Lyrics to O.P.P. by Naughty by Nature (1991)
There were two places in the world Lana Loud loved to be beside the dump - in her old brother's arms, naked, panting, and covered in sweat - and The Pizza Dungeon. That place was the best. It had games, a playground (with an awesome ball pit), and was really, really gross: The floors were always sticky, the tables unwashed and crusted with food, and the bathrooms...sweet mama, the bathrooms! You could smell them as soon as you walked through the front door, and once you actually went into one of them, the stench jammed itself into your nose and virtually raped you. The toilets were splattered with poop and pee, the mirrors were grimy, and, if you were lucky, the commode would overflow when you tried to flush it.
It was only natural, then, that she would choose to have her seventh birthday party there - Lola got to pick last year, and this time it was her turn. The Pizza Dungeon, please! Everyone groaned and tried to talk her out of it, but her mind was made up. It's either that or the dump she said, knowing full well that no one would choose the latter - though if they did, she'd be more than happy with that too.
On October 13, the Saturday before hers and Lola's actual birthday, she sat at a booth along the wall with Lincoln, Lola, and her father, and giddily watched as a swarm of kids mobbed the playground. Lola sat next to her with crossed arms and a glower, and Lincoln sat across the table, looking like he'd rather be anywhere but here.
She opened her mouth to speak, but trailed off when Dino the Hip Hop Dragon, The Pizza Dungeon's dinosaur-suited mascot, strutted over, a pair of shades covering his eyes and a red banana wrapped around his forehead. At the next booth over, Lori looked over her shoulder, saw him, and narrowed her eyes, and across from her, Luna snickered the way one does when they see a hopeless loser walking by.
"Yo, yo, what it do? Who the birfday girl?" He looked from Lana to Lincoln. "Nigga, I know you." He slapped the back of hand into Lincoln's chest, and Lincoln jumped. "You was in here with that nigga arm I broke. How his sista doin?"
Lincoln blushed - he didn't like being put on the spot. "Uh, good. She, uh, she had her babies."
Dino nodded, then froze. "Nigga, what? Babe-ees?"
"Yeah," Lincoln said, "t-triplets."
DIno looked at him for a moment, then threw back his head and shrieked laugher. "Goddamn, nigga. She and that fat boy all fucked, huh?"
"Yeah, they both look really tired all the time. And she's gained a lot of weight."
Hanging his head, Dino waved his hand as if to say stop, you're killing me. "Anyway, nigga, who the birfday girl?"
"Lana and Lola," Lincoln said, "my sisters."
Dino turned to them: Lola ignored him and Lana grinned sheepishly. "Hey."
"Happy birthday, girl." He turned to Lola...waited for her to acknowledge him...then looked her up and down when she didn't. "Can't say hey?"
Lola humphed.
"I see how it is," Dino hummed. "Little miss thang think she too good fo my dungeon."
"I am too good for this place," Lola spat. "Clean your bathrooms every once in a while."
Dino weaved his head from side to side like a sassy black woman. Uh-oh. "Okay, I see, don't worry, hope you ain't tryna play no games. I don't give tokens to little brats."
Lola sneered.
"That's right. No Pac-Man, nigga, no STUN Runner, no games. You lucky Imma let you have yo pizza. I oughta take that away too."
"Take yourself away," Lola said.
Dino glared at her...then walked off with a shake of the head. Lana let out a pent-up breath and Lincoln sagged his shoulders; they were both expecting things to go from bad to worse.
After the run-in with Dino, Lana went back to staring longingly at the ball pit, an idea forming in the back of her mind then moving to the front like an air bubble. Since she and Lincoln started going out (if that's what you wanna call it), they did their best to not act too chummy in front of everyone else, but it was her birthday, the scent of the dirty bathrooms was turning her on, and she was even more in love with her older brother than yesterday. "Hey, Linc, wanna go play in the ball pit?"
Lincoln glanced across the dining room and frowned. "I dunno, it looks really crowded." He turned to her, and she winked at him. When she said play, she meant play.
See, she loved doing sex with him, but she really wanted to try nasty stuff - he wasn't into it, but promised to do things with her anyway. Just...nothing too crazy. She figured she had to start small. Right? Work him up to bigger stuff. One of the things they talked about doing, and that he reluctantly agreed to, was doing sex in public. It didn't have to be full blown sex, they could touch each other or she could suck him - it didn't really matter, she just liked how grody it was.
"Uh...I dunno. The, uh, the pizza's gonna be here soon."
Next to him, Dad, his hands steepled in front of him, made a noise in the back of his throat. "I doubt that, son. We'll be waiting another hour for these bozos. Go have fun. I'll call you when it's ready."
Lincoln blushed and favored Lana with a beseeching look. Please, no; I'm afraid we'll get caught.
She rolled her eyes. She loved him to death, but he could be such a Weenie Hut Jr.s' sometimes. "C'mon, Linc," she said and slipped out of the booth.
