on her face. And there I go, blushing again. I manage to just shut up until the class ended and we got out of the room.
Reito begins speaking. "Everyone, Shizuru and I would love for you all to come over for dinner at our house. It's just a block away from the university. It'd be great to have you all visit."
Mai stutters, "well, hm. w-we have things to do, right Natsuki? We have that.." She only gets nervous like this around Reito, I've noticed.
Mikoto jumps in. "Ya! I like Mai's cooking, but I miss Reito's too! Let's go Mai! Natsuki!"
"I guess we could go," I say, and Mai reluctantly agrees. And I notice Shizuru's staring at me. I feel a little uncomfortable under her gaze.
"That's great. We'll see you at 6 at the east campus gates. We could all walk together," Shizuru says, keeping her eyes on me for some reason. I catch myself staring back.
"Mmmmkay! Let's go to stats class, Natsuki!" Mai says as she tugs me away. We hurriedly say goodbye and start walking. I take a second to look back at Shizuru, and she's looking at me, but then starts talking to Reito.
So at 5:45, the three of us: me, Mai, and Mikoto are already waiting around the university gates for Shizuru and Reito. Despite Mai's initial shyness about having dinner at their house, she forced us to rush back to residence, get ready fast, and be early. Mai even fussed us about what we were wearing. She said, "Natsuki, you have to look presentable. I don't want Reito and Shizuru thinking that I live with bums. But keep that sweater on. Shizuru said it was nice." Remembering this, I couldn't help but smile a little. Wait. What am I thinking? Shizuru's with Reito. Shizuru's with Reito. Shizuru's with Reito. No way is she going to like me just from a stupid sweater. I looked down and just stared at the concrete.
"Hey, they're here!" Mikoto points out. I look up at the couple approaching.
Mikoto runs up and hugs her brother.
While we walked, there was not enough room for all 5 to walk together. So Mai, Mikoto, and Reito walked together in front, and Shizuru and I were left walking behind. At first, we didn't say anything. But I knew I needed to break the awkward silence. I scrambled for a conversation topic. Yes, I have to show Shizuru that I can hold her attention for more than 2 seconds.
"So... how were your classes today?" I quickly said.
She looks at me. "I'm sorry?" I guess she was thinking of something else.
"Umm... nevermind." I gave up fast. Ahhh epic fail.
She smiles at me and then asks me how I've been. I tell her fine. And ask back. She says she's well. Small talk. Will I ever get past that with Shizuru? There's a short silence. Then, suddenly, she asks, "How is living with Mai? You both seem really close."
I tell her that it's great. Mai can cook well.
"Oh." She says and then looks away. "That's good, then." Was she bored with talking with me? She wasn't smiling anymore.
I felt it was kind of obligatory for me to ask her how living with Reito was. But I didn't really want to hear about how great of a boyfriend he was and all of that. But I ask anyway and she answers.
"It's nice. Reito is a great cook as well. It gets lonely sometimes, with just the two of us in such a big house. You should visit when you're free. And Mai and Mikoto too."
"Oh. Um. I have a lot of classes. But I guess I could. Sometimes." I scratch the back of my head. Shizuru nods.
Mai calls over her shoulder "Oy! Shizuru are you teasing poor Natsuki? She looks embarrassed. Please forgive her if she's being too quiet."
Shizuru looks up, "No, Natsuki is actually very adorable."
Did Shizuru just say that? Wow. I can feel my face heating up. Mai looks at me and winks. I think Shizuru might have noticed this because she laughs a little.
"Ok, here we are," Reito announces. We get inside and it is freakishly, beyond clean. I feel bad for even stepping into the house and bringing my dirty shoes in contact with the pristine front rug.
"I'll start cooking up something. Shizuru, could you set up the table?" Reito says.
"Don't worry about it Shizuru. I can take care of that" Mai says. She must have realized that she had no clue where everything was because only a moment later, we hear, "R-Reito, where are the chopsticks?"
