Broken, raggedy, and torn apart, the colourful fish costume was nothing except for latex on the floor. And, to Totoko, that was all it could possibly be. Costume after costume and song after song and nothing worked out. She had no fans. No one liked the fish idea. Her only supporters were those…stupid and perverted sextuplets. Totoko tried over and over again to revamp her dream, to try to make it in the idol business, but it stung. Oh how it stung her when that stupid, pink haired, cat devil laughed in her face. And now, here her costume was, rags to thrown away and never worn again.
A sextuplet piped up. "T-Totoko…I think you loo-!"
"Don't." Her voice seemed to echo in the room and she could feel all of the sextuplets shiver and freeze. She didn't want compliments that were fake, she didn't want their praise. It was all just because they wanted something less…dream-like. And Totoko wanted none of it.
It echoed in her head, the stage, the cheers, the choreography. Everything she had planned, her ideal, was there vividly in her mind. She wanted to enter that reality, wanted to escape this. She was famous, she was loved, she was….
"Don't tear off my scales, my…heart is full." She covered her eyes with her hands and began trembling. "Love is-Love is an illusion!" She doubled over and practically screamed when her voice cracked. This isn't what she wanted, nowhere near what she wanted. She was famous, she was loved, she was perfect, she was-she was…
"A-All…All people-p-bre-all people breathe th-." Her face was covered with a wetness that was so embarrassing. Totoko Yowai was…she was pathetic. "Who am I even kidding…?" She asked to no one and she had forgotten anyone was in the room. She slowly got up, even if her energy was depleting. She rubbed her eyes, only succeeding in smearing the tears on her face. That was all she was good at, huh? She was just good at succeeding in failing. The thought made another sob tear out of her throat and another and more came until she had to stop herself from doubling over. At this point, she wasn't even crying. She was wailing, screaming, and she was trying to rip out her own throat or perhaps cry out her own heart. Because this, this right here, this failure and cruelty…this was her reality.
"Totoko…." She jumped and then remembered. The Matsuno brothers were there. They had seen her cry. They had seen her weak. They had-
They had just narrowly dodged a latex fish suit that had been thrown at them in rage.
"Get out! Get out right now!" Her voice was like metal cutting into metal. And that scared the brothers. "Get out! Get out! Get out! Get out! I don't want to-" Make up was used as a weapon next, thrown on the other side of the room-it was make up she would never use again anyway. "I DON'T WANT TO SEE YOUR FACES! GET OUT! GET! OUT!" A hairbrush, then a curler, then a mirror, then a comb. She knew she wasn't mad at them directly. She was mad at herself. And that, that was the worst of it.
Her heart hurt. It hurt so much. These disgusting, perverted, unfaithful, jobless APES didn't know that pain. She pivoted on her heel, nearly losing her footing, and proceeded to run into the bathroom.
The brothers recovered from the temporary assault and most of them stayed silent. The two eldest brothers stepped closer to the restroom and just stopped, staring. They exchanged glances, one concerned and the other intense per usual. But they understood what the other meant. And they knew they were waiting for the other to give a signal.
"Karamatsu." The eldest, Osomatsu Matsuno, was the first to speak. Karamatsu grunted in response, lost for words as it stood now. "I want you to take the rest home. Please don't wait for me. I'm…I'm going to stay." Osomatsu didn't know what had come over him—he was usually one of the most immature brothers out of them all-even compared to Jyushimatsu, so he didn't know what was driving him to be a 'man' now. However, it was something important, something that meant a lot to him and his brothers, and he, as the eldest, was taking responsibility. Karamatsu had no objections.
"Understood, big brother. I'll do my part." He nodded to the others who, under any other circumstances, would ignore him and belittle him for 'acting responsible'. However, they all nodded back and made their way out of the room, Choromatsu signaling that they would wait until Karamatsu was done. Karamatsu nodded back to the third brother and then averted his attention to Osomatsu.
"Brother, I have something I feel should be said."
"What?"
"You're acting like your age now. But understand that this, this trial, is not something that we can usually handle. I want to say-."
"Karamatsu, you act like I'm taking a huge test or something."
"Well…treat it like that. You-You do what an eldest brother should do. Take care of Totoko. She has my best regards." He made his way out of the door. "Don't do this just because the magazines say you'd get her in bed. She's a person, Osomatsu." He exited.
He sighed. I know she's a person…you drama king.
Thought, he was right, and Osomatsu had to admit to that. He took a deep breath, straightening his posture, furrowing his brow, eliminating doubt. She was a person. She was a person. She was a person. And that person was possibly crying right about now. And that crying person…she needed Osomatsu.
Osomatsu clenched his fist and, with a strength he never knew he had, he knocked on the door with full assertiveness. Totoko is crying. Totoko is crying. Totoko Yowai is crying. "Totoko! Open up! It's me-It's…It's Osomatsu!" He heard vomiting and he banged harder. "Totoko! Open the door!"
"IT'S NOT LOCKED, IDIOT! STOP BANGING ON MY DOOR!"
Osomatsu froze. Then, his face was red. So, it…wasn't locked at all.