With a sigh, Lincoln got up. "Fine," he said sullenly.
She reached out, took his hand, and dragged him toward the playground as, to their left, Dino took the stage. "What it do, y'all? We gonna drop this next one fo' the real niggas in the house."
Piano driven music backed by a drum beat filled the restaurant, and Dino started bobbing his head and throwing up gang signs. Kids crowded the stage and pumped their firsts, a little white boy about three putting his hands on his knees and twerking against a morbidly obese black girl with braids.
O.P.P., how can I explain it? I'll take it, frame by frame it
To have y'all all jumpin', shoutin', sayin' it
O is for "other," P is for "peoples'," scratch your temple
The last P, well, that's not that simple
It's sort of like, well, another way to call a cat a kitten
It's five little letters that are missin' here
Lana threw a glance at the stage and frowned; Dino did a perfect front flip, then followed it up with a sick one handed cartwheel. How he could do all of that in that bulky dinosaur suit?
Hm.
One of life's great mysteries.
She and Lincoln were at the ball pit now - a little set of stairs provided access to the opening; kids splashed happily in the plastic tide, one climbing up the side of the mesh wall, slapping his elbow, and dropping onto a playmate like the Rock or something.
"Lana," Lincoln said nervously, "this really isn't a good idea."
How many brothers out there know just what I'm gettin' at
Who think it's wrong 'cause I was splittin' and co-hittin' that
Well, if you do, that's O.P.P. and you're not down with it
But if you don't, here's your membership
Lana hummed. "Of course it is." Before he could protest further, she went up the stairs and hopped into the pit. "Come on, Linc!" she cried over her shoulder. "The balls are warm and sticky - just like your cum!"
A shocked blush colored Lincoln's face and he whipped his head around to see if anyone heard, but nobody was paying attention to them. He looked at Lana, his face setting into a stern expression: She was always doing stuff like that. One time she said something about his penis in front of Lori. She thought it was hilarious, he did not - maybe the thought of getting caught excited her, but it downright terrified him. They'd both wind up in therapy or something, and worse - they couldn't be together anymore. That prospect filled him with dread.
She responded to his admonishing look with a gap-tooth grin that lit her face like a lamp. "Come on, Lincy-stinky." She picked up a red ball and threw it at the mesh wall. "You know you wanna."
Sigh. It was really hard staying mad at her.
"Alright," he said and climbed the stairs. Instead of jumping, he waded in slowly, wincing at the feeling of the balls. She wasn't lying: They were warm and sticky, as though each one had been dipped in soda and left to dry in the hot sun. God alone knew what was in here - dirty diapers lost at the bottom, e. Coli, maybe a dead body.
On her knees, Lana grinned up at him, and he forced himself to sit. "We're not doing anything dirty though," he said and held up a finger.
Have you ever known a brother
Who had another, like, a girl or wife
And you just had to stop a toast
'Cause he looked just that nice?
You looked at him, he looked at you
And you knew right away
He had someone but he was gonna be yours anyway!
Lana cocked her head, lifted her brows challengingly...and grabbed his crotch, making him jump. "I say we are."
A little girl waded past, climbed out, and went away, Lincoln flinching and expecting her to see and send up an alarm. "N-No," he said, doing his best to sound firm.
Onstage, Dino threw the mic down and Crip-walked back and forth, much to the audience's delight. Lana squeezed, and Lincoln's breath caught. She leaned in, her face filling the world, her eyes burning with passion and the corners of her lips turning slyly up. Lincoln gulped, feeling like a lamb in the maw of a wolf; even so, he was starting to get hard. Her sweet breath broke across his nose and he reflexively inhaled, the smell steeping his brain. "I'm just gonna give you a quick handie, okay?"
Lincoln licked his lips. He wanted to say no, but found himself nodding instead. Lana's grin widened, and she fumbled for the zipper.
Screw it, Lincoln thought; YOLO. He brushed her hand away, undid the button, and yanked the zipper down. Lana giggled. "That's the spirit," she said and tugged the waistband of his briefs, her fingertips slipping in and threading through his snowy white pubic hair. She purred and pulled them over his throbbing erection, freeing it. Lincoln looked anxiously around - the closest kids were in the far corner, either wrestling or having an orgy, he couldn't tell, couldn't think; Lana's slender fingers wrapped lovingly around his length, her touch warm, soft, and gentle in contradiction to her rough, tomboyish nature.
Lincoln arched his hips and splayed his hands on the floor of the pit; balls covered all but the head - it looked like a periscope peeking up from the waves. Lana stared hungrily down at it as she stroked up, her cheeks turning red and her breathing coming faster, more ragged. She glanced up at him, and their eyes locked. "See?" she asked and brushed her thumb tenderly across the tip, collecting and smearing a bead of his precum. "No one's gonna -"
A voice spoke from outside the ball pit, and they both jolted. "Oh, hell no!"
Lana whipped her hand away and Lincoln shoved his boner back into his underwear, his heart slamming so hard the edges of his vision grayed.
