AN:

Hello! I'm x-Ethereal-Soldier-x, or you can call me Miles. This is my first fanfiction and also, I'm fairly new to the fandom so please keep this in mind, but don't be afraid to hold back on me.

I had a night recently that... went a lot like this one, and I just wanted to give a certain special someone an idea of what it's like to have a heart condition, and now I'm sharing it with everryyonnee!

Please enjoy and let me know what you think! ~

The chatter of an earlier self's voice and thoughts, as well as that of his cohorts clamored softly in his mind like white noise from a tvset. That was the blonds cue that he probably should rest his blonde little head on his violet pillow and let the voices carry him off into dreamland. Instead, the pillow was used to prop his body up as crystal blue eyes scanned the pages of his newest book. He didn't often read for pleasure but the cover caught his eye, and the summary on the back only made it look more enticing. His hand had been practically glued to it ever since, quickly turning through the pages, with freshly painted amethyst fingertips. It was called Relinquish, and it was about the tragic lives of a hot-blooded slave at the end of his rope, an emotionally distant demon king, and his damaged precarious descendant, all caught up in a twisted love triangle.

The red LED letters on his clock real 1:35AM... just a few moments... he first told himself two hours ago. Just a little longer. It wasn't like he had anywhere to be in the morning anyway. Besides, ever since he took that dagger to the chest his body wasn't feeling right. And it ran deeper than just the superficial damage. Little shockwaves tore through his body, he felt the light flutter of his heart at the smallest exertion. So really. He just needed time to kick back and relax. Lord Pain had agreed as well and postponed their next mission. That's all. Then he could go right back to missions and using said missions as a jumping point for him to improve his eruptive art even more.

'I want to build myself up to such tremendous heights... That in a blast of radiant light I can drag them all to hell... my chakra ripping through their bodies, severing the ionic bonds in their atoms, breaking at the most basic levels severing the link between body and soul- making this entire world my canvas!'

Yes, he and his aspirations had come quite a long ways from the small boy who wanted to learn basic explosive tag work – the moment you become satisfied with yourself and the world around you is the moment you give up and die, afterall.

He sighed wistfully and slowly lowered the book for a second. Did he forget to put the cap back on his nail polish remover? The stuff smelt like roses, or some kinda flowery scent- he like it okay? Nothing wrong with that! But knowing his luck if it was uncapped he'd tip it over in the morning.

So all he did was prop himself so he could see, and squint his eyes to try and see into the darkness... The bottle was, in fact, capped but a strong surging heartbeat shocked his body - one got so use to that rhythm they had moved to their entire life, so he could tell it was an abnormal heartbeat from the very first 'note', and as the rhythm pounded faster and faster in his chest it removed any question in his mind. Godamn arrhythmia again! Of course it would happen now and not earlier at a... logical point of exhaustion; his hand was cramping hard core!

'Shit... I was too careless...' He took deep breaths innn and outttt, innn and ouuuttt... but his heart seemed to say 'fuck you' as the erratic pounding in his chest only picked up in pace. It felt as if he was being forced to run as fast as he could. Keep running, keep running

Keep running till you die.

Deidara was not a patient man, but for this he knew he had no choice. So he laid their breathing deeply, for what must have been an hour, just waiting for the beat to slow and with a sharp pinch.

It would stop, and his heart would carry on, to that rhythm he knew verbatim, as if nothing had ever happened.

But this time there was no sharp pinch, or even a lull in the fierce melody his heart clamored and roared – pretty much head-banging in there and setting up a mosh pit. It didn't feel like it was slowing at all, so after all of these years, experiencing the abnormal rhythm, he began to feel true unease rip through his body. What if it didn't stop? How much thrashing could his hear manage before it just … ceased entirely?

He found himself climbing out of bed, vision a little shaky as he pulled on gray pajama bottoms.

His cohorts in the artistic organization, the Akatsuki... weren't exactly sympathetic. Most of them would just laugh in his face with a snide remark of 'better you than me, you pussy'! Before slamming the door in his face. Well... Tobi would probably rip his door of the hinges … but no doubt he'd be bouncing off the wall, and act as if he were the one who's heart risked failure. And well... people like that sure as hell didn't help – the spasmodic, neurotic motions in his chest, along with similar motions on the outside was just double-teaming.

