Notes: I decided that it's time I wrote a QAF story! Unfortunately for you,
my beloved reading public, it's a depressing one! I apologise profusely for
my need to depress! I promise my next one will be happy (you know it won't
be right?) Oh and one more thing, did I mention I have a terribly naff
title for this? (How much did I want to say 'I've got a baby' then?)
The lyrics aren't mine (surprisingly) they belong to Westlife.
Timeline: It's alternate universe, so it doesn't really fit in anywhere
Queen of my heart
"He's going you know" Yes Romey. I do know.
"I hope you understand he won't be around anymore" I know Hazel, I know he won't.
"You're going to miss him aren't you"? Yes Chicken, I will.
"I'm sorry, it's the opportunity of a lifetime, you understand don't you? It's not like we'll never see each other again, I'll visit. You can e-mail, I'll write, I just have to take this chance". Fuck off Vincent Tyler.
~*~
Ever since Vince had told him the terrible news, Stuart had tried to stay away from his best friend. No-one could understand that every time Stuart would look at Vince, look into those beautiful blue eyes, he would be reminded of the fact that Vince was leaving him. After sixteen years of speaking to each other practically every day, Vince was leaving him, leaving everyone, everything, leaving Manchester. A part of Stuart was happy for his friend. After all, Vince was the nicest guy he knew and he'd never really be given much chance in life, so it was good for him to finally have something. It was all down to that bastard Cameron. Stuart remembered Cameron being there when Vince had told him about leaving. He distinctly recognised the smug look on the Australian's features. Stuart knew that Cameron had made it his mission to tear Vince away from him. That fucking bastard had won. Stuart resented that deeply. America though. Cameron just couldn't do it by halves. He had to take Vince straight out of the country rather than somewhere else in England. No, he had to take Vince thousands of miles away. Vince was adamant that he would stay in contact with Stuart but Stuart knew deep down that Cameron would make sure Vince was always too busy for things like that. Stuart's phone trilled, bringing him out of his gloomy reverie. Stuart glanced at the display. It was Vince. Stuart sighed and grabbed the phone. Vince would only keep trying if he didn't answer it now. "Hello" He said as coldly as he could manage.
"Stuart, we need to talk" Vince stated. Stuart could hear music in the background. Vince was obviously in a bar, probably with that fucker of a boyfriend. "Maybe later yeah"? Stuart suggested, trying his best to be flippant and not let his hurt show in his voice. "Now Stuart, please. Meet me by the wall in ten minutes"? Vince pleaded. There was something in Vince's voice that told Stuart not to ignore his friend's pleas. "Ok, I'll be there" Stuart replied. "You know which wall right"?
"The one by the canal yeah" Stuart answered, frowning. They always met by that wall, why would Vince need to check? "I meant our wall" Vince said softly. Stuart's eyes widened in realisation, he allowed a small smile to creep onto his features. "Be there in ten"
~*~
Stuart smiled to himself as he ran his hand along the aged bricks, weathered by years and years of British rain. It had been some time since his flesh had last felt these particular stones. He was even about to lean closer to inhale their distinctive smell before a muffled grunting noise disturbed him. Looking above his head, Stuart could make out a figure in the darkness. It seemed that the figure was having some trouble traversing the top of the wall. Stuart grinned; he'd know that struggling figure anywhere. A couple of seconds later, Vince crashed to the ground in front of him. Stuart fought the urge to laugh. "Never did get the hang of that did you"? He asked, teasingly as Vince stood up and brushed his clothes down. "Fuck off" Vince said affectionately. He looked at Stuart, smiling gently. "Suppose we look a bit dodgy hanging around school grounds at our age"
"You wanted to come here" Stuart reminded him. He grinned and sparked up a cigarette, mimicking times past. He offered one to Vince, who declined. "Can't go back stinking of smoke" He explained.
"Cameron wouldn't like it"? Stuart asked with a slight hint of resentment. Vince merely nodded. He leant against the wall next to Stuart and sighed deeply. "I know you've been avoiding me" He remarked. Stuart took a long, deep drag before replying. "Whatever gave you that idea"? He asked, innocently.
"Pretending you're busy. I know you're not Stuart, you get Sandra to do all of your work"
"Fuck off" Stuart replied, this time with a hint of anger.
"That's what I am doing" Vince snapped back, picking up on his best friend's anger. "Yeah, I know" Stuart said sadly, flicking ash onto the ground. Vince watched him carefully. "It's not the end of the world Stuart" Vince replied gently.
"My world's so fucking huge" Stuart muttered ironically. He took another drag and then flicked the ash, if he concentrated on the cigarette, he wouldn't let his emotions get the better of him. "Yeah, you won't even notice after a couple of months" Vince joked.
