Disclaimer: Iceman belongs to Marvel, the song melody (originally that of "If I Only Had A Brain" belongs to MGM (I think), but the idea belongs to me! A much abbreviated version appeared in my story "A Somewhat Familiar Fairy Tale", but it kept pestering me until I wrote the rest. Please review!
If I Wasn't Made of Ice
I would sunbathe by the hour
Enjoy a nice hot shower
Hot coffee would suffice
Cuz right now, I'm just freezin' –
There's a really simple reason:
It's because I'm made of ice.
Oh, I know I'd be a charmer
If only I were warmer -
That's a change that would be nice
In my arms, girls would quiver
If I didn't make 'em shiver
If I wasn't made of ice
Look at me, what do you see?
A mutant all-time low
I keep hoping that this is something I'll outgrow
I feel a drip –
Aww shit!
Oh, my angst level is rising
It's really not surprising
It's a common plot device.
But I'd blend in with the masses –
And I'd lose these damned sunglasses -
If I wasn't made of ice!