Mikoto, meanwhile, had plopped onto the couch in the living room and was watching TV.
Shizuru turns to me. "Natsuki, why don't I show you the house?" Frankly, I could care less how the house looks. But since Shizuru was asking, I can't really say no. I nod. Shizuru brings me around through the dining room, living room, etc., pointing out various things, especially the artwork. Reito and her must have some high taste; all the art looked authentic abstract expressionism. Eventually she brings me upstairs, shows me the lounge rooms and then to her bedroom. My god, it was huge. And very modern too.
"Sorry for the mess," she says while blushing a little, I noticed, even though it was perfectly clean.
I follow her in and walk towards some picture frames. They're of her and Reito with what looks like her family. They all seem happy. I'm a little jealous, but glad she's happy with someone. I then walk up to a table with various tea cups and pots on it. I ask her why she has so many.
"Tea ceremony is a hobby of mine. I try to collect nice pieces, when I see them," she says fondly while sitting down onto her bed. I decide to sit down beside her.
"Oh. They're pretty." Then I look at her and notice that she's looking at me with a grin, so I cough to break the nervous feeling I was getting. "Um... yeah, nice room," I announce, trying to keep it normal. Hold on, is Shizuru getting closer? Like really close?
"Natsuki, I..."
"DINNER! NATSUKI! SHIZURU!" We hear Reito calling us and it startles the both of us. Shizuru stands up really quick. "Jesus Christ,"I mumble. I manage to fall off the bed and gather myself up.
"Gee Natsuki, you seem really stiff" Mai says when we get downstairs. Way to draw the attention to me, Mai.
"Like when something scares her," Mikoto decides to add.
"Ha, maybe she saw how messy Shizuru's room was," Reito chuckles. Shizuru glares at him and gives him a playful shove.
It turns out Reito may be as good of a cook as Mai. And the gravy was amazing! So amazing that Mikoto decided to try balancing a large spoonful of it and spin it like she does with her pencils. Of course it fails and splatters onto the table.
"Mikoto! You got it on my hand" Mai says, staring at the sauce covering her palm.
"Allow me," Reito says, and starts gently wiping it away with a napkin.
"T-T-Thank you, Reito," is all Mai can coherently say.
I look over at Shizuru sitting beside me and notice a small bit of gravy on her neck. She mustn't have noticed. Err.. what to do now? Tell her? I look over at Reito being all gentlemanly with his napkin. I look at mine. Damn, here goes. I grab my napkin and carefully bring it up towards Shizuru's neck and wipe it off. Meanwhile, I am probably as red as the lobster sitting on the table. Shizuru is surprised at first, then her expression softens and she mouths a thanks. I go back to eating. I couldn't help but sneak looks at Shizuru from the corner of my eye. Why did she have to be so perfect? She's smart, conversational, and beautiful in every way. Even the way she eats is lady-like. I sigh and look from her to Reito. They're the perfect, happy couple.
"There's this night festival going on just downtown later this month. We should all go together," Reito says. "It's a chance for you ladies to wear those nice kimonos."
"Yes! I've heard of that. It should be fun, although, Natsuki doesn't really like wearing kimonos," Mai states. It was true. I didn't like them. They're too uncomfortable when a good pair of jeans and t-shirt could do.
"Well that's too bad. They're rather nostalgic. Shizuru, here, has quite a collection of kimonos," Reito says.
My mind drifted. Shizuru in... kimono.. oh gosh. Geisha Shizuru. Ah, wipe away bad thoughts. Poke food. Concentrate on food. Gravy. On Shizuru's neck. Ahhh. Umm something else to think of. Fuck. Bacteria. Gram-positive bacteria. Agar plates. Peptidoglycan layer... cells. Think cells.
"Is something wrong, Natsuki? You seem deep in thought," Shizuru asks me.
"Uhhhh nope. Nothing wrong. Just thinking of microbiology. Yah. Gotta love them E. coli bacteria". Ah, mental forehead-slap.
