Now I know what is meant by the saying don't take things for granted.
Because I took something for granted. Now it was gone.
I can only watch him walk away... The words don't leave me, stay, I miss you run through my head, but I can't say them.
But please. Look at me again.
"Tenth!" I freeze. "Want me to walk you home?"
"S-sure!"
Oh God.
"...How's it going lately?"
"...Okay. You know; the usual." I smile and smile and smile. But it feels so fake.
I can tell he feels uncomfortable too. It's been awhile since we've been together...
"Do you remember? I used to walk with you all the time like this. I followed you like a puppy. Man, this feels so nostalgic." Yes, yes. Of course I remember.
"...But things change, huh."
"...Yeah."
We settle into silence.
Soon we're at my house. My hand pauses on the gate.
"Do-do you want to come in for a bit?" I don't look at him when I say this.
"Ah- sorry, I can't." My shoulders fall. But I sort of expected this reply. "I promised Yamamoto I'd help him out at the restaurant. I don't know how that baseball idiot needs my help, but sure." He laughs quietly.
"...Oh."
"Yeah... Next time though, I will."
The air stretches into silence once more. His voice cuts through it. "Well, see you later..."
"W-wait!"
Don't leave please. Stay with me. I miss talking. I know how I acted... like I didn't want to be associated with you... but it was just... Half the time, I didn't know what to say. Sometimes your passion overwhelmed me. But I miss everything. I-I missed when I was your special person...
...Can't we go back to the past...?
"My mom baked cookies these morning... I'm sure she'd want you to have some. It will only take a second, okay?"
He says nothing, but smiles at me like I'm hopeless.
I know, I know I'm hopeless. I can't even tell him how much he meant to me. I can't even tell him since he's been gone, there's been this void and... God, I know it sounds gay but that's how it feels.
But... it's probably better this way, huh? He and Yamamoto... they fight a lot, sure, but they have more chemistry. When it's me and him, it's awkward a-and, sometimes it's so silent that it's painful...
I stagger into the doorway, and close the door behind me silently. My entrance was quiet but somehow my mom senses I'm back.
"Welcome home, Tsu-kun... Tsu-kun!?"
"Tsuna, crying!"
"Ehhhhhhhhhh... why's Tsuna crying? Did he hurt himself?"
I wipe my face hurriedly. "I-it's nothing...
...I just lost something."
"Will you get it back?"
"...No." I try to smile, even though it comes out more of a grimace. "I... I think that someone else should have it. I... I don't deserve it."
"Did you... work for it?"
My eyes widen.
"Did you work for it, Tsuna?"
"No..." I breathe.
Mama giggles at me. "Well, how did you think you could get it then...?"
My heart beats faster.
Before I know it, I'm running out the door.
"Tenth-"
"Gokudera-kun," I gasp, swallowing the air greedily.
"Will you let me come with you?"
He looks at me gapingly. I probably look desperate, but whatever. I am desperate. "O-of course, Tenth! You don't even need to ask!
You're always welcome. You know that, right?"
"Now I do."
fin.