Show Me The Meaning Of Being Lonely

by Furor Scribiendi

Sequel to 'No More Drama'. Arigatou minna for having patience with me esp. Princess of Darkness. The remaining loose ends have been tied up with the remaining couples. Is HIGHLY recommended that 'No More Drama' be read first or you may not get this fic.

Show Me The Meaning Of Being Lonely

WARNING: I wrote this at my friend's urging *hint hint you know who you are* seeing as how she deemed the other one as far too depressing with the suicide at the end, so here you are my friend; I have no idea of how this one will turn out. You have been forewarned!!

Song: Show Me The Meaning Of Being Lonely - Backstreet Boys

~*~
Show me the meaning of being lonely
So many words for the broken heart
It's hard to see in a crimson love
So hard to breathe
Walk with me, and maybe
Nights of life so soon become
Wild and free I could feel the sun
Your every wish will be done
They tell me…
~*~

Phoebe looked out the window to see the bright blue ocean traveling beneath her sparkling with the sun. She had been so hard pressed for time before but now she had the world of it. With a sigh she looked back down at her book; this was a very long and boring flight.

"Hey Phoeb; you bored?"

She glanced to the side to see Naomi look at her with a worried expression. "No I'm fine. Just thinking about what the hell to do when we get there; what should we do when we get there?"

"I dunno." Naomi laughed before falling silent suddenly. "Odelle would know if she was here."

"Don't worry. I told them to call my cell; if something, anything, happens, we'll know from Elizabeth or the hospital."

"You're right. We should enjoy ourselves……get our lives back somehow. We all need it."

"Yeah. We all do." she looked out the window again, falling silent.

"Phoebe?"

"Yes Naomi?" she asked with a smile; now her friend decided to be talkative.

"Do you think we can get massages at the resort?"

Phoebe looked at her for a few seconds before she chuckled. "Yeah. Did I mention that we get room service as well? Not to mention full buffet meals?"

"Excellent. This is going to be one good vacation. I'm glad you were able to take time off to do this."

"Yeah well……you know... the hospital can survive without me for three weeks. Dr. Morton is completely qualified."

"I thought you said he was a jackass."

"He is. But he's competent. Enough said." she paused. "Although I'd like to see him manage a compound fracture on a child."

Naomi chuckled. "He won't be able to get the kid to shut up!!"

"I know. Naomi……this vacation idea of yours was a good idea."

"Yeah……when we get back it's our shift so Elizabeth and Hannah can take off."

"God, they'll probably go to Vegas and gamble themselves into poverty. Hannah would be at the craps table while Miss Elizabeth is playing roulette."

"And we won't be wiring them any money." Naomi sank back into the seat. "Hmm…first class seats……so comfy."

"Yup. I figured nothing but the best for this vacation."

"Where did you go last time?" Naomi looked at her.

"To Paris…with Zechs."

"Oh…I'm really sorry to have-"

"It's all right Naomi." she paused. "But still……I just don't know."

"He did break your heart pretty rough huh?"

"We all have those Naomi; we all do. It's healing them that's the tough part."

"Hmm…that's where chocolate comes in handy." she pressed a button.

"Can I help you Miss?" asked a steward.

"Some chocolates please, for my friend and I."

"Coming right up." the man said before disappearing.

"Naomi!! We're not supposed to be eating chocolates now! It's almost dinner; we'll ruin our appetites!!"

"Oh, quit acting like such a doctor!!" she scolded as the steward came back with their food. "We're on vacation; eat whatever the hell you want and don't worry about it. So what if you gain five pounds? Lord knows you run around that hospital so much that you'll lose it in a week."

Phoebe opened her mouth to try and protest, but nothing came. "Why do you have to be right?"

"Moms know best."

She chuckled opening a package. "Have you told him yet?"

"No. Every time I try I freeze; I know what I want to say, but I look at him and I see what I did, how I ruined the joy and the happiness……and I can't. I just can't."

"It's all right; you'll tell him when the time is right…but not too late!" she admonished. "Chocolate?" she offered her a bag.

"Thanks." Naomi took the bag pausing for a moment. "I'm two months along."

"That's good. No problems?"

"Nope."

"Been getting enough folic acid in your diet? Is your diet-"

"Hey!!" Naomi protested as Phoebe took the bag from her hand. "What was that for?"

"You are eating for two now and you haven't been eating very well lately."

"Yes I have!!"

"Naomi you've been living at my place!! I see what you eat for breakfast!! So you are going to eat the meal that comes first; then you can have some chocolate."

Naomi gave her a petulant look. "Are you going to be like this during the entire vacation?"

Phoebe simply smirked. "Oh would you look at that? Here come the dinners."

She tried her best to not laugh as Naomi gave the tray a skeptical look before she poked it with her fork. "What if it tastes awful?"

"I highly doubt that. Now eat up."

"I think you enjoyed that far too much for your own good Mrs. Marquise."

"Hn." she turned to her own tray.

The cabin was filled with the quiet sounds of eating, but Phoebe felt as if she wasn't very hungry. Mrs. Marquise……she was that, Zechs' wife. Even now, she still remembered the night she found out, he had actually found her, looked for her in the city. He'd shown up at the hotel room dripping wet, and she had listened to his words……so many and few words. Words……did they, could they, still have something to erase the pain she felt inside? For him and for her?

*******************

Turning the handle, the door swung open silently to reveal a cool interior. Zechs walked in slowly, pushing the door shut and locking it. Weary, he headed for his study briefcase full of work. That was how he was dealing with it; plenty of work. Drown in it; never resurface……never feel the regret and sorrow of his inane actions. He felt it every day, deep inside. Work…her picture form happier times sat on his desk, a source of joy and pain. At home in the condo, even though all her things were gone, he could still catch the faint scent of her perfume, a lingering reminder. It was all the little things that were making this hell.

"These reports aren't going to finish themselves off." he muttered, switching on the computer and opening his briefcase.

Soon enough he was lost in his work intent and bent. He barely heard the knock on his front door.

They'll go away whoever it is. He continued typing away.

"Come on Zechs open up!! We know you're in there!!"

He fell back in his chair with a groan; better he go answer the door before they broke it down. "Hang on." opening the door, he was greeted by Duo and Heero.

"See? I told you he was here. If he's not at the office, he's here." Duo said a bit too cheerily for Zechs' taste.

"What do you guys want? I have a lot of work to do." if you counted the six reports that he was practically done.

"For starters, this was his idea as well as Hannah's. I'm just as much a victim as you." Heero stated.

Zechs arched an eyebrow, looking at the braided Duo. "Victim of what?"

"We're going out for a night on the town. Come on!! I know you're just saying that you have a ton of work."

"Funny thing for you to say." Zechs stated dryly.

Heero coughed discreetly earning a slight glare from Duo as well as a smack.

"Ha ha. I learned my lesson, just like all of us. So come on; quit moping and get out there!!"

"Just why is he so cheery?" he asked Heero.

"I guess Elizabeth gave him a call or something."

Zechs rolled his eyes. "Or did he eat too much sugar?"

"Thankfully it's not both; one of the two."

"Hn. Really you guys go; I'm going to finish up by twelve probably and go to sleep."

"Hannah's expecting a report."

Heero's quiet words made him pause; she was just as determined as Heero, worse sometimes. And you didn't really want her checking up on you sometimes.

"Where are we going?" he asked with a sigh.

"Ask Duo."

"Never mind; think I'd rather be surprised." he muttered. "Just hang on and I'll be out in a few minutes. Have a seat." he gestured for them to come in.

A quick shower and change of clothes later, Zechs found himself in the backseat of a speeding car. Soon enough he saw all the bright neon lights bleeding together; just great they were-

"And we're here!" Duo exclaimed as he pulled into a parking spot.

"Here again?" asked Heero.

"It's a cool place, don't knock it."

"And also loud." Zechs said as he got out of the car; he could hear the music blaring through the front door and closed windows.

"What are you going to do? The place is popular." Duo shrugged before heading for the door.

With an exasperated sigh, Zechs and Heero followed wincing slightly at the volume. The sports bar was crowded and noisy and-

"Here we are." Duo slid in to an empty booth easily. "Would you guys have a seat? We're here to relax."

Zechs shot him a look of incredulity before he sat down, Heero sliding in after him. "Relax with so much noise? I should have stayed at home."

"And bury yourself in 'work'? Nope, you need a breather my friend. A long breather; you've been doing it for a month straight."

"So?"

"Here comes Duo speech. He's gotten as bad as Wufei."

"I heard that Heero. Somebody got to take his place; who better than the talkative baka?" Duo flashed him a smirk; he'd taken his role and he'd do it justice.

"What am I going to be lectured on now? My eating habits? My sleep? The amount of time I spend at the office?" Zechs sighed.

"All of the above and then some. You can't keep it up Zechs; I'm surprised you're not a walking talking zombie right about now. You barely eat, get practically no sleep and the time you spend at the office, whoo! Let's not go there."

"Work's been very demanding lately. We just started a new advertising campaign and I'm not letting some new recruit fuck it up and let it go to hell."

"Well……you do escape in that department; you guys have a catchy new jingle. But still, it's not good for you; you're a ticking time bomb waiting to go off. What would-" Duo hastily shut his mouth.

"Phoebe say?" he finished. "She'd say that I'm wearing myself down and I should stop before I burn out completely. Take a vacation or something to relieve stress a bit." he paused. "Just what the doctor ordered."

Silence descended for a bit at the table before Heero spoke.

"Have you talked to her since the hospital?"

"Only once." he paused. "She was right…we need this time apart to set things straight for ourselves. See things clearly."

"Do you?" asked Duo.

"Crystal clear; I was the jackass. I deserve what I'm going through right now. But sometimes I wish……" he fell silent.

"We all wish Zechs." came Heero's quiet words. "Look, I'm going to go; this place isn't me."

"Wait up." Zechs said following him.

"You guys are going to leave me here?" came Duo's wail.

Zechs didn't even bother to answer simply glad to be out of that loud place. "This is much better. For starters no Duo."

Heero flashed him a look as they walked down the street. "And no noisy place."

"Hm." Zechs fell silent as they walked down the bright neon filled street. "How is Hannah doing?"

"She's fine. Wants to get a pet though……a dog."

"She wants a dog? What breed?"

"I don't know. We're going to start looking on the weekend."

"You actually want to get a dog?"

"Yeah. It's a good idea. The house won't be so quiet."

"Oh." Zechs knew full well he meant that the house wouldn't be so empty instead. "Going to head home now?"

"Yeah. I'll just tell Hannah the night went well…….you actually got out of the condo…did stuff."

"Thank you Heero. I know this isn't really your thing."

"Could you tell?"

"No." he chuckled a bit. "Heero…do you ever find yourself wishing that things turned out differently sometimes?"

"Yeah. Everything was so red and…..rosy before. And it all got shot in a month. Look at where Odelle ended up of all the places."

"Poor girl. She'll get better…when she's ready."

"Hn. Things have to get better now. They have to."

"The first bit of optimism I've seen from Heero Yuy. This has been a night."

Heero shot him a look. "The first and only time for you. When Phoebe coming back?"

"A day or two; by tomorrow or Friday the latest." he paused. "I just want to forget the whole thing ever happened and be happy again…but I know it won't happen like that."

"Try talking to her again."

"I can…but I don't know if that helps much. By now she's bleeding as much as me. She hides it far better." he paused. "Any bet she'll come back looking like some tanned goddess that will never grant me mercy."

