A challeneg fic from my mentally disturbed friend, she is quite evil.
Disclaimer: Don't own anything...
Just Plain Wrong
It was a perfectly normal Saturday at Hogwarts, the sun was shining, the birds were chirping, and all was at peace. Well this would have been normal for anyone else, but to the people of Hogwarts this was highly unusual because at this time you would normally find the Marauders either pranking someone or causing havoc in some way.
The only reason that the Marauders weren't causing any mayhem was because they were planning to cause it. James Potter and Sirius Black had roped Remus Lupin into helping them plan their latest prank, and Peter Pettigrew being himself always followed whatever the other three were doing.
The Marauders had now been at Hogwarts for seven years and for seven years James had pined over Lily until about two months into their seventh year, Lily had finally realised that James had changed, he was Head boy and she was Head girl, he had stopped hexing people for the fun of it (except for Snape), and wasn't as arrogant as he used to be and so she accepted when he asked her out, again. Well as you can imagine James was through the roof.
They pair had been dating for about four months, and the only people James spent more time with than Lily was with Sirius, Remus and Peter, but Lily didn't mind. In fact she thought it was quite decent of him to do this because it showed just how loyal he was to people, and in turn showing her how loyal he would be to her if they ever went further in their relationship. But back to the Marauders…
"Yes! Moony that's perfect, the little snake deserves it. But when will we do it?" asked Sirius from his place on the floor next to Remus' bed where James and Remus sat comfortably, Peter had fallen asleep on his own bed and hour ago.
"How about tonight?" replied Remus "the sooner the better?"
"Nah I can't, I have Head duties with Lily tonight. I promised her I'd patrol with her" said James.
"Oh yes I'm sure there'll be a lot of patrolling going on tonight" said Sirius, winking suggestively.
"Mate don't ever wink at me like that again, it's disturbing"
"Hey I can wink all I want!" and he winked again, and again, and again…
"Stop winking! It's annoying!"
"Make me!"
"Fine!" said James as he tackled Sirius. Remus just watched, amused at his two best friends' antics.
"Guys I know I'm hot but you don't have to fight over me, I'm sure we can work something out" he said with a grin as they stopped and turned to look at him in disbelief. The two then looked at each other, nodded in a silent agreement and turned back to Remus with equal grins.
Remus' own grin faded and, knowing what was coming, he began to protest "no, no, no, no, n-"
He was cut off as both boys lunged at him, throwing all three off the other side of the bed and proceeding to tackle each other playfully until they were too sore from laughing to go on.
--
Six hours later a knock was heard on the door to the Marauders dorm.
"James?" called Lily from the other side of the door "c'mon open up, we have to go!"
"One minute!" came James' rushed reply.
"I'm coming in!" and she did, noticing that Peter was snoring on his bed and Remus and Sirius, both sans shirt, were asleep in the middle of the dorm, lying side by side.
James on the other hand was frantically running around the room, trying to get ready and struggling to get a shirt over his head at the same time. Lily sighed and walked over to him as he ran into a bed post.
"Here let me get that" she said pulling the shirt over his head.
"Thanks" he replied when the shirt was finally on.
"No problem, let me guess you forgot? But that doesn't explain that" Lily said pointing to Remus and Sirius, but mainly to Sirius as he was now cuddling Remus as if he were a teddy bear.
James laughed at the sight. "Well you see we were tackling each other, and that's how we got to the floor, then we got tried, stopped and talked for a long time and them we sort of, um, fell asleep" he finished lamely.
"You fell asleep?"
"Yep" he replied, and hastily added "but I didn't forget!"
Lily smiled "Ok, ok. But please tell me you weren't part of that mess of people on the floor" James looked around sheepishly.
"'Cos you know, people could come in here and get the wrong impression…" she added with a small smirk. James eyes widened when he realised what she was implying.
"We're not gay!"
She laughed at the panic in his voice, "it's ok, I was only joking"
He smiled, then both of them looked over at Sirius and Remus just as Remus snuggled up to Sirius, and burst out laughing. Luckily the boys in the room were heavy sleepers and didn't even stir at the noise. When they stopped laughing Lily noticed that James had a rather evil grin on his face.
"What?" she eyed him suspiciously.
He didn't answer but instead went rummaging around the wardrobe until he found what he was looking for and showed it to Lily.
"You wouldn't!" she said grinning, faking shock.
The camera flashed and James finally spoke "I now officially have blackmail!"
"C'mon you nutter, we were meant to start ten minutes ago" she said rolling her eyes.
"Alright, I'm coming" then he grabbed his robes out of the closet and headed to the door with Lily. "Oh wait!"
"What now?"
