Heya! Akimii here!
Welp, as this is my very first story (the very first I published, but not the first to be made), you guys should know about the warnings...
- Raph is a female character.
- Contains Donnie x Raph x Leo
- Rated M for EXTREMELY disturbing content.
- I'm Brazilian, so please don't mind if there's grammar errors or if it's not good written :(*
- This GenderSwitch! Raph in particular is completely mine, as well as her universe.*
Disclaimer: TMNT does not belong to me, only my AU, GenderSwitch! Raph and my story.
The lair, 23:12 PM
- Donnie's POV
After another long day of work, I could finally go to sleep. I get to my room, brush my teeth, make my bed and lie on it. So I began to think...
Raph has been acting weird recently. She doesn't act like we know she used to. For some reason, she keeps avoiding Leo. She almost doesn't eat and everytime she have to walk to anywhere, she does it sadly and slowly, like a zombie. She doesn't even smile anymore. Sometimes, I can hear her crying in her room at dawn.
Poor Raph.
So I just stopped thinking and got back to sleep.
- Donnie's bedroom, 03:52 a.m.
I was sleeping normally, when I felt something wrapping around my chest. Whatever it was, it was holding me tightly making me feel kinda uncomfortable. What is this...? I slowly opened my eyes, and when I realized who was doing that, I widened them in surprise.
"Raph?" - I asked her.
"Mhmm..." - That's all she said.
"Raph, what are you doing in my room?" - I asked her again.
"... Just go back to sleep, Donnie..."
"What, no! What are you doing?"
"Just pretend I'm not here and go back to sleep!" - She keeps insisting. She doesn't open her eyes.
"No, tell me what are you doing or else I'll kick you out!"
"... I just don't wanted to sleep alone, okay? Now stop asking me those stupid questions and go back to sleep."
"What do you mean, you don't wanted to sleep alone?"
"Donnie... Stop it..."
"If you answer me quickly, I'll stop asking quickly."
"... (sigh)." - She opens her eyes - "Fine, I'll tell you. But you have to promise me you won't tell anyone about this."
"Is it something about you avoiding Leo all the time?" - I asked her.
"... Yes but... Do you promise me or not?"
"Okay, Raph, I promise."
"... Look, I just... I'm scared.. Of him."
"Of Leo? But you always won of him in the training. We all know that you're stronger than him. Why do you suddenly got "scared" of Leo?"
"... Because.. B-because... He does bad things to me... In my room.. At night... I just don't want him to hurt me again..."
"Bad things? What type of bad things?"
"I already told you why I'm here. Stop asking me those stupid questions."
"Raph, if he does bad things to you, you can't just ignore and keep it in secret. You have to tell us what's happening so we can help you to solve this problem. We're a family after all, aren't we?"
"... Yes but... I can't tell... "
"Why not?" - I insisted.
"I can't tell..."
I came to realize that she wouldn't respond me no matter how much I insist. So I just gave up and let her sleep in my bed with me. She noticed that and closed her eyes, hugging me. I kinda feel... Nice. The last time Raph hugged me this way, I think we were seven or eight years old. It's good to know that she does like to spent time with me even though she is older.
How I missed this, Raph...
"... Good night, Raphie." - I told her.
"Thank you." - She said. So we just hugged each other and we slept together, as I began to dream...
"Hey, Raph! Check this out!" - Five-year old Mickey run towards his older sister, before pulling her into an tower-shaped box, which was up the dojo tree (How that little child was able to put that box up the tree?).
"What... What is this, Mike?" - Five-year old Raph asked, confused.
"Can't you see? It's the castle! You're the princess, and the princes have to come to save you from me, the big mad dragon!"
"Hah! You're the dragon? Someone cute like you would never put fear in anyone. Also, this look like an stupid game. I'm not playing with you." - She told him.
"Aw, but please! I don't have anything else to do! Come on, Raph please! Play with me, Raph!"
"Mickey, I said-" - She was interrupted by...
"Fear not, young lady! I, the great Donatello, am here to save you from this beast!" - Five-year old Don shows himself, holding a stick, pretending it was a staff.
""Donnie?" - Raph questions herself.
"Hahah! Worry not, my princess. I, Leonardo the second, am here to save you from the beast AND from the amateur." - Five-year old Leo appears behind Donnie, holding a katana-shaped cardboard and a pan lid as a shield.
"Amateur? Let's see who's the amateur here when I take the princess." Donnie confidently said.
"Your challenge has been accepted. I will not fail you, your majesty. Here comes your savior!" - Leo run towards Mickey, trying to hit him with his "sword". Donnie does the same.
"Oh well. Looks like I'll have to play after all." - Raph spoke to herself.
After Mickey trapped Donnie between himself and the tree, making it tremble, Raph feels that tremble and realizes the box was about to fall.