Heero repressed a quiet snicker. "A tanned goddess?"

"Shut up. I've heard some of your names for Hannah."

"Like?"

"You want me to say it in public? Brave man; I seem to recall the 'slightly' inebriated words of 'My fire that always'-"

"Point made. Well, leave her a message or meet her at the airport, just talk to her. I know you two still feel the same for one another. The time apart has done nothing but emphasize that."

"Hmm. I suppose I could…...talk to her and hope for the best."

"Now you're getting the picture."

"What? Determination?"

"You're getting it. If anything a trip to the Bahamas may have relaxed her a bit, so you probably stand a better chance. Besides I'm sick of seeing you like this and I don't want to see it for another month."

"Nice to see that you care Heero."

"Don't push you luck."

"Hmm." Zechs paused by the bus stop. "I'm going to take the bus home. I'll see you later Heero."

"Later?"

Zechs laughed as the bus pulled up. "And you won't be dragged back with Hannah?"

"Hn." a look crossed his face as he turned away, the bus doors closing.

Zechs took a seat with a sigh. The sooner he got home the sooner he could go to sleep and think about what he was going to say to Phoebe when he saw her.

*******************

Phoebe stepped off of the gang walk feeling loose and happy. "Naomi we gotta do that again sometime. That was the best vacation ever!!"

"See? You should try taking one more often. Good way to relieve stress."

"Now who's the doctor?" she laughed. "Come on let's go and get our bags."

"Um…Phoebe?

"What?"

"There."

Looking in the direction she was pointing, she saw Zechs simply standing there. Zechs…. she had missed him so much during her vacation but she wouldn't think of that now, she would say all that she had to say soon. The sight of him made her want to run and hug him tight, but she restrained herself.

"Think I'll go and get my luggage." Naomi said slipping away tactfully.

"Hi Phoebe. Did you enjoy your vacation?" he asked walking up.

"Yeah. I actually feel relaxed for one of the few times in my life. How about you? Have you just been working?"

"A bit too much for my own good; even Hannah and Duo tried to intervene."

She cleared her throat slightly; that must have gone over well. "Hmm. So what are you doing here? Last I heard you were practically living at the office."

"The condo feels too empty. It's only me in there. It's a big place; I never realized that before."

Phoebe fell silent. She had moved out into her old apartment, she had kept it for use since it was so close to the hospital. She found that she did prefer the condo much more; the apartment had seemed so dead.

"I was wondering if I could talk to you. Someplace less…crowded perhaps?"

Phoebe looked at him the corners of her mouth tugging. "And why do you have that look on your face Zechs?"

"What look?

"The look you get whenever you remember something unpleasant. Did Duo drag you to someplace that was overcrowded?"

"Yeah. Two nights ago. Heero got dragged along too."

Phoebe smiled, trying to not imagine the look on Heero's face before she got it under control. "OK. We can talk. Let me just get my luggage and you can pick the place."

"Sounds good."

Phoebe looked at him as they walked to the carousel. He looked a bit worn down and fatigued, but otherwise perfectly fine.

"You seem a bit tired. Have you been getting enough sleep?" she asked.

"Would you believe me if I said yes?

She flashed him a smile. "No."

"I've been busy trying to finalize the last stretch of the ad campaign; it's been pretty brutal."

"You should just let a recruit handle it, but that's far beyond you. Everything has to be perfect, huh?"

"You know me far too well." he gave her a smile of his own.

"Please say you'll get some sleep tonight Zechs?"

"I will Phoebe."

A few minutes later after saying goodbye to Naomi, with a promise to call, Phoebe found herself in Zechs' car as it sped down the freeway.

"Where are we going?" she looked over at him; half an hour must have passed already.

"Somewhere. Don't be so impatient." he glanced over at her. "It's only a few more minutes away."

"All right all right." she settled back into her seat, looking out the window. It was a nice late summer day. When she got back to her apartment, she'd sit down in the solarium and read for a bit.

Eventually Zechs stopped, pulling into a small parking lot. "Here we are."

"You actually remembered how to get here?" she said surprised as she stepped out of the car.

"I won't take offense to the surprise in your voice." he chuckled. "But I did. You think I'd forget the place where we first met?

"No…but it's been so long since I've seen this place. A long time." she closed the door walking forward slowly. "How many years ago was it?"

He shrugged. "I'm not too sure. I never bothered to count."

"You didn't?"

"No. I knew right away the only precious thing came into my life that day." he replied softly.

She laughed quietly. "And you still say the same things I always liked to hear. Come on; let's find a seat."

The walked into the homey little restaurant, sitting down at the two-seater table. The waitress came and took their orders leaving them alone once more.

"It's pretty empty for a Sunday." Phoebe said glancing around.

"It's quiet though."

"No Duo chattering away huh?" she looked at him smiling. "I've really missed you Zechs."

"I've missed you too Phoebe." he paused for a moment unsure of what to say.

"Zechs?" she rested her hand on top of his; she'd go if he wasn't too sure.

"Yes?" his hand curled around hers gently.

"The reason why I really went down to the Bahamas…was to get away. I wanted to get away from you for a bit. Now, I'm not breaking up with you or anything…it's just……it's just that you were too close. Do you know how many times I found myself in front of our door? I just stood there; I didn't know whether to knock or not." she paused seeing the look on his face; he looked almost hopeful, yet wary. "Zechs…the time we spent apart…it only made me realized how much I still love you. Going away a couple thousand miles helped too. But what I'm saying is…is that I forgive you Zechs."

"You forgive me?" he repeated slowly.

She nodded, lowering her head; this part was all up to him. She couldn't bear to see the expression in his eyes if he wasn't going to say what she hoped he would say.

"Phoebe…" he raised her chin. "I don't really deserve your forgiveness, you do realize that right?"

"Yes. Now would you just say you accept it already?" she said with a small laugh, tears starting to blur her eyes slightly.

"I accept your forgiveness." he looked into her eyes. "I've really missed you Phoebe. Are you going to move back into the condo soon?"

"You must have really missed me!" she wiped at her eyes. "Practically all my clothes are in the trunk. I can come home tonight."

He smiled. "You have no idea. Or maybe you do."

"Yeah. I think I pestered Naomi far too much for my own good. She'll be glad to have some space to herself for awhile."

"Has she told Trowa yet?"

"No. But I told her that she has to before three months. She will though…in her own way."

"Hmm. I'm still not sure how he'll take it. He misses her but he's still very angry at her."

"Trowa? Angry?"

"It's more of a weary angry. Like he's stuck in a box and doesn't know how to get out."

"Hmm. They'll work it out. They have someone else's welfare on the line. They won't tamper with that." she paused. "Where's our food?"

"Don't worry about it. It'll come when it's done." he leaned forward, raising a hand to stroke her cheek.

"What?" she looked at him a bit puzzled.

"I've wanted to do that every single night for the past two months." he murmured.

"Oh?" slowly she ran her fingertips through his blond bangs. "There's plenty I've wanted to do Mr. Marquise. Plenty."

"Like what?" he asked a small smirk.

"Like this." she drew him in for a kiss.

"Oh." he said a bit breathlessly after. "So that's your intention, huh?"

"Yes. You have a problem with that?"

"None at all." he pulled her back for another one.

Phoebe sighed as she felt her cell phone vibrate. She looked at Zechs apologetically before she picked it up. "Hello?"

"Phoebe! You're not going to believe what the doctor just told me!!"

She held the phone away as Elizabeth started raving away that this couldn't be possible.

"What's she going on about so loudly?" Zechs asked. "I can hear her from here."

"I have no clue. Hang on." she put the phone back to her ear, telling Elizabeth to calm down and speak more clearly so she could understand the message.

"What's wrong?" Zechs asked rising with Phoebe as she flipped her cell shut and put it away.

"We…well I have to see Odelle." she said heading for the door.

"Is something wrong with her?"

"Come on. I'll tell you during the drive." she said as they walked out to the parking lot.

~*~
Show me the meaning of being lonely
Is this the feeling I need to walk with
Tell me why I can't be there where you are
There's something missing in my heart

Life goes on as it ever ends
Eyes of stone observe the trends
They never say forever gaze
Guilty roads to an endless love
There's no control
Are you with me now
Your every wish will be done
They tell me
~*~

Odelle looked out the tiny barred window to see the light of the sunset streaming in over head, the red light staining the entire room. Red like blood; she should have died that day, after Wufei's funeral; she would have too if Elizabeth hadn't reached her in time to wrench the gun away from her.

"I failed you airen. I failed you. I failed you..." the words were her mantra in a twisted way. All she ever derived from them was more pain and guilt……so much guilt.

She shifted a bit against the cushioned wall; the straitjacket was a bit tight but after a few of her previous suicide attempts, she was permanently stuck in one. Now she started banging her head against the wall hard, chanting the words again and again.

Maybe she did deserve this place, shut away from the world, deemed insane, an outcast from society. A faint creak at the door didn't make her stop as the person entered.

"Odelle?" it was Phoebe. "How are you doing?"

She looked at her, the face registering faintly before falling silent.

"You still talk in Chinese?"

"So?" she looked at Phoebe defensively. "You can't stop me."

"I'm not trying to."

"Who else is with you Phoeb?" she peered around, falling on to her side. "Zechs."

"Hi Odelle." he walked in to the room. "How have you been doing?"

"Meh." she looked back up to the window; the sky was pitch-black. Darkness; just like inside.

"Hey what's wrong?" Phoebe asked as tears started streaming down Odelle's face.

"Go away!" she yelled shrinking away. "Leave me alone!!"

"Odelle-"

"Just leave me alone!!!" she screamed at Phoebe making her friend back out to close the door silently.

"Alone. Alone. Alone. Alone. Alone." she cried to herself in the dark, the night enveloping her as sleep took over.

*******************

"Yeesh Elizabeth, please tell me that you were trying to play a bad joke when you said her doctor told you that." Phoebe breathed.

"Phoebe, she bloody well knocked me speechless!! Why do all these things happen whenever you guys decide to go away?! I'm always left with the end of the stick!! Why me!?"

"Just calm down Elizabeth. One of us was bound to hear it first; it just happened to be you."

"Does she even know yet?" Zechs asked.

"No. But the doctor started monitoring her meals to make sure they're 'nutritionally sound' as you are so fond of using Phoebe." Elizabeth sighed. "What I'm more concerned about is telling Quatre."

"Wonderful; he's gonna be thrilled to find out."

"What are you talking about Phoebe? He's been really supportive for Odelle." Elizabeth asked.

"Yeah, but that he's going to be a father? It can't be Wufei's baby." she paused thinking. "But it could be; we don't know just what they were doing before the accident or before she left him. Jesus, we need answers from her!!" Phoebe ran a hand through her hair in frustration. "How come we never knew before?"

"They only got to examine her yesterday. She wouldn't let herself be touched by anyone else before……well except Quatre."

"Well…someone's got to tell her. Or at least talk to her and find out. Have you called Quatre yet?"

"Umm…yeah. He said he's on his way. He does live pretty far away from here you know." Elizabeth looked between Phoebe and Zechs. "But he doesn't know yet so...who's gonna tell him? Not me!"

"I knew you'd say that." muttered Zechs. "You're like Duo far too much for your own good."

"Well do you want to tell him?" Elizabeth shot Zechs a knowing look.

"You do have a point there." he admitted.

