Okay so I decided that I was going to start a new story while I'm writing "So What Happened" I kind of wanted to start a new one. The reason I'm writing the two stories is because I wanted to not just be writing the same thing for a couple of months. So here's Chapter 1 in "Holding a Heart"

Chpt. 1

I wake up to the sweet scent of my husband lying next to me. I smile, and turn over to look at him, and his face. I cup my left hand on one side of his face, and close my eyes. I saw him wake up, and look into my eyes.

"Good morning beautiful!" He said placing a soft kiss on my lips.

I smiled after we broke the kiss, and I embraced him.

"The doctors appointment is today." I said gravely, breaking the joyous moment.

He looked at me worriedly, I knew that he was sad, and I was too. We had been trying for a child over the past few years, and nothing had worked, we were going to find out why we couldn't have children today, or even if we could have our own family. Many nights I had thought to myself selfish thoughts about how it was my husbands fault we couldn't have children, and then I had heard myself, and immediately stopped those thoughts. What I did know was that if it was his fault I wouldn't be mad at him, he was my love, my one and only, my husband.

"Its going to be okay, we still have each other." He said to me. Tears were spilling down my cheeks.

"Chad, I just, I just, I WANT CHILDREN SO BAD!" I wailed, crying into his shirt.

"Hey, hey, its going to be alright, maybe we can have children." He cooed to me.

I buried my face into his shirt, the thought of never being able to have a family was heart wrenching to me, its what i've always wanted. "Your time will come, when you shall have peace." a voice said, I bolted up.

"What is it Heidi?" He asked.

" I-I I don't know." I said, continuing to cry into his shirt.

" We only have a few hours until we go." He told me, putting his hands around my back, kissing my forehead.

We lay in bed for about thirty minutes, and they were filled with tears, and talking about the future.

"I should get ready, and make breakfast." I said getting up wearily.

As I lazily made my way across the kitchen, I went and turned the stove on for the eggs, and bacon. I finished making breakfast, and put it on a plate. I put on my straight black leggings, and for the top a long sleeve maroon tunic. For the shoes, just some simple black flats. I curled my brown hair, and braided a small piece, this was usually my routine for the day.

Chad, and I sat down for breakfast we didn't talk at all. Then he broke the silence.

" Maybe everything will go well." He said, before he ate another bite of his eggs.

Chad always had hope, I didn't. He was the one who had helped me through the toughest times. I bit my lip at the comment he had just made, I was about to cry, but I stopped myself.

" I'm finished." I said, I had barely eaten anything, but I didn't want to talk, or be face to face with Chad.

I took a look at myself in the mirror, before we left. My face was still tearstained then Chad's words sunk in, maybe we could have children, or it could be him. No, no, no ,no I can't think like that, it's not his fault.

He walked into the room, and looked at me.

" Just beautiful!" He said, I forced a smile, it wasn't real, but it was all I had, " Are you ready?"

" Yeah, just one minute." I said, he walked out of the room.

I was going to check one more time before we left.

I took out the box that said "First Response" and brought myself to take the test.

" Just one last try." I said sighing heavily.

After a few minutes I checked the test, as always it read, "negative". Tears welled up in my eyes, and I cried, and started to hyperventilate. I brought myself to get out of the bathroom, and meet my husband at the car.

He did one of his fake smiles, and started the car. We drove to Doctor Malcolm's office, and said nothing.

We sat down in the waiting room for about ten minutes, and then the dreaded words came from the assistant nurses mouth.

" Heidi, and Chad Coleson?" She called, looking around the room.

" That's us." Chad said, as he interlaced our hands, and walked me to the room.

oOo

I had always thought that it would've been my fault, and Heidi knew it, but the doctors words were correct. " We all know that you have tried everything, we truly have, but we were wrong, it's wasn't you Chad that cannot have children." He had said, " Its you, Heidi, you have a disorder, and it cannot be treated."As he had told us the grave news I had noticed that Heidi's face dropped, and she was in shock.

Dr. Malcolm was still in the room observing our reactions.

"I am very sorry, I know how bad you wanted children." He said staring at my wife, " I will leave you two alone for a while." He said, as he exited the room.

I stepped over towards my wife on the bed, she was still in shock, and as soon as I touched her she collapsed into my arms. She was balling, crying, and wailing, just seeing her like this made me cry as well.

"I don't care if it takes us a million years, or oceans of paperwork, but I will get you a child of our own, it may be an orphan, but it will be ours." I said holding her in my arms, tears were streaming down my face too. This had been the first time in years that I had actually cried, I was always there for Heidi, and never cried.

oOo

How, how could it have come to this? I asked myself many questions today, this was officially the worst day of my life. Still pressed against my husband in bed I stayed up for many hours crying, and whimpering to myself. I knew that Chad was also awake, he kept grasping me whenever I had started to breath fast.

Would I ever be out of this dark cloud that surrounded me? I swallowed hard, and got up to use the restroom, there was no toilet paper, so I got into the cupboard to get some more. Instead I found the box of pregnancy tests. I took one look at them, and grabbed the box, and threw it on the ground, crying I collapsed to the ground. Chad had heard me, and went over to me.