Everyone laughs. She giggles. "Natsuki's very studious, I see."
After that, the five of us hung out pretty often around campus. We had quite a few classes together. It was piss raining outside one day and freezing cold. I had a ton of books with me in my backpack. I got to the library at our usual table. Mai and Reito were there, hovering over their chemistry books. Reito was animatedly explaining a reaction mechanism to Mai. Mai was smart, so she probably didn't need the help, but she liked hearing Reito explain things. When they noticed me, Reito checked the time.
"Oh! I was supposed to get Shizuru an umbrella before it started raining today. She probably just got out of her tea ceremony class and is waiting for me," he says.
I look back outside. Fuck, it's raining hard. How could he forget about Shizuru? I was mad at him on the inside, even though I know that it's normal for these things to slip your mind.
He continued, "But if I go back, I'll be late for my club meeting soon."
I look down at myself. I was already soaked and had an umbrella in my hand. "I can go. Where is she?"
"Ah, thank you, Natsuki. I owe you one. She will be just at the main engineering building. Thanks, again, Natsuki."
Main engineering building... that's across campus! Greeeat.
I drop my bag of books in front of Mai and tell her to watch them for me. She tells me good luck with a wink. Then I get outside and start running. The less time I was in this weather, the better. In about 10 minutes of constant running, I managed to get my entire body, head to toe, soaked in rain. My socks felt like boiled cabbage... without the heat, of course. I got to the building and noticed Shizuru standing, waiting inside. I got in and caught my breath, before managing a "Hey... I have an umbrella." And then give her a quick smile.
"Natsuki! Did you run here? Your clothes are all wet. You should've just stayed with Mai and Reito! I would have been okay," she said to me in a slightly scolding tone. I guess she noticed that I was a little disappointed at her reaction, so she looked up to my eyes, and softly whispered, "but thank you". I could've died happy then, with the way she was looking at me. But then I noticed that she didn't have a jacket. She was just wearing a blouse and a skirt, as usual. "You're going to get cold out there," I said.
"We can just go to my house then. It's closer than going to the library to meet up with Mai and Reito," she says. I figure Mai can take care of my books. She'll forgive me.
We get to the house, and the lights are all off. The power must have gone out. Shizuru brings me upstairs and she tells me to get out of my clothes. Did she just say that? I stare at her for a second.
She laughs when she realizes why I'm looking at her strangely. "Natsuki, you need to wear dry clothes. Otherwise you'll get sick." Oh. Right. Sometimes my brain fails me.
She searches through her closet and finds me some flannel pyjamas and a white bathrobe. Sheepishly, I take them and change in the washroom. When I get out, I notice that Shizuru has changed to a robe-like sleeping outfit. She sneezes and I realize that the short walk to her house in the cold must have gotten her sick.
Then her phones rings. She looks at it. It's a text.
She tells me, "Reito and Mai are going to your house and Reito will probably sleep over there because the storm isn't stopping soon. Natsuki, I think you should sleep over here then."
"If you don't mind, I guess so," I say. Damn, alone with Shizuru. I better not make a fool of myself. I look at the time. It was almost 8. Maybe she didn't have dinner. Shizuru sneezes again. I tell her that I'll cook up some soup for her. At least, I could do that. After dinner, Shizuru asks me what I wanted to do. I didn't really know, so I look around. Is that... no, it can't be. Playstation! I think she saw that I was staring at it, and told me that I could play it, if I felt like it.
And so for the next hour or so, I was caught up in videogames. Ah, this is the life. I look over at Shizuru who looks pretty bored.
"Uh, Shizuru. Did you want to play against me?"
"Natuski is very good. I don't think I could compare."
I hand her the second controller anyway.
Let's just say I was beyond shocked. Two minutes in and it was "K.O.!!!! Winner!" Shizuru had beaten me with the lousiest character in the game. How did that happen? I stare at Shizuru, who yawns gracefully, and states, "I guess I am a natural. But Natsuki was good competition." And she smiles with her head tilted to the side.