Phoebe looked between Zechs and Elizabeth. "Yeah sure, leave it up to the doctor why don't you?" she sighed. "OK I think that Odelle should be the one to tell him if she can. Let's give her a bit more time and if she's still not any better, then we'll tell him."

"Hey Elizabeth. You called?"

Turning around Phoebe saw Quatre's blond hair, water on his jacket as he came in. "Is it raining outside?"

"Hi Phoebe. Yeah; just a drizzle. So why did you call Elizabeth?" he looked at her. "Is Odelle OK?"

"Uh…yeah. She's the same as this morning."

A puzzled look came over his face. "Then why did you call? You must have for a reason."

"Uh…well you see…" Elizabeth looked at Phoebe.

"I think you should see her. She could really use your company now." Phoebe said quickly.

"I saw her this afternoon, but if she wants to see me again then I'm fine with that." Quatre said before heading down to her room.

Phoebe watched as he walked down the hall, before she turned to Elizabeth. "There. And don't put me on the spot like that again!"

"I panicked! Can you really blame me? What was I supposed to do; blurt it all out?" Elizabeth fell silent for a few seconds. "Maybe we should have just told him."

"This is something Odelle has to do. I just hope we don't have to do it for her."

"Hmm. Do you want to stay? You can leave if you want. If you two are…um…"

"We've reconciled Elizabeth." Zechs said.

"Well there's some good news at least!" she said with mock exasperation. "Then I'll let you guys go. I'm gonna stay then leave with Quatre."

"All right then. I still have to unpack my luggage." Phoebe sighed. "Care to help me Zechs?"

Elizabeth snickered to herself hearing the meaning in Phoebe's voice. "Yeah, I bet he's really going to help you a lot."

"Of course." he smoothly replied, slipping an arm around Phoebe's waist. "Shall we go?"

"If you call, I'll kill you Elizabeth!" Phoebe yelled back at her.

Elizabeth chuckled as she watched Phoebe and Zechs walk down the hall looking so happy finally; it pained her slightly, before she brushed it away.

"Listen Elizabeth what's really going on here? Odelle's fast asleep."

Turning around, she saw Quatre, with a not too happy look on his face. "What? Nothing at all."

"Elizabeth I meant it when I said that I would be here for her but if you're gonna start to pull something like this then you won't be able to call me at any hour just like that!"

"Sorry! It was a false alarm! You don't need to bite my head off!!"

"Sorry." he muttered rubbing his face with his hands. "I didn't mean to snap at you. I mean you're here as much as me."

"Yeah, I am. You look a bit stressed; you OK?" she looked into his face. "You don't look so good."

"It's been rough. I think the economy is going to hit a recession for a bit or something. I keep going over the figures and they're pretty dismal. The newspaper is also getting extremely demanding; they want me to cover the events in South America."

"Hell I could have told you that." she sat down. "All I ever do is tell the morons down in marketing how to do their job properly. And as to South America, I say stay the hell out of there."

He plunked down into the seat beside her. "Elizabeth…is it me or does Odelle seem a bit different to you?"

"Different? How so? I'm a bit lost." she fibbed; he couldn't possibly know.

"I don't know; almost like she's……calmer."

Elizabeth exhaled a mental sigh of relief. "Yeah, she does seem a bit calmer. Not as hysterical as when she first got here."

"I'm glad to know that it's not just me." he paused. "Sometimes I think I understand how she feels."

"How so?"

"The guilt, the doubt……it's like it almost eats me alive."

"Guilt? Doubt? What are you talking about?"

"This one night I spent with her."

"One night?" Elizabeth was puzzled.

"Yeah. I really need to talk to her about it."

"You can talk to me."

Quatre shook his head. "I want to talk to her about it. No offense Elizabeth."

"None taken. I should probably head home now, it's like seven and I have an early day tomorrow."

"I'll give you a drive if you want."

"Thanks Quatre; public transportation isn't really appealing right now." Elizabeth fell in step beside him as they walked to his car. At least the rain had stopped.

"So where do you live Elizabeth?" Quatre asked as they headed down the road.

"Just up on the East side by that huge park."

"Oh. Is it nice up there?"

"You know I moved in recently and I haven't really seen it. Been far too busy doing stuff."

"Hmm. So…heard you talked to Duo the other day."

"Yeah…I needed some stuff that I forgot at his place. So I asked him to drop it off at my office."

"You didn't want him to bring it to your house?"

"No." she paused. "Look Quatre…I don't mean to pry but...is part of the reason why you feel guilty because Odelle was with you and then Wufei died soon after?"

He slid her a glance. "Partly. But there's other things that you don't know about."

"Oh."

Quatre sighed. "It also how I feel for her. And when I felt it."

"How do you feel about her?"

"I love her. Plain and simple. I really do."

"How long have you known her? One year?"

"Two and a half." he gave a brief chuckle at Elizabeth cough of surprise. "She never told you that we worked in the Middle East together for a couple of months?"

"No. Otherwise I would have known."

"We did. I fell in love with her a year afterwards, but I never did anything. I knew she was with Wufei."

"So when she turned up on your doorstep that night you couldn't do anything but help her however you could?"

"Yeeeah." he said; it was true…in a weird way. "I wasn't about to tell her that she couldn't stay or something. And there was no way I'd let her drive back in that storm."

"So she stayed the night at your place?"

"Yeah. She was really mad at Wufei. And I mean really."

"Oh…she subjected you to one of her rants, huh?" Elizabeth snickered.

"Actually I don't mind listening to them. I find them interesting."

"Interesting or 'interesting'?"

"Interesting." he fell silent.

"Don't worry Quatre, she'll get better."

He simply nodded his head concentrating on the road. Elizabeth sat back in her seat with a sigh, seeing the lights pass by in blurs. No one had said this would be easy to deal with.

*******************

Odelle looked out the window seeing the birds flying by in the clear blue sky.

"Odelle? Are you still with me?"

She looked back at her doctor. "Why won't you just leave me alone? You're becoming an very annoying baka yarro."

"Because I'm here to help you. I want to help you. You really should be out there doing your job."

"How do you know about my job?" she whispered suspiciously.

"I read the newspaper. I love your editorial column."

"Hmm. That's nice I suppose. If people want to read my crap, then who am I to stop them?"

"Why do you consider it crap?" the doctor asked, taking a small note on her pad. "When could you conceive such a thing?"

"After the accident." she whispered.

"The accident?"

"Don't ask me Dr. Hayes. I won't tell you any more." Odelle looked at her bound arms. "Is this session over now?"

"Yeah. It's over." the doctor placed her pen and pad down on her nearby desk. "Tomorrow at the same time?"

She didn't answer as the doctor left her room silently. As soon as the door closed, she managed to stand up and walk round. She was having one of her better days; she wished she could go outside and do something anything, even if it was just sitting outside in the sun.

"Baka doctor. Like I'd tell her anything." she muttered, leaning against the soft wall. "Tell a stranger how I'm feeling... who are they kidding?"

She wanted to tell someone to relive something of the guilt, but whenever she felt ready to talk, no one was there. She was alone; it did drive her out of her mind sometimes, until she felt compelled to hurt herself, to draw attention; she learned long ago that they dismissed her screams.

"Airen I just want to get out. I'm going nuts, doing absolutely nothing in here." sitting down in front of the window, she gazed out. "Airen......I have accepted some facts while I've been in here. Like that you'll never come back and that things can't ever be the same again. And I am truly sorry for doing that to you, but you must understand something. I repressed it for so long...but now you are gone, and..." she trailed off unsure of how to say anything.

"Odelle? I thought I heard your voice."

Turning her head, she saw Quatre come into the room.

"How are you today?" he asked sitting beside her.

"I'm fine. Want to get out of here though." she looked at him. "Think you can convince them to let me out of this straitjacket?"

"I'll try." he replied with a chuckle; they both knew the words were meant to break the ice. "Enjoying the sun a bit?"

"Uh-huh. Enjoy it better outside though."

"Haven't you been outside for the week?"

"Not yet."

"Not yet?! Hang on." he said, getting up. He came back a few minutes later with a wheelchair. "Come on."

"I can walk you know." she rose with a small smile. "I don't need a chair."

"Oh come on. You mean to say that you never wanted to ride in one of these?"

"Well......I can't deny that, but what if someone else needs to use it more than me?"

"We'll go once around then come back." he flashed her that grin. "Or you don't want to get in?"

She shook her head; he knew how to get her. There was no way that she'd back down now. "Mr. Winner I shall prove you wrong."

"Then hop in."

Odelle shook her head as the chair headed outside; maybe she was completely hopeless. She blinked in the face of the sun; it was so bright after being inside for so long. "Thank you Quatre." she said looking up at him.

"You don't have to thank me." he looked around the empty walkway. "I thought someone would be out here."

"Guess not. Hey can we go really fast?"

"Sure, why not?" he smirked. "You always want some form of speed, huh?"

"I've been here for two months; I need my speed fix. Come on, make this chair fly!!"

Quatre chuckled before making the chair speed up. Odelle closed her eyes savouring the feel of the wind through her hair; she felt so much better inside.

"OK I'm done." Quatre managed coming to a halt eventually and sitting on a bench opposite her.

"It was good while it lasted. Listen Quatre......I know I've been a bit wonky lately, and I use the word 'wonky' pretty loosely. You and my friends...you guys have been here whenever you can and I'm really grateful. It means a lot to me."

"Odelle...don't fret so. We're all here for you no matter what." he said looking in to her eyes.

She gave him a wavery smile. "Yeah I know. I know." she fell silent.

"Don't be discouraged." he rested his hand on her shoulder. "You'll get out of here. You shouldn't even be here now in my opinion. You should be back in the office yelling at people to get done for the deadline. "

She laughed softly, resting her head on his hand gently, not saying anything; she wished to God she was out of this straitjacket.

"Quatre...there's something I have to tell you. If I don't say it now and I want to later and no one's here, I'll lose it again."

"OK." he pulled the chair closer to the bench. "What is it?"

"Look, we've known each other for two and a half years now right? Going on three?"

"Yeah. Remember you crashed into my office demanding your chair back?" he chuckled. "I still say it was my chair."

"Yes...well..." her face flushed slightly. "What I want to say is that......"

Quatre looked at her; she never did find it easy to express herself, choosing sometimes silence.

"Odelle...I actually wanted to talk to you as well. About that night."

"Me too." she said softly. "Quatre...it shouldn't have happened. I mean-"

"I know. I should have known better, you were with Wufei...even though you flamed him pretty harshly. I shouldn't have kissed you but..."

"No that's the problem...I wanted that kiss." her eyes started to blur. "I was with Wufei and I wanted you. I loved him and I loved you too." she sniffled. "I kept inside and tried to ignore it and it did work for a length of time, but then that night...... I should have had better control over my emotions. I should never have let that happen. But some part of me want ed to talk to you that night and no one else. Do you remember that time in the Middle East when we were stuck in that ditch with the crossfire over our heads?"

"Yes. For a whole five hours."

"I remember looking over at you and thinking to myself that if there was one other person I could be happy with it would be you. And I never should have thought something like that."

Gently Quatre wiped away her tears. "Why would you feel guilty over something like that? I thought it too."

"But you weren't involved with someone."

"I was. I just never told anyone." he paused looking at her. "I had a girlfriend back in the Arabia a long time ago. She was really something; she did her own thing and stuck out like a sore thumb. She was just herself."

"What happened to her?"

"She died; in a café. A suicide bomber walked in and...boom."

