Keep calm, Sarah, just keep calm. Even as I say it to myself, I know I'm not going to listen-I'm freaking out. I've never been more nervous, I'm sweating in places I didn't know I could sweat. I haven't been on a date in a long time, not since Bryce. I can't believe a handsome, charming guy asked me out at work. There's something about him, I don't know what it is, but already just thinking about him my heart is racing like nothing on this earth.
I sigh and try to compose myself as I pull on my black shift dress, I twist and fuss about with it until it's in place, I survey myself in the mirror and sigh again. My blonde hair is curled and falls down my back in ringlets, I've outlined my blue eyes with black kohl pencil to make them stand out - I look tall and leggy with my heels on, not too tall though I hope - I have a slight complex about that, good thing Chuck towers over me.
I step out of my bedroom and shuffle in my heels out to the living room where my brother Awesome is sprawled out on the sofa with his girlfriend Ellie on his lap.
"Oh my God, Sarah you look stunning." She looks pleasantly surprised and I smile shyly.
"Thanks." I say simply.
"You're wearing contacts! You look so different without glasses." Awesome says.
"Good different?" I wonder.
"Of course, you're making a big effort for tonight - this guy must be something special!" He replies.
"I hope so." I say, I hear a knock on the door. "See you later."
I see them try to peek at him as I open the door, I lose interest in their reactions when I see Chuck, looking sharp and handsome in a tight fitting suit, his curls are sexy and untamed, his toned body is visable through his shirt - I marvel over how tanned his skin is - how tall he is, he actually makes me feel small for once. I realise I have been looking him up and down for several seconds and haven't said anything. "Hi." I squeak.
"Hey, Sarah, you look gorgeous." I blush. "You ready to go?"
"Yeah." I feel his eyes on me as I reach to shut the door, as I'm closing it I see Ellie mouth 'he's hot' at me and Awesome gives me a thumbs up.
He takes me to one of my favourite mexican restaurants. Guys in sombreros are playing on little guitars as we as seated. My heart was thumping even on the way in the car, my body was hot and my stomach was full of butterflies. He looks at me now and I feel my emotions intensify, I've never felt like this before and it's really scary. I've barely known him 24 hours.
Half an hour later, I feel like I've known him forever.
"So I live with my brother Awesome and his girlfriend Ellie-"
"No!" Chuck says mockingly. "You call him awesome?" He smiles.
"Captain Awesome actually, because every single thing he does is awesome, even when I was little he amazed me every day, everything he does is awesome, climbing mountains, jumping out of planes - flossing." I grin fondly, thinking of Devon.
"That's funny." He laughs.
"Well I'm a funny girl." I reply, surprised at my quick whit, amazed how I manage to get words out of mouth with the tidal waves of emotions taking place in my body.
"Clearly. Which is good, because I'm not funny."
"Is that your big secret by the way? Because I've been sitting here trying to figure you out, I was thinking either he's not funny or he's a serial killer. I was pushing for a serial killer because I've never met one of those before.. not that I'd want to." I notice I'm spiralling again and stop talking and smirk nervously.
To my relief, he laughs and it lights up his face and my heart. "No, not a seriel killer, but I have just come out of a long relationship." He says, still smiling, I find myself smiling - I observe that every time we look at each other or exchange words, we have grins planted on our faces. "So I may come with baggage."
"Well, I can be your very own baggage handler." Shit. I gasp inwardly at what I just said, there's an awkward pause where I mentally slap myself for being such a cheesy romantic. I shouldn't say things like that out loud. I suddenly change the subject. "So your ex.. She's the reason you moved here from.."
"DC. I moved here after I found that all of my friends were her friends and everything about DC reminded me of.." Chuck pause for a moment, "Jess. I knew I needed a change. A big one at that."
"Well, LA is a great place to start. Plenty of beaches here with tanned babes to take your mind off of Jess." Oh shut up, Sarah, you sound like a class A dork.
"I won't disagree with you there." His chocolate eyes search mine and I find myself melting like a marshmallow dangling over a hot fire. "So, what about you? Any skeletons in the closet..any secrets.. any women?" He says curiously.
My mind drifts to Bryce, memories of he and I in Stanford, walking around hand in hand, gazing into each other's eyes, the flashbacks then take a darker turn as I think of making the mistake of introducing him to Jill Roberts, my eyes cloud over and I relive the moment of when I found out they slept together, I remember my heart shattering into a tiny thousand unfixable pieces. "Uh yeah.. There was someone, back when I was in college.." I fear that I'm going to babble on but I stop myself. Thankfully. "But that's all over with now, and his restraining orders are very specific." I joke.
His eyes look into mine, his pupils darting slightly from left to right as he watches me. "I like you, Sarah." He beams. I feel my heart contract and my face redden, I have the sudden urge to grab his hand across the table, but resist, I want to say I like you too - but I don't want to seem to desperate or needy. I need to be cool. Although 'Sarah Walker' and 'cool' do not belong in the same sentence.
I beam back at him, feeling my mouth stretch from ear to ear, I can't stop myself, I feel so happy and giddy and alive.
Later, we're walking across the bridge, Chuck and I are walking closely together (although I'm still resisting the urge to grab his hand). "Where are we going?" He asks me.
"Well do you like music?!"
"I guess."
What does he mean by that? "You guess? What type of music do you like?"
He pauses. And gives a little laugh.
"Oh my God, Oh my God." I love music, how can he not love music? I couldn't live without my daily fix of The Black Keys.. Or Arcade Fire, or Franz Ferdinand, there are so many! I feel the need to educate him, to make him love music as much as I do, but I bite my tongue.
Chuck starts to say something but I get distracted by the police cars, I see images in my head again, like yesterday, I know where they are going, it's about the guy I saw in Large Mart, and then there's a picture of a pie. I don't know about that one. How do I know these things, am I going insane? I shake it off and turn back to Chuck, I apologise for zoning out and we joke about how this is the worst date I've ever had, because he's not funny and he doesn't listen to music. It really is funny though, because this is the best date I've ever been on.
We enter one of my favourite clubs, and the music is pounding as we decend down the stairs, I feel the vibe hit me as we walk in. We sit down awkwardly and watch the others dance. I see him looking at the band.
"They're good." He notes.
"Good.. Yeah.. Good." I mentally hit myself again, why do I feel so awkward all of a sudden? Then I realise it's because I really don't want to dance, I can't dance. I watch him, he's looking at a group of people by the entrance, he's very focused on them. Suddenly he grabs my hand and my body heats up, he pulls me. "Let's dance."
"Oh no!" I protest awkwardly, "I can't dance!"
But he carries on regardless, we're on the dance floor and he moves with the music, he's a natural mover. He twirls me around, making me dance, he places his hands on my waist and suddenly I want him with a fierce, hot desire that makes me want to run out of this club right now with him. The way he dances is such a turn on, I feel myself let go a bit and move my limbs in time with the beat. I move against him, wait, did I just grab his ass? What has gotten into me? I run my hands down his legs and he pulls me through his legs. I notice he's pre-occupied with something, all of a sudden he pulls me up and shouts "let's go!" Over the music.
We run through the crowds and I feel a chill run through me, what's going on?