I was playing around with this idea in my head for quite some time now. This wont be the last of my christmas stories this season, belive me! :D Revieeeeeeeeeew, please. Oh, and with this one I recomend eating some holiday coookies. :D All I Want For Christmas is You.
But yeah, so it's dedicated to my BFF, partner in XF crime, dd ga future stalkers... and uhmm... one who keeps me up at night when i should be sleeping because she forgets im an hour ahead of her. Yeah, it's for Brittney, Teliko.x3. Mostly, because I felt bad for constantly IMing her about XF pilot and Deep Throat stuff while she was trying to study... and also because she ROCKS! :D
The lights were low as Scully decorated her Christmas tree. The apartment smelt just like Christmas, eucalyptus, pine needles, vanilla, and freshly baked cookies. The presents sat under it as she began hanging the last few ornaments. She wondered why she had waited so long that year. Usually her tree, which was alive of course, was up the day after Thanksgiving. She blamed it on work and all the silly places Mulder dragged her too. She walked over to her boom box on her desk and switch it on. It played a familiar Christmas song, Silent Night.
Scully wore her hair in a pony tail. Random strands of hair fell into her eyes, and she was now pushing them back so she could see her tree more clearly. Perfect. It was only missing the star on top.
She had almost forgotten to buy a new one after discovering her angel had burnt out. Her mind was so clouded those days. It blurred with a mixture of work, shopping, and Mulder. Mulder. She hated thinking about him and loved it at the same time. Lately he had been driving her subconscious crazy. All she could do was dream about him whenever she slept. She had thought that maybe her psych was trying to tell her something, but she pushed it aside.
Mulder was the man she worked with, her partner, her best friend... and quite frankly, her everything. But was she willing to risk it all to start something more? She wouldn't be just risking all that, but her job as well.
So she had been pushing him away lately. She could see in his deep green eyes how it hurt him, but what he probably didn't know was that it pained her as well. It caused her great pain in her chest. She didn't know what to do anymore. The dreams became all too real and they came even more frequent. Scully glanced to his present under the tree... a decoration for his fish tank, a flying saucer. It set her back nearly $60 for the thing. She found it at the pet shop when she was buying her nephew, Alex a gold fish.
Scully reached for the star on the couch and pushed over her ottoman so she could stand on that to put it up. Just then there was a knock at the door. Scully knew that knock. It was hers and Mulder's special knock. She smirked at the idea of seeing him. Her smile immediately turned upside down when she remembered how she had been towards him lately. She knew Mulder wasn't going to be rude or angry with her when she opened the door; she knew that. He was just so confused because her actions were sudden. She went to open the door.
"Mulder," She said with a smile creeping onto her lips. She tried to hide it, but she couldn't. He was wearing his brown leather jacket and a grey sweater underneath. He looked so adorable, especially with the snowflakes melting in his hair, compliments to the heater next to him.
"You seem surprised," Scully didn't answer, but she moved aside to allow him to come in. "I brought some ornaments my mom used to have. There from when I was a kid. I thought I could help you decorate your tree." He held up the large paper bag he carried in.
"Thanks but I'm already done." Mulder shedded off his jacket and hung it on the coat rack next to the door.
"Ahah, no you're not. You still have to hang up the star." She held up the gold plastic star she was carrying and walked back towards the medium sized Douglass fir. "Scully, what's wrong?"
"Nothing, everything is fine." He shook his head.
"I meant what's wrong with us?" His words caught her off guard, but she knew it would come sooner or later.
"I don't think I'm following." She glanced back to Mulder, and immediately wished she hadn't. She saw the pain in his eyes, and immediately felt the pain in her heart. What Scully's didn't know is that Mulder noticed her lips turn into a frown. She was sad, maybe just as sad as he was.
"You're distant." Scully reached up to crown the tree with the star, forgetting that the ottoman was right there for her to use as a step stool, Mulder's fault of course, for distracting her. "Here," Mulder reached for the star but Scully moved so quickly that he couldn't grab it. He bit his lip and wrapped his arms around her waist, lifting her up into the air. She gasped, and then let out a long sigh before placing the star on the tree and hooking it to the already lit colored lights.
Mulder allowed her to slide down so that her feet were now firmly on the ground, but his arms never left her body. They stayed wrapped around her waist, and she had to remind herself how to breathe. In fact, Mulder noticed that her breathing was uneven, jagged even. Scully stared straight up to the star, trying to focus on how beautiful it looked, but her mind always drifted back to the man holding her. Holding her. Why was he still holding her.
Any old person standing next to a tree that beautiful would have their attention on the lit up plant. But Mulder was captivated on the small woman he held, the small woman he would never let go of. He grew tired of the silence and turned her around in his arms. Her gaze wouldn't meet his. Her blue eyes were glued to her feet, and yet she wasn't pushing him away. She could've if she wanted to, but she wasn't. He used his index finger to lift up her chin so her eyes met his. They didn't; she turned the other way. She felt the heat in her cheeks grow. They were incredibly close. He gently cupped her cheeks, turning her face so that her eyes would finally meet his.
"Why can't you ever look me in the eye anymore Scully?" His voice was so soft and sincere; it sounded like he was praying. There wasn't any room for more lies now that they were that close. She had to be sincere in return. She had to be honest with Mulder and herself.