"Shh, shh, its gonna be okay, we always get through the hard times, right?" He said brushing his fingers through my hair, I cried for many more hours not letting go of Chad.

Would I ever go back to normal?

Five years later...

"Of course I will, Mrs. Jennings!" I said as I hung up on the phone, I had just accepted a babysitting offer.

It had been five years since the depressing news was given, and I had healed somewhat, there was still one part of me that wanted a child.

"What was that all about?" Chad asked, wrapping me in his arms, and picking me up "princess style".

" Amanda Jennings wants me to babysit her twelve, and eleven year old boys tonight." I said grinning, he kissed me on the lips.

I had accepted many offers to babysitting since I would never have a child.

"When do you leave for their house?" Chad asked me, as he put me down onto the couch.

"In an hour." I said, "But I think I should leave in about thirty minutes, because I might get lost."

"Don't worry, I'll take you." He reassured me.

I got ready for a LONG night, I had babysat these two before, and they can be pretty reckless. I got the keys from the counter, and called for Chad to get out of the bedroom.

"I'm coming!"He said, as he rushed to get out of the bedroom.

I laughed at his quirky way to get out of the door.

We joked the whole way to the Jennings' house, and I practically laughed my head off, I hadn't noticed that I was ten minutes late.

"Okay, I gotta go!" I said to Chad half laughing, "The Jennings will take me home, so you don't have to come back."

"Okay, okay you may leave!" He saidI was laughing really hard at this point.

Then he pulled me into a passionate, fiery kiss that lasted a couple of minutes, I wish that it could've lasted longer, but I had to go. I pulled away from the kiss, and ran into the house soaked from the rain.

I burst into the doors.

"I'm so sorry that I'm late, time, and traffic got the best of me!" I said to Mr. and Mrs. Jennings.

"Its alright." Mrs. Jennings said, "Okay this is Sam, our twelve year old, and Aaron our eleven year old."

"Nice to meet you two, I'm Heidi!" I said enthusiastically.

"Now were really in a rush, so I have to go, love you both, and have fun!" She said kissing her sons on the forehead.

When they left the boys went to the DVD drawer, and pulled out a movie.

"What movie is that?" I asked curiously.

"Um, uh, should we tell her?" Aaron asked, as they started to go to their room.

"Fine!" Sam said reluctantly, "Its Lord of the Rings."

"Oh, why did you hide it?" I asked my eyebrows narrowed knowing that they probably shouldn't be watching it.

"Our mother doesn't like it, but its really good, do you want to watch it with us?" Aaron blurted out.

"Okay, but do not tell your mother, or I'll never be able to babysit you ever again!" I said hesitantly, heading back to their room.

The movie started, and it was pretty interesting, but sleep got the best of me. I had gone to work extra early today, because I had been cursed with the early shift.

I woke up when someone shook me on the shoulder.

"Heidi, Heidi!" Someone whispered, I recognized it, it was Mrs. Jennings.

"Yeah, oh, what time is it?" I whispered back, still a little groggy.

"Its one o'clock in the morning sweetheart." She said, "Now the boys fell asleep, so be sure to not wake them."

"Okay." I said, I was stumbling, not really in the world at that moment, then everything went into focus.

She lead me to her car, and I put my seatbelt on, and she drove me to my apartment.

"Thanks again for babysitting, I think that boys really liked you." She told me smiling, "Maybe you could do this again?"

"Of course!" I said smiling from ear to ear.

I went up the elevator to our apartment, and put they key in, and walked inside.

"Chad, I'm home!" I said, remembering about what he had said earlier, and chuckling at it.

Then someone grabbed me from behind the back.

I screamed, and the anonymous person cupped his hand over my mouth.

"Shh, shh, its just me." It was Chad.

I sighed a huge sigh of relief, and he let go of me.

"Whats going on?" I whispered nervously.

"People are in the apartment, they caught me in my sleep, and I tried to fight them off, but they are armed with guns, so I ran, and hid."He whispered back, "Then I found you."

I started to get really scared, and breathed heavily.

"It'll be okay, as long as we have each other." He said grasping my hand.

Then I heard clinging, and banging.

"Thats them." Chad said.

I found a knife lying on the ground near me, and pointed towards it so Chad would know what I was doing, he approved. I reached for it, I was almost there when just as I grabbed it, it made a huge noise. I snatched the knife off of the ground, knowing that they had found us. I saw them they had masks on that looked peculiar, one of them grabbed me by the neck, and pulled me up. They didn't know that I was armed too, so I smite him in the stomach with the knife. His friend caught this, and grabbed his gun, and shot Chad in the chest.

"NOOOOOOO!" I screamed, I was crying now, and then felt a sharp pain in my stomach. I looked down, and saw that the knife I once held in my hand was in my stomach.

I fell to the ground beside my husband, and took the knife out, I groaned as the pain got more intense.

"Ch-Cha-Chad?" I asked stuttering in pain, and agony.

There was no answer, he was dead. I wept, and wept until I fell unconscious, and then I heard a smooth voice, and recognized it, it was the one I had heard whenever I was crying before we went to the doctor's office, and the one I had heard in the movie.