Disclaimer: Don't own .gets all sad.

We now interrupt your usual reading for a public service annocement from Jareth, King of Goblins.

Jareth steps onto a podium. He looks flustered.

"Look honestly. Would you people STOP with the constant 'I wish the Goblin King would take me away right now!' Really. You people (you know who you are) seem to think I have nothing to do all day. Believe it or not, the Labyrinth is a very busy place. I have goblins to keep in check, REAL wishes to deal with, other fae to have continuous meetings with and a whole bunch of other citizens to look after. You think this is an easy job? Well its not. So for the love of all things holy, stop making it harder on me. You all declare to 'love me so' but all you're doing is making life very harder for me. I remember one time some crazed maniac got pregnant just so she could wish her baby away so I would come. How insane is that? What the hell people?? Really. 21 years of constant wishing really takes it toll. I had no idea why it stated at first. Then I find out that some smart nosed brat who wished away his brother when he was 14, and couldn't finish the labyrinth, wanted to get some revenge. 'I know lets get some 40yo singer to play Jareth and we can put him in some tight pants and make every other woman the world over want him. Yea that will ruin him!' I will have you know that my pants are not THAT tight. Tight yes, but not skin-tight. Jeez, I'm surprised that David Bowie Guy wasn't speaking a couple of octaves higher. And no I don't do singing. I would kill that Jim Henson freak if he wasn't already dead. At least he got Sarah right. I think Hoglen told him that story. And yes it's Hoglen. Not 'Hoggle' He makes a point of every one saying it wrong when he got it wrong himself. MORON. Oh and I know about all your little stories. You seem to make a big deal about Sarah being the only one to beat the labyrinth. Well she wasn't. Heaps of mortals had. She was special not because she won, but because she had a really nice arse. And she was 19. LEGAL. I'm no child abuser. When Henson made that movie he almost got Sting or that Michael Jackson guy to play me. Thank god he didn't. Can you Imagine the backlash if he had? Michael Jackson plays a child stealing goblin king? You people are driving me insane. STOP WISHING YOU'RE SELVES AWAY!!! THERES ONE NOW. ARE YOU PEOPLE PAYING NO ATTENTION TO ME???"

At this point Jareth (who is clearly getting very frustrated) is dragged off the stage by a brown haired beauty. She then takes the podium.

"Please excuse my husband. The amount of wishes he has been receiving lately keeps on growing. I beg of you, Stop it. You can't have him. He doesn't want you. He's MINE. Cough Excuse me. He hates to admit it. But he does wear pants that tight. And I get to look all day. I don't get to look at night because by that point I have removed them.' She seems to be going the way of Jareth. 'Jealous? Well too bad. Stop trying to get in on him. HES NOT YOURS."

Jareth returns (much calmer) and drags Sarah off the stage, and takes her place.

"Um, Thank you, that it all' and walks off.

Later that night.

"Mmm yes that's it."

"I wish the Goblins would take me away right now!"

"GOD DAMN IT"…..

Apparent we people are not paying any attention.

A/N: Yes I know I'm still in the middle of another story but this has been floating around in my head for a few days now and I just needed to get it out. Psycho goblin king hehe