Disclaimer: All characters and settings belong to BioWare. I own nothing.

Salem Cousland

"Do what you need to do and get back to camp." I told the others. "Keep as low a profile as you can."

"Sod it." Oghren groused. "First chance to buy a decent brew since Orzammar and ya gotta go and say play it close to the vest."

"We cannot risk exposure." Leliana broke in, smiling just for me. "I know that I, for one, do not want to be in Loghain's prison."

Her eyes filled with nightmares for a single moment. I knew no amount of sheer joy would remove them completely. Our errand was of a grim nature, one that would drag her back, kicking and screaming, to the hell she called her past. I only prayed I could be there for her when all was said and done.

"Denerim is more dangerous than it seems." Wynne agreed with me. "Salem is right. It is best we finish our business and return to camp."

"Yes." Alistair drawled. "I'm sure Morrigan is dying for us to return and keep her company."

I laughed and we went our different ways. I walked beside Leliana, unsure of what to say. These feelings between us were so new, and already being tried and tested. What lines are drawn between us? I wondered. I'm too afraid to overstep; too scared to draw away. Maker, tell me what she needs.

As if in answer to a voiceless prayer, Leliana's hand slipped in mine.

"Are you all right?" I dared to ask.

"No." she whispered. "I wish that I could step away from this moment, let someone else slip into my body, and watch this like the dramas in the theatres of Orlais."

"I wish I could give you that opportunity. You do know, Leliana, you did not have to come. Alistair and I would..."

"I know what you would have done." she interrupted. "And while I am grateful, you know enough of me to understand that I must do this myself. I must see Marjolaine with my own eyes."

"But why just take me?" I asked. "Why not bring along Wynne, or Alistair? They're trustworthy."

She smiled again and my heart leapt. Strange, that moments like this reminded me of how it felt to be young. My family's massacre had propelled me into bloodshed and death, betrayal and intrigue. Funny, that even in the midst of hell, I could claw out some happiness and give my heart to love. I wished I could have talked with my mother about this...although the lecture about the lack of grandchildren would have chafed.

"Salem," Leliana's voice broke me from reverie, "you are the only one I have let peer into my heart. It is no longer something I give away easily. You must think me very selfish, asking and allowing only you when numbers would endanger us less."

I stopped her in the alley and stared into her gorgeous blue eyes. "I trust your judgment, and you. If you think the two of us alone can deal with Marjolaine, I am content."

"Be careful, Salem." she touched my cheek. "Your nobility is showing."

"Ha!" I scoffed.

My father was known for the unorthodox ways in which he raised his children. I had been the laughingstock of the bannorn. I wonder what they would think if they could see me now, two swords hanging from my back, wearing plate armor, charging into battle against darkspawn, werewolves, abominations...and in love with an Orlesian bard.

"You laugh, but it is true. Despite your warrior ways, you are every inch nobility."

"Then I should fear for my life." I grinned. "Or so your stories lead me to believe."

Leliana shushed me as a patrol of Loghain's soldiers passed by. "Hush, my love." she cautioned. "Do not jest of things too close to the truth. It invites misfortune."

"Because the fact that the arch-demon can sense me does not already invite such things."

"Your dark humor is so charmingly Ferelden." she shook her head, though her tone held amusement. "And it is something both you and Alistair have in common. Although, for some reason, Morrigan finds yours amusing and his appalling."

Morrigan, right. We need to finish this quickly before she enchants our bedrolls to strangle us in the night.

"I cannot even pretend to vaguely understand that one." I took Leliana's arm and guided her down the alley. "I know this will be difficult, Leliana," I altered the subject of our discussion, "but I am here for you. I promise you that I will not let Marjolaine harm you again."

"Can you promise me one thing?" Leliana asked.

"Of course."

"Support my decision, no matter the outcome. Please, even if it seems irrational, or ridiculous, let me make this choice for myself."

This is why she wanted to do this with me alone. I realized. None of the others would leave her decisions unchallenged. And I would become a mediator instead of someone who should support her wholeheartedly.

"You are asking me to let you go." my throat tightened. "Aren't you?"

Her lower lip trembled and she nodded. "Please, Salem."

My heart lurched uncomfortably in my chest and a memory flooded back into my eyes.

I lie back, watching Leliana's hands tremble as they pluck at the edge of her shirt. Her shoulders are bunched, knotted. I want to rise and massage them, but this is a battle she must face alone.

"In the Chantry, many of the sisters bathed together." she breaks the silence. "So many had come from varied backgrounds, but all that mattered was the task at hand. No questions were raised, no information demanded. It was pleasant, for a while, to forget the past, to fabricate stories...anything so as not to reveal...the truth."

Hesitant, trembling, she pulls her shirt over her head and lays it aside, allowing me to gaze on her body for the first time. I gasp, following her deep curves, drinking in the shadows as they dance across her body. She turns her back to me and I see what she keeps concealed.

Horrific scars cover her back. I rise and trace the lines of marred skin from the tops of her shoulders, down, until they disappear beneath her rough-spun linen pants. "I am...sorry..." she whispers, "...that I cannot offer you something whole."

I take her into my arms, enfolding her from behind, kissing her shoulders, tracing the scars across her abdomen and sides with my callused fingers. "Shhhh, love." I soothe her, wiping away her tears. "You are whole. I love you, and these scars are part of you. Part of what I love."

I kiss her, assuring her with actions what I cannot say with words. She returns it, feverish, too ardent too soon, trying to burn away her tears and her memories. My hands trace up and down her sides, stopping as I feel another scar, ragged and poorly healed.

"Who did this to you?" I ask, pulling away from her kiss. Leliana presses her head into my shoulder.

"The one I loved...more than anything."

Someone you loved...betrayed you in this way? Marred you? Tried to steal your life? Never, Leliana, will I let someone touch you again in this way. And, I think, you are not prepared for my touch...no matter that you came tonight intending to offer me such a thing. It is not time. Not yet.

"I see." I swallow, unsure of what to say.

"Can we speak of this...some other time?" she pleads with eyes and words. "Tonight..."

"I will just love you." I smile. "As you are, for who you are. Now, my darling girl, no more words."

I guide her down onto my bed roll, fitting our bodies together, listening to her breath hitch as my hands rove over her arms and torso. She is not ready to give me that which I desire. She offers her body in lieu of her heart, and I will not take until she can give me both. Tonight will be for rest, for trust, for love.

I snapped back to the present, remembering that moment when I had chosen to accept Leliana, her secrets, her smiles, and her scars.

"I promise." I swore to her, knowing as we approached the door that my own heart could be forfeit.