Later that night, I realized Shizuru was getting tired. So we decided to get ready to sleep. Shizuru told me that I could use her bed and that she would just sleep in the lounge room on the sofa. I protested, of course, and offered to switch. She insisted. And there was no way I could change her mind.
So I'm lying in Shizuru's massive bed. And I can't sleep, even a wink. My thoughts are going crazy. Shizuru... Ah, stop. I need to just sleep right now. I roll onto my side. Sleep, Natsuki. Count sheep. Or puppies. My brain's too active for sleep. Maybe I just need a glass of milk. Yeah, that's what Mikoto does to cool down her hyperactivity at the end of the day. I sneak out of Shizuru's room as quietly as I could and head downstairs to pour myself a glass. I'm sure Shizuru and Reito won't mind a little bit of missing milk. When I'm done, I tip toe back upstairs. Shizuru's sleeping in the lounge room. Maybe I could just check on her. I peak into the room through the slightly ajar door. Her back is turned towards me. I sneak in and look at her. She's beautiful when she sleeps, I notice. Her hair is perfectly spread onto the pillow and her face looks so soft. But then I notice that she's shivering. It was pretty cold in her house. Add that to her being sick. I'm an idiot. I should've made her sleep in her own room. At least it had warm blankets. Now what? I can't just leave her like this. So I bend down and scoop her up gently into my arms. Gee, she's pretty light. How awkward would it be if she woke up just now. She would think I was kidnapping her or something, eh heh. I carry her out of the lounge room and head towards her room. My shin scrapes on the corner of her bed frame. Fuck. Shit. It hurts. Son of a.... a string of swear words run through my mind as I place Shizuru down. I tuck her in and am about to go back to the lounge room to sleep. But a hand stops me. Shizuru was holding onto my hand. Wait, she's awake now? I turn back to her and through the darkness I can see her sitting up and looking back at me.
"Natsuki. Stay. Please, sleep here," she pleads.
Ummm. Yeah. So I slide myself under the sheets back onto the bed. To say I was uncomfortable for the next couple of hours is an understatement. I couldn't sleep. I just lay there, my mind frozen. I could hear Shizuru sleeping contently. At least she wasn't shivering anymore. Man, this is going to be a long night.
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My name is Fujino Shizuru. And I have a crush. A big one. On Kuga Natsuki. Where to begin? Kuga Natsuki is the epitome of cute. Although she gives off a cold exterior, there is no denying that Natsuki is the girl of my dreams. The secretly-soft type. If only she was my rebel. I suppose I should start on the first day of my second year of high school - the day that I met 4 interesting people. My first class was French. I sat down beside a red-headed girl who was talking adamantly to a dark-haired girl on her other side. She notices me and waves. She smiles wide and introduces herself as Mai, and her friend, Mikoto. We talk for a while and she is quite entertaining and fun to listen to. My next class was science and that was where I met Kanzaki Reito. I could tell all the girls in that class had their eyes locked on him. He was handsome and charming. Anyone could see that. But he noticed my Kyoto accent while I was talking to another girl beside me and introduced himself. It turned out that he was in Kyoto the past year so we talked about that.
During lunch break, as I walked through the halls, I could hear someone playing the piano in the music room. It was a beautiful, fast-paced song. I turn the corner to see two girls trying to peak through the window of the music room door.
"So talented," one of them says.
"Kuga-san plays so well. Soooo hot," the other says.
They look behind and see me looking at them curiously. They then scurry off giggling and talking about how they wished this Kuga-san would date them. I scoff. But decide it wouldn't hurt to find out who the talented pianist was. I look through the window. I was expecting to see some tall, handsome boy. The Reito-type. Instead, I see a girl with long dark hair, focused on the sheet music in front of her. I don't know how long I was staring. But then she misses a note in the song and slams the keys and swears. I smile. Cute. The bell rings and I hurry back to class.
