When the inside burns, a smallville fanfic

After what happened in the Talon, Clark was really depressed. He sat in the barn, and held his head.

How Lana looked at him, how she cried. Because of HIM. She probably thinks that he doesn't love her anymore. But right now it doesn't even matter. He has hurt her so badly that the knowing of him loving her until that his soul is pumping every time he hears her name , won't matter.

So stupid. I am so stupid. Clark though.

He must have her. He wanted her for so long, and when he got her he just ruined it all.

And what I did to my parents... Stop! If you'll think of that you WILL crash! Clark though.

After what happened in the Talon, Clark was really depressed. He sat in the barn, and held his head.

So stupid. I am so stupid. Clark though.

THe must have her. He wanted her for so long, and when he got her he just ruined it all.

And what I did to my parents... Stop! If you'll think of that you WILL crash! Clark though.

The

I can't do this anymore. I can't breath.

Clark got up and started walking across the loft nervously.

I must go. I must go. I must see her.

Clark wore clothes quickly, took keys, and ran to Lana's home.

The front of the house was brighten in soft light.

Clark gasped quickly. It wasn't the running that made him gasp. It was the mental effort. A whole mess went wild in him.

At that moment Lana went out of the front door, wrapped in a old blanket. She looked a bit pensive but at the second she saw him her whole expression changed. She looked surprised and in some deep way in her eyes was a sharp pain.

"Clark?״

"I'm out of touch, I'm out of love-"

Lana never saw Clark like that. He looked like he has a huge weight lying on his back and he is about to fall down. Except she never saw Clark Kent crash down. He is always that strong that she didn't though that it was possible for him to get hurt or brake.

"I'll pick you up when you're getting down"

Clark felt like he is puking these words, he has to say it before... Well before it's to late. She is the only one he has right now.

"I'm out of sight, I'm out of mind

I'll do it all for you in time"

Clark felt the tears burn in his eyes. He can't cry now. Not now. He is not done yet.

"And after.. " Clark made it to the breaking point, he couldn't stand it anymore. "And after all these things I'v done" he said in Self-loathing ״I think I love you better now" that's when his voice broke. The tears started rage and the legs were shaking. When Lana heard these words she could barely breath.

He loves me. And he is about to break.

Her heart crashed when she saw him crashing in front of her.

"Clark, I-"

" Don't hold me down!" Clark said urgently, just don't deny me, please..

" I think my braces are breaking and it's more than I can take... Please Lana" Clark begged. He was in such pain that he didn't care that he exposes his most delicate soul's capillaries in front of her.

Lana started cry too. She couldn't see him in such pain. She loves him. He hurt her. But they can discuss this later. Right now he needs can't barely emagine how he feels.

"I love you too Clark, I missed you so much!"

Lana walked to him as he walking to her, just waiting to crash in her arms. "Thank you ,Thank you ,Thank you" Clark cried as he is hugging her. And crashing on her. His legs couldn't bare it.

"It's okay honey" Lana cried, and held him, stroking his wild black hair.

"I'm here now"

"I'm so sorry" he whispered to her hair. His tears soaked in her shirt.

"I don't deserve you" he cried violently.

Lana carried him to the house and put him in her bed. He kept crying, hugging her and don't wanna leave. "It's alright honey,let it all out"

Lana held his head a few more minutes until the sobs stopped and the shaking calmed a bit. But the tears streamed nonstop.

Clark's head was lying on Lana's legs, so she couldn't see his face.

She could feel him trying to pick up his fractures, so she stroked his back and hugged him tightly, holding his hands.

"Why are you forgiving me?" He said in a shaking voice. His eyes were closed and his face were full of tears. He tried to fight her and hit himself.

"Clark! Clark! LISTEN TO ME!"

Lana held his hands so he won't hurt himself.

"Open your eyes! OPEN YOUR EYES CLARK!"

Clark opened his eyes slowly, but his eyes were unfocused.

"Clark look at me"

Clark looked at her in the eyes, and she saw his pain. She saw into his martyr soul. His perfect green eyes that she could drown in them and usually were sparkling like two diamonds, were covered in a fog of sadness, desperation, and depression.

His body was still shaking but he calmed down a bit and stop fighting her.

"I LOVE YOU. It's all gonna be okay Clark. You will get out of this, as you always do. There is no reason why I shouldn't forgive you. You are the most kind, good hearted and strong person I know. Please don't be so tough on yourself" she kissed him on the forehead and stroke his cheek. wiping his tears.

"Oh Lana, if you had known what I've done-" Clark started sinking into himself again.

"I DON'T CARE!" Lana yelled.

"I don't care what have you done, Clark. It doesn't change the fact that I love you, and I will never leave you, If you only let me I'm here for you. Please honey, just calm down. It's all gonna be okay, you'll see. I'm here and I'm not going anywhere whether you want it or not." Lana's eyes started burn again, and her tears fell down as she sees Clark crying in pain and release, he looked like his whole deterrents crouched under the burden of her words. His cry was heart breaking, it looked like shout to help. Lana stroke him and lay near him,hugging him until he fell asleep.