What he needed right now was someone who's calm demeanor might catch on, and who would be willing to help him. Fortunately he knew of once such person. The very same one that had bandaged his wound with surprisingly gentle hands. He'd despised that man with every fiber of his being until that day. Afterwards they'd sometimes catch one-another's gaze in the hallways -Itachi's somehow more and more frigid with each encounter, or cross paths at dinner time. Otherwise it was pretty hard for the Akatsuki to really run into one another. They were constantly coming and going on different missions – Deidara and Sasori only returning recently after seeing a small nation in flames and cinders... then he took a dagger to the chest. Fucking stupid Hidan!

He'd seen Itachi earlier at this rather informal dinnertime – those skilled in the way of the kitchen knife would serve up something nice while those that weren't exactly... the sharpest knives in the cooking drawer would come in and beg for some scraps. It was a kinda weird occurrence, but Deidara had to admit... He loved seeing his cohorts eyes light up when they tasted his cooking, even if they rarely uttered a 'thank you'. Deidara was fully expecting to be the one with the chefs hat on tonight, but he'd entered to find Kisame and Sasori with looks of aggravation inscribed on their faces.

"It's rude to make someone wait!"Sasori had hissed.

"Well genius takes patience!" The raven haired man has sounded oddly flustered. There were various different edibles sitting on the counter, all with very slight imperfections. Sasori and Kisame eyed the food with yearning, but a harsh glare from those bright crimson eyes kept them firm in their seats. Deidara felt that hot gaze come his way too.

"Don't worry, hm. I just want to watch you fail." Deidara strolled over, and the heat from those eyes all but disappeared.

"You wish for me to teach you how to cook?" He could have sworn there was a gleam in those crimson eyes.

"Shut up, hm! You eat my food without any complaints. Besides, you're off your game. You need to relaxxxx, assface." He placed his hands on Itachi's shoulders and rubbed firm circles over those firm tense muscles, pulling a soft groan from the Uchiha as he continued to cook."Don't get the wrong idea. I just owe you for the other day. That's all, yeah!" He growled in Itachis ear. Though in truth, Deidara had felt rather contented by those soft, hardly audible noises and how the weight and tension practically rolled Itachi's his shoulders. He was a little more focused, and soon enough Itachi had a nice serving of spaghetti he deemed worthy (topped with truffles, as per Deidara's suggestion.)

After that Itachi had set next to him, and they had carried out a friendly conversation – it was still such a strange thing, the bitter blackened bile that seemed to rise everytime he came anywhere near the male – along with his fully unbridled fury. Well. It was gone. And even more so. There was a rather... profound moment during that dinner. When Deidara reached to go for a second helping, it seemed Itachi had the same idea. He;d felt those fingertips brush against his, and the sensation sent a jolt of shivering warmth down his hand. He'd turned his head and when his gaze met Itachi's he saw a fire smoldering in those black eyes unlike anything he'd ever seen before, but as quick as that look came it fell under the superficial layer, with barely a ripple over the perfect surface of that statuesque expression. He didn't so much as glance in Deidara's direction after that and it make Deidara feel oddly hollow and yet heavy.

Deidara sighed softly as he returned from the memory, which filled him with warmth in the same way as the food that filled his stomach. Now he was back to the alarming moment at hand.

He knocked softly on the door. Moments later that tall man emerged. His long ebony locks, normally tied back in a neat and loose ponytail hung free around his shoulders. There was a flicker of question in those dark eyes. "What is it, Deidara?" His cold expression betrayed nothing as he studied the shorter males face. Deidara's brow was knit, lips unfurled into a soft frown, and crystal eyes that normally blazed passionately even while preforming the most mundane tasks looked so ... languid.

Wordlessly, Deidara took one of Itachi's hands and gently placed it over the tatoo on his chest- it would be far simpler this way.

Those cold eyes narrowed dangerously at first, then flickered ever so slightly. Normally one could only make out the faintest little flutter of the human heart, so delicate and fragile, but Deidara's hammered against his chest almost as if it were trying to escape. Typical Deidara. His heart had to out-preform everyone else's didn't it? A soft chuckle escaped his lips.

"Don't laugh at me asshole! Hm!"

"I would never dream of it." one of those innocent smiles tugged at his features. The one that made his face absolutely light up like some darling angel. But Deidara knew the truth! "Shouldn't you perhaps try to find Konan? I don't understand what I could do for you." In truth he was relieved..

'more than you'd ever know.' His lips quivered with desire to say the words. "... She can't help me. Hm. It's beyond any helping."