At the end of classes that day, I was walking to my locker when I noticed someone standing casually beside it. It was Kuga Natsuki. She looked like she was waiting for someone. I couldn't be me, of course. She doesn't know me. I take a deep breath, and then arrive at my locker. For some reason, I was a little bit nervous and couldn't concentrate on my lock with Natsuki standing right there. I drop one of my books at her feet and immediately feel embarrassed. She picked it up and casually handed it to me. I looked at her face. She really was cute. Mai arrived then and I made the connection that Natsuki had been waiting for her. I blush at how adorable Natsuki is when she introduces herself to me. For such a popular person, she really was shy. Reito came by and we decide to leave together, since we lived in the same area.
Days went by, and I learned new things about Natsuki from Mai in my French class. The way Mai talked about Natsuki seemed as if she liked her. I couldn't blame her. Natsuki was admired by many, although she didn't seem to care or was completely oblivious. She was on sports teams, extremely smart and played the piano often. I was becoming one of the Kuga fangirls. I could tell.
Reito became my best friend. He made me feel more at home when he talked about Kyoto. I noticed, though, on some days he wouldn't talk much and instead doodled on a piece of paper. One day I saw what he was sketching. It was a cursive script of "Mai". It was another day when we were enjoying bubble tea at the shop near the school that he confessed that he had an interest in Mai. I told him I might like Natsuki. We laughed together about our sudden confessions. But we were both a little sad because it seemed like Natsuki and Mai were together. Reito and I went out a lot after, as good friends, someone to confide in. People must have thought that we were dating because we were always together. Each day at school, I would sit in the classroom beside the music room at lunch and listen to Natsuki play. Sometimes, Reito would come too. And each day, as I walked up to my locker and saw Natsuki waiting for Mai, I was happy to see her but jealous that Mai was the one she was waiting for – not me.
It was near the end of our last year of high school that everyone was deciding which universities to go to. I was accepted to many of the top schools, even overseas. My parents wanted to me to study in the United States because the schools were very prestigious. Reito, being smart, but lacking the attitude to translate his intelligence to getting high marks on tests, was still waiting on some acceptance letters. In French class, Mai and Mikoto were excited. They both got into Tokyo U. and were set on it. I asked them about Natsuki, making it sound casual, although, I was really concerned about where she went. They said that Natsuki received a lot of offers from really amazing schools, but because she couldn't afford to travel far, she was going to Tokyo U. as well. It was then that I had my mind made up. I was going to Tokyo University too. I told Reito that Mai was going there, and the days that followed, Reito had a sudden change in study habits. He spent long hours in the library, looking over his notes and even re-writing them. Eventually, by the end of the year, he was getting 100s consistently. And one day, he did get his Tokyo U. acceptance in the mail and I could tell he was beyond pleased.
And so we all went to the same university. But it wasn't until second year that Natsuki was finally in my class. I came up to her and noticed that she was still as adorable as ever, looking naturally cool and handsome in her own way, but still not talkative. Reito and I decided to have them over for dinner, hoping that it would help us all become closer. And closer, it did. So close, I thought, as Natsuki was sitting on my bed beside me. It was then that I couldn't help but want to kiss her. Just once to show her how I felt about her. But we were interrupted by Reito. I mentally cursed myself for not going all the way with it.
I wanted to have Natsuki alone with me. And maybe then, I could have my first kiss, I hoped. It wasn't until one morning, after a stormy night, that it finally happened...
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I woke up to bright light hitting my eyes. Ugh. Why did I have to wake up? It's so cozy here. But then I feel a weight on my chest. I look down and my eyes go wide. It's Shizuru, lying comfortably on me. I freeze up and the memories from what went on the other day fly through my mind. Yeah, that's right. Nothing happened. We just fell asleep. And I guess she decided to use me as a pillow sometime in the night. My slight shifting must have wakened her up, because her eyes flutter for a second, before going wide. She blushes and looks up at me. And I blush back, not knowing if I should say something. Good morning? or Hey, how's it going? We stare at each other for a second, before she hurriedly gets off of me and sits up, looking down at the bed, embarrassed.