Odelle looked at him speechless for a few minutes. "I'm sorry. I feel so selfish now."

He shook his head. "Don't. It was hard at first but you get over it. You can't stay sad forever. I did miss her...I thought of her every day. Then my sister told me something."

"What?"

"She said 'What would Dorothy think if you were just sitting around all depressed?'." he paused and looked at her. "What would Wufei think if he knew you were doing this?"

With a small laugh Odelle shook her head. "He'd say to stop feeling so sorry for myself and to get up. Some people lose much more every day."

"Then that's what you should do."

"I'll never forget him you know." she whispered looking into his eyes.

"I wouldn't try to take him away. I still think of Dorothy sometimes. I know what you're going through. Of course your friends though I was crazy when I said that on the first day here."

She laughed. "I can just see the look on Hannah's face. Like what is he talking about?"

"That was kinda the look she had." he chuckled. "How about I see if I can take you out for the rest of the day?"

She smiled. "I'd like that. Maybe eat some decent food...see a movie. Actually feel like I'm living."

"Then let's go." he gave her a soft kiss on the forehead before standing up and wheeling the chair back inside.

Odelle gave a small sigh, as she felt the breeze ruffle her hair slightly, it did remind her faintly of Wufei. Like he was telling her that it was all right. And she did feel that it would be.

*******************

Quatre looked over at Odelle. 'You're sure that you want to do this?"

"Yes. I have to. After this...it'll all be over."

Odelle was finally out of the mental institution a few weeks after her talk with Quatre. All her friends had been there to welcome her back home with hugs and kisses. And today she was doing one final thing.

Getting out of the car, she held the flower carefully. It was perfect in every way; it didn't even smell too much...his spirit would like it. Slowly her feet moved her towards the grave. Even now she could still remember the shock that descended over her as the doctor said those words: 'You're pregnant.' They had left her speechless for at least ten minutes. It would seem after all that Wufei would live on; she was three months along so there was no way this child could be Quatre's.

"Odelle? Is this the grave?" came Quatre's quiet voice.

Startled she looked at him before looking down and nodding; there was the gravestone. The carven dragons on either side framed the words like silent vigilant sentinels.

"Chang Wufei." she whispered. "Died A.C. 203. Airen, may you rest in eternal peace." she whispered leaving the flower on the black stone. He had found a strange liking for tiger lilies. "Rest in eternal peace."

Standing back up she stood beside Quatre looking at the grave quietly. Eventually she felt his hand slip into hers, making her look up. He gave her a smile which she returned.

"I'm done now." she whispered.

Together, they walked away slowly hand in hand the sun sinking into the earth behind them.

~*~
Show me the meaning of being lonely
Is this the feeling I need to walk with
Tell me why I can't be there where you are
There's something missing in my heart
~*~

Naomi looked around the empty apartment; she was glad that Phoebe let her stay at her old place. It was nice and comfortable. With a sigh she got up and headed to the kitchen; she needed to eat dinner even if she wasn't very hungry.

"How am I suppose to tell him?" she wondered as she started making her meal. "What am I supposed to say to him?"

She didn't know how she could face him, knowing she was responsible for their split. She shouldn't have done it that way but she was so afraid that if she did just ask him she would get an answer that would simply go along with her. It was as if he had no voice, simply following the flow of things. But his wants couldn't be exactly the same as hers; it was-

"Jeez!" she jumped hearing the sharp knock on the apartment door. "Coming!" she called.

"Hey Naomi!" came two happy voices.

"Hannah!! Elizabeth!! What are you guys doing here?" this was a surprise.

"Thought we'd join you for dinner...if you don't mind. Figured you could use the company."

"I really could. Come on in." she said opening the door more. "I actually just started, so you guys can help."

"Ha ha!! Let's make pasta!!" Elizabeth crowed, zooming for the kitchen.

"No! No more pasta for you!! That's all you seem to eat!!" Hannah protested running after her.

Naomi shook her head following them into the kitchen; to think she'd have to deal with this soon enough but with someone of a much younger age.

"Hey you guys...wanna just order out instead?" she asked hovering by the kitchen door; from the way Elizabeth and Hannah were going at the pasta pot, she'd stay out of the kitchen.

"Phoebe's letting you eat take out?!" Hannah looked at her in shock. "She said that you could?!"

"Well......no; but I've been eating healthy crap for the past seven weeks. I demand the right to eat something high in calories and that couldn't possibly be good for me."

"All right Naomi!!" cheered Elizabeth. "We'll eat junk!!! We'll eat junk!!"

She smiled as Elizabeth bolted to the phone. "How about pizza?"

"Pizza is good. Want anything in particular?"

"No pepperoni." Hannah made a face. "I can't stand that stuff!"

"OK. But we're getting extra cheese."

Naomi chuckled as Elizabeth started dialing the number for the pizza place. "So Hannah what's up? I barely get to see any more of you."

"Hey I call, I do my part; but do you ever call? Noooooooo; far be it beyond you to pick up the phone and call once in a while."

"I'm sorry. I've been occupied lately. Seeing the 'doctor' and my doctor. I swear Phoebe is going to drive me ballistic one of these days. I think if she had it her way, I'd eat nothing but wholesome foods and vitamins. Yeech!!" she scrunched up her face. "That stuff has no taste; like it's all cardboard."

Hannah chuckled. "Yup, I know. She takes her job far too seriously. I'm surprised you got her to go on vacation with you."

"Yeah...well she needed a distraction from Zechs for a bit." she paused. "Look at them now; back together and happy."

"Naomi..." Hannah paused. "did you tell him yet?"

"I was going to tell him tomorrow but I'm not so sure. I just don't know how he'll take it."

"It's Trowa; he'll listen to what you have to say. He'll give you that much at least. You should stop worrying so much. He's going to be a father; he should know and it should come from you."

"Hm. Maybe I should talk to Odelle. She has to tell Quatre; we could cook up some delivery lines."

Hannah snorted. "Knowing Odelle she'll be there watching something on TV with Quatre and she'll go 'Do you think the Leafs will win? Oh by the way I'm pregnant.' You're not going to think up anything with her. It'll only go wrong."

"All right fine then; I won't. But I am going to tell him tomorrow. For sure." she paused. "Can you come with me...so I don't like change my mind and then-"

"Yeah, no problem. I'll come with you." she looked at Elizabeth who was now yelling into the phone. "We just won't tell her."

Naomi laughed; it didn't seem so difficult now. "Yeah. She just might scare poor Trowa."

"I can see her doing that. His uni-bang would stand right up like 'My God, it's the crazy redhead!' before he runs away in terror. Hell anyone would at her angry expression"

Naomi giggled, seeing Hannah's expression; she was really good at making faces.

"What's so funny?" Elizabeth asked looking at them as she put the phone down.

"Nothing nothing." Naomi replied quickly. "What are we going to until the pizza comes?"

Flopping down on the couch they watched TV making cracks at the shows. But she still couldn't stop from worrying a little bit; she could only hope that tomorrow went well.

*******************

Trowa stood at the front of the vast lecture hall looking over the students; his heart wasn't into teaching today. "You're all dismissed." he said going to his seat almost wearily.

"Ummm Sir?" asked a student hesitantly from the first row.

"Yes?"

"You haven't even taught us anything."

"I know. You're all dismissed." he repeated again a bit more loudly.

The class murmured before streaming out of the hall, leaving him alone in the eventual silence. With a heavy sigh, he looked out the window; it was a nice fall day outside yet for once he wasn't in the mood for much of anything. Not even reading his favourite book or finishing up the one he was working on.

"You let your class go early? What's wrong with you today?"

Looking up he saw the lady in question leaning against the door. "Nothing's the matter Sarah. Just wanted some quiet today. Not have to deal with a class. Don't you have one now?"

"Nope; that's tomorrow." she walked into the room. "Are you coming to the faculty party Friday?"

"No. I plan to stay at home and mark that night." he paused. "And you're not going to drag me, despite any 'best wishes' understand?"

She sighed. "You can't stay so isolated like this; it isn't healthy. You're becoming anti-social. Get out and do something."

He arched an eyebrow. "Maybe you didn't realize but I was partially anti- social from the start."

"Well, I'm only a psychologist so what do I know?" she shrugged with a smile. "Look I just worry about you sometimes. Alone in your office just working so much sometimes, it's not good. Are you almost done your book?"

He nodded lapsing into silence as he returned to looking out the window; as much as she was being polite, he wanted her to go away and leave him alone. He didn't want incessant questions now.

"I'll take that as a yes." she paused, turning with a slight rustle of clothes. "Think I'll go now. You seem to have a visitor Trowa."

He looked up to see Naomi in the doorway, standing quietly. Naomi; he was glad to see her yet all the pain came rushing back.

"Hi Trowa. I can tell you're not in a good mood. I'll....I'll come back later when you're calm." she turned to go, but was shoved into the room by a hand that reached over and shut the door.

"Come in." he said softly.

She walked to a desk seating herself. "So...how have you been Trowa?"

"Good. You?"

"Keeping busy. I thought you had class today?"

"I dismissed them."

She looked at him with a worried expression. "What has you preoccupied?" she asked quietly.

He looked at her for a few seconds; he still wasn't sure what she was doing here. They were still married but they never saw each other never spoke at all since that night at the party or their trial separation. He still loved her, but he didn't know anymore, wasn't too sure.

"Do you really want to know?" he looked at her intently.

"Yes...if you don't mind." she met his gaze briefly.

"I've been thinking about us Naomi."

"Oh." she said; her fingers were starting to move almost with an anxious nervousness. "I've been doing that to."

"Do you want to say what you have to first?"

"You go. I can wait."

He paused. "It's been awhile now since we've seen each other Naomi and I'm going to be honest with you. I can't figure out why you'd do something like that, I really can't and it hurt; it still does."

Her fingers moved even faster, pulling at the edge of her shirt cuff like it was a stretchy spring. "I'm not expecting forgiveness Trowa. What I did was foolish and stupid; I don't deserve your forgiveness at all. I should have just told you instead of..." she trailed off, unwilling to say it.

He felt his heart soften, seeing her sitting there looking so remorseful and sad; it must have been eating her up; she only fiddled with her fingers when she felt so strongly that she had to do something to release it. But the image of her at those parties kept flashing in the back of his mind. "At least you realize it. Maybe late, but at least you did." he replied.

"But maybe too late for us Trowa." she whispered. "Maybe......" she trailed off.

"Maybe what?" he asked.

"Never mind." she sighed. "It's far too late now for that."

He looked at her. "Naomi...you may regret not saying it one day... say it and get it off your chest."

"Trowa..." she started, tears starting to come to her eyes. "I'm sorry Trowa. I'm so sorry."

He watched as she buried her face in her hands before he got up and walked to her, resting a hand on her shoulder gently; he never did like to see his little princess cry. "Naomi...what's really wrong?"

"It's all my fault, I ruined our marriage. Trowa I want you to know, even if we get a divorce, you're the best thing that ever happened to me and I treated you like crap. And for that I am truly sorry." she looked up at him. "I should go now; you probably don't want me to stick around any -" she was stopped by his lips on hers.

"Naomi..." he said afterwards, looking into her eyes.

"What was that for Trowa?" she breathed.

He looked in to her eyes more intently. "I have to tell you?"

She smiled at him. "You are too good to me Trowa. You really are."

He shrugged. "If I let the bad stop me, where would we be now?"

She shook her head. "I love you so much Trowa."