"Badge" said James rummaging around in his mattress. Finally he pulled out a little box, muttered something and it opened. James grabbed the Head Boy badge and pinned it to his robes.
Lily gave him a questioning look and he added "I have to put it in there incase Sirius decides to try something. I learnt that the hard way…"
She chuckled at the thought of what Sirius could do with a Head Boy badge. "I was thinking we could start with the Entrance Hall, its too early for people to be making out in classrooms yet" she said as they walked out of the Gryffindor common room.
"Yeah, save the more hardcore places for later. And speaking of making out in classrooms…" he trailed off suggestively.
Lily looked thoughtful for a moment before grinning, taking James' hand and running into the first empty classroom they could find.
Fifteen minutes later found them exiting the classroom, clothes and hair slightly rumpled.
"Now seriously we have to patrol!" said Lily sternly.
"Fine with me" replied James smiling, there was definitely no arguing with Lily Evans if you wanted to keep your head the way it was.
--
"Lily, its 1 o'clock. Can we go to bed now?" asked James yawning slightly.
"No, we still have to check the dungeons and the library" said Lily, she never gave up until the entire school was searched.
James sighed but obligingly headed down the cold steps to the dungeons. Lily walked over to the first empty classroom and opened the door to see if anyone was there, but they weren't.
It was just as they finished checking the third empty broom closet that they began to hear some noises. They looked at each other, nodded and silently crept in the direction of the noise, as they got closer they noticed that they were heading towards the potions classroom. The noises got louder and they recognised the noises as moans.
They were at the door to the potions classroom now. "Should we go inside?" asked Lily, a little uncertain.
"Let's see who it is first" replied James, slowly reaching for the door handle. He managed to open the door a crack so that they could peer in, what they found shocked them.
For there was Bellatrix Black, pinned against the teacher's desk, by none other than Severus Snape, both sans clothing and moaning extremely loudly now that the door was open. They were moving in a fast pace rhythm, slightly sweating and it looked like both were having trouble trying not to scream.
"Oh my god!" whispered Lily "Snape and Bellatrix?!"
"I know" whispered James looking disgusted "who would want to screw Snivellus?"
"Not the point! We really shouldn't watch…" but unfortunately they were frozen in horror at the sight before them.
James and Lily gagged quite a bit as Bellatrix came, saying "Severus" along with some choice dirty words.
Then, a few seconds later Snape climaxed yelling "LILY!"
James and Lily nearly fainted. They finally came to their senses when Bellatrix got up, slapped Snape and yelled "WHAT DID YOU JUST CALL ME?!"
James began to run into the nearest classroom and Lily followed, they dived into the classroom just as Bellatrix stormed past, buttoning up her blouse and muttering about ungrateful, mudblood lovers.
Not a moment later Snape ran past the classroom, zipping up his pants and calling out "Bella! Bella wait!"
James and Lily sat in the classroom for a while, trying desperately to forget what they had just heard. Finally James broke the silence.
"That was… just plain wrong"
"Tell me about it, at least it wasn't your name he called out as he was having sex with another chick" said Lily shivering at the very thought.
"Now can we go to bed?" asked James hopefully.
"Oh yeah!"
--
James ran into his dorm room and began yelling at his friends to get up.
"J-J-J-James" yawned Remus not bothering to get up. A muffled 'go away' could be heard from his other side.
"I just saw Snape and Bellatrix having sex!" he blurted out, this got their full attention.
"WHAT?!" said Sirius sitting up.
"Wait there's more" continued James grimly "when he, you know, he practically screamed out Lily's name"
"WHAT?!" both boys yelled in unison and then grimaced at the thought.
Then Sirius added "Prongs, that's just plain…"
"Wrong" finished Remus. In all the confusion Remus and Sirius hadn't even realised that their legs were still intertwined.
"Tell me about it…" said James and then smirked at his friends.
"What?" they asked.
"Oh nothing, it's just – um – its there anything you wanna tell me?" he said stifling a laugh.
"What are you talking about?" asked Sirius looking up at James. Remus, on the other hand, understood what James was implying but couldn't move unless Sirius did.
"You sick minded pervert!" and he threw the nearest object he could find at him, which happened to be his own shoe.
By now Sirius understood and both guys pried themselves apart.
"We never speak of this" said Remus.
"Agreed" replied Sirius.
James was grinning like a Cheshire cat I'll use this some other time… he thought fingering the camera in his pocket.
--
By next morning, word had gotten out about what happened with Snape and Bellatrix, no doubt from her blabbermouth 'friends'. By now the Marauders had completely forgotten their prank and needless to say throughout the day many people were heard saying "that is just plain… wrong".
Once again I will state that I did not create this of my own free will, at least not the part with Snape and Bellatrix.
But review anyway please :)