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How? How the hell am I supposed to control myself around that boy. That pristine, witty, sexy boy. He looks like heaven. Everything is so pure and beautiful. He has skin that you know would make silk feel like wool, oceans for eyes, and bubblegum lips. And I am supposed to control myself, even though my thoughts sound like a John Mayer song. I am supposed to be his friend and feign platonic feelings. It's getting old. I mean how many times can you cum from your own hand breathing the name of someone who has never touched you? You know without it being creepy. I feel my restraint running out and it can't, not with him. I want to just grab him and fuck him against the freshly closed door, without even asking questions. But he deserves more from love than that; the world owes him more from love than that. Eventually I will give him what he needs, I'm just nervous. I literally shake when I stare at him too long. The way his lips move when he sings. The shaking probably isn't solely from those lips but most likely from the fact that I'm picturing that very mouth around my hard cock, as my hands tangle in his no-longer coiffed hair. I want him so bad and he doesn't have a clue. Awesome. Now I'm hard just from writing in my journal, this is ridiculous.

Blaine closed his journal and let it slide to his side as he lay in bed. His head tilted back and his eyes fell closed. Thoughts of Kurt still danced in his mind. His hand slowly began to palm his hard cock through his tight jeans. Then heard a knock on the door.

"Uh-jus-just a second!" Blaine managed to sputter out as he his mind flashed back to reality.

He got off the bed and attempted to adjust himself to make his hard-on less noticeable. With about 10 seconds of quick paced deliberation, Blaine decided the up-tuck method would best suffice and quickly tucked his hard cock up in the waistband to his boxers. He then rushed to the door and opened it as he was tugging at his sweatshirt, still not confident that he had hidden his boner well.

"Oh hey Kurt" Blaine managed to say, even though he was completely out of breath from rushing around, and of course his previous endeavor.

"Hey Blaine! I was wondering if you wanted to watch a movie or something. I finished my homework and now I am beyond bored."

Blaine's heart did a pirouette but he hoped it didn't show on his face.

"Yes, definitely! My dvds are on my desk, go pick one out. I have to use the restroom so I will join you in a second." Blaine stated through a wide smile.

"You better have Hairspray. I'm in the mood for some Zefron" Kurt pronounced as Blaine walked into the bathroom but not before he could reply with "Yeah right! Like I would have a trash movie like that, I only watch films Kurt."

Kurt rolled his eyes and then smiled when he spotted a copy of Hairspray resting between Inception and A Clockwork Orange.

Kurt flopped back on the bed as he absent-mindly re-read the back of the dvd case for the umpteenth time since the dvd came out four years ago. But his perusing of Zac Efron's face was soon cut short when he felt an unexpected pain in his back. He looked for the source and found a black leather bound journal. He held it up and noticed a blue ink pen was holding a place between the pages of the journal. "I really shouldn't" Kurt thought. "But oh sweet Gaga do I want to. I mean what he doesn't know won't hurt him. Even the slightest insight into his head might help me to understand him better and ultimately impress him." And with that personal logic Kurt opened Blaine's journal to the newly inked page.

Expecting a run-down of what happened that day or maybe some complaints and/or confessions of nerves pertaining to Warbler-type things; Kurt was not prepared for what his eyes found. Those eyes that were "oceans", apparently. Blaine wants me. Just as much as I want him was all Kurt could think. Kurt was so enthralled by what he was reading that he didn't even notice that he was getting hard or that his mouth was gaping wide open and his eyes were nearly popping out of his head.

Meanwhile, Blaine stood at the sink splashing icy water on his face and tried to think of unsexy thoughts, though this was proving to be a feat considering that the epitome of everything sexy was just on the other side of the door.

Finally Blaine feels sufficiently unsexified and walks into his room. His eyes immediately go to Kurt but this is nothing new; Kurt's being is just like the opposite end of a magnet to Blaine's eyes. However, the usual contentment his heart finds by gazing at Kurt is immediately replaced by a gaping hole in his stomach. He couldn't swallow or breathe and about three hundred and ninety-six things were going through his mind. All basic physical and mental processes that Blaine usually has control of were halted and replaced by sweat and verging tears. Kurt was holding his journal, not only holding his journal but the little brat was reading it. From there the anxiety and embarrassment seemed to erupt in superfluous words from both parties.

Kurt ! Oh my god why did you start reading my journal. Im so sorry, don't pay attention to that. Don't think I'm perverted. I never thought-" Blaine was cut off by Kurt.

"Blaine I'm so so sorry. I just found it and let curiosity get the best of me. Don't hate me. I'm sorry. I didn't really see that much (lies)."

Blaine was just standing there next to his bed. His blush obvious. Kurt looked at him and it saw that Blaine obviously wanted to crawl into a hole. His eyes were downcast and his arm were crossed. Eyes threatening to spill over with tears.

"I didn't want you to find out my feelings this way Kurt. I'm really embarrassed. But this probably better anyway. We can just get it over with."

Well Kurt felt like an ass. Blaine sounded so defeated and sad. Even though Kurt had no idea why. Embarrassed his understood but it sounded like Blaine had just been told his puppy was sent to live on a farm.

"Blaine, I don't understand. Get what over with?"

"You can reject me and tell me you don't feel the same. And we can just move on and be friends. Y-you do want to be friends right? Oh god Kurt please can we still be friends. I ca-can't think of my life with out you." Tears really were flowing at this point; Blaine was stuttering and speaking quickly but Kurt heard every word. (Kurt was pretty skilled when it came to listening to Blaine's voice, no matter what speed.)

Kurt was over powered by more emotion than he thought his heart could ever hold.