"I love you too. I...I-"

"You don't have to say it Trowa; I'm just glad that it's..." she paused. "Trowa....there's one other thing I need to tell you."

"What is it?" he asked looking at her. She had lapsed back into her nervousness.

"Well....I'm ......I'm pregnant. You're going to be a father."

He looked at her, emotions running rampant through him. It was a bit overwhelming. "Oh." was all he said before he fainted away.

~*~
There's nowhere to run
I have no place to go
Surrender my heart body and soul
How can it be you're asking me to feel the things you never show
You are missing in my heart
Tell me why I can't be there where you are
~*~

Elizabeth looked around her place, checking it over for any last minute details that may have escaped her before. She didn't know why she was worrying about her friends coming over; maybe because it was the first time they were seeing her new place and she wanted to impress them. She wouldn't have to wait long; the doorbell rang with a light trill.

"Hey!! Glad you guys could make it!!" she said as she opened the door for Odelle and Naomi.

"It's the least we could do; we managed to escape Phoebe; and she's pulling a bit of' overtime' tonight with Zechs." Naomi chuckled. "Are you going to eat well today?" she looked over at Odelle.

"Naomi...I eat ice cream with cheesies and fudge toppings for dinner. What does that tell you?" Odelle shot her a look as she took off her jacket.

"You really do get weird cravings?" Elizabeth asked.

"Well just Miss Weirdo over there. I eat normal foods." Naomi rolled her eyes.

"Glad I'm not you two at the moment." she shook her head. "Hey...where's Quatre and Trowa?"

"Quatre had to go away on assignment." Odelle shrugged. "Some scandal in the U.S.; the bread and butter of journalists. Told him to get me something cool."

"Trowa had to attend some history symposium, so I made him go. It's not like I'm going into labour anytime soon."

Elizabeth chuckled. "Did you tell Quatre yet Odelle?"

"Yeah; I was kinda scared to but he was so happy to be a father...even if it isn't his child; he says he's going to raise the child like his own."

"How do you always manage to find the sweet guys Odelle?" Elizabeth asked with an expression of mock puzzlement.

"Man shut up. Can we like sit down already? My feet are starting to kill me!"

"Right this way." she led them to the living room. "So...what do you think?"

"Nice, nice." they looked around appreciatively. "You? No booze cabinet? Oh my God..."

"No. Funny guys, now sit. What do you want to eat?"

"Got any shrimp?" asked Naomi.

"Yup. Odelle?"

"Uh...this is going to sound really weird but got any kalamari?"

"Kalamari?! Isn't that squid?!"

"Yeah; I've been eating that and takeout Chinese food plus a lot of pasta."

"You are one strange person Odelle." Elizabeth shook her head, walking into the kitchen to get the food.

She moved through the kitchen sure that she didn't have the kalamari and that Odelle would live. However she could defrost the shrimp ring for Naomi. Popping it into the microwave, she waited, hearing Odelle and Naomi talking amongst themselves, laughing every once in awhile. She felt that tiny emptiness inside her well up before she pushed it back down. She felt like she was missing a part of her; but that 'part' had chosen and now they'd live with the consequences; and the feelings that came along with it.

"Can you eat a whole shrimp ring Naomi?" she called out when the stuff in the microwave was done.

Her laugh could be heard. "Megs at this point I could eat a whole trawler full!!"

"One shrimp ring coming up." she muttered leaving it on the counter to cool before she picked up the phone and called the Chinese restaurant.

"Hey Liz...you OK?" asked Odelle, as she came back out.

"Yeah yeah...why do you ask?" she handed Naomi the ring.

"You looked a bit preoccupied there; are you sure that you're fine?"

"I am. Stop fretting; it's not good for the babies. Am I gonna get to be an auntie? Can I spoil your kids rotten?"

"Yeah, you would spoil them and you can, but not too much. When did the others say they were going to get here?" Naomi looked around before promptly eating a shrimp.

"Uh...my guess would be right about now. Hannah said she was going to be a bit late though." Elizabeth shrugged. "They'll come when they come...if they can or want."

"Well I think you have a very nice place here Elizabeth. It must have cost you a small fortune."

"I have a bloody small fortune. I work so damn hard I may as well see it in some form of profit. But I prefer to call it long term investment."

"Now we see why she became a broker." Odelle hissed loudly.

"Odelle you pushing it." she joked lightly. "Man you guys are so lucky."

"Huh?" Naomi looked at her puzzled.

"Don't steal my line!!" Odelle protested. "I'm supposed to be the clueless one remember!!"

"I mean...you have your jobs, a home......hell you guys have it all right now."

"Well then by that definition you have it all too Liz." Odelle said before falling silent.

Silence descended as Naomi and Odelle looked at Elizabeth, unwilling to say the one thing they knew she was missing.

"I wish I did." she whispered. "I don't. I really don't." tears started to escape from her eyes.

"Hey don't cry Liz." Naomi soothed, scooting over closer and hugging her friend.

"I couldn't keep living like that Naomi, I really couldn't. It was so draining on me and I-" she completely broke down into tears.

She noticed Odelle get up and head for the phone; at least she saw that much. And at least she wouldn't have to worry for the night and she could finally confess everything that she'd been feeling since her divorce.

*******************

Duo walked into the church, the large stained glass windows casting tinted pools of light over the pews and onto the floor. Seating himself in one of the warm wooden seat, he simply sat there trying to find a sense of calm and joy inside; but it was all gone. It had been since he signed the line on the last page of the booklet Elizabeth had given him that night. He had been so busy trying to buy the world for her that he lost the most precious thing to him, something that money could never replace; her. And now she was gone from his life. Not that he really blamed her; hell even he would have left himself if he was never there.

'How can I make her see that I would do anything to have her back? I still love her so much.'. His eyes wandered from picture to picture, trying vainly to sense some sort of answer, a response to his unworded plea.

"Are you all right my son?"

Turning around he saw the kindly face of a priest. "Yes Father, I'm fine thank you."

"For one so young, you look very troubled." the priest sat beside him. "It must be a heavy burden you bear."

Duo smiled sadly to himself, shaking his head. "Father...how do you figure out women?"

The man chuckled. "You want to figure out women? I do not think the Lord himself could figure women out, much less a humble priest like me."

"Well they say they want this and that......but that's not what they really want at all. And when you do figure it out, it's too late to do anything about it."

"It sounds as if you have a particular woman in mind." the priest said gently.

"Yeah...she was......one in a million. I've never met anyone like her. She's so stubborn, headstrong almost but she knows when to give and compromise. She's...everything and nothing."

"Sounds as if you have it bad."

"I did. I still do."

"So what is the problem?"

"She divorced me...not that I blame her." he looked at the priest. "I was never there Father. I mean I would call and stuff......but I guess it wasn't the same a being there for her. Why didn't she just ask?"

"Sometimes with women you have to read in between the lines. They expect you to know certain things. Like what really cheers them up."

"That's easy. She likes a big bowl of chocolate ice cream and watching crap- I mean cheesy drive-in movies so she can make fun of the plot."

The priest chuckled. "Women are all different...but when you meet that one you know and can sense what she wants...is that what you had?"

"I suppose so. But I never could figure her out completely."

"Then why did you marry her?"

"I may not know much but I know that I love her with everything I have; that much I can say because I know it for a fact."

"Then the rest......it is all up to you and what you do." the priest rose. "Shall you be staying for Mass?"

"Sure."

"Then would you mind giving me a hand? My back is shot and those infernal candle lighters are murder."

Duo laughed as he rose and walked to the front still talking with the priest. In the back of his mind he mulled over the priest's words. If it was all up to him just what could he say to Elizabeth to make up for almost four years of neglect?

*******************

Elizabeth walked into the church, taking a seat at the back; at least she wasn't late. People were still trying to find comfortable seats. Usually she would have taken a seat at the front but she didn't feel like going all the way up; it was another reason why she preferred late night Mass; no throng of pushing people.

She wasn't really one for church, but lately she found herself going a lot more, seeking solace in some sort of way; her friends had been there for her, but she felt that they couldn't really understand what she was going through. There was something about a church that gave her a bit of comfort; she knew she couldn't escape from the torment inside just like that, but it was taking so long.

Rising with the congregation, she went through Mass, singing at all the appropriate moment; she practically knew them by heart now after her childhood. She simply sat in the back as everyone filed out, leaving her in the candle filled silence.

'God what am I doing? Why can't I just move on with my life as I'm sure he's doing?' She looked at the candles soft yellow glow, knowing the answer deep inside; she was just too afraid to admit it and open the heartache again.

"That's the second sad face I've seen today. What's troubling you?"

"Hm?" she looked up to see a priest standing in the row in front of her. "Nothing Father Andrew...just wondering some things. You sound as though you've had a busy day."

"In a way; mind if I sit?"

"No not at all." she smiled gently. "So what have you been up to? Talking to people as usual?"

"Yes. I try to help as much as I can. You know that. I haven't seen you for a long time...been how many years?"

"Only two. I just moved back into the area. And I have lots of free time now so I can come and visit. Not that you'd mind huh?"

"Yes well...you're making the effort after leaving me alone for so long." he laughed. "Now what's bothering you Elizabeth?"

"What do you think of divorce Andrew?"

"Divorce? Sometimes it's for the best if the two people fall out of love or have irreconcilable differences." he paused. "Why?"

"I'm starting to wonder if I made the right choice in divorcing my husband."

"You're divorced?!" he exclaimed. "See what happens when you keep me out of the loop!"

"I still can't figure out why you became a priest!" she laughed. "You're like twenty something and should be writing a gossip column in Los Angeles!!"

"Thanks I think." he chuckled. "Now stop trying to shift the subject. You must really be...how to put this delicately... occupied."

"Yeah, I have kinda been." she trailed off. "About my ex-husband."

"Hmmm." Andrew nodded his head. "Do you want to talk about him?"

She shrugged. "See...he was and is a great guy but he was never there you know? A person can only take it for so long."

"Long being?"

"Four years Andrew; I put up with it for four years Andrew before I had enough of it." she paused. "Was it the right choice?"

"I can't tell you that Elizabeth. You obviously have regrets over this. Did you ever talk to him about it?"

"Don't you think I tried? Every time I called him at work he said he was busy and would call me back."

"But the call never came did it?"

"No...for a good portion of the time it wouldn't. Andrew.......why do guys seem to think they can buy you happiness?"

"Well..."

"And don't say you can't answer this one." she chuckled.

"I think that most guys aren't that smart when it comes too the opposite sex. Now for example there was this guy in here today...wasn't too sure what to say about his wife leaving him."

"Poor man. She didn't cheat on him did she?"

"No. But from the way he spoke of her you could tell he still loved her. He seemed so sad about her leaving; like he should have been happier in life but lost his way."

"Seems like he's going through the same thing I am. Too bad I didn't get to talk to him. We could compare stories."

"Well he said he was coming back tomorrow. He liked this church and all...maybe I could......" he trailed off giving Elizabeth raised eyebrows.

"All right, all right Andrew you win. You're really looking for a way to keep things interesting around here aren't you?"

"I just try to help people in need."

She coughed discreetly. "Yeah...so you need help closing up the church for the night?"

"I don't close up until ten."

"I have plenty of time to kill. Besides I bet you still have a bum back huh?"

"Yeah; it's the unwanted remnant of my football years. If you insist on staying I'm not going to stop you. Besides we can catch up on old times."

"And it just might be like old times. I promise I won't get into too much trouble."

