Disclaimer: I do not own South Park or any of the following characters.
Kenny's POV
I always die at the most inopportune moments: When I'm hanging out with friends, when I'm trying to get laid; always when I'm minding my own business. I don't go looking for trouble; the world just seems to be out to get me.
Damien says it's fate's way of bringing us together. Who'd figure the spawn of Satan—or the devil himself, for that matter—to be so romantic? Guess the apple doesn't fall too far from the tree, right? I mean, they're both gay as fuck.
"Again?" Damien questions, as I saunter through his bedroom door. "How are you already back here?" I'm unceasingly surprised by the high pitch of his voice. "It's been, like," he glances at the clock on his laptop, "twenty minutes...?"
"What can I say?" I plop down on the bed, and sprawl out. Damien's currently at his computer desk. "I missed you. Figured I'd catch another round-trip ticket to Hell."
"Uh-huh."
"Fine, I didn't kill myself... But, I did miss you."
"I missed you, too," he says. "So, what happened?"
My deaths apparently intrigue the hell out of Damien. Not that I blame him... I've died in some pretty fucked up ways. Everything from impalement, to having a grand piano dropped on me. I really hate to disappoint him... "Got hit by another car."
"Boring."
"Sorry my death wasn't tragic or gruesome enough for you," I say sarcastically, though it appears to affect Damien.
"Nah, I'm sorry, dude..." He averts his eyes. "I honestly feel bad that you have to deal with that shit."
"It's fates way of bringing us together," I remind him.