"Uh... Guys?" - Raph tries to call his brothers, but they ignore her.
"Now is your end, knight! "- Mickey tells Donnie.
Don tries to protect himself from his brother with his stick, but before the "dragon"could attack, he was pinned down by Leonardo.
"Ok ok, I surrender, I surrender!" - Mickey cries.
So, the box slipped. With one foot stuck inside the box, Raph falls along with it.
"See, Raph, I-"-Leonardo tries to brag to his sister, but he shuts his mouth when see that Donatello, in a quick movement, had saved her from the fall.
The look on Raph's face to see that she was saved by Donnie was... Confusing.
She was grateful, yet confused but completely embarrassed. He had caught her exactly like a prince would carry a princess, and realizing that, she blushes, and same did he.
So, when he got back to reality, he put Raph on the floor again.
"Uhm... Thanks." - She said, before hugging him - "My prince."
The next day, I woke up and Raph was still in my embrace. She's so cute when asleep, maybe even more than Mickey. So I petted her head, and got up.
I brushed my teeth, washed my face, gave Raph a little kiss in her head and I leaved.
So I saw everyone walking quickly around the house, they seemed to be looking for something... Or someone.
"Donnie!" - Leo said - "Hey, have you seen Raph around here? We couldn't find her, we looked everywhere, we looked in her room and she wasn't there, either."
"Oh! Yes, I did. She's sleeping in my room right now."
"... In your room? Why is Raph sleeping in your bedroom?" - He asked.
"She-" - I tried to say, but he interrupted me:
"You didn't do wrong things with her, did you?"
"What? NO! Of course not! She's my sister, I would never do anything like that to her. And I don't think you have to keep on with your lies, Leonardo. She told me that you do bad things to her at night."
"Woah, what? Bad things? What do you mean, I never did "bad things" to her."
"Yeah, sure." - I said, in a sarcastic tone.
"I'm serious! I never did anything to her!"
"She was the one who came to my room last night. She was the one who told me that she's scared of you because of what you do to her. You won't fool me anymore, neither will sensei." - I told him.
"Don, I never did anything to her. Never. I would never be able to do something like that to her."
"... I won't believe you, Leo. I won't let you stay close of her while you can't prove yourself. I don't wanted to do this but you leave me no other choice."
"... It's okay, I understand. You want her safety, I know I would do the same."
"Good."
So we haven't talked to each other for the rest of the day. Raph hasn't changed too much, but I realized that she ate her whole breakfast and almost the whole lunch. That's something already.
22:55 p.m.
Raph's room
I came to see Raph. I just couldn't leave her alone in her room when I knew that Leo could hurt her.
I entered the room, and she was lying on her bed, and she seemed to be preparing herself for something.
"Please..." - A cracked voice - "Leave me alone tonight. Just please, go away..."
"Raph, it's me. Donnie." - I told her. She looked at me and she seemed relieved. But she didn't look at me much. She got back to her position. - "Raph? What happened to you?"
"Nothing... Yet." - It's like if she was sure something would happen to her.
"... Raph, I don't wanna leave you here. You can sleep with me again, if you want."
"Are you serious?" - She asked.
"Sure."
"So... Yes, please. I would love to."
I smiled, and same did she. We go to my room, together. Not as a couple, but as brothers. I'm glad I can make her feel better not doing much.
I lied on my bed, leaving space for Raph to stay there with me. She jumped in my plastron, almost making me puke all my dinner.
"Ouch." - I said, she smirked.
"Sorry." - She apologized.
So she hugged me, and I hugged her. We kept in the same position, until she told me:
"Thank you. Thank you so much. It's been so long that I don't sleep so... Peacefully. I would still be there, with him, if it wasn't for you, Donnie."
"I love you, sister. I would never let him do those things to you, whatever is what he does."
She looked thoughtful for a moment.
"Good night, Donnie." - She said.
"... Good night."
= 14 sleepovers later, 02:53 a.m. =
Raph has been acting so... Normal recently. This is really good, it's like if she healed herself from her depression. But that doesn't mean that we don't sleep together anymore.
Sensei asked her how did she healed so fast, so she told him about our sleepovers in my room. I thought he would react badly, but he didn't. He just said he was proud of me for letting her sleep with me. And he was also proud of her for letting me help her.
03:12 a.m.
My bedroom
We came to my room tonight, so we could sleep. I can't believe she waited for me in my lab for this long.
I did the usual. I lied on my bed, she jumped on my plastron, we hugged each other and we had a last talk. After some minutes of talking, I asked her what Leo did to her. For some reason, she seemed thoughtful. Too thoughtful.
"... Do you promise you won't tell anyone about this?"
"If you want this way, yes, I do."