"I'm afraid." She admitted, wanting to turn her eyes away, ashamed. In fact, she could've. Mulder's hands weren't forcing her to look at him. He was gentle, as gentle you would be with a baby.
"You have nothing to be afraid of." He smiled into her eyes. Her hands slowly went to his face in attempt to touch him, but they fell limply onto his shoulders. "I would never hurt you intentionally; I would never let anything hurt you." His hand left her face, took her hand in his, and placed it on his very warm cheek. All the sincerity in his voice was overwhelming to her. He wasn't lying, but he didn't know her truth, what she had meant.
"I know you wouldn't, Mulder," She let out her breath. Since when had she been holding it in? She let her other hand try again to touch him. She did. She was now cupping his face while he cupped hers.
"Then what's the matter? Why push me away? We've been through this so many times..."
"No we haven't, Mulder, not like this." Her eyes began to tear up. Her emotions were fighting to get the best of her.
"What's wrong?" He insisted, prodded. He wanted to know so badly. He knew she was hurting. He saw it every time he looked at her. "Scully, when I see you in any pain... I'm twice as bad as you are. I hate seeing you suffer. It's in your eyes." His thumb moved up and down her face. Her palms left his face and her head fell into his chest. She pressed her body closed to his as she hugged. His arms went instinctively around her.
"I'm afraid of myself, Mulder... my feelings." She sniffed.
"I don't know what you mean."
"... M-my feelings towards you."
"Oh, those feelings," He spoke as if he knew that they were there all along. "Why do they frighten you?" Her glazed blue eyes snapped back up to his. "I would never hurt you Scully." He reminded her. "I would never hurt you Scully." She gave him a soft smile. "Besides, you didn't even ask if I had feelings for you in that way."
"Do you...?" He answered back with the softest kiss she had ever experienced, or known was possible. He licked her lower lip with his tongues, asking for entrance, which she happily granted. Together, their tongues slowly explored the area where they had never been before, but had been longing to go. He answered Scully's question clearly. All her questions were answered, and all her fears vanished as if they never existed.
The excitement of the kiss had taken a turn in the right direction. Every movement was quicker, fuller of desire. And instead of exploring, their tongues wrestled. Mulder had taken the tie out of Scully's hair and his hands were now tangled up in the red. Scully's right hand was on his neck, controlling him, while she left was pulling his hair with her fingers. She moaned into the kiss, and soon her knees gave out.
Mulder's hands went to just under her butt and lifted her up onto him. Her hands flew to his head. One of his remained below her butt and the other one went back to her hair. He lowered himself onto the ground and laid her below him. He steadied himself above her, careful not to crush her tiny body, and he broke off the kiss, needing air. Scully's chest was rising and falling quickly from the shortness of breath, and her chest was nearly impossible for Mulder to keep his eyes off of, with her cleavage already there. But, his eyes remain glue to her eyes, seeing no pain, but only excitement. They sparkled.
"Does that change anything?" She panted, still needing time to calm herself.
"Do you want it too?"
"I do... but... Mulder, we are two people working together. We're partners. Our jobs are going to be at stake."
"We already break all of the rules." Scully giggled, and turned her head to the side, biting her lip. Her eyes fell upon a square box wrapped in shiny green and red reflective wrapping paper with a bow on top.
"Here," She reached over and grabbed his present, the red and green wrapped box, "Open this... I know Christmas isn't for another three days.... but."
"What is it," He asked, shaking the present. His arms had grown tired; so now, he was up on his elbows, his chin resting on Scully's bust.
"Your Christmas present... and I'm not telling you what it is."
"All I want for Christmas is you." Scully beamed at his words.
"Just wait a while," She said lightly. "See how things work out... we'll go slow." Mulder's nodded, pecked her lips quickly, and went to sit on the couch. He shook the present again.
Once Scully's sat down next to him, hugging her legs to her chest, he pressed the bow onto Scully's head, grinning, and he tore open his present. He laughed once he read the title on the box and saw the picture. A floating saucer for his fish tank, it was perfect.
"That's cute," He smiled and leaned over to kiss her lips gingerly. She smiled as he pulled away. Mulder pulled her closer until she was on his lap. "Thank you."
"Didn't you bring ornaments?"
"Yeah, my mother's... and two other ones," He said, pulling her up off the couch. Mulder grabbed the bag, and pulled out a red headed doll and a brown haired man doll ornament. Scully covered her mouth as she giggled.
"Is that supposed to be us, Mulder?"
"No, are you kidding? It's me and my other partner." She playfully wacked him in the chest. He hung then up on the tree, and then they both began to hang up his mother's ancient ornaments.
The night ended with Scully curled up on the couch with Mulder, her head on his chest, under a blanket as they watched some random Christmas movie on life time. As time went by, she fell asleep in his arms, the way it should be, the way they both wanted it. Scully knew that venturing out into a relationship would be worth it, but she still feared. At least at home they couldn't hide. They were alone together, and it was lovely.
Did you like it? I hope you did. I gave up proof reading towards the end because I just really wanted to get this posted. So, I'm starting a canvas in Art... it's of what I think William looks like around age... 2? Please, hit the review button. I'll love you for it. -A.