"Kagome?" my mother's voice sounds through a crack in my door. I stir, and my eyes puffy from crying last night. "Breakfast is on the table."
I pull the covers off of myself and stretch. "I'll be right there."
My mother closes the door with a click. I fix my covers and catch the sight of myself in my mirror. I look bone-tired and ragged. It isn't the fact that my hair was in need of shampoo, or even that my eyes were blotchy and red. I comb through my hair and take a quick shower before putting on my school uniform. I go downstairs and sit at the breakfast table. Sõta and Gramps have idle conversation that I can't exactly here. I feel somewhat detached from this era, as if I was supposed to be back there…
No.
My sole purpose in the feudal era was to help InuYasha and the others find the pieces of the sacred jewel shard that I'd shattered. I had no tie to Naraku, and he'd done me no harm directly. There was nothing that connected me to the feudal era other than generations of chance. Tears well up in my eyes, and I push myself away from the table and grab my backpack.
Throughout the school day, I manage to conceal my inner coldness. My laugh sounds broken to my own ears, but to my friends, it sounds normal. Hojo presents me with healthy gifts that I accept with gratitude. At the guidance office, I pick up the few make-up projects that I'll have to do in order to pass the course.
On my walk home, I find Sõta trying to prevent me from entering the house.
"Sõta, can you just…" I try and say, but the boy persists.
"Sis, you really shouldn't, I mean…Gramps is a little…uh…"
"Look I'll deal with him," I say, "Just...get out of my way."
"Kagome, just-,"
"Move," I say my voice cold. I push past my brother and enter the house to see InuYasha sitting at the table chugging a cup of juice.
I stop dead in my tracks, staring at the silver haired half-demon.
"Hey Kagome," he says, "Are you ready to come back?"
I stare at him, stupefied. How could he be such an idiot?
During our last battle in feudal Japan, when Kikyo and I had been trapped by that demon, InuYasha had leapt to Kikyo's side while I was thrust into the demon's bone filled nest. If Koga hadn't been there to save me, I would've been eaten by the demon's children in the nest. No matter what InuYasha could say about needing me to find the jewel shards, he had ultimately chosen Kikyo, which definitely hurt me. Was he so blind to my pain?
"Why did you leave?" he asks, popping a plate of food my mom left out for me.
"Get out," I say numbly.
He raises an eyebrow, "Huh?"
"I said get out," I say menacingly. "All I've ever been to you is a tool, and I'm done being used so get out! Return to your own time, with your own battles. I have my own stuff to deal with in the present day, and it's my future that's at stake, not yours. You have Sango, Miroku, Shippo and Kikyo who can help you. They were born in those ages, they were born to fight. I was born for tests and exams."
"You think it was by chance that you came to my world?" he asks.
"No," I say, "I don't know. But you see; it's your world, not mine. Maybe it should stay that way."
"So you're not coming back?" he asks. "Ever?"
"Why should I?"
"Look Kagome, I don't know what's going on with you, but you'd better tell me what's gotten into you."
I clench my fists. "Nothing has gotten into me. I'm no one's second choice, InuYasha! Go find Kikyo; she'll be of more use. At least she has a reason for trying to defeat Naraku. I have no reason to defeat him other than the fact that he's a despicable, evil, demon who deserves to die. You and the others have more drive than I do."
"So why have you been with us all this time?!" InuYasha asks, his voice rising. "Why would you have even come along if you were going to turn around and say all this? What kept you here all this time?"
"You did!" I scream. I push at him. "You, and Sango, Miroku, and Shippo! Koga and the wolf tribe, Kaede, Myoga Jinenji, and Hosenki. All of our friends are what kept me there. I love them all. With everything I have, I love them. But they can't love me! Eventually, I have to return to my own time. I will not stand in the way of their lives any longer. I won't do it! I love you too much to bind you to my memory!"
I gasp, realizing what I'd said. I steal a glance at InuYasha, who shows no emotion but a cold look. "I…I see. But…but you must know that I…love…Kikyo."
My heart, cold, rattles in my chest. "I know that. Of course I know that."
"Then it wouldn't hurt me if you left."
I look up at him and tears well up in my eyes.
It wouldn't hurt me if you left.
I couldn't believe it. Through everything we'd been through together, it meant nothing to him. I meant nothing to him. There was an undeniable pain in my chest. I was in love with InuYasha.
And he didn't love me back.