Andrew snorted as he stood up. "There was a reason why we called you the child from Hell you know."

"Me?" she looked around innocently as she stood up walking behind Andrew. "I think you're just crazy. I was the perfect little angel."

"Like the time you bobbytrapped the boys locker room for when the tennis team came back from that meet?"

"Hn." she tried her best to not let her laugh slip through. "So what do you need help with hmm?"

********************

Duo looked at his pile of papers on his desk. "I don't want to do this."

"Duo." came Trowa's mutter. "You aren't backing out of this. You specifically asked me to come in to help you with all of this wok and now you say you don't want to do it?"

Duo looked up at Trowa with a weak smile. "Yeah?"

"Sit there and finish your work." he mumbled looking back at the papers.

Duo shook his head before looking back at the pile. "Why did I have to pick today to organize all these records?" he muttered before starting the task ahead of him.

"Because it needed to be done and you've been saying that you've put it off for far too long." Trowa answered for him.

"Thanks."

"Just work and you'll be done in no time."

Duo shrugged before throwing himself into the task; it was pleasantly mind numbing on a level. Then almost suddenly there were no more papers.

"Hey are we done?" he looked up. No more papers were floating around.

"Yes. And please try to keep it organized. I don't want to spend another Saturday here cleaning up."

"Thanks Trowa. A lot. I mean I know with Naomi and all-"

"She insisted I get out the house; says I'm fussing over her too much."

"She'll be glad to know that I'm done with you then huh?"

"Ecstatic. She's not expecting me until three. It's only one thirty." he shrugged. "I'd better get going anyways."

"Later Trowa. And thanks!!" he waved goodbye.

He looked around his now sparkling clean office. It looked so pristine and ready for business on Monday.

"I'm getting out of here before it all goes to hell again." he grabbed his jacket before heading to his car.

It didn't take him long to drive to the church. It was a bit out of his way but he didn't mind it. Since Elizabeth had left, he'd taken the time to do things again. It brought him some form of comfort at least. Walking into the church the same sense of reverence filled him. The lofty ceilings, the large sunny windows, it never failed to amaze him.

"Oh you're here."

Turning around, he saw the figure of the priest at the front. "Hi Father Andrew. I did say I was going to stop by."

"You did. Just getting some snacks for my guests; today's kinda slow."

"What are you feeding? An army?" he looked at the tray curiously. "And such an interesting variety?"

"Yes well when you see her you'll understand."

"See her? I'm now going to join a chat?"

"Yeah; is that a problem?"

"Hel- I mean no. After all the work I just did I could use a bit of relaxing."

Andrew chuckled. "They're very talkative. Arguing about the rugby game that was on last night. Did you see it?"

"Nah. I watch basketball." he started walking beside the priest. "Is rugby any good?"

"I'd say so. Much better plays than football and-"

"Duo!?"

Startled he looked up to see Elizabeth, Odelle and Quatre seated at the small coffee table. "Uh...hi." he said weakly, waving half-heartedly. He never expected to see her here.

"Well come and have a seat." Andrew pulled up an extra chair.

Gingerly, he came and sat, a slightly uncomfortable air entering the room.

"So where were you and Miss Odelle huh Elizabeth?" Andrew asked.

That got the conversation going. "Well if Miss Odelle here actually bothered to watch the game-"

"What?! I saw the game! Quatre was there watching it me!!"

Duo chuckled; this definitely sounded like a Elizabeth and Odelle conversation.

"So...you play basketball also?" Andrew asked turning to Duo.

"Yeah; it's pretty straightforward. Ball goes in net. What about you Quatre? Any sport?"

"Kinda got into soccer; all that running around keeps me in shape." he sighed. "And gives me the sorest legs and knees ever."

He shrugged. "Yeah that happens sometimes. What about you Andrew?"

"I used to play football. Those were the good days. My back didn't act up. But this one play simply ruined my pro chances; landed at a bad angle. All the people piling on top of me didn't help much either."

Duo chuckled at his theatrics before glancing over at Elizabeth and Odelle; they were still going at it. He never had been one to interrupt their arguments; not after they had shredded him to bits that first time. He had learned from that particular mistake as well as many others.

"Well, you most certainly don't know your rugby." Elizabeth muttered sinking back in to her chair.

"You're just saying that 'cause I'm right and you're wrong." Odelle smiled. "Come on...admit that I'm right. Admit it." she nudged her in the side with her elbow.

"Nuh." Elizabeth pushed away her elbow, the frown on her face cracking.

Come on Liz. Admit it." Odelle poked her in the side.

"You're evil, you know that?" she laughed finally.

"Who do you think I learned from? Certainly wasn't the Devil." she paused chewing her lip for a moment. "Oh wait sorry... my bad; I did."

"Shut up." she laughed giving Odelle a playful shove.

"Yeah, well nyah!!"

"Oh yeah? Nyah nyah!!"

Duo looked over at the two girls who were now stuck in an effort to be the best at sticking their tongues out at each other. "Are you sure they grew up?" Duo looked at Quatre and Andrew.

"Odelle...no; she's just a kid at heart. A really big kid." Quatre smiled. "Think I'd better get her out of here before she dares Elizabeth to do some crazy thing."

Duo shook his head watching as Quatre walked over to Odelle. Of course she didn't want to leave, but a few minutes later, she was walking out the door with Quatre, a smile on her face; must have been a convincing sentence to get her to leave.

"I'll walk you to your car." Andrew said walking after them.

The door closed with a tiny whoosh, silence filling the room. Duo looked up at Elizabeth to find her musing over the tray with far too much interest. He opened his mouth to say something but simply closed it, unsure of what to say. He sank back into the seat with an almost silent sigh.

"How have you been Duo?"

He looked up at the quiet words. "Fine. You Elizabeth?"

"Fine also."

A slightly uncomfortable silence descended in the room before she took a celery stick and began nibbling away at it; she was nervous, he almost couldn't believe it; she was practically never nervous. And she never ate celery.

"How's work?"

"OK. I'd ask you about yours but I pretty much know the story."

"I guess I deserve that one." he replied softly. "Keeping busy?"

"Yeah; I started to think about maybe taking up the job in another country. The boss says I'm the best choice. Besides I always wanted to travel so I figure kill two birds with one stone."

"Oh. What country?"

"Like China or Japan. Maybe if I go to Japan Heero could teach me some Japanese just so I don't look like a fool. I would prefer to look like a professional."

"Yeah...if you can get Heero to say more than five words to you." he chuckled.

She giggled before she abruptly fell silent. "Well...um...I'm sure he'd be glad to help me in some form at least."

"Yeah he probably would." Duo fell silent for a minute. "Why do you want to go East?"

She shrugged. "Want to see more of the world...experience different things...just try something different."

"Oh." he replied. "I think you'll like it."

"Yeah. I'd drag Odelle but you know..." she paused. "Look I've gotta get going. I have work tomorrow."

"You work on a Sunday?" he looked at her incredulously. "Why would you work on a Sunday?"

"So I don't have work on Monday. You remember my feelings about Mondays?"

"Yeah. The most evil day of the week."

She smiled faintly. "Yup." she stood up going to the door. "Bye Duo."

"Bye Elizabeth." he said as she disappeared through the door.

Sitting there he felt even worse. He felt as if she was saying that she needed to escape him; going halfway across the world would achieve that.

'Lord I really messed up. I should at least tell her.' Getting up from his seat, he headed for the parking lot quickly. She was just about to get in her car.

"Elizabeth, wait!!" he called running over.

"Yes Duo?" she asked not looking at him.

"I..." how should he even begin? "I know this is going to sound pretty pathetic now and a bit late but..."

"But?"

"I'm sorry Elizabeth. I never meant to neglect you and..." he trailed off, not getting a response. "I'm sorry." he repeated before walking away. "Damn it." he muttered, heading back in to the church. "Why aren't these things ever easy?"

******************

Elizabeth looked over at the silent figure of Hannah. "And why are you dragging me out to this place?

"Cause this is like your last week here right? So we go out and do something fun." she suddenly grinned. "Or do you want to stay at home like you need a life?"

"Oh yeah thanks a lot." she chuckled. "I thought you were my friend."

"I am. Hannah said giving her an obvious look. "Why else would I be doing this?"

"Revenge?" Elizabeth paused. No...you got us back for everything we ever did to you...didn't you?"

"Yup. Look...we're all going to have a good time before you shove off tomorrow for Scotland." Hannah paused. "Why would you go all the way to Scotland? How are we supposed to do stuff? We can't exactly go out of dinner or the movies like we normally do."

"Man Hannah, it's only for three months; not the rest of my life." Elizabeth chuckled. "I'll be back before you know it."

"Yeah right, that's what you say. Any bet you'll end up staying there wearing kilts and eating haggis." she made a face at the thought.

"Hey don't knock haggis. And I'll have you know I have seen the hottest guys wear a kilt." she smirked. "Why do you think I always went to the Highland Games with Odelle?"

"Knowing you, for the booze tent." she shook her head. "Glad I missed that in a way. But you guys always came back with such beautiful stuff."

"Eh." Elizabeth shrugged. "Maybe you'll find the time to come with me next year. Odelle and Quatre are going to be busy with a screaming terror."

"Yeah...it is Wufei's kid after all." she chuckled. "All right, we'll go to the games. Hey we're here already."

Elizabeth looked out the window to see the bright red sign. "Red Lobster Hannah?" she groaned.

"Uh huh; I know how much you love this place despite what you say."

"I have spread about true evil now. Lord...save my soul." she muttered loud enough for Hannah to hear.

Hannah snickered as they got out the car and walked up to the door. "You? Have a soul to save? Wow..."

"Quiet you!!" Elizabeth said whacking Hannah good-naturedly. "Let's just go and eat."

"Ya huh. I told the guys this was our last girls' night out. They all just nodded their heads..."

"And knew better than to interfere." Elizabeth couldn't stop the chuckle as they went to their seats. "So I'm guessing that the entire gang is here?"

"Aren't you quick today?" Hannah said before rolling her eyes. "Of course you dummy! Girls' night out."

"Sorry Hannah. My mind is a bit out there today." She shook her head a bit to clear it. 'Guess I am more nervous about this than I thought."

"Hey don't worry. If I know you, and I do," Hannah said, making Elizabeth laugh. 'You be cracking the whip on them over there within the week. That's why they give you the difficult assignments."

"Yeah and I curse them every day for it." she peered around, looking for the others. "There they are." she said spying the finally in a small corner booth. "How are you guys doing?" she asked sliding in beside Phoebe.

"Waiting for you to arrive and nearly starving in the process." mumbled Odelle in a slightly disgruntled voice.

"Aww..." Elizabeth gave a smile. "I guess I should have washed my hair then."

Odelle fell back into her mumbles as everyone laughed and they finally placed their orders and began talking again animatedly. The food and drinks came soon enough breaking up the conversation to fragmentary words. It was only over dessert that the talk really got started.

"So...you're really going to Scotland huh?" Naomi asked looking at her.

"Yup." Elizabeth pushed round her ice cream. "They wanted to send me further away and for a longer period of time but I said no. I mean what would I do so faraway with no one I know to piss off?"

"Oh thanks hun." Phoebe said with a smile. "Remind me to remember that if you come into the hospital with a broken arm."

Elizabeth smiled. "Oh, you mean you'll give me more drugs?"

"Or less...depends if you're a good patient. And from what Odelle says about that time she braided your hair, I'd say more."

