If one person doe some whiny stuff about "bu-bu-but, you were supposed to post a new chapter of such and such" I will kick you in your virtual nads. Believe it or not, I'm starting to get my grove back, and it's all this person's fault…

http:// sakora1. deviantart. com/

(As well as some tasteful reviews.)

In any case, just the other night I worked on BA so sush. In other news, Word girl has completely engulfed my life. I turn 18 in less than 3 weeks and people have to fight me for the remote in the pit of doom whenever Word girl comes on. My latest love, Dr. Two-brains. Just one of his episodes will get you hooked. I also have an unnatural love for the interaction between him and Word girl, and pair them adamantly.

And hence, this brain baby was born. A 4 piece series of Christmas oneshots, each taking place in a different universe.

This first one happens in canon.

Merry Christmas http:// sakora1. deviantart. com/ !!!!! (she be drawing me doodles!!!!)

Oneshot # 1: Canon-verse (TB pov)

They could be out stealing cheese right this minute, and his lackeys had the nerve to actually want to CELIBRATE! God forbid he actually was nice enough to pay them on their time off, but to use it at the same time (never mind a holiday) leaving him alone with no muscle to carry out his igneous plans, was just plain rude.

So Dr. Two-brains paced across the warehouse, (He didn't even have a decent home, because who would honestly rent to a villain,) angry, a little hurt, and craving cheese bad enough to make his teeth ache.

He was tempted to try something on his own, but when had that ever worked. At best, Word girl would struggle for a half an hour or so before pounding his butt up between his shoulder blades. At worst, it would be like the last incident where his minions wanted a vacation, when he had tried to take her on, one on one, only to be literally blown back with a flick of her finger to his nose. It hadn't broken anything, but it had sent pain shooting up between his eyes and into his brain, where is had pounded there for three days. His arc of a nose had spasmed to the touch and bled whenever he blew it for a full week while his eyes watered. What was sad about it was that he knew the full extent of Word girl's abilities. And that flick the nose had been bored, but careful. She had actually tried not to hurt him.

No, he needed muscle, people to move heavy equipment and hold back opposition while he planed.

Well, if his no good minions wanted to laze about, then at least he could get some work done.

Now he knew that no one should be snooping about his lab, which is why he was all the more surprised when he stomped in, ranting about inconsiderate ingrates, kicking, slamming, and punching whatever he could on the way, only to see the person he expected to see the least, hovering a foot in the air in front of his desk, facing away from him.

"Word girl what are you doing here?"

He didn't bother to hide the annoyance he felt. Didn't feel bad at all when she jumped slightly, clearly startled, (which looked odd a foot in the air), squeezing the package she cradles in her arms slightly. He hadn't been doing anything, anything that she could possibly know about that is. There was no way she could have known that he would sit in here all night, alone and angry, tinkering with some ray or another until it gave a mild electric shock to whatever no good do-gooder or caroler he saw fit the next day. No way that she could have interpret any of his actions into some kind of potential scheme enough to come here and-

But she didn't look confrontational; in fact she looked downright guilty, like she had caught her wrist deep in a cookie jar.

"So… how you been?" He raised a brow as she avoided both his question and his eyes.

"Fine."

"Good, good." She nodded to herself, and they fell into silence.

"How about you and that little monkey sidekick of yours." He was the only one who knew the monkey's name, let alone species. And he hadn't wanted to be rude…

"Fine…."

"Oh well, good" Again, silence.

"So, um, where are-?"

"Dumb and Dumber? They went home for the holidays like every other paid minion. And the monkey?"

"Oh, um, he had a liiiiiiiiiittle to much eggnog and fell asleep."

"Oh." He winced. Inebriated monkey. He would NOT want to have to clean up that mess in the morning. But where did 10 year old get eggnog?….

"Um, so, yeah, it's Christmas, you know, Santa and reindeer and candy canes and trees and all that, and your supposed to get gift and give them to people you care about, cause I know they say it's not what it's all about, " She was nervous, he realized, because Word girl only ranted like this when nervous. "But it always feels good, I mean really good to get presents, and well I saw this and thought of you so here."

This final bit was punctuated by the brightly colored package she had been cradling carefully in her arms to be shoved into his face. He took it without a second thought.

"Yes well, you're such a goody goody that you probably gave something to every villain you ever met, right?" He gave her a little wink. They were both flustered, so he'd only said it to try and diffuse some of the nervousness, but she visibly tensed and looked away from him again.

"Um, yeah, sure." He knew instantly that not only did she not give something to every villain, but he was the only villain to get something from her.

That just made him more rattled.

He looked at the present to avoid looking at her. It wasn't very big. It was a perfect square that took up most of his hand, only about an inch thick that sat heavy in his hand. It was wrapped in forest green paper that was spotted with cheery trees and long lines of red tinsel. A bright red bow sat on top, with a festively shaped tag attached that read To: TB Love: WG.

"Thank you Word girl." The words were out of his mouth before he realized, an old polite habit from his younger days. He wanted to smile when he saw he visibly redden, but he seemed to be just as bewildered as she was by the words.

"Well, you welcome. Just don't open it till tomorrow, okay." And with that, she was gone, zooming out fast enough that the residual wind tore at his hair and coat.

Of course the first thing he did was find a comfy spot on his couch, muting whatever annoying special was on, and open it. He was a villain after all; he could open his present whenever he wished.

Cheese. She had gotten him cheese. And he was thrilled.

Remembering his hunger, he tore off to the vault, downing a whole wheel of cheddar, something sharp and hard and satisfying that would tide him over. He wanted to say it was curiosity that made him go for something else, rather than gorge on the small block sitting in the paper on the couch, but maybe it was something more sentimental.

In any case, he sat back down, satisfied, a cup of new coffee in his hands, and hefted the thin block into his lap.

He looked over the white cheese, the brown sugary crust, read the label and instantly laughed.

Juustoleipa, she had gotten him Juustoleipa. How appropriate. He peeled back the layers of plastic until he cracked the vacuumed seal and gave a great sniff. Sweat and milky, it made his mouth water all over again, and instantly he tore off a corner of the reindeer cheese and popped it in his mouth without a second thought. Even cooled it was amazing. The outside caramelized crust crunched just slightly between his teeth like sugar and danced sweetly on his tongue. The inner layer crumbled like bread between his teeth before melting slightly into something reminiscent of custard. The whole thing gave off this milky, buttery flavor that stuck to his tongue even after he had swallowed.

This was special cheese though, and one simply had to eat it properly. The first thing he did was heat it. The microwave would do, only a few seconds before it glistened and steamed. He portioned each bit carefully, one strip to dunk in his coffee, another to smother in jam, another in honey, another for this or that. By the time he was finished, he had the ten ounce block portioned into somewhere between 5 to ten different means of eating, warm and only slightly giving between his teeth and almost unbearably sweet for cheese.

A kind of peace came over him as he sat on the old worn couch, half listening to Christmas specials he remembered watching when he was a child, wrapped in a robe and blanket with slippers on his feat, sipping coffee and devouring each slice with careful deliberate bites, savoring each bit.

Finally, he was down to the last bite, this one slathered in warm honey. Chewing on it, he was touched, to think that someone had been so thoughtful.

Sucking the buttery sugar from his teeth, he wondered what one got an over intelligent super powered ten year old.

I've been kicked off the computer.

Parts 2-4 will be up soon.