okay this is my very first time posting anything for anyone to read, so please be nice. I have notebooks upon notebooks full of ideas but I'm often to chicken to share. I have some ideas stored from other books some from here. I take no ownership of anything but the way its worded and how it will turn out in the end. This is all I have typed for now but I hope you like it.

Please comment I look foward to reading them.

5 years ago

Ana's POV

"Christian...I'm sorry...but I can't be everything you want me to be, everything you need." I choked out over the phone. My lungs were burning an my throat kept constricting with every heart breaking sob.

"Ana please don't do this, we...we can make it work, I can change..I can't lose you." His voice sounded choppy and labored and it tore deep into my soul.

*MY FIFTY SHADES* I cried but this had to be done. Tonight with the belt and the way he reacted to my pain was just too much. I could never be that person, I could never be the sub he needed.

"No Christian.. Were finished, I never want to see you EVER again" I said sternly before quickly hanging up and dug my sim card out of the backing and shoved it into my wallet. He was probably already trying to track me, to win me back, to safely tuck me inside Escala. I couldn't go back to my apartment, I couldn't go to Ray's or my mother's. My only choice was to get far away from Seattle, far away from Christian Grey and never look back.

The taxi driver dropped me off at little motel 6, I grabbed my only suitcase which held maybe a weeks worth of clothes, some spare cash and my photographs of every evening spent with Christian.

I paid cash the less I used my credit card the better the less likelihood of him finding me. When Dr. Flynn said I could never fill that spot I broke, I had to leave I had to do what's best for Christian, and for myself.

I jolted with a start. "Not that fucking dream again" I hissed at myself and raked my hand through my unruly bed head.

"Mommy...where are you? Theo cried out from his room.

*SHIT* "I'm coming baby boy, just give me a moment." I called back hoping for just a second to regather myself there was no way I could let my son see me like this.

Its been 5 years since I last spoke to the man known as Christian Grey or any of the Grey's for that matter. It wasn't until a month later I found out I was pregnant with his child, I half tempted to call and them him but my self conscious won that battle so I kept it a secret. It was difficult managing being pregnant alone without any insurance to go to monthly doctor visits because I couldn't afford it on my waitressing job while I waited back to hear from various Publisher's on my Resumes which weren't that detailed I was fresh out of college with no clients trying to make it in the big apple. It was by far a tough pregnancy. the constant pain, the bed rest and being called "high risk" is enough to scare anyone.

It want until I was pretty well into my second trimester that I got the call I had been waiting for Mason's Publishing was willing to take a chance on me. I had half expected to see an older man sitting behind the desk but was shocked but sorta relived when i first saw Maria. She was quick to offer me the job and was even there for me when i called her sobbing and in pain when i had to go in for an Emergency C-section. Theodore was not getting enough air and it had to be done to save his life. i glanced over at my bedstand table, my tear stained cheeks when they finally laid my little boy in my arms made it all worth while no matter the pain, or stretch marks or scars.

I quickly threw my hair up into a messy bun an hurried my way into his room where he made a failed attempt at dressing himself. His pants were on backwards, his socks were on his hands and his shirt was the one he wore yesterday.

"Look mommy, all by myself." he said giddy as he held out his little arms. He looked mighty pleased with himself an i couldn't deny him that he had tried.

The familar ringing of my work cell phone brought me out of my daze and i groaned heavily, Why was Maria dragging me off on some business trip to Saint Tropez when i could stay happily right here with my son and watch his favorite cartoons.

"Mahria." he giggled as i hurried ran for the phone knowing she would just end up at my apartment disgusted because I wasn't even packed yet.

"Mrs. David will be there in 20 minutes to pick up Theo, she already has Briana my car will be for you in 30 minutes and I will meet you at the airport." She said quickly before hanging up no hello or goodbye, but that's the way she was until she had a few drinks in her. I guess four divorces could do that to a girl.

"Mommy are you okay?" he asked peeking his head out of his room.

"Of course Hunny just trying to think of how much fun your gonna have with Bri this week." i said happily trying to lift his spirits.

I hurried my dance threw the kitchen in our normal breakfast routine of reheated baked oatmeal and sliced apples. I glaced down at my toned stomach not an inch of fat, it was easy losing my pregnancy weight I even weighted less then before. My body was fit and a fighting machine, the self defence classes were really paying off, they kept me active and they kept us safe.