"I'm sorry, Natsuki, it's just that... " She looks at me again. "Thank you for taking care of me."
Then we lock eyes and I stare at how beautiful she looks just then with pinked cheeks and her being more shy than me for once, in the bright morning light. Then Shizuru's eyes move to looking at my lips. She starts moving forward to me, and my heart starts racing like never before. She pauses halfway to me, and looks back into my eyes before she closes her own eyes and continues moving forward.
She kisses me on the lips.
It only lasts for about a second, but that second felt like the longest blank-out my mind has ever experienced. I turn red instantly, as she pulls away, biting her bottom lip while avoiding my gaze. Then it hits me. Oh. God. Shizuru just kissed me. This is for real. I don't know what to say. Did she mean it? Was I supposed to kiss her back? The hell, brain, think of something. Not microbiology.
Then suddenly, we hear two knocks on the door before Mai swings the door open, and yells, "Wakey. Wakey!" She then sees me on the bed, and Shizuru just hovering over me. We both stare, surprised at her. "Oh, whoops" May says, before quickly closing the door and running off. I guess she and Reito came back here to check on us. I scamper off the bed and grab my, now dry, clothes from the other day to change in the washroom quickly. As I'm practically running out of Shizuru's room, Shizuru says, "Natsuki, wait...". But I'm out of the room too quick.
While changing in the bathroom, I don't know what I'm thinking. I just needed to get out. Why did Shizuru just do that?! I mean, yeah, it felt nice. Fuck. She has a boyfriend. Fuck. I wonder what Mai's probably thinking now. Maybe that I took advantage of Shizuru? God, I just need to get out of here. When I'm changed, I leave the pyjamas Shizuru lent me folded neatly on the counter and run out of the house, quickly passing by Mai. I walk back to my house, with my head full of thoughts.
Later that day, I explain to Mai what happened. Mai says, "Natsuki, you idiot! You probably hurt her feelings, leaving like that. Oh my god, does Reito know? What if they're in a fight now. And you're the cause of it, Natsuki. But then again, Shizuru shouldn't have kissed you in the first place. I wonder..."
Leave it to Mai to make me feel worse.
During class, it was sufficiently awkward. Shizuru would sit at one end of our row of friends, and I would sit at the other. The tension in the air was intense. I think Mikoto could sense it, because she tried asking me if there was anything wrong with me and Shizuru. From down the row, Shizuru looked at me then, as I answered, "Uhhhhh no." Shizuru then looked away, with a frown, before talking to Reito.
Later that week, I'm sitting at home, having a mayo sandwich.
"You should talk to Shizuru, maybe, " Mai says. "Why don't you ask her to the night festival? That way, you and Shizuru can talk. Don't worry about Reito, I'll take care of him."
I think about it. Maybe I could. But that would require me going up to Shizuru and talking about what happened before.
I decide the next day to talk to Shizuru after chemistry. At the end of class, everyone packs up and is ready to leave, waiting on me and Shizuru to finish up. I tell the others to go ahead without me. Mikoto and Reito give a questioning stare, but Mai tugs them away. Shizuru looks at them, and then looks at me, confused as to why.
"Shizuru, I was... well, I thought maybe, if it's okay with you. If uh... you wanted to go to the night festival, thing." I scratch the back of my head, and look at anything but her.
"Natsuki , I would – "
"I mean, I understand if you don't want to! If you go with Reito and all, that's okay. He is your boyfriend after all." I cut her off.
"Natsuki, what makes you think – "
"And yeah, I understand if you don't particularly like me after what happened that morning. Um yeah. And – "
She kisses me on the cheek really quick. I stop and feel all melty inside. Waaaaait.