"You're my world" Stuart admitted, staring at the ground. He kicked a sod of grass with his shoe. "You always have been and you always will be"
"Stuart." Vince started.
"He wanted to take you away from me Vince and he's doing it. You can't see it but once you get out there with him he'll make sure you're so busy that eventually you'll just forget about Manchester and me" Stuart explained sadly.
"It'd take a hell of a lot more than Cameron and America for me to forget you Stuart" Vince said, staring at his friend. Stuart's eyes seemed to be fixed on the ground. Vince moved so that he now stood opposite Stuart, but still Stuart wouldn't look up. Vince grabbed his friend's chin, forcing the Irishman to look at him. "Say it Stuart" He demanded. "If you can say it, I'll stay, I'll tell Cameron it's all off, please, say it" Stuart stared into Vince's expressive eyes which now reflected the desire and desperation for Stuart to say the words he'd been waiting to hear for so long. Stuart knew that he wanted to say them back but something was stopping him. Something was preventing him from physically forming the words. Stuart knew what it was; he recognised it immediately, fear. "Say it" Vince urged; his hands now on Stuart's shoulders. Stuart simply looked away from his friend. He heard Vince sigh deeply then feel him move away. Stuart wanted to say something, something that would make Vince feel better, dammit, he wanted to say those words but he couldn't, he just couldn't.
He'd let Vince walk away that night. No more words had been exchanged between them and Stuart hadn't been there at the airport to say goodbye. So Vince had gone; he'd got on the plane with Cameron and they'd gone to start a new life; a new life in America without Stuart Alan Jones.
Two weeks after Vince's departure, Stuart was sitting in his flat feeling sorry for himself. He was on his sofa, surrounded by old photographs of himself and Vince through the years. All he did with his time was stare at these aged images; wishing that things could have been different, wishing that he'd had the courage to say the words Vince had wanted to hear that night. There was a knock at the door. Stuart immediately dispelled any hope that it would be Vince behind that door. He opened it slowly and found the postman standing there holding a package. "You need to sign for this" The postman explained. He handed Stuart the clipboard and waited patiently as Stuart signed. He then handed over the package and excused himself. As he went back inside his flat, Stuart stared at the package in his hands. His eyes examined the carefully written address label. Stuart knew that handwriting. It belonged to Vince. Trembling hands hastily un-wrapped the package, a small, bubble-wrapped object fell out. There was nothing else within the large envelope, no note to explain but Stuart didn't care, it was something. He tore away the bubble-wrap and revealed a cassette. Stuart frowned at the object, he didn't even know if he possessed a tape player. He'd upgraded to CDs ages ago. Even stranger, the tape had no marking, suggesting that it was perhaps one Vince had made.
A quick search of the flat and Stuart had found a cassette walkman that he'd bought and never used. Thankfully, it had batteries in it. Stuart slipped the tape in, lay down on the sofa and listened carefully. He closed his eyes as the tape began. To his surprise it was Vince singing. He'd never really heard Vince sing before, only once in the shower. Nevertheless, he listened to his friend as though it were the most beautiful singer in the world. To Stuart, it was.
So here we stand, in our secret place With a sound of the crowd, so far away And you take my hand, and it feels like home We both understand, it's where we belong
Memories of the last night he'd shared with Vince flooded Stuart's head. Knowing that no-one was around, Stuart began to let the tears flow freely.
So how do I say? Do I say goodbye? We both have our dreams, we both want to fly So let's take tonight, to carry us through The lonely times
Stuart was crying openly. All he could think about was the mistakes he'd made with Vince, the times when he should've done more, the times when he should've told Vince what he'd meant to him.
I'll always look back, as I walk away This memory will last, for eternity And all of our tears, will be lost in the rain When I've found my way back, to your arms again But until that day, you know you are The queen of my heart
Stuart's tears began to slow, the more he listened. This song wasn't sad; it was Vince trying to give him a message. Stuart wiped his eyes and continued to listen to his friend.
So let's take tonight and never let go While dancing we'll kiss, like there's no tomorrow As the stars sparkle down, like a diamond ring I'll treasure this moment, 'til we meet again
Stuart began to smile; he understood what was going on now. Vince was telling him something that would never have the full impact in a letter. Vince was talking to him and Stuart, Stuart was listening.
But no matter how far; or where you may be I just close my eyes, and you're in my dreams And there you will be, until we meet
I'll look back, as I walk away This memory will last, for eternity And all of our tears will be lost in the rain When I find my way back, to your arms again But until that day, you know you are The queen of my heart
The queen of my heart
The song finished and Stuart was left smiling. Vince had made him a promise; he'd spoken from the heart, to the heart. As Stuart rewound the tape to listen again, he was happy in the knowledge that one day in the future, he'd have his Vince.