"Hey, she tugged really hard all right?" she gave a mock pout. "Not my fault that she's a tough person."

"And here I thought that was you Elizabeth." Odelle said with a snicker. "Anyways, plan on doing anything there besides work? Maybe go to Loch Ness and see Nessie perhaps?"

Elizabeth groaned at Odelle's terrible Scottish accent. "Odelle, you can talk other languages but please don't ever do that again."

"All right all right. So what are you going to do Liz?"

Elizabeth shrugged, finally eating a bit of her dessert. "In between work...just relax and chill...distract my mind from things." she caught Odelle and Naomi's brief glance at one another. "Maybe see some guys while I'm there...who knows..."

"Oh... I see...you're 'working' right Elizabeth?" Phoebe said.

"Yes...I am 'working'." she said in a laugh.

The entire table burst out laughing, knowing full well that Elizabeth worked as much as she played...it just depended on her mood.

"All right we need one more round of drinks; can you guys stomach one more?" Hannah asked looking around.

At the general nodding of heads, she called the waiter over to take their final orders of the night. Once the drinks arrived, Hannah picked hers up and called for silence.

"Now that Elizabeth has had enough of us, she fleeing to Scotland tomorrow." she paused, smiling at Elizabeth's amused glare. "And as we all know some weird shit is going to happen once she's gone. Cows will die, frogs will fall from the sky-"

"All that Biblical stuff." said Naomi. "Just get on with it already!!"

Hannah chuckled. "And we all know that she'll crack the whip on the morons over there really hard so this is actually a toast to those brave souls over there who will have to put up with her. But in all reality, I just wanna wish her the best of luck in crossing the ocean, cause God knows that her plane will be the one to crash!!"

"Yeah right. Did you see when we built that derby car and she drove it?" Odelle said. "I'd rather not see her at the helm of the plane! But I wish ya the best of luck Elizabeth."

"Hell I'd more wish those people over there luck; I mean Elizabeth is going over...Elizabeth!!" Phoebe said shaking her head. "Try not to kill too many people over there OK?" she said, trying not to laugh too much.

"All right Phoebe. If you like I can refer them to you?"

Naomi sighed with a chuckle. "Those poor souls won't know what hit them. Go easy on them huh?"

"Thanks you guys. This has been a great night. At least Odelle hasn't-" she was cut off by a soft burp. "I stand corrected." she sighed. "Can you like not do that once?"

"I dunno." Odelle shrugged. "Should I start trying?"

"Yeah!" Elizabeth said, trying not to laugh at the innocent puzzled look on her friend's face. "Oh never mind, you'll do it anyways."

"Yup." Odelle said grinning broadly. "Oh well you should probably go home and sleep. You do have an early flight tomorrow don't you?"

"Yeah. Six a.m. I don't really care if it is like close to twelve now. This is the last time I'm gonna see you guys for awhile and I can sleep on the flight. They always end up showing some dumb movie."

"True true, but jet lag can screw you up for a bit and we want you in your best whip cracking state." Phoebe made a flicking motion with her wrist. "So you should shove off to sleep if you want to make someone's life miserable."

"Exactly." Odelle held up her glass. "Here's to Elizabeth and hoping that she does really well...and doesn't kill anyone."

"Hear hear." everyone else said, before clinking glasses and draining them down.

After splitting the fairly large bill, they all gave Elizabeth parting goodbyes until it was only her and Odelle in the parking lot.

"Oh great, I get stuck driving your heavy ass home." Odelle made a mock face. "And you ate all that food too."

"Don't' talk you." Elizabeth laughed. "You ate three times more than me. You ate my crab legs to boot!"

"Hey I am eating for two now." Odelle shrugged as they got into the car and she started the ignition. "I have an excuse."

Elizabeth snorted. "That never stopped you before ya know. You remember where my place is right?"

"Duh!" she said as she pulled out into the road. "I'm not that forgetful."

"Yeah...working at the newspaper must have done wonders for your memory." she sighed before looking out the window. "So how are things with you?"

"Pretty good. I'm yelling at the slowpokes even more; you think they could move their asses or something." she shook her head. "Quatre's coming back from the U.S. tomorrow so maybe I'll go with you to the airport. I swear they gotta stop sending him away so much; this is like the fifth time."

"I guess I could use the company. I am carrying a lot of suitcases so I can get one of those little carts to carry them all." she paused. "You could just terrify them with a good bout of yelling."

"Uh huh." Odelle muttered. "I think you just want to race that thing through the airport and make people duck for cover."

"That too." she chuckled.

Silence descended in the car as it sped down the road. The silence was companionable at first but Elizabeth could feel the question hanging in the air between them. It grew larger and larger as they continued on, Elizabeth's house visible in the distance.

"Odelle...what do you want to ask me?" she finally said.

Odelle shook her head. "I'm not going to say."

"Man Odelle," Elizabeth groaned. "don't start this whole silence thing up again cause-"

"Elizabeth I'm not going to ask you because I know what you're going to say in response."

Elizabeth looked at her as the car pulled into her driveway. "You seem awfully sure of yourself; why don't you tell me the question and then my 'response'?"

Odelle looked at her before turning off the engine. "All right then, here's my question. Shouldn't you tell Duo?" she paused seeing the look on Elizabeth's face. " 'But it's over between us Odelle. We're divorced' " she said the words with slight sarcasm. "Elizabeth it's never been over between you two; can't you just swallow your pride and stubbornness and talk to him like you really want?"

"You're a good one to talk. You never told Wufei and look at what happened."

"You're so lucky that you're my friend and that I will not take that the wrong way." Odelle said in a clipped voice.

"Sorry." she muttered. "I didn't mean it that way Odelle."

"Yeah well I still can't believe you apologize now." Odelle's voice was still less than pleased. "As opposed to before."

"Hm; I'm really sorry Odelle." she got out the car. "So...will I see you tomorrow morning?"

"I know you are. And yes you will. I just don't want you heading down my road Elizabeth; guilt and doubt are not constant companions that you want around."

She simply nodded her head, closing the door with a slam. She watched as Odelle's car went back down the driveway, and back down the road heading for the opposite side of town. Slowly, she went up to the door, going in to the dark interior. Locking the door behind her she rested against the door thinking over Odelle's words.

'Damn her.' She felt a tear slide down her cheek. 'Why does she have to be right?' Hastily she wiped it away only to have another one fall followed by another and another. She ran upstairs to hr room just in time to cry into her pillow unable to deny it any longer. Despite all the airs she put on, and how much she denied it to everyone else she simply couldn't lie to herself; she still loved Duo Maxwell.

*********

The dark shape in the bed moved, sitting up. "Damn it." Duo muttered. "I have to sleep; I have work in..." he glanced at the clock; four a.m. "Five hours."

Standing up, he shuffled off to the kitchen, going and rummaging around in the fridge. "Man... there's like nothing to eat in here."

Gingerly taking out a styrofoam lunch parcel, he opened the top only to shut it quickly, and chuck it in the garbage. Closing the door with a sigh, he headed to the cupboards only to find a lone box of macaroni and cheese.

"Can't be that hard. Elizabeth made it." he mumbled looking over the package. "I'd better not try; I might make the thing explode."

With a sigh, he made himself a sandwich before seating himself in the living room and flicking on the TV. Infomercials advertising endless products danced across the screen; waxing, roasting, exercise, money- making. He shut off the TV an hour later. Bored he looked over at his half- eaten sandwich, before getting up and putting it in the fridge.

"Five thirty in the morning; don't think that I'll be getting back to sleep today." he sighed, heading for the shower.

He peeled off his clothes and stepped into the shower, turning on the water; and then the phone rang. With a muttered curse, he looked out to see that he had forgotten his towel. Still muttering to himself, he dripped water all alone the floor as he grabbed a towel, wrapping it around his hips and running to the phone in his room.

"Hello?" he asked only to receive a dead tone. "Damn it, they better have left a message if it's important. Besides who calls me at this time in the morning?"

Stalking down the stairs he could see the blinking red light of the answering machine. Sighing heavily he went up to it and pushed play.

"Hey Duo, I'm guessing you're fast asleep or too lazy to pick up the phone, one of the two. If you're sitting there listening to this get up off your lazy ass and pick up." there came a pause. "All right, you're fast asleep. Then by the time you hear this it's gonna be too late. Elizabeth's going to Scotland. She's leaving at six and-"

Duo never heard the rest of the message as he ran upstairs, frantically looking for clothes to wear; finding something he pulled it on, and dashed to the car grabbing his keys and wallet before heading for the airport. d, now she's leaving for good. She'll never come back and I'll regret this for the rest of my life. I have to see her at least one last time.' He sped down the freeway like a man possessed, glancing up at the dashboard clock. "I'm not going to make it. The airport is still fifteen minutes away and it's five fifty.' His foot pressed down more on the accelerator, pushing the car to 120km/h. He pulled into the parking lot taking up two spaces before he ran out, heading for the main terminal.

"Scotland...Scotland....Six...." he breathed, looking at his watch. Five fifty five. Shaking his head he looked up at the schedule finding the listing. "Other end of the terminal."

He was off like a shot, running a breakneck speed jumping over luggage and swerving to avoid people, He looked at his bouncing watch; five fifty eight. And the terminal end was drawing closer.

"Elizabeth!!" he yelled, waving his arms like a madman. "Elizabeth!! Wait!!"

He kept running, calling her name. Then he saw something that made him skid to a halt; the door had just closed. The door had closed; he was too late.

"Duo? There you are Duo. I almost didn't hear your voice." Odelle came up to him from the crowd. She had sad look on her face. "You just missed her Duo. That's her plane there."

Duo walked up to the glass with Odelle looking out at the British Airways plane heading out to the runway. His palms went to the cold panes as he looked at the plane. It turned down to face the runway, pausing for a moment before it moved slowly picking up speed. It took off gracefully heading up it the early fall sky that was turning orange. Duo rested his head against the glass before smacking a balled up fist on it.

"Duo..." Odelle looked at him, hand on his shoulder. "you gonna be OK?"

"Why did you call me Odelle?" he asked quietly.

"I thought you should see her before she left...even if she said she didn't want to see you."

"Hm. Do you know when the next flight to Scotland is? You always know stuff like that."

"Uh...at eight or nine I think. Why?"

"I told myself that I would see her one last time and that's exactly what I plan to do." he replied before heading for the ticket counter.

"Hey Duo!!" Odelle called running up to him with a scrap of paper she pulled from her pocket.

"Yeah?"

"You may want to know where she's staying." she put the paper in his hand. "Just in case..."

"Thanks..." he said, putting the paper in his own pocket. "You aren't going to call and tell her...are you?"

"Hm?" she looked at him with a puzzled smile. "Did you say something Duo?"

He grinned at her. "Thanks."

She shrugged. "Don't mention it. I figure you should give it one last crack. Maybe that's all she needs Duo; to see."

********************

Yawning Elizabeth shuffled into the living room to the kitchen, pulling out a cereal bowl and filling it with cereal and milk. She stood at the counter, staring down into the swirls of puffed wheat dumbly.

"Odelle was right. Damn her, damn her, damn her." she muttered. "I should have told him I was going to be here for awhile."

She glanced at the phone before she dismissed calling him; Duo was rarely up this early in the morning; it was eight here now and when one factored in the time difference...she should call and leave message at least.

