Broken.

Shattered.

Torn.

My house was in ruins; pages ripped from books, the remains of a television strewn across the room, my furniture smashed to pieces, cushions stabbed again and again. Only one person would've done this and I knew exactly who that was - but why?

I woke with a start, cold sweat covering my body - that same nightmare. The same, every night, over and over. What was wrong with me? Sure, I knew what he'd done, I knew how much Ron had hurt me, I knew what the room in my dream symbolized - my heart, exactly as he'd left it. Why did this dream have to keep bothering me? This stupid dream had to keep coming back, I just wish it would go away, but in the months that had passed neither the dream, nor my memory of him had faded.

I felt so feverish - jeeze Hermione. Get a grip! You are so pathetic, snap out of it. It has been six weeks, yes, six whole weeks! Get on with your life and stop moping over some moron who cheated on you with your best friend! They're engaged, you have no chance of getting him back, he was a complete ass to you and you still like him, what is wrong with you!? As always I answered my own question, I was in love. I had this argument so many times in my head, and I always ended with the same conclusion, yet I couldn't help but hope, hope that I would get him back despite what my head told me. After all, they're only twenty, obviously they are going to break up, won't they...?

I stood only to fall back again, my legs were like jelly. Sitting there on the edge of my bed I gazed around my place, it was a small cluttered one-bed roomed apartment; my room was painted a deep delicious red that turned black by night, but tonight the full moon shone it's light through my window and made everything shimmer silver. Stacks and stacks of books filled the room, turning it into a maze. Two exits led out of the room; one to a small but stylish living room, complete with purple and white walls, and mix and match sofas and chairs, the other led to a tiny bathroom - there I slowly stumbled, using the books on either side of me as support.

As I opened the door the light flickered on and I caught sight of myself in the mirror, a sheen of sweat covered my skin and my face was tinged gray. I hated seeing myself now. Every time I did, I felt so ... so crap. I hated being me, absolutely hated it now he had gone. It wasn't the way I looked or how other people saw me. It was who I had become, without him. I wasn't me anymore, I was vulnerable and weak, I couldn't stand up for myself against any sort of criticism - not even my own. With that thought, came a wave of nausea and I ducked my head as last night's dinner displayed itself all around the toilet bowl. What was up with me? I'd been feeling nauseous for the last couple of weeks.

I splashed some water on my face and went back to bed. I sank back into a fitful sleep only to be woken a few hours later by cold winter light pouring in through the window and someone banging on the door.

Dragging myself out of bed and through the living room I called through the door,

"Who is it?"

"Hey 'Mione? Err... it's me, Ron..." I froze. My head was spinning and I felt sick...

What was he doing here? I hadn't seen him for weeks and now he had decided to turn up at my apartment.

I summoned up what little courage I had, drew in a shaky breath and opened the door. There he was, simply standing there. Pale skin, bright blue eyes, shaggy orange hair, a lanky build and a smile that made me weak at the knees - not that there was one on his face this morning. His eyes looked me up and down and stared at me concernedly, suddenly I was wishing I had looked in the mirror before I answered the door.

"So, what can I do for you Ron? A bit early in the morning for a friendly visit." He glanced down away from my eyes seeming to wish he had never come.

"Sorry, were you sleeping? I didn't mean to wake you." He replied quietly.

"Sure, mind just telling me why you're here so I can get you off my doorstep." I said waspishly.

"Look, I'm sorry Hermione... You know I am-".

"I don't care for you apologies just tell me what you want." He looked stunned, I never talked to anyone that way. Good, he deserved it. This way he didn't know I still spent nights crying over him.

"Okay, I just came to get the stuff I left here."

"I gave it to Katie weeks ago, which I'm sure she didn't forget to give to you. Then again, knowing Katie she's probably thrown it out in case it reminds you of me." Giving him a sarcastic smile, I slammed the door in his face.

Turning around, I leant on the door only to slowly slide down it as tears pricked my eyes. From the other side of the door I heard a sigh and retreating footsteps. He didn't have to come round, there was absolutely no need for that, all I wanted was for him to disappear. Why wouldn't the memories of him go away, I wish I hadn't ever met him and why did Katie even introduce me - I'd known she wanted him for herself but she had said it was fine if I liked him and he liked me. I guess for her it had but not for me. Not now. Swarmed by the memories of me and Ron, I didn't know if I would ever get over him...

*4 months previously

I'd never really been a hopeless romantic, one who dreamed of their perfect wedding and finding the perfect guy, but I guess from an early age I'd known that the dream guy every girl pictured was illusions of hope from watching Disney films and reading fairy tales. The ones where Prince Charming rescues the fair maiden. Although, like any girl I still hoped that someone, one day, might come along and prove me wrong. Yet so far - nothing. No wondrous guy who is sweet and funny and of course, insanely handsome... just the normal average guys, who don't have a clue what they're doing or what girls want. Every now and then there's been one who is either funny, or good-looking, or sweet - but they always have flaws; flaws that outweigh the positive points and then there have been the guys who are extremely cocky and full of themselves - you know the ones, they care more about themselves than they do about anyone else. Ron, unfortunately, was one of those guys. When we finally started dating; I thought he was the one, my very own Prince Charming but after a couple of weeks I found out just how mistaken I was.

8th May, 1999. A friend of mine had invited me to their birthday party, it was going to be one hell of a night and well, it was – Katie Bell was dragging me round, introducing me to everyone. She'd been doing this for at least an hour before he saved me. He'd been introduced to me earlier – of course, he didn't need to be. We had known each other all through Hogwarts but after a massive falling out in our last year I hadn't spoken to him since. That's when I had gotten to know Katie, she had been sympathetic and we became fast friends. Harry had still spent time with me and now we had left Hogwarts we met for lunch often when his work allowed him to, he might have been in the middle of the argument but he had somehow managed to stay friends with both of us. When Ron and I saw each other again, we had tentatively started chatting. I remembered how sweet he could be, and charming but I'd been pulled away by Katie to meet 'interesting' people. Anyway, he wandered over to us, joining in our conversation, after about five minutes he leaned over and asked me quietly whether I would join him outside, so we excused ourselves and weaved our way through the crowd and out the door, where he pulled me into his car and took me for a drink.

That evening we talked for hours, getting reacquainted and swapped numbers. From then on, we saw each other often, within two weeks we decided to be officially together and the following month was amazing, until he started to become annoyed by my presence. Soon, he disappeared all the time, ignoring my calls and whenever we did go out together he was irritated easily and constantly criticizing me and generally being annoyed by my presence. In the end, he finished it, I put up with him through all of that because I'd fallen in love him. It turns out he didn't feel the same way about me after all, he was using me to get closer to Katie. But what am I supposed to do - she loves him too after all.

Hey all,

This is just something new I've been working on.

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Inklunn