"Natsuki, I'm sorry. But you just needed to stop for a second. First, I would love to go with you. And second, Reito's not my boyfriend, and third, I forgive you for leaving that day."
I smile really big that she said yes. But then it hit me. Reito's not Shizuru's boyfriend?! "He's not?" I say.
Shizuru smirks. "He's my best friend. I guess in high school everyone thought we were dating because we spent a lot of time together".
"Okay then," I say. Revelation of the century. Wait til Mai hears this. "Well, um, I guess I'll see you on Sunday then. I guess we could meet up at the festival, seeing as Mai, Reito, and Mikoto are going too, we could all meet up." I then realize that I probably should've said that I would pick her up at her house and that we could walk together, but she didn't seem to mind, and said okay. I realize I've been scratching my head the whole time and stop. We say our goodbyes and I feel suddenly very happy.
It was Sunday night. I opted for a nice pair of black jeans and a button-up shirt. Mikoto and Mai were wearing kimonos. They looked good, but it just wasn't my thing to wear kimonos. We were waiting for Shizuru and Reito to arrive. I looked down at myself. I hope I didn't look too out of place. There were lots of people not in traditional wear, I convinced myself. Shizuru will probably be wearing a kimono. Geisha Shizuru I suddenly remember. Damn, nosebleed. For some reason, Mai looked nervous. She was constantly moving, and her eyes were scanning all the time. Then, Mikoto, as usual, points out that she sees Shizuru and Reito and that they were coming here. I couldn't see them through the crowd.
Mai suddenly grabs me. "I'm sorry, Natsuki." And before I knew it, she had her lips pressed against mine. I didn't know what was up. My eyes were wide. I push Mai off, and out of the corner of my eye, I see her – Shizuru. Shizuru just saw that happen. She was beside Reito, far enough that they couldn't hear us, but close enough to see. Her expression was one of shock. And then she turned around and ran. Fuck. "Dammit Mai! What was that for?!" I hissed loudly.
"I needed to see if Reito would get jealous. You told me he wasn't seeing Shizuru, right? I'm sorry, I wanted to see"
I glare at Mai. What a stupid idea. Man, now I have to find Shizuru. I run in the direction of Reito and he's just standing there frozen. Fuck, where did she go? I scan the crowd. Everyone's moving, it's too hard to look over everyone. I run around, probably looking crazy to anyone who sees me. This isn't working. I have to logic this out. Where would Shizuru go? I scan. There's a lot of carnival games, craft shops, lantern shops. Ugh. What now? I turn around. Temple? Better than nothing. I run there and as I get further from the festival, it gets quieter, until it's just the sound of me running. I walk up the temple steps. Shizuru, are you here? I walk around. And then I see her. Her light hair tied up, a beautiful purple kimono, but her face in her hands. She wasn't crying. She was just kneeling down, deep in thought.
"Shizuru?" She doesn't answer me. I sit down.
"Look, that wasn't what you think it was. Mai... she just pulled that out on me. I wasn't expecting it or anything".
Silence. I figure that it's probably best to just sit here and wait until she's ready to say something. Anything.
It was quite some time until she finally looked up. By then, there were fireworks going off in the distance from the festival. We watch them, not saying a word.
"Natsuki."
"Yeah?"
"I'm sorry. I got scared. I thought you were with Mai. I don't know what made me act like that. Because... well, I..."
And then she said, in a soft whisper, "I like you, Natsuki".
I look at her. She's staring at me. She looks scared, like I'm going to push her away. But really, my mind is just trying to process what she just said. Did she really just say that? How many times did I imagine her saying that to me. And it just happened. I blush.
"Thanks, I guess." That's what I say. Yes. Way to go, Natsuki. Way to say the lamest thing ever.
Shizuru turns her head away. Yeah, that was definitely not the right thing to say.
"Shizuru, I like you too." I finally say as I scratch the back of my head.
And with that, I bring my hand to her chin, causing her to face me again. Then I go in for the kiss, nervous and excited as hell. But it was definitely worth it.