He slowly opened the door to see Totoko getting up from the front of the toilet. She wiped her mouth. "Don't be worried about that, Matsuno. I got sick from…." Osomatsu finished the sentence for her. "Crying." She nodded. "Yes, I was-I was crying." She wiped her eyes once more.
There was an awkward silence.
"Don't do this just because the magazines say you'd get her in bed."
He cringed. Stupid Karamatsu, assuming things.
"Um…Totoko, I-"
"She's a person, Osomatsu."
Rubbing the back of his head, Osomatsu used the only thing he knew he could do right. "It's kinda funny. Someone like you…crying over something like that, ya know?"
Totoko froze up, her face contorted with confusion. She tears still stained her face, red with emotion. "M-Ma-!"
"Not like that! I just mean…someone as…." Just because the magazines say you'll get her in bed. "I can't imagine someone as pretty as you crying over…over that." She's a person. "Your debut concert…it was very cute." His face was red with embarrassment and shame. Honestly, what was he saying?
"Those people who didn't come to your concert were stupid. You! You were totally cute on stage!" At least he was being honest. "And I honestly think that…that maybe being an idol isn't for you, but-!" His face became even redder. They would need a new shade of red with how much his face had flushed. "M-Maybe being a model? Or advertising? After all, your face is! It's perfect for-for television…."
There was another awkward silence as Osomatsu shrank into himself. Totoko's face was like an open book-she was confused no doubt. She didn't even know what Osomatsu was saying, honestly.
Then, she smiled. It was small, barely noticeable, but God was it there. And it was probably the cutest thing that he had witnessed from her. That smile….
"You just spout out words. Anything that sounds nice. But, Mats-Osomatsu…that's sweet. I would have never thought that you'd say something like that." She had relaxed. She was open. She was happy. She was appreciative. She was grateful. And Osomatsu was happy himself, elated even, and his next action was unprecedented, but not rejected.
Arms wrapped around Totoko's torso, pressing her body to Osomatsu's and she jumped, but relaxed. It was warm and comforting. Even if it was one of the Matsunos, who were A-class perverts and skeevy as hell, Totoko was comfortable. She reciprocated the action, drying her tears on Osomatsu's shirt and inhaling his…surprisingly soothing scent. He had expected him to smell like trash, but…he smelled like pine almost. It was calming.
"Totoko, I—," Osomatsu spoke once more, the vibration felt from his chest and Totoko fell into the feeling. "I know that my words probably don't mean much…I don't have a good reputation. But they're honest. And I wanted to tell you for a while. Totoko Yowai…you're beautiful. And anyone who disagrees is stupid." She hummed.
Osomatsu was on fire. His heart was beating like a drum and he was shaking. His words came out like rain from a swollen cloud and he wanted to take it back, but it was too late. Osomatsu Matsuno was at least honest and Totoko was at least receiving the words well. Despite the fact that his face was hot, his palms were sweaty, he was probably sweating through his shit with how nervous he was, and his heartbeat was probably like an engine by now, he still held on to her. Totoko had said his name, Totoko had reciprocated the sudden act of kindness, Totoko was actually listening to and receiving the bullshit he was spouting.
And then, he felt an urge of affection wave over him and he retracted. She's a person. She's a person. The magazines aren't real. He reminded himself of that. And Totoko wasn't upset about the sudden end of their moment.
"I-I-I should go home, Totoko! I-I hope you feel better! My brothers are waiting!" He fiddled his hands, holding them near his hips. He was as red as his jacket around his waist and he was screaming internally. Totoko nodded. "You should go home. Thank you, Osomatsu." She walked past him, seeming unknowing of what Osomatsu felt deep down. That was good. Osomatsu was grateful. He was safe. Totoko opened her bedroom door and waited for him and he made no rush to exit.
"Wait. Osomatsu." He stopped in the doorway and turned to face her. And then, he was steaming practically. Steaming! Because Totoko had, unexpectedly, wrapped her arms around his arm, stood on her tip toes, and kissed his cheek. Totoko had kissed him! Kissed him! She stepped down and laughed nervously, waving it off before bidding him goodbye. They said their usual and Osomatsu left her room, rushing out to the front of her small home.
He caught his breath, hands in his brown hair and tugging. He squealed. "T-T-TOTOKO! DAMN YOU, TOTOKO! DAMN YOU! DAMN YOU! DA-!"
"Ahhh? What's this weird guy doing? Do you need help, sir?" A deep voice called and Osomatsu almost jumped out of his pants. Then, he relaxed. It was just his second brother. "K-Karamatsu? I told you to go home!" Karamatsu waved him off.
"You did, brother, but I wanted to stay and see how long you'd take. I almost lost hope, but—." He looked down. What was he looking at? "You did well." Osomatsu nodded, getting up. He was still looking down. "Come on, Osomatsu. Let's go home. You need to tend to Minimatsu's needs." He walked off, hands in the pockets of his usual leather jacket. Osomatsu was confused. Minimatsu? Who was—oh.
Minimatsu.
Osomatsu rushed after the second eldest.
"K-KARAMATSUUU!"