She paused for a long time before finally telling me:
"... It's rape."
"What."
"Leo rapes me at night."
Now, this is it. RAPE!? Leonardo rapes his own sister? What type of brother is that!?
"Rape...?"
She nodded in response.
"(sigh). I really thought I could trust him your safety. I see now that I was way wrong. I'm so sorry you had to pass through this."
She looked surprised.
"You... You're not mad at me?" - She asked.
"Mad? How could I possibly be mad at you, Raph? You did nothing wrong. He was the one who did those things to you."
"But I haven't tell you anything..."
"And I understand. I know you were scared. I know you probably thought we would hate you for that. But you don't have to worry about that anymore, Raph. Never more. Because I am here with you, to help. And same is Father, Mickey, April, Casey, everyone. Please don't worry about that anymore, sis'." - I hugged her tighter, and I realized that she was crying.
"... T-thank you.." - She told me, hugging me tighter - "... Thank you so much..."
"It's okay. You don't have to worry. I'm here with you."
She kept crying in my embrace, so I sing the song Father sang for us when me and her were really close of each other...
"You are my sunshine
My only sunshine
You make me happy
When skies are grey
You'll never know, dear
How much I love you
Please don't take
My sunshine away
I'll always love you
And make you happy
'Cause you are my sunshine
My only sunshine
You make me happy
When skies are grey
You'll never know dear,
Just how much I love you
Please don't take
My sunshine away...
Please don't take my sunshine away..."
Donnie's Bedroom, 04:27 a.m.
I came to realize that I fell asleep while I sang that song for her. Now I understand why sensei used this song for us to sleep.
It really works.
I woke up, and something unusual happened: Raph wasn't in my embrace. Did I slept too long?
I look at the clock: 04:28.
Where is she?
So I hear something that came from Raph's room.
"Please stop-" - I could hear a voice. I could recognize this voice anywhere. Raph.
Leonardo could see his sister's expression.
He didn't know what to feel.
Should he feel grateful for Donnie for saving his sister?
Should he feel jealous of Donnie because of it?
Should he feel sad for being forgotten by her?
He didn't know.
He was just a child after all.
But one thing was sure: He wouldn't let him take Raph away from him.
Even when a child, Leonardo felt like he was being betrayed by his own brother, for trying to take, to steal someone so precious like Raph from him. He couldn't afford to look at him at the same way as before; he could only see a thief. A bastard. Someone he couldn't love anymore, no matter how hard he tried to.
And he was just a child when it happened.
I ran to the sound of the noise, my heart lurching as I recalled what Raph had told me just the other night. The things Leonardo was doing. The bad things. I could feel my fingertips growing cold as I stood outside Raph's closed bedroom door. Perhaps I should've come up the stairs more quietly. They clanged noisily under my feet, no doubt giving my position away.
The sound of a muted whimper seeped from underneath the door. Raph. All of a sudden I felt a pit of a scorching rage open in my belly, and my teeth grit together in such fury I could feel my jaw crying out in protest.
It didn't matter.
Now was not the time for stealth.
I flung the door open with a wild cry, only to be greeted with darkness. I could only see a small reflection, the glint of two eyes, but more became clear as my eyes adjusted to the dim light. Ropes. The sick bastard used ropes. I heard Raphaella's meal voice call out for help:
"Donnie please... Please help me.." - She whimpered.
I had seen Leonardo, arched in a predatory way over her bound figure, but I couldn't prepare myself for how quickly he voice hitched in my throat as he quite suddenly appeared before me, the most menacing expression I had ever seen him give adorned on his face.
He stood tall, his posture daring me to make the foolish decision of challenging him. Remembering my rage, I opened my mouth to speak, ready to tear down the monster my brother have chosen to become, but the words died on my lips. A low growl rumbled in Leonardo's throat; the most blood-chilling, awful, animalistic sound I had ever the terrible misfortune of hearing. Then, with his teeth bared like some kind of feral dog, Leo snarled:
"You're not taking her from me. At least... Not alive.
I thought he'd jump at me, but he didn't. Instead, he jumped at Raph, that seemed so scared that made me more angry. But I controlled myself.
He, in his quick movements, threatened to cut her neck off with a knife he had hidden in the back of his shell. I froze.
"What do you want?" - I asked him.
"Leave. And do not tell anyone about this."
"... No, I won't leave her here-"
"Donnie... Do what he asks... Please... I don't want you to get hurt..." - Raph begged.
"B-but Raph..."
"Please."
"... Will you be fine?"
"... I don't know."
So I was forced to leave. I can't believe that I really let him hurt her this way. I can't believe that I could be so... Weak.
But the way she was looking at me, she was begging me to leave. I couldn't say no to those eyes. I'll have to take a look on her at morning.
I get back to my room and lie on my bed.