"Clearly you don't think so, or you would not be at my door, of all places." His voice was incredibly level and calm, just as always. He knew that Deidara wouldn't hesitate to thrust cold steel into his back if he were ever presented a chance. Deidara wanted to yell some more, but the hand pressed to his chest moved, and soon their fingers were intertwined, and the artist was pulled into the dark room where they could be alone. "What do you wish me to do?" Itachi tilted his head. By all rights, he could have slammed the door in Deidara's face but... something in that expression reminded him distinctly of Sasuke that had his maternal intincts churning... and well. Maybe something else. "I still don't understand why you're-"

"I'm scared okay! Hm!" Deidara cried out. "Don't you ever tell anyone I said that... but I'm just..." He remembered that touch and the way it had felt. He wanted Itachi to do the same for him now.

"Such petty actions are a waste of time, Deidara." He stated. "How would such a thing benefit me?"

That was right. Itachi wasn't like the others... He felt strong arms pull him close, and he did not resist, instead laying his head against Itachi's chest, listening to that heartbeat about as soft and gentle as those hands that painful day.

Soon he was pressed down to sit on the bed. A weight was added next to his then those strong arms snared him up again. He felt the most calming warmth spread throughout his body. Yes... that was what he wanted. With a smile he allowed himself to close his eyes, and tried to push the burning straining sensation of his fatigued heart, still pounding fierce in his chest.

"Itachi... can you.. say something? hm"

"...What?"

"Anything. Tell me about your day, a funny story. Anything at all. I just want to hear your voice, hm." There was something incredibly soothing about the mans voice and his tone, so deep and yet oddly soft and light, betraying little emotion. The rise and fall of those words could put him to sleep easily.

"You want to hear me talk?" His voice dripped lightly with amusement. "If I didn't know better, Deidara. I could swear youve become fond of me, and perhaps these eyes too." Ebony eyes flashed crimson for a brief second.

"Yeah so?-" Deidara's eyes widened. Did he really just say that out loud? "I mean no! no! hm!"

His eyes were glued to Itachi's face, expecting ugly emotions to pass over his beautiful countenance, but instead a deep joyous chuckle escaped his lips. "Deidara you're too much fun. Are you blushing? Be-still your quivering heart plea-"

"Shut up and just... say something, Hm!"

"You know what?" Itachi mused. "I don't think I need to say anything. I think I have the cure for you."

"What do you- w-what!" He panicked as the taller male's face moved closer and closer, and before he could react his lips were pressed firm against Itachi's. His breath caught in his throat, and just like that there was that all too familiar pinch in his chest that made him wince. The warmth of those lips disappeared. "Deidara are you alright?" There was the tiniest hint of concern in his eyes.

"Holy shit!" Deidara's eyes were round and wide. Just like that the soft flutter- a little elevated from distress, but it was the same rhythm he knew so well. A little strained now but still. "It worked!"

"I thought as much. When your breath catches like that it causes a slight elevation in blood pressure that resets the heart, and-" Warm lips were pressed to Itachi's, effectively silencing what would no doubt be a nerdy rant. Each little movement was so gentle. So unsure. Testing the waters and sizing one another up. He wrapped his arms around Itachi, eagerly enveloping his warmth as completely as possible. The soft 'smack' of lips moving together was the only sound that filled the room. Even something so gentle as the little brush of their lips shot sparks throughout the artists body, quickly beginning to burst into flames. He'd never known anything like these feelings existed. It was like huge fireworks going of in the sky, worlds here and gone with a single flickering moment and more. All of that between their lips. Soon Deidara began moving with more purpose, moaning almost wantonly into Itachi's mouth. The sparks set off over his skin made touches extra sensitive. His body knew exactly what it wanted from Itachi, even if Deidara himself could not fathom of how badly he wanted this man between his legs.

"Deidara..." Itachi's voice was deepened with lust. "W-We should stop..." that strong voice quivered, as his hips rocked back and forth, clearly desiring something more than expected himself.

"W-Why?"

"Because of your heart, you dolt." A sharp pain at his forehead made Deidara cry out. Itachi had flicked his forehead with the thumb and index fingers. Those ebony eyes still bubbled, barely contained behind that blank facade he seemed to adore.

"I -I know..." He sighed deeply and just laid there, limp. Itachi would probably push him away after this...

"Tomorrow night." He felt hot breath against his ear, pulling an involuntary shiver from his body. "If you're up for it."

Deidara's eyes grew round and he slowly nodded.

"Good. Now get some rest. You need it. As do I." there was a light flick of Itachi's tongue against Deidara's earlobe before the heat was withdrawn, and he laid down at Deidara's side, pulling him close as a strange sense of comfort washed over him. Maybe in this cruel life, Itachi could be selfish just this once?

What did you think? If it's requested I could add a little more! Promise It would have more action! ~ Also, I wrote that novel Deidara was reading xD

Thank you kindly!