The village of Iwa had always been different from other towns; Deidara knew that. He knew that because of Iwa's lack of communication with other towns, some of the things that the people residing in his hometown had been learned to believe in and accept was long forgotten in other towns. The town surrounded by gigantic rocks was by no mean ignorant; that was not it. They were just a people of the old ways.
Deidara had grown up in a peaceful environment. He had a mother, a father, a brother, friends; everything a young boy needed to have his life counted as "normal". The children of Iwa spent a lot of time with adults, and Deidara was no exception. Therefore, nearly all children grew up to believe that what their parents said were true.
"This is right, that is wrong, never do this, do that instead..."
Even now, that he was what you'd call an adult and had joined the Akatsuki, those were his beliefs.
Deidara sighed. What you learn as a kid, sticks to your brain forever no matter how much you want to ignore it.
He sat up in the bed and swung his legs over the side, like he was about to get up. The moon cast a white light through the window that blend in with the orange light coming from a lamp on the other side of the room. In the bed left of Deidara sat Sasori, his red-haired, puppet-making partner-in-crime. As he was a puppet himself, he did not need sleep, and was free to do whatever he wanted all through the night. And what he wanted to do was mainly working on his puppets.
The blond-haired Akatsuki's heart made a quick, satisfied jump at the sight of the redhead. Not only was he strong-willed, a great fighter and a respectable person, but also beautiful, kind and attractive. Well, most people might have disagreed to the latter, but in Deidara's eyes, the puppet-master was... Unique. In a very good way.
However, he was also forbidden.
See, Deidara had been taught to hate. To avoid everything unnatural. To detest everyone who was different. He did just that. He detested Itachi, the man who killed his own family. He detested Kisame, the crossing between a shark and a man. Hidan, the immortal, Kakuzu, who hardly was human anymore, Zetsu, the cannibal with two personalities... He detested them all. But Akasuna no Sasori, the man who turned himself into a puppet? No, Deidara couldn't hate him.
Deidara loved him, and that was why he hated himself. Because one of the things he had been learned to hate more than everything else, was homosexuals. Every time Deidara looked at Sasori, he knew that he was one himself.
The puppet Sasori was working on gave a slight creaking sound as it was let down and it slid to the bed. The blond did nothing to avoid the brown eyes that locked with his. A warm smile spread on the puppet master's face. Deidara let out a slow breath. He loved that smile.
"Can't sleep, Deidara?" He asked with that voice of a best friend. A lover's voice, Deidara couldn't help but think.
"No, un," he answered bluntly, tearing his eyes away from Sasori's. He knew that he was blushing. For the hundredth time over the last two days, he told himself that it was either hormones or the affect of not having someone to show affection to for over a year. However, he knew he was wrong.
Sasori just smiled. Deidara had already told him about the feelings and the conflicts with his beliefs. The redhead had then admitted that he too had developed some kind of romantic interest towards Deidara, making the blonde's problems slightly bigger than they already were. At least, the bomber was glad that Sasori understood his feelings.
He both wanted to kiss and kill his partner.
Deidara swung his feet up into the bed again, now in a half-sitting position with his back resting against the cold headboard. The bed left of him gave a slow creaking noise, and not soon later, he felt the mattress in his own bed sink down just beside him.
"Want me to help you?" Sasori said as he crawled over. He was wearing his Akatsuki cloak over a pair of black suna-style pants, while the blond only had his black t-shirt and simple pants. Deidara's heart skipped a beat. He had a good guess at what the redhead wanted to do. And yes. Yes, he wanted to, more than anything. It wouldn't be that hard. All it took was one small word...
"No, I'm fine."
...Or maybe it was that hard.
The blond looked away, disappointed in himself. Sasori seemed to notice that.
"You're torturing yourself much more than you need to." Deidara didn't look as his partner sat down beside him. He could feel the chocolate brown eyes burning on his skin.
Deidara didn't answer. He wanted to say that yes, he was. That he needn't deny his feelings the way he did. He didn't want do, but it was wrong. It was so wrong! Guys were created to like girls, weren't they?
Guys liking other guys were disgusting and wrong, right?
