One Night at the Akatsuki Lair

by Hitokugutsu

What happens when you get four sleep deprived adolescents and their mom in Naruto cosplay and have the Deidara character say something about art and bang... After everyone was asleep I decided to write it all out. Note: Deidara was played by Mandy Pants

This is some random thing me and some others did when we finally got totally into character

Sasori-Me

Deidara-Mandy

Tobi-Chris

Hidan-My sister

Sir. Leader-My mom

We're 13 and crazy what..?

(And yes both me and Mandy (Saso and Dei) are girls, what of it?)

xXxXxXx

Tobi and Deidara were in the Akatsuki lair. Deidara was lazily sitting in a rocking chair while Tobi tried to blow up a red balloon. "Senpai, can you help Tobi blow the balloon up, Tobi cannot blow hard enough." Deidara sighed, but took the balloon. He put it to his lips and began blowing. The balloon was hard to blow up. He began stretching the rubber until it was thin enough to blow up. As he blew into it again it grew and grew and grew until

POP!

The red rubber exploded on his face. Since Deidara thought ow and ouch were ugly words, he let out more of a teapot whistle in pain as the rubber slapped him in the face. Then he began to laugh, and Tobi joined along. "That was true art, un!" he exclaimed. On the couch to the left of the two crazy members was a very annoyed looking Sasori.

"Tch, true art lasts forever."

"No, Danna, true art is only here for a mere second, un! Before it is gone forever and you can only see it in the glimmer of the eyes of the people who watched it and really and truly savored it, un."

"Nuh uh!" said Sasori. "True art lasts forever!"

"Well if true art lasts forever," Deidara fumed, "Then you are not true art, because even you will someday rot and disappear off the planet, un!" Sasori was take aback by this statement, but kept his face glued in that same unemotional look he gets when in a fight.

"Well... well... well your explosions aren't art at all, all they are are loud noises and bright lights! Real art can be looked back upon and enjoyed time and again! Unlike some petty explosion!"

"NO DANNA!" Deidara yelled. "My explosions are way better than your stupid puppets!" Deidara Was fuming so hard he fell onto the ground. Sasori couldn't help but laugh, and was eventually on the ground with Deidara. Deidara got on top of him like a wolf pointing out his alpha position in the pack. Tobi watched on, laughing behind his mask. Deidara continued yelling at the much smaller boy below him. "Art is meant to last for only a few seconds, then it is gone forever, un!"

"No, art lasts forever!"

"Art is temporary!"

"Art lasts forever!"

"Art is temporary!"

"Art lasts forever!"

"Art is temporary!"

"Art lasts forever!"

"Art lasts forever!" Deidara tried to pull a Bugs Bunny. It worked.

"Art is temporary!" Sasori accidentally said." Wait no!"

"Haha I got you, un!"

"No that's no fair!"

"HAHA YES! Art is a bang, un! Art is a bang ,un!"

"NO!" Sasori brought his hands up and shoved Deidara off, sending him sprawling on his back. He took the place over Deidara that had formerly been held by the blond. "Art is meant to be beautiful forever, not just a short time, not just a glimpse to-"

"The fact that all you get is a short glimpse is what makes it beautiful!" Deidara pushed his Danna off of him and stood. Sasori stood as well, and pushed Deidara's shoulders.

"Art is forever!" Push.

"Art is a BANG!" Push.

"No! You see this balloon?!" he pulled a red balloon from the table. He blew it up. "See this?"

"Yes," said Deidara. Sasori put it behind his back.

"How 'bout now?" He brought it back out.

"Yes, I do, un."

"See! That is art! Something you can look back upon!"

"Nooooo..." Deidara grabbed a pair of scissors. "This is art!" He stabbed at the balloon, but Sasori held it tight to his chest and through himself onto a chair. Deidara pounced on him and, after a few minutes, popped the balloon in Sasori's hands. "THAT is art, un!"

"You wanna take this outside?" Sasori yelled.

"Yes I DO! UN!" They stormed out of the lair. Tobi fallowed after, laughing. Hidan, who had been off in his room praying, came out to see what all the fuss was about.

"Art lasts forever!" Sasori screamed.

"Art is a bang!" Deidara screamed back.

"HEY YOU FUCKING IDIOTS!" Sir Leader yelled out the window. "GET BACK IN HERE AND STOP FIGHTING! IS THIS WHAT I PAY YOU FOR?!?!?!?!?!?" Sasori and Deidara stormed back into the lair, Tobi fallowing after (but stayed with Sir Leader in the main building), and they made their way to their quarters exchanging "Art lasts forever" and "Art is a bang" the whole way there.