"Maybe after I unpack...but I just got here...I can call Duo first." she muttered, looking at that phone at the wall and the living room; her suitcases were all piled in the master bedroom down the hall. "Oh for Gods sake Elizabeth, pick one! You're a grown woman; do what you have to and stop making excuses for yourself."

She marched over to the phone, picking it up with a trembling hand. 'Elizabeth,' She closed her eyes breathing deeply. 'it's just Duo you calling. You can call him, tell him where you are and get the conversation done and over with.' But her hand froze on the phone; she knew that if she called Duo now, she stood an extremely good chance of wanting to talk to him.

"Yeah Odelle, it's easy to say get over your pride, but doing it is something else completely different." she muttered, hand trailing off the hard plastic.

She leaned against the wall, munching away on the cereal, thinking over her position; she couldn't quite call Duo and say that she wanted to get back together, she had gotten the divorce papers first after all. She shook her head in frustration, not quite knowing what to do for the first time in her life. What she hated most of all was that empty part inside of her ; she knew only one thing on Earth could make it go away and he was on the-

"Hm?" she felt all the hairs rise on the back of her neck suddenly, making her look over to see a pair of wiggling antenna and not so pretty face on her shoulder.

She screamed in sudden fright, dropping the cereal bowl to a noisy crash on the linoleum, shaking her shoulder frantically. The she felt it against her skin; it had gotten down her top. She whipped off her jacket and shirt, flinging them to the floor and clamber up on a chair, still screaming her head off; bloody thing scared her to death.

"Where is it?! Where's the centipede!?"

Her head snapped up, hearing the voice. Her voice froze seeing Duo standing there in the kitchen doorway, shoe brandished and ready as he looked around eyes scanning.

"There you are!" he said, moving forward and squashing the bug with his shoe against the bare floor.

"Duo!!" she exclaimed. "What the hell are you doing here!?"

"Squashing a bug, what does it look like?" he asked with a half smile standing up.

"You know what I mean!" she said, stepping down onto the floor. "Why the hell are you in Scotland? You should be at work now!"

"I know." he said rubbing the back of his head. "I figured I had to see you one last time before you were gone."

She looked at him in surprise. "You...came to the airport?"

"Yeah...too late though. You'd just boarded the plane and it was leaving." he shrugged. "I'm not going to say I'm proud of following you like this but I'll be damned if I let you leave and I don't get to say goodbye."

"So you came across the ocean to tell me goodbye? You came a couple thousand miles to tell me goodbye and then leave?"

"Well......yeah...now that I think about it. I don't care if it costs me a couple thousand or that my accountant will have a fit." he grabbed a paper towel and wiped off the bug guts from the bottom of his shoe, tossing it in the trash.

"There's a change." she crossed her arms, looking at him intrigued. "What brought this on? A tax audit or something?"

Duo shook his head, smiling a bit at her crack. "I wish; I lost something much better that all that crap I have."

"Then what did you lose?" she asked. "The car?"

"You. I finally see what you were talking about that night at your birthday party." he gave sad smile. "But I thank you in a way."

"T...thank me?" she stammered totally surprised. "W...what could you possibly thank me for?"

"Giving me a swift kick in the ass. You showed me the things that money couldn't buy and I threw it away." he shook his head. "You were right. I did see what my money had bought...but I didn't like it one bit."

She looked at him totally speechless, unsure of what to say.

"Well," he began after the brief silence. "since the centipede is dead and all..." he trailed off lamely. "Bye Elizabeth."

She watched as he walked out of the kitchen, one shoe on and one shoe off. "Duo?"

"Yeah?" he replied; his voice sounded a bit strained.

"How did you know it was a centipede?"

A brief chuckle came from the hallway. "I never found out how much you hated those things until our third year of marriage. Remember when I came home and found you on the chair, looking around the floor?"

"Yeah...I said that it disappeared on me and wouldn't come down until it was dead."

"Uh huh; so I searched the entire kitchen for three hours until I found and killed it."

A silence filled the distance between them, each not quite willing to end it all and go away from the other.

"Duo?" she called again.

No response greeted her; he simply walked back to the kitchen doorway and stood there looking at her with those indigo eyes of his. She didn't say a word, walking up to him and looking him dead in the eye. Where she had always seen numbers before, she saw the old Duo; one who would take a day off of work to simply relax and unwind; the one who would actually come home for dinner and talk about his day. The old Duo with a bit more experience. She looked down, unable to hold back any more.

"Hey babe...what's wrong?" Duo asked puzzled as tears started down her face. He wiped them away gently. "You don't need to cry."

"You really have changed." she whispered, looking back into his face.

"Yeah...after you left...I had to cook for myself."

"You did the safe thing and ordered take-out right?"

"Of course." he smiled at her. "I nearly made a box of mac and cheese. But then I decided against it."

"Why?"

"You make the best mac and cheese babe; I'm not ever going to mess up a good thing again."

"Then how come you never left me alone in the kitchen?" she laughed, wiping away her stray tears.

"I wanted to help." he said with a smile. "Or am I now forbidden from that part of the house?"

She shrugged. "Just stay out of my way at Thanksgiving all right?"

"No problem. Look Elizabeth...I really do mean it when I say I am sorry. Four years that I could have spent with you and I spent them with numbers instead." he made a face. "What the hell was wrong with me? We were fine and I had a beautiful wife..."

"I think you were working around too many new books." she giggled. "That new book smell can mess up a person; does crazy things to the mind."

"Maybe that's it." he shrugged with a smile. "But I just wanted you to know since I wasn't gonna see you ever again."

"What are you talking about?" she looked at him puzzled. "I'm only here for three months."

"You mean…you're not living here permanently?"

"Hell no." she laughed. "Is that what you thought?"

"Yeah; I figured you were leaving and I just couldn't let you go like that."

"Duo…" she said, pausing for a minute. "You know I was debating whether to call you or not. I stood by the phone trying to decide."

"And then the centipede attacked huh?"

"Yeah." she smiled. "But I was starting to lose. I should have told you I was coming here."

"Do I detect a note of something there?" he bent closer to her. "It sounds like you missed me babe."

Her face flushed. "Yeah…I did. At least my friends had the sense to see through me."

"What do you mean by that?"

She chuckled at his puzzled face. "You mean to tell me that not one of my friends had anything to do with you coming here?"

"Well…ah…when I got to the airport…I bumped into Odelle." he said, looking around innocently. "I told her something but she didn't quite hear me so I just let it go."

"Uh huh." she smiled again. "I really did miss you Duo."

"I missed you too babe. I mean I nearly starved with out your home cooking."

"Oh I see now." she smacked his arm lightly. "So you just want me to cook huh?"

"Well I certainly can't cook. My idea of that is-"

"Ordering take-out." she said. "And you're sick and tired of it huh?"

"You bet." he paused, looking at her. "You're cold."

"No I am not."

Duo just shook his head, removing his jacket and settling it on her shoulders. "I always could tell when you were lying. Your skin is covered in goose bumps."

Elizabeth shook her head as he pulled her closer. "You know…I bought a new house out in the East end."

"Must be a nice two storey one." he murmured. "Has a backyard?"

"Yup…with a big tree in it." she looked up at him, unsure of what to say. "Duo…"

He smiled at her. "It's all right babe, I understand." he chuckled. "Besides…I don't think you'd ever work up the nerve to say it."

"Jeez, you and Odelle." she muttered. "Between you and her I'm screwed over. Why do you know me so well?"

"I love you babe. Why wouldn't I?"

She smiled and stepped back, looking at him. "Uh Duo…did you just throw on these clothes?"

"Yeah; why?"

"Cause you have on your old university sweatshirt, a pair of your best pants and those funky sandals of yours."

"Really?" he looked down at himself. "Oh well, it could have been worse."

"I like it. I always thought you looked very good in that sweatshirt." she smiled at him snuggling back into his arms. "You get all warm and soft."

"Thanks I think." he said raising her head up gazing into her green eyes. "I still think and say that you're the most beautiful woman I have ever laid eyes on in my life."

She chuckled bringing his head closer. "Yeah…you're pretty good-looking yourself you know."

"So you say." he murmured before kissing her.

She closed her eyes as the lonely feeling inside vanished away with the touch of his lips, kissing him back just as passionately. They broke off a few minutes later, foreheads resting together.

"Babe…I really gotta get going. The staff is probably wondering what at the hell happened to me." he said quietly. "Not that I really want to go."

She looked at him. "You sure you don't want to stay? I mean you haven't exactly taken a vacation in all these years…and you're already here…"

Duo grinned at her. "I could call and tell them where everything is; Trowa did come in and help me organize the place."

"You mean it's actually organized?" she gasped in amazement.

"You better believe it." he fell silent. "Mind if I make a quick phone call?"

"Go for it. I'll be in the room unpacking." she kissed him again. "And maybe we can get you into some decent clothes?"

"I thought you liked this." he said with a smile as he reached for the phone. "I'll be done in ten minutes tops."

"All right." she said, leaving him to call over.

Smiling to herself she went down the hall to the room pulling a suitcase up on the bed and flicking it open. Going through it methodically she started putting away the contents. As she closed the drawer for the final time, she felt arms wrap around her.

"Hey babe." Duo whispered in her ear. "You have no idea how great it is to hold you again."

She hugged his arms, closing her eyes happily. "And vice versa."

"Hm." he murmured. "That and you always smell good. Like flowers."

She shivered as she felt his lips on her neck. "I'm just glad you followed me Duo. I can be so stubborn sometimes."

"And that's why I love ya babe." he replied turning her around to look at her face. "I never want to be lonely again. Elizabeth…I really do want to spend the rest of my life with you."

"Are you proposing Mr. Maxwell?" she asked with a smile

"Will you say yes Elizabeth?" he looked at her. "Will you marry me again?"

She shook her head. "How can I refuse you, you big lovable goof; of course I'll marry you."

"This is just a temporary ring you know…" he said reaching into the jacket pocket. "But I think you'll like it." he slid it on her finger.

She held her hand up, looking at the delicate interlace leading up to the intricate woven heart in the center. "It's perfect; I don't want another ring. We just need one for you now."

"Well since I got one for you…." he held his hand up showing her the matching one.

She laughed at his expression. "I believe you did prepare for this one Duo."

"And why not? I figured do it properly." he kissed her again. "Thank you Elizabeth, for giving me another chance."

"Why wouldn't I? I would have…when I got over my pride."

"I couldn't wait that long!" he groaned. "You would have taken forever!"

"Quiet you! How about we go get you some clothes and stuff; I bet you didn't bring a suitcase."

"No I didn't. I got my wallet though. Wanna come shopping with me?" he grinned at her.

"Sure. I don't have to work until one in the afternoon. Shall we hit the town?" she asked, looking at him.

"Sure…if they're ready for me." he chuckled.

Elizabeth laughed as she went to the kitchen and picked up her shirt putting it back on before shrugging into her jacket. She handed Duo's back to him. "I say we get you a nice kilt."

"A kilt huh?" he got a thoughtful look on his face. "Why do I get the feeling that that's more for you than me?"

"I never said such a thing." she said in mock hurt as they went to the door. "I just thought you'd like one."

"Uh huh." Duo smiled as they went to the front door. "You'd like me to be in one huh?"

"I never said that either." she said, stepping out the door.

Duo chuckled as he shut the door and slipped an arm around her waist. "You didn't have to."

~*~
Show me the meaning of being lonely
Is this the feeling I need to walk with
Tell me why I can't be there where you are
There's something missing in my heart
~*~

~ Owari ~