"Hello, Dean."
His voice breaks through the silence of Dean's bedroom, echoing against the cold, bare walls. Dean jerks his head towards the voice; his eyes trying to adjust in the darkness.
"Here." The voice says, suddenly by the other side of Dean's bed as he switches on a lamp. He stands there watching Dean, awaiting a response.
"Why are you in here, Cas?" Dean tries to sound more irritated than he actually is. He knew he had good reason to be, but the truth was, he was never really inconvenienced by Cas' company.
"You asked me to tell you when I had more information about-" Dean cuts him off before he can finish.
"Yeah, not now, Cas. When I'm awake." Cas frowns a little and then goes to speak. "I mean, obviously I'm awake now." He sighs and presses his forefinger and thumb to the bridge of his nose. "Just tell me in the morning, okay?"
"Okay". Cas nods but doesn't leave straight away. He lingers for a moment and Dean lets him. "Is everything okay, Dean?"
"It will be, once you get out of here and I can get back to sleep." His eyes are closed now. Cas pauses for a moment and moves to sit on the edge of the bed. Dean feels the mattress dip and opens his eyes, raising his eyebrow at him.
"I've been with you and Sam long enough now Dean, I know when you're keeping something to yourself. I understand if you don't want to tell me." He pauses, not wanting to push on. He knew how Dean hated the 'chick flick' moments. He looks away, trying to appear casual. "But you can tell me. If you wanted to."
"Noted." Dean said. His eyes are fixed on Cas now. They sit there in silence for a moment.
There's no way Dean is going back to sleep any time soon. There had been things on his mind for a while now. Things that he had tried to repress as much as possible. Things he was trying to figure out but couldn't make much sense of. Cas is looking right at him now, and for a moment his guard is down. He knows he's going to regret it the moment he says it, but those blue eyes are so honest and understanding, and they're looking right through him, like he's transparent. Like it didn't matter what he was about to say, because Cas knew anyway. Maybe to Cas, his thoughts were audible. Nothing could keep him out.
"You mean a lot to me, Cas." There. That was easy. He thinks to himself.
"I care very much for too, Dean." He says is so matter-of-factly, like it's obvious. He doesn't get it.
"No, I mean, you really mean a lot to me. It's almost a little confusing." He sits himself up now, bending his legs so that his arms are resting over his knees.
"Why are you confused?"
Dean laughs softly, shaking his head slightly. "You know, this would be a lot less complicated if you were in a female vessel."
"I don't understand. Does my physical appearance offend you?"
Another chuckle from Dean.
"No, Cas." He lowers his head and mumbles to himself. "Quite the opposite"
"I'd still be me, Dean." Cas offers.
"I know, but then certain things would make more sense."
"I'm not following." Cas' frown returns and Dean's getting a little flustered now, but he doesn't regret saying it. Weirdly enough, he feels better for it. A look of concern is spreading across Cas' face. Dean doesn't want to have to spell it out for him.
"You should know I'm not gay." He blurts out. Where did that come from?
"I have to say that I kind of gathered that, Dean." His eyes spark with humour.
"Yeah but-" He can't do it. He can't say it. He rubs his jaw with his hand, composing himself and looks directly at Cas. He is attracted to him. It took him a while to admit it to himself. To accept that he thought about him in that way. He's at a loss for words now, and Cas is still watching him. Waiting for him.
Dean pushes himself up from the bed and positions himself so that he's sat on the edge next to Cas. Close enough that there's hardly any room between them. Cas looks straight ahead at the stone wall in front of them, deep in his own thoughts. Dean drops his head as he tries to make sense of the last few minutes.
Finally he exhales and turns his head so that he's looking at Cas' shoulder. He's never been this close to him before. Not like this. Definitely not in Dean's room; on his bed. It's making his head spin. He lifts his head up slightly and sees the side of his face. His eyes follow the line of his jaw until he comes to his lips.
He swallows his own defences and fears and inches closer. Finally Cas senses the movement and turns toward him, about to say something but he's silenced by Dean's mouth on his. It's sudden but soft and so natural. Both of them just falling into the motion, like they've done it a hundred times before. Dean wants nothing more than to deepen the kiss. To have as much of Cas as possible. He parts his lips slightly and Cas mirrors his action.
He's suddenly so turned on that he reaches out to touch him, but pulls himself away before he's able to; breaking the kiss. His eyes are looking anywhere but at Cas. No one speaks. He clears his throat nervously and sits up straight; moving away slightly, giving them a little bit of space. The silence is almost deafening now and Dean considers cracking a joke to relieve the tension.
Nothing funny comes to mind.
"Dean?" His voice is serious and it makes Dean flinch. He looks up at Cas, but he doesn't continue. He's just watching him.
"Yeah?" Dean urges. He tries to appear nonchalant, like there was nothing weird about what had just happened, but he can feel the blood rushing to his cheeks.
"What took you so long?" He still carries the serious tone and Dean wonders if he misheard him.
He loses all sense of cool as he mutters "huh?", but it suddenly makes sense as Cas reaches his hand out to pull Dean closer to him, bringing his mouth to his once more.
This is my first attempt at writing anything remotely Dean/Cas. (Hence why it's so tame!) I don't actually ship this pairing but I love their dynamic. Plus I want to start challenging myself and explore relationships that I wouldn't usually consider.