My Eclipse Commentary

by Ms. Thestral Phoenix

I find this book wrong on so many levels and have decided to review/comment it. I understand if you do not agree, but you are not at all forced to read this. It is just my opinion and my first story. Warning: occasional swearing and rants. Read and review, maybe? Tell me what you think!

1. Chapter 1

A/N: Hello, my fellow Twi-haters! I have decided to try my hand at reviewing this book. Eclipse *shivers*. I swear, out of all of them this one makes me almost physically sick. We have Phsyco-Edward and Push-over-Bella. My inspiration is the lovely Follow Those Owls, she is my Twi-Hater Goddess, and by no means do I mean to usurp her story, in fact, go check it out: "The SPARKLING Twilight Commentary", I swear, it is inspirational, and comic, and I love it with all my hypothalamus. I just have a lot to say about everything going on here ._. If you don't agree, that's okay, you don't

Disclaime. I own nothing, I am grateful for that. ir belong to Stephanie Meyer. That is all.

Preface

So, as always the preface gives us little to no insight to what is actually happening in the story, now that doesn't surprise me, it's always annoying, none the less. We could just skip this and loose nothing. Of course, some people can be pulled in to the book by this little fragment, but I, personally, am not, so this makes me want to facepalm.

We know that he is preparing to defend "me", who as we may know by this book, is Bella "Mary-Sue" Swan, and that his family is fighting for their own lives.

Then she proceeds to be a pessimist and predict her own death with this little ray of sunshine:

"Would I ever learn the outcome of that other fight? Find out who the winners and the losers were? Would I live long enough for that?

The odds of that didn't look so great"

C'mon Bella! Positive thoughts! But oh well, that would be way OOC for her, to be honest

Whoop. I am already excited for this *intense sarcasm*