THE END
Timeline: It's alternate universe, so it doesn't really fit in anywhere
Queen of my heart
"He's going you know" Yes Romey. I do know.
"I hope you understand he won't be around anymore" I know Hazel, I know he won't.
"You're going to miss him aren't you"? Yes Chicken, I will.
"I'm sorry, it's the opportunity of a lifetime, you understand don't you? It's not like we'll never see each other again, I'll visit. You can e-mail, I'll write, I just have to take this chance". Fuck off Vincent Tyler.
~*~
Ever since Vince had told him the terrible news, Stuart had tried to stay away from his best friend. No-one could understand that every time Stuart would look at Vince, look into those beautiful blue eyes, he would be reminded of the fact that Vince was leaving him. After sixteen years of speaking to each other practically every day, Vince was leaving him, leaving everyone, everything, leaving Manchester. A part of Stuart was happy for his friend. After all, Vince was the nicest guy he knew and he'd never really be given much chance in life, so it was good for him to finally have something. It was all down to that bastard Cameron. Stuart remembered Cameron being there when Vince had told him about leaving. He distinctly recognised the smug look on the Australian's features. Stuart knew that Cameron had made it his mission to tear Vince away from him. That fucking bastard had won. Stuart resented that deeply. America though. Cameron just couldn't do it by halves. He had to take Vince straight out of the country rather than somewhere else in England. No, he had to take Vince thousands of miles away. Vince was adamant that he would stay in contact with Stuart but Stuart knew deep down that Cameron would make sure Vince was always too busy for things like that. Stuart's phone trilled, bringing him out of his gloomy reverie. Stuart glanced at the display. It was Vince. Stuart sighed and grabbed the phone. Vince would only keep trying if he didn't answer it now. "Hello" He said as coldly as he could manage.
"Stuart, we need to talk" Vince stated. Stuart could hear music in the background. Vince was obviously in a bar, probably with that fucker of a boyfriend. "Maybe later yeah"? Stuart suggested, trying his best to be flippant and not let his hurt show in his voice. "Now Stuart, please. Meet me by the wall in ten minutes"? Vince pleaded. There was something in Vince's voice that told Stuart not to ignore his friend's pleas. "Ok, I'll be there" Stuart replied. "You know which wall right"?
"The one by the canal yeah" Stuart answered, frowning. They always met by that wall, why would Vince need to check? "I meant our wall" Vince said softly. Stuart's eyes widened in realisation, he allowed a small smile to creep onto his features. "Be there in ten"
~*~
Stuart smiled to himself as he ran his hand along the aged bricks, weathered by years and years of British rain. It had been some time since his flesh had last felt these particular stones. He was even about to lean closer to inhale their distinctive smell before a muffled grunting noise disturbed him. Looking above his head, Stuart could make out a figure in the darkness. It seemed that the figure was having some trouble traversing the top of the wall. Stuart grinned; he'd know that struggling figure anywhere. A couple of seconds later, Vince crashed to the ground in front of him. Stuart fought the urge to laugh. "Never did get the hang of that did you"? He asked, teasingly as Vince stood up and brushed his clothes down. "Fuck off" Vince said affectionately. He looked at Stuart, smiling gently. "Suppose we look a bit dodgy hanging around school grounds at our age"
"You wanted to come here" Stuart reminded him. He grinned and sparked up a cigarette, mimicking times past. He offered one to Vince, who declined. "Can't go back stinking of smoke" He explained.
"Cameron wouldn't like it"? Stuart asked with a slight hint of resentment. Vince merely nodded. He leant against the wall next to Stuart and sighed deeply. "I know you've been avoiding me" He remarked. Stuart took a long, deep drag before replying. "Whatever gave you that idea"? He asked, innocently.
"Pretending you're busy. I know you're not Stuart, you get Sandra to do all of your work"
"Fuck off" Stuart replied, this time with a hint of anger.
"That's what I am doing" Vince snapped back, picking up on his best friend's anger. "Yeah, I know" Stuart said sadly, flicking ash onto the ground. Vince watched him carefully. "It's not the end of the world Stuart" Vince replied gently.
"My world's so fucking huge" Stuart muttered ironically. He took another drag and then flicked the ash, if he concentrated on the cigarette, he wouldn't let his emotions get the better of him. "Yeah, you won't even notice after a couple of months" Vince joked.
"You're my world" Stuart admitted, staring at the ground. He kicked a sod of grass with his shoe. "You always have been and you always will be"
"Stuart." Vince started.