"I saw that," Dino said, "got yo dick out in my ball pit, nigga, what's wrong with you? Little kids -"
When Lincoln and Lana both looked at him, he froze...then flipped his sunglasses up. "Hol' up. Ain't y'all related?"
Lincoln seized up like a deer in the headlights, and Lana sputtered. "N-N-No, we, uh…"
Dino shrank back. "Oh, y'all nasty. Imma tell the manager on yo asses."
"No!" Lincoln and Lana cried in unison. "Please don't tell," Lana begged, tears springing to her eyes. She got to her knees and balled her hands in supplication. "We're so sorry."
"We w-w-won't do it again," Lincoln stammered - he was cold and trembled with horror at the thought of his parents separating him and Lana. She was his sister, but she was more than that - he loved her with everything he had, loved her grossness, her laugh, the happy light in her eyes, the way she snuggled up to him when they sat together on the couch, her head rubbing against his arm like an affectionate cat. Bitter tears spilled down his cheeks and his lips quivered. "Please don't tell."
Lana was crying now too. "Our mom and dad will break us up and I love him!"
For a moment Dino considered them...then made a sound of disgust. "Fine, I won't tell, damn."
Matching expressions of hope blossomed on Lincoln and Lana's face.
"But y'all bout to owe me."
Lincoln and Lana shared a worried glance, then Lana looked at Dino, her eyes flicking shamefully down. As Lincoln watched in horror, she walked to the mesh on her knees. "Uh...what do you want?" she asked. She'd suck him if she absolutely had to, but she hoped to God he didn't want that.
"Bitch, get yo Dennis the Menace lookin ass out my grill," Dino said and waved her off. She breathed a deep sigh of relief. Whew. "Imma lotta things, but I ain't no pedo. I dunno what I want, but keep yo'selves ready cuz one day Imma call on yo asses. Feel me?"
Lincoln and Lana both nodded eagerly; anything to keep his silence.
"Now get the fuck up out my ball pit."
That evening, Lola Loud sat at her vanity and brushed her long, silky hair in slow, even strokes. She wore a flimsy pink nightgown under a robe and fuzzy slippers that tickled the soft skin of her feet. Her glossed lips shimmered in the light cast by the bulbs surrounding the mirror and her blue shadowed eyes stared at her reflection, wondering, for the millionth time that day, what Lincoln saw in Lana of all people.
Umhm, she knew all about them. They thought they were slick, but they weren't; she saw the way they acted with one another, always touching and cuddling and yuck. That was her first clue, her second came when she woke up one night to find Lana's bed empty...for the second time. Once is a coincidence or something, two times is not. Her third clue followed on the heels of the second - she got up and went into the hall to look for Lana and heard noises coming from Lincoln's room. She pressed her ear to the door and listened, then drew back with a gasp when she heard Lana moaning like Mom did when she and Dad were having "alone time" in their room. Ew, gross! Lola didn't know much about sex, but she did know that you're not supposed to do it with your siblings. *Shiver*
She was going to tell, but decided to take mercy on them - it was way nasty, but despite being kind of a bitch, she did love her siblings and didn't want to see them, like, go to jail or anything. She'd just ignore it.
Only she couldn't, it was like a trainwreck - first, because ew, incest, then, as she watched them more and more, because ew, Lana? Really? Why don't you go out with someone else? Someone like...me?
Yes, she liked Lincoln too now. Shut up. It was part watching them together and part trying to figure out what they saw in each other. To this day she couldn't for the life of her puzzle out why Lincoln liked grody Lana, but she knew exactly why she liked him: He was kind, gentle, considerate, very cute, and always did whatever you told him to. What more can you ask for in a man?
In other words, he was perfect, and even though he was her brother, Lola didn't care: She was the type of girl who wanted what she wanted and that was it.
Now came the hard part - getting him away from Lana.
And when she said hard, she didn't mean hard as in it would be difficult to do: She was pretty, stylish, and while not as experienced as Lana sexually, more than willing to do whatever he wanted - anything to win the prize. It would be hard because she doubted he'd want to "cheat" on Lana. Humph.
She'd been thinking of ways to lure him away, and was pretty sure she had it: All she had to do was drive him so out of his mind he wouldn't think twice about throwing her to the bed and ravishing her- like a knight and a princess in a dirty fairytale. She saw herself lying back on satin sheets with one leg cocked and Lincoln worshipping her body with his lips, his kisses trailing down her throat and over her shoulder, his hands brushing along her sides, pushing the hem of her dress up her hips and baring her nakedness - she would strip for him and him alone, showing him everything, letting him touch everything, and taste everything.
Ummm, that thought made her feel warm and tingling from the tips of her pink-polished toes to the rigid nipples of her budding breasts. She slowly licked her lips and narrowed her eyes seductively. "Come here, Lincy~" she told her reflection. "I wanna play with you." She winked and giggled. She had this on lock.
"Tomorrow," she said, "Lincoln will be mine."