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One Night
Two slight knocks break the silence of the office. She raises her head and looks at him standing there in her doorway.
"I just want to wish you good night," he says and doesn't move an inch.
He avoids looking at her, he doesn't step in her office to give them a chance to talk. He obviously wants to keep the distance between them and she has no other choice but to agree.
"Good night," she replies with a small nod and he turns around right after she finishes the short sentence.
He walks away just like that and it just doesn't feel right. Not after the many years they've spent together leading this firm, the days and nights working on hundreds of different cases, the many glasses of drinks they have shared sitting on each other's couches.
Maybe they made a mistake last week. Maybe that night never should have happened. Maybe their relationship will never be the same anymore.
She still cannot feel regret, shame or guilt. It was something that had been bound to happen one day and they both knew that too well. Two attractive people sharing a life with genuine feelings for each other. That's who they are and they finally acknowledged this fact a week ago and decided not to listen to the voices in their heads saying no, when they were sure they were doing something that could only be right.
They were strangers in that town, in that hotel, in that bar. Strangers to others, but not to each other. The client was important to the firm, so they basically had no choice, but to try and make the most of that night far away from home. They wanted to hit the bar, have dinner, talk, share a few drinks. Nothing they hadn't done before, but somehow the special circumstances, the fact that no one knew them there made everything so different.
It was almost normal that she had no one in her life, but it rarely happened to him. It has always been easy for him to find a new girlfriend, even after painful break-ups, like the one he had been through not too long before the said night. Not that he'd complained to her at all, but she's learnt to know him quite well.
Both of them just wanted to have some fun, kill the night, have a few laughs together, neither of them had seen that coming. And even though they could have stopped when they realized what was about to happen, they chose to ignore the signs.
She noticed how his eyes kept on finding back to the neckline of her dress, she couldn't miss those undressing looks he sent in her direction, but she did nothing to stop him. In fact she enjoyed being seen by him for the first time. He kept on leaning towards her to whisper things in her ear and the closeness of his lips gave her the naughtiest thoughts. She'd never thought of them as the objects of her desire until that night.
She might have given him signs that he had a chance, but she was careful to place the decision in his hands. He walked her to her room and she opened the door, stepped inside and turned around. She said goodnight and he did the same, but instead of closing the door she decided to wait just a few seconds for him to decide and she didn't have to wait long.
He was the one who closed the door behind him, who took her into his arms and she finally felt his lips on hers for the very first time. It was obvious what was going to follow, none of them thought it would be over after the kiss, they wanted to have it all.
She didn't give herself a chance to think, to listen to the voice in her head, to waste the time saying out things they obviously didn't care about, because their actions were speaking for themselves. For one night she had him, who had always been unreachable for her. She could taste his lips, feel his arms all around her, touch him without any control. She felt desirable, but more importantly she felt free. There were suddenly no obstacles between them, as if the things that usually separated them had all disappeared that night, giving them the chance to show what they felt without considering the consequences.
He probably knows her more than anyone, even though they had never crossed that certain line before that night. She felt safe with him, so it was easy to show her feelings, to guide him towards what she needed and give the same in return.
Even though they acted out of desire and passion on the first place, it was undeniably more than that. Nothing would have happened between them if there hadn't been certain feelings involved. She would never just give herself to anyone in the heat of passion and she only had to look into his eyes afterwards to see that it also meant something to him and that was all she wanted to know.
He refuses to even mention it ever since and she doesn't know if he feels regret, shame or guilt himself or not. She cannot blame him, in fact she also tries her best to forget about that night, because it's obviously the right things to do. They have a firm to run, a professional relationship that should be more important than some idealized feelings, unspoken words and the undeniable physical attraction.
Still in a hidden corner of her heart and deep in the back of her mind she sees a very small chance that something that happened once could likely happen again. Maybe the time will come for them to face the undeniable once more and instead of constantly fighting it they might actually choose to give in instead.