"He wanted to take you away from me Vince and he's doing it. You can't see it but once you get out there with him he'll make sure you're so busy that eventually you'll just forget about Manchester and me" Stuart explained sadly.
"It'd take a hell of a lot more than Cameron and America for me to forget you Stuart" Vince said, staring at his friend. Stuart's eyes seemed to be fixed on the ground. Vince moved so that he now stood opposite Stuart, but still Stuart wouldn't look up. Vince grabbed his friend's chin, forcing the Irishman to look at him. "Say it Stuart" He demanded. "If you can say it, I'll stay, I'll tell Cameron it's all off, please, say it" Stuart stared into Vince's expressive eyes which now reflected the desire and desperation for Stuart to say the words he'd been waiting to hear for so long. Stuart knew that he wanted to say them back but something was stopping him. Something was preventing him from physically forming the words. Stuart knew what it was; he recognised it immediately, fear. "Say it" Vince urged; his hands now on Stuart's shoulders. Stuart simply looked away from his friend. He heard Vince sigh deeply then feel him move away. Stuart wanted to say something, something that would make Vince feel better, dammit, he wanted to say those words but he couldn't, he just couldn't.
He'd let Vince walk away that night. No more words had been exchanged between them and Stuart hadn't been there at the airport to say goodbye. So Vince had gone; he'd got on the plane with Cameron and they'd gone to start a new life; a new life in America without Stuart Alan Jones.
Two weeks after Vince's departure, Stuart was sitting in his flat feeling sorry for himself. He was on his sofa, surrounded by old photographs of himself and Vince through the years. All he did with his time was stare at these aged images; wishing that things could have been different, wishing that he'd had the courage to say the words Vince had wanted to hear that night. There was a knock at the door. Stuart immediately dispelled any hope that it would be Vince behind that door. He opened it slowly and found the postman standing there holding a package. "You need to sign for this" The postman explained. He handed Stuart the clipboard and waited patiently as Stuart signed. He then handed over the package and excused himself. As he went back inside his flat, Stuart stared at the package in his hands. His eyes examined the carefully written address label. Stuart knew that handwriting. It belonged to Vince. Trembling hands hastily un-wrapped the package, a small, bubble-wrapped object fell out. There was nothing else within the large envelope, no note to explain but Stuart didn't care, it was something. He tore away the bubble-wrap and revealed a cassette. Stuart frowned at the object, he didn't even know if he possessed a tape player. He'd upgraded to CDs ages ago. Even stranger, the tape had no marking, suggesting that it was perhaps one Vince had made.
A quick search of the flat and Stuart had found a cassette walkman that he'd bought and never used. Thankfully, it had batteries in it. Stuart slipped the tape in, lay down on the sofa and listened carefully. He closed his eyes as the tape began. To his surprise it was Vince singing. He'd never really heard Vince sing before, only once in the shower. Nevertheless, he listened to his friend as though it were the most beautiful singer in the world. To Stuart, it was.
So here we stand, in our secret place With a sound of the crowd, so far away And you take my hand, and it feels like home We both understand, it's where we belong
Memories of the last night he'd shared with Vince flooded Stuart's head. Knowing that no-one was around, Stuart began to let the tears flow freely.
So how do I say? Do I say goodbye? We both have our dreams, we both want to fly So let's take tonight, to carry us through The lonely times
Stuart was crying openly. All he could think about was the mistakes he'd made with Vince, the times when he should've done more, the times when he should've told Vince what he'd meant to him.
I'll always look back, as I walk away This memory will last, for eternity And all of our tears, will be lost in the rain When I've found my way back, to your arms again But until that day, you know you are The queen of my heart
Stuart's tears began to slow, the more he listened. This song wasn't sad; it was Vince trying to give him a message. Stuart wiped his eyes and continued to listen to his friend.
So let's take tonight and never let go While dancing we'll kiss, like there's no tomorrow As the stars sparkle down, like a diamond ring I'll treasure this moment, 'til we meet again
Stuart began to smile; he understood what was going on now. Vince was telling him something that would never have the full impact in a letter. Vince was talking to him and Stuart, Stuart was listening.
But no matter how far; or where you may be I just close my eyes, and you're in my dreams And there you will be, until we meet
I'll look back, as I walk away This memory will last, for eternity And all of our tears will be lost in the rain When I find my way back, to your arms again But until that day, you know you are The queen of my heart
The queen of my heart
The song finished and Stuart was left smiling. Vince had made him a promise; he'd spoken from the heart, to the heart. As Stuart rewound the tape to listen again, he was happy in the knowledge that one day in the future, he'd have his Vince.
THE END