A/N: My husband prompted this. I blame all ensuing crack on him.
Originally posted on Tumblr.
It wasn't a bad solution. Or it didn't seem to be. First appearances, however, are well known to be deceiving.
It hadn't taken the Autobots long to realize that sending Defensor out missing an arm constantly was a less than ideal scenario. First Aid's role as a medic often kept him away from his gestalt, though, and that left Defensor with having to fight one-handed more often than not.
Unsurprisingly, Wheeljack was the one to solve it. He used a modified version of the Decepticons' clone synthesizer, had Perceptor tweak the programming so that the clone could be controlled by a simple sub-routine in the original's cortex, and set Defensor loose on the Decepticons with a prosthetic arm.
Chaos ensued.
Apparently, merging was critical. Defensor simply didn't relate to the clone without it. So the clone was repaired, upgraded, the coding and subroutine was bumped up a notch, and in the next battle the First Aid medic clone was running around on the ground while the original dealt out damage as Defensor's left arm.
Of course, that's not where the story ends…
"So why can't Superion fly? I mean, you're all jets?"
Blades looked at Slingshot, who looked at Air Raid, who looked at the human.
"Well, yeah," Raider said, "but he's really heavy, you know? Besides," and here he took a swig of his energon to buy himself some time, "it's not like we're even all pointing in the same direction when we're combined. And our wings aren't horisontal, either. Which is kind of necessary, since planes kind of need air under those wings to fly. Not like rotaries, creating their own downdrafts."
"So…" the little human continued. "If you were all helicopters, could you fly then?"
Air Raid looked at Blades. Slingshot looked at Blades.
Blades grinned.
"This is a bad idea," Hot Spot hissed.
Blades shrugged. "Of course it is. It's mine. That doesn't mean it won't work, though. Besides, wouldn't it be nice to know? Imagine a fully functional Defensor, even with just half the gestalt! The flying thing is a bonus, really, but think of the strategic advantage!"
"All I'm thinking of and imagining is how furious Ratchet will be when you slag us both to the pit," Hot Spot grumbled, but he walked over to the control panel. "Oh, all right then. Get into the scanning chamber."
Blades grinned and positioned himself. The tell-tale humming began.
"Three clones," Hot Spot muttered. "You're insane."
"Maybe, but that's why you love me!" Blades called out cheekily from inside the chamber.
"Do you even have the processing power to direct all three of them?"
"I guess we'll find out!" was the less than reassuring answer. "Anyway, you're the one who keeps telling me that I'm not using my head, so there should be power to spare, shouldn't there?"
The humming ceased, and Blades stepped out. He turned expextantly towards the cloning chamber.
Three clones stepped out, one after the other.
"Whoa," Blades breathed. "Freaky."
"Very," Hot Spot agreed.
"You guys done yet? Silverbolt wants me to - oh. Wow." The rest of Slingshot followed his head inside. "Freaky."
"That's what I said," all of Blades replied in chorus, and Slingshot stared.
"Okay, then let's get out of here," Hot Spot said, shutting the machine down. "Can you control them individually?"
All of Blades smirked. "Head…"
"Shoulders…"
"Knees…"
"And toes, knees and toes!"
Slingshot laughed. Hot Spot facepalmed.
Walking out of the Ark as four identical copies (and Slingshot and Hot Spot) went better than any of them could have expected. The fact that it was in the small hours in the morning and that Inferno had been bribed to keep Red Alert busy probably helped.
"Back there," plural Blades said. "Behind the hill."
"I'll keep a look out," Slingshot said, grinning in the dark. "Good luck."
Hot Spot sighed, again. Then he followed all of Blades to he secluded spot behind the hill.
"Come on!" Blades #3 said.
"Let's do this already!" #2 added.
Hot Spot, being the leader that he was, took charge. "Okay, let's do this."
The torso came first. Then the original Blades, slotting in place as the right arm. Blades #2, #3 and #4 finished up the transformation.
Then the problems began.
First off, Defensor both sounded and acted as though he was more than half asleep. Secondly, despite the fact that all his slots were filled, he stubbornly claimed that he was missing an arm and both legs, and was in essence barely functional and should dismantle again, thank you. Thirdly, and not unexpectedly, the original Blades lacked the processor capacity to direct three giant limbs outside himself. This resulted in several dangerous episodes, such as Defensor punching himself in the head instead of taking a step, and legs that couldn't actually settle on one shape.
Through it all, Slingshot was laughing so hard he ended up rolling on the ground and had to dart aside to not be stepped on.
Blades would later place as much blame for their discovery as possible on Slingshot being a really bad look-out. More likely, though, the fact that the other three Protectobots had been dragged out of recharge by a terrified gestalt mind was responsible for the Prime, Prowl, Silverbolt, Wheeljack and Ratchet all bearing down on their location as Defensor finally gave up and came apart.
The question of Defensor's flight capabilities went unanswered (though based on his utter failure to manage anything else, it was suspected that he was very definitely a grounder).
Unfortunately for the three of them, Hot Spot's prediction of Ratchet's reaction was eerily accurate. The others had been just as bad. All together, it was enough to ensure brig time for the foreseeable future for Blades and Slingshot, while Hot Spot was doomed to stay under Prowl's watchful optics at all times (he wasn't entirely sure that he wouldn't have preferred brig time). Defensor, on his part, was so shaken by his ordeal that Superion was the only combiner for the next three battles. He also vehemently refused to combine with any clone again.
All in all, it could have been worse.