Once they reached their quarters they climbed out a window onto the roof. Their they sat, a little more calm now.

"Art is a bang, Danna, un. I already won twice." Deidara said with a smirk

"Twice?" inquired Sasori, knowing of the time on the floor, but at a loss as to the second.

"Once when I made you say 'art is a bang' -"

"You cheated," Sasori mumbled. Deidara chuckled.

"And once with the balloon."

"You didn't win anything, you just ruined art!!!"

"No, I made art, un!" The two were close to getting into another pushing fight on the roof, but, knowing if Deidara fell he could get seriously injured, Sasori held back. The red-headed puppet laid on his back and looked up at the sky.

"Tch, your petty explosives are nothing compared to my puppets."

"Whatever, Danna, at least I don't stay inside all day and play with dolls."

"So what if I play with dolls, those dolls can rock your world." Deidara blushed.

"It only happened twice!And the second time I was drugged!"

"You know you liked it."

"I did not! You drugged me! You forced me into it! You raped me!!!" Sasori shot up into a sitting position.

"I DID NO SUCH THING!" Sasori yelled. His eyes were suddenly filled with anger and hatred for the blond, and his hands tightened into fists.

"Yes you did, you stupid pedophile! You're 40 years old, and you raped me! You drugged me and raped me!!!"

"No I didn't! And I'm the one who has the body of an under aged boy!"

"But you're over twice as old as me, Danna! And you RAPED ME! RAPED ME RAPED ME RAPED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Sasori was so enraged at the blond he wanted kill him right then and there. But he couldn't. He layed back down and looked back up at the stars. The bright, shiny spheres glimmered in the deep blue sky.

"I wonder what they are..." He said, mostly to himself.

"Hmm, un?" said Deidara. He had heard Sasori say something without an angry or undermining tone.

"The stars. I wonder... They..." He didn't know how to voice his thoughts. "They start off as explosions...and they end in explosions... But before they are born they're in a beautiful gaseous cloud of wonder... and while they are alive...after the beginning explosion... they glow for billions of years and are beautiful... and after the implosion that kills them... well they're even more beautiful for the rest of forever..." Sasori sat up and looked at Deidara.

"What are you talking about, Danna, un?"

"Well... they fall under both of our artistic opinions... Maybe..." he trailed off.

"Maybe what, un?"

"Maybe neither of us are right... or we're both right... but only together." His hand moved over and covered Deidara's. The blond gasped. The redheaded puppet moved closer to Deidara. His fire red eyes stared deeply into Deidara's visible ocean blue one. Deidara moved his head down so that he was level with the shorter Sasori. The gap between their lips began closing, but then a broom cam shooting out the window.

"Hey! Hey you guys!!! What are you talking about? Tell meeeee!" Hidan stuck his head out the window.

"Shouldn't you be praying or something?" Sasori said flatly, moving away from Deidara, who pouted.

"Tell me whats happening!"

"No. Now go away."

"Fine!" after a minute of silence the sound of rocks hitting the side of the building was heard. Sasori and Deidara moved over to the edge of the roof, and as they reached it a rock flew straight at Deidara and hit him in the chest, falling into his lap. Sasori grabbed the rock from between Deidara's legs, not noticing the contact with Deidara's lower regions.

"Damn it Hidan go AWAY!" He threw the rock back down at the gray-haired man.

"HEY!" Sir Leader yelled out the window. "You're gonna break a fucking window! Get in here!" Hidan walked back inside, and Sir Leader mumbled "Why do I pay these idiots...?"

After laughing at Hidan's despair for a while Sasori and Deidara climbed back through the window. They sat on Sasori's bed for a while and talked about random things, yet somehow never got back into a fight over art. Glancing at the clock Deidara noticed the time. It was nearly 4 in the morning. "We should probably get some sleep, Danna, un." He yawned.

"Yeah," the puppet replied. Deidara got up off the bed and stretched.

"Night, un." he said, flashing a smile and a peace sign in Sasori's direction. He headed for the door. He was halfway down the hall to his own room when he felt himself being spun around by the hand. Then he felt hard wooden lips upon his own soft fleshy ones. They lingered there for a moment before pulling away. He was then embraced with strong puppet arms before he heard Sasori mutter a quiet "G'night, Deidara-kun." He watched the puppet slink back into his room, and turned to his own, smiling as he fell onto his bed, and into a deep sleep.

LE FIN