Yes, a voice in Deidara's head called. It's sick! It's wrong! Think about what homosexuals do! It's unnatural, it's wrong. It's wrong!
Deidara buried his head in his hands. Yes, it was wrong; it had to be! They were right, they all were right. So, so wrong. So sick. So disgusting. The blond dug his nails into his skull in frustration.
The sound of popping buttons got Deidara's attention. He turned his head just in time to watch Sasori slide his cloak off. There it was. That way he moved his shoulders. The slight, natural arch in his back, showing how fine just wood could be. How he rolled his hips, tempting. It was so sexy. In a very sick way. Deidara caught himself admiring the beautiful art of his master's body.
He was a sick, sick person, falling in love with a male. A male puppet. If his family knew, he would have been killed. Or forced to kill himself.
Sasori just smiled. The blond couldn't help imagining him say: "Like what you see?" He watched as his partner slowly crept closer. And closer. It didn't even take five seconds before the redhead sat beside him, too close for Deidara to feel safe.
"Forget what they've said, okay?" Sasori reached behind Deidara's back, who was still partly pressed to the headboard, grabbing his wrist from behind. He did the same with the other wrist. The blonde's heart raced in his chest. The puppet managed to get one of his legs behind Deidara, shoving the blond in front of him with it so he was sitting in between his legs. The blond gave a weak attempt to pull one of his hands free.
"Let me go, Sasori," he said with his cold, commanding voice.
However, Sasori didn't let go.
"Don't do that to yourself, okay?" Sasori moved one of Deidara's hands to his face, brushing his lips gently against it. "Enjoy the moment."
The puppet's words managed to calm Deidara down slightly. He let his hand drop, and relaxed his whole body.
"Fine, un."
And he did allow himself to sit like that for a while. Sasori's hands massaged his shoulders and his back, his lips whispered sweet nothings into his ear, and his breath pulsed against his chin... Deidara wanted that. He wanted to be able not to think about how wrong it was, he wanted to be able to turn around and brush his cheek to Sasori's, he wanted to...
He just wanted to be able to love the one he loved. The male he loved. The male puppet he loved.
Sasori was breaking those rules Deidara had set for himself, and surprisingly, Deidara didn't mind, at least for that one night.
"I like you."
Those words caught the blonde's attention.
"No. I think I love you, Deidara."
A tear fell from the bomber's eye. His heart beat faster and his stomach twisted and turned.
Three words. Three simple words that was used every day managed to do that to him.
A simple "I" and a simpler "you".
And of course, the "LOVE" that connected them.
He loved Sasori too. At least he thought so, even though he didn't want to.
"And I know you like me too, at least quite a bit."
Deidara turned his head at that, struggling for the right words to say. It was hard to say anything at all, considering how close the two's lips were.
"I..." he begun. "I'm not... Gay, un." He stopped, he didn't need to say anymore.
The blond looked down at the lips. Perfect, soft lips. They'd probably feel wonderful on his.
Never mind "probably". They did.
"Mm..." Deidara mumbled weakly. Sasori just kept pressing their lips together, receiving no protest from Deidara as he did so. The blond was in no position to do anything but kissing back. He felt his lower lip being pulled into the other's mouth and massaged slightly. He didn't know what to do, so, even though he did want the kiss to last longer, he opened his mouth slightly to pull away. Instead of feeling the cold air on his lips, he felt a warm, soft tongue touch the more sensitive side of his lips before entering his mouth. He followed Sasori's example, and soon, both tongues was trapped in a passionate dance.
This is love, Deidara thought. This can't be anything else than love.
The blond moved his hand to the back of Sasori's head, running his fingers through the red hair. For a moment, it felt like the redhead was smiling. Deidara wanted to smile too. However, he couldn't.
"Nnn..." Deidara frowned as he slowly pulled away from the kiss. He was regretting it immediately. His lips felt cold now, and his heart clenched.
"Sasori... I'm not homosexual, un. I can't be. It's sick! It's... Wrong!" The blond was looking directly into his partner's eyes. The puppet master showed no emotion when he said that, as always. However, after a few seconds, a warm smile spread across the pale face.
"You don't have to be homosexual." Sasori said, simply. He gave the blond a sweet kiss.
"Just be Sasophile."