The feeling is so different. I got used to share my bed with Raph.
The bed feels so big without Raph by my side. My arms are so empty without Raph for me to hug.
I feel so incomplete without Raph.
What will he do to her? Will he hurt her too badly? Will he depress her all the way down again?
Will he kill her?
So many questions, not even a single answer. I spent the whole night awake. I couldn't afford to sleep, not just because it feels incomplete, but because I could hear her cries of fear and pain from her room, and I couldn't do nothing about it.
I want to shatter Leo. I want to throw him out of a building, I want to tear him apart.
I want to make him pay for what he did.
(The next day)
"Raph?" - No one's in her room.
"Raph?" - No one's in Leo's room.
"Raph?" - No one's in the living room.
"Raph?" - No one's in the kitchen.
"Raph?" - No one's in the dojo.
So I came to realize that she wasn't home. Neither was Leo or Mickey.
Where could she be?
So I go look for her in the sewers. After 15 or 20 minutes later, I finally find her. She's standing by the cliff we found when we were kids.
Her favorite place in the sewers.
"Raph? Are you okay?" - I ask her, and she realizes I'm there, but her expression does not change.
"No..." - A blank expression. A blank tone.
"Raph, hey..." - I gently grab her shoulder and make her look at me - "Something else happened last night, isn't it?"
A pause. A long pause.
"It's just... Why should I feel happy if he will always pull me all the way back to sadness and despair? It just make me feel worse. Feel bad, then good, thinking it's over, but then he comes back and the sensation of the good feelings being taken from your grasp is even worse."
I understand her. I understand why this thoughts.
I can't let her keep these.
"... Hey. Do you know why you're important in our family?"
"I'm not important."
"Yes you are. You are our shield. You are the one that will always fight for us, until the end. We know we can always count on you. But that doesn't mean you don't need help, too. Everyone passes through bad moments and a ton of problems, but only the best people are brave enough to ask for help. I know you need us as much as we need you. You love us, and I know it as much as you do. I just forgot to tell you: Thank you. Thank you for all the times you worried about us. Thank you for protecting us from everything. Thank you for being our amazing big sister, and thank you for caring so much about us. Now, I shall ask you: Will you let me help you? Will you let me return everything you did for me?"
"Donnie..."
"Come here." - I said, opening my arms to hug her. My eyes are watering.
"Don... How can you do it?" - She asked, while hugging me.
"Do what?"
"In a moment, all my hopes are dead. I think I won't ever be happy again. But you are the one who can always relive my hopes, my dreams. How can you comfort me even if I'm so lost in despair?"
"I think I just love you."
"... Hah... Hah... I think I love you too."
"..." - We kept the silence for some minutes, just enjoying each other's warmness in our hug.
"... Don?"
"Yeah?"
"If... If I do something.. Something I wanted to do for a while... Will you hate me for it?"
"I won't ever hate you, Raph."
Listening to that, she let go of our hug and she did something I haven't expected:
She kissed me.
I knew she was tip-toeing. I could feel her wrapping her arms around my neck, bringing me closer to her. For some reason, part of me wanted to let go, because we both knew this was wrong.
But still, she wanted this. She wanted to kiss me. And I couldn't say "no" to her. I could feel her lips touching mine, my hands wrapping around her hips and her delicious hot breathing in my cheeks.
When we (finally) separated, she was blushing hard, and judging by that, she was also embarrassed.
"I... I'm so sorry..." - She said.
"Sorry for what?"
"You know. For kissing you, even if you don't wanted."
"... I think I love you, Raph."
"... I think I love you too."
So we go back home after some time looking at the giant hole down our feet. We told the truth about Leo to sensei, and he was banned from our lair.
So Raph asked Father if he could teach her how to be the leader, now that Leo is gone. Oh, Raph.
I love this girl.
= Raph's POV =
I know I'm not going to be like a "Leo the second". I just want to be there for my brothers. I want to be the shield that'll protect them from anything, even if I'm not so good on making plans like Leo did. I know I may find him around the city someday, but I won't ever fall for him. I will be strong for my brothers. And when the foot attacks again, I will be ready to give my life for them. I'll do it for everyone, even Leo. He had honor once.
I know I may not be the perfect leader, but I've learned something that everyone needed to know...
It doesn't matter how many mistakes you've made. All that matters is if you're going to give up on everything because of those mistakes, or if you'll decide to get up and continue, if you decide to learn with the mistake so you won't do it again.
I've learned how to be a leader.
I've learned how to be strong.
I've learned how to love.
And I won't give up on them, as long as I'm still alive.
Just like Donnie did.
Special thanks: trent . emily 659
Thank you for adding a better moment in the story. Ill try to make my writing better basing on your help. Have a